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Pennine Rover

Are Affairs An Alternative To Punting?

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I saw a BBC programme last week re the number of websites there are now so that people can meet to have extra marital flings. I had a quick look at some of them and there at least ten, although from the free search it would seem at least 4 share the same database.

There seems lots of ladies there but is it too good to be true? And of course they want £25 a month to be a member!

Anybody tried them? Are there really ladies who want no strings relationships just for sex and company?

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Remember ... it's not only the sex you are paying for when you visit WGs but the opportunity to walk away. Affairs can bring all kinds of complications into your life that visits to WGs allow you to avoid. Think very hard, fellas, before going down that particular road.

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I can only speak from my ( US based) experience...but over here that online "affair arrangement" is rife with BS & fraud- there's about 1 'real' women for every 200 guys who sign up..but you'll be encouraged to spend your credits ( ie fees) in responding to ghosts.

That said, there is one exception here in States (viz. the set-up is broadly real), and thats the "Sugar Daddy" sites ( as sexwork for $$ is criminalized, these skirt the law as it's a relationship <supposedly> that's being facilitated)- haven't persoanlly used them but them a few blokes who have...

I fully agree with poster above that punting is very different from an affair as invariably people catch feelings in latter!

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An affair is fraught with risk. The most obvious one being her reaction when you wish to end it.

A punt is confidential, risk free (if you are sensible) and easily covered up.

No way would I risk an affair.

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I think many men see escorts because they don't want affairs which can get messy and also they don't have to put in the same effort of wooing a lady and wondering whether she will put out!

I think affairs, certainly long term ones involve a degree of emotional involvement which can be cause hurt when they are over.

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Stick to punting - men always get their affairs found out. And it's very time consuming, the male to female ratio is always very high. VERY high.

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I've done both in my life but the deceit all round when having an affair is far worse than punting

.

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I saw a BBC programme last week re the number of websites there are now so that people can meet to have extra marital flings. I had a quick look at some of them and there at least ten, although from the free search it would seem at least 4 share the same database.

There seems lots of ladies there but is it too good to be true? And of course they want £25 a month to be a member!

Anybody tried them? Are there really ladies who want no strings relationships just for sex and company?

I tried a few sites years ago and i did meet some women who i made very clear to that i was only looking for no strings sex, they said that was fine but two went nuts when it was clear to them thats all i wanted. My advice is never give your address to people until you know you can trust them, i had an absolute bunny boiler turn up trying to destroy my relationship with my then partner, lesson learned. I also went to a number of singles nights and speed dating with a mate of mine, he met his partner at one. I pulled a few times myself. There was also an Anglo/Asian singles group that used to meet in Swiss Cottage, i pulled a lovely lady but after about half hour it became clear she thought we were in a committed relationship, she was actually talking about where we would live together. Now call me weird but i dont work at such a rapid pace. I had to put her straight and she went nuts to. Overall my experiences of this kind of dating is you can pull even if ugly but it could well involve hassle and strings. Of course some might not mind that though, i did.

Punting is far less risky for me on the emotional side and in theory its no strings, no hassle, just punt and go.

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Stick to punting - men always get their affairs found out.

Absolutely right and I speak from personal experience. To walk away from punting is easy no matter how much you like the lady. It's nothing personal from the man because he knows that, although the lady might like him, it is a business for her. He may say he will return but she doesn't take it as gospel. The other side of the coin is that when he wants to return she might not be there.

In an affair you are constantly trying to arrange how often you can get together. The passion and excitement overwhelms the caution. What about the neighbours? You might not know them but they may know you! As I discovered !! Then it ends and it's traumatic for at least one of you and, as been said, you don't know what the reaction of the other person will be.

Punting can be dangerous but nowhere near as having an affair. Two entirely different liaisons. The only thing they have in common is sex.

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Absolutely right and I speak from personal experience. To walk away from punting is easy no matter how much you like the lady. It's nothing personal from the man because he knows that, although the lady might like him, it is a business for her. He may say he will return but she doesn't take it as gospel. The other side of the coin is that when he wants to return she might not be there.

In an affair you are constantly trying to arrange how often you can get together. The passion and excitement overwhelms the caution. What about the neighbours? You might not know them but they may know you! As I discovered !! Then it ends and it's traumatic for at least one of you and, as been said, you don't know what the reaction of the other person will be.

Punting can be dangerous but nowhere near as having an affair. Two entirely different liaisons. The only thing they have in common is sex.

That's a spot on answer.

Around 10 years ago, I had an affair. Started with an email from an ex who'd tracked me down on Friends Reunited. Well we certainly did. She was single at the time, had two (or was it three) failed marriages which was not an encouraging start. She also had a 22-year old daughter who was a stunner and I often had dirty thoughts. She lived 60 miles away, so no neighbour issues, but I did meet some of her friends and wondered what they thought.

Anyway as gibbs points out, its fraught trying to meet, when like me, one was in a sexless marriage, and sex with the mistress was inifinitely better. I once left home at 5.30am on the pretence of special overtime, but an hour later was in her bed. Had to work the stand at a couple of trade shows at the NEC and her place was 20 mins away, so no prizes for guessing I didnt need a hotel. She even flew to Glasgow for an overnight while I was working at the SECC.

Even though I'd thought of walking out of the marital home, deep analysis of the financial implications such a step brought me to my senses quicke than a bottle of smelling salts, coupled with the fact this lady seldom had proper food in her home and predominantly ate a local pubs! A move to her house would have also complicated my work arrangements, and cost a lot more in travelling. So after 6 months of shagging fun, and the near miss of discovery, I reluctantly killed off the relationship. She was terribly upset, but understood, and fortunately for me, was not the vindictive type, so there were no repercussions from a woman scorned. Now all those years on, I am still with my wife,(I think she suspected I was playing away with someone else, but had no proof) with me having accepted that sex with her will be as infrequent as a Chancellor's news of a tax cut, instead having 6-8 punts per year as the mood takes me, as I can walk away. I find that with a further change of job, and staying away once every 6 weeks, covering one's punting tracks with a hotel incall from an escort or visit to her place, is a lot easier than covering the tracks of a full blown affair, with texts, emails, ahd headaches when Mrs T did actually want sex.

The only drawback to punting is the cost, which is more than an affair might be.

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It's not cheaper - the payment is simply not upfront and the fine print is endless.

Edited by randombird

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The only drawback to punting is the cost, which is more than an affair might be.

Can't agree. If you count up the fuel, meals out, odd hotels, stress etc I bet your affair was more expensive.

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It's not cheaper - the payment is simply not upfront and the fine print is endless.

Absolutely right, and money is only one aspect anyway, emotional heartache can be another.

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Around a month ago I had to help a friend move all his stuff out of his house, boxes and boxes full, listening to how the lawyers had insisted that various things be valuated and sold off so it could all be divided. Believe me, affairs are anything but the cheap option!

If you've got half a brain punting is pretty much risk free, you (within reason) get to choose when, where and how often you meet, and you're pretty much free to get as emotionally involved (GFE, when done well!) or as detached as you like, knowing all the while you can walk away from it at any time. Even single guys appreciate just how uncomplicated it can be, for someone in a relationship it's surely a no-brainer.

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There is a hybrid arrangement imo, not mentioned so far.

That is to have a regular (WG), who is happy to meet with you socially, not necessarily paid. That has both some of the risks of an affair, trying to fix times to meet up for longer periods etc. but also some of the pluses of an affair, it feels more real, for want of a better phrase.

I suspect that if caught out doing this, the reaction would be more akin to being caught having an affair. Whilst a partner might (just) buy the line of, "it was just sex", if she discovers you were meeting socially too, such a line would fail to convince :eek: .

Edited by TheVicar

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I tried one of those sites a few months back. They seem to be populated by desperate men and "bots" ie memebers claiming to be women but are non existent. A waste of time in my opinion.

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There is a hybrid arrangement imo, not mentioned so far.

That is to have a regular (WG), who is happy to meet with you socially, not necessarily paid. That has both some of the risks of an affair, trying to fix times to meet up for longer periods etc. but also some of the pluses of an affair, it feels more real, for want of a better phrase.

I suspect that if caught out doing this, the reaction would be more akin to being caught having an affair. Whilst a partner might (just) buy the line of, "it was just sex", if she discovers you were meeting socially too, such a line would fail to convince :eek: .

There is another option as well, a fuck buddy, problem i have is my mate is a lesbian now. :D :D :D

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Far be it from me to say "how women are," but I'd guess that in most cases, a wife is likely to be more forgiving of her husband seeing an escort than having an affair. Women are very often more concerned with emotional intimacy than physical intimacy (but not always!). I'd think punting could be played off much easier. If she finds out about the affair, she'd probably find out about a lot of communication, emotion, visits, etc. If she finds out about seeing an escort, it may only be one incident to explain away. The words "it's just sex" are actually pretty soothing. It's harder to fathom your partner being in a loving relationship with someone else and still loving you. I think punting is the wiser, less-harmful choice, for everyone involved.

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Far be it from me to say "how women are," but I'd guess that in most cases, a wife is likely to be more forgiving of her husband seeing an escort than having an affair. Women are very often more concerned with emotional intimacy than physical intimacy (but not always!). I'd think punting could be played off much easier. If she finds out about the affair, she'd probably find out about a lot of communication, emotion, visits, etc. If she finds out about seeing an escort, it may only be one incident to explain away. The words "it's just sex" are actually pretty soothing. It's harder to fathom your partner being in a loving relationship with someone else and still loving you. I think punting is the wiser, less-harmful choice, for everyone involved.

Relatively recently on Twitter I came across a link to a thread on Mumsnet started by a woman who found out her husband had been seeing escorts. If what you say is correct and If her reaction to this was anything to go by, I would hate to witness what she would have been like if she had found out about an affair.

Basically the thread was hijacked by "supportive Mumsnetters" and degenerated into a diatribe about drug addled hookers, STIs and people trafficking. What made it really compelling was that the husband logged on and tried to explain his position, something I think he regretted once they had all torn into him.

I think that the wife felt that she had been degraded by what he had done and couldn't believe he would spend money on this and not his family.

Ultimately it was a sobering look into the mind of a woman grieving for what she perceived as her lost idyll, and the social stigma brought about by her husband's betrayal. Definitely something that would make some of the married members on here break out into a sweat.

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Here is my take.

I punt because I want more sex. No strings attached sex. It also allows me to explore myself sexually and I like the variety of women. One month I may have the urge for a 50+ WG and another month i may want an under 25. Punting allows me to do the sexual things I probably cannot do in a relationshp.

An affair involves developing feelings to the point of having a relationship with another woman.

To me they are not the same thing.

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I am married and I have been down the affair road and decided its not for me. Punting gives me all I want which is no strings sex with lovely ladies who would do what the wife wont do and a lesser chance of being caught.

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I saw a BBC programme last week re the number of websites there are now so that people can meet to have extra marital flings. I had a quick look at some of them and there at least ten, although from the free search it would seem at least 4 share the same database.

There seems lots of ladies there but is it too good to be true? And of course they want £25 a month to be a member!

Anybody tried them? Are there really ladies who want no strings relationships just for sex and company?

I wouldn't classify these as affairs, more a different way of punting.

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There is another option as well, a fuck buddy, problem i have is my mate is a lesbian now. :D :D :D

Have to ask, does she let you watch? :lol:

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I have a client I see twice a week, just lately I was not around for a couple then full of cold for a couple more, he had sex with a civvy woman and is now bombarded with texts, pictures and phone calls, he is married and now shitting himself! He is worried if he tells her he is married or its only a one off she might make trouble for him, not a good situation to be in!

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