bendy

Try Too Hard Not To Cum, And Then Can't?

31 posts in this topic

OK - have any of you guys had this problem?

I am not a "quick repeater" and so when I punt, usually for an hour, I can only cum once. Naturally, I try to ensure that I hold off, and cum towards the end of the session.

On a couple of occasions when punting, and on several occasions when having sex with girlfriends, I try so hard not to cum, and hold off for so long, that I eventually can't actually cum at all.

This is obviously this quite frustrating. I am also aware that is potentially quite disappointing (or even insulting?) for the lady involved, and I confess on a couple of occasions to actually faking orgasms (no, really!) rather than admit I couldn't cum. Other times I have had to resort to finishing myself off by hand.

Fortunately, this doesn't happen too often. I also don't have a problem reaching orgasm if I just go for it. It only happens when I deliberately hold off to make myself last.

Is this just me? How do the rest off you handle this, or do you just cum when you feel ready regardless of how long it takes?

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Sometimes these days I find cumming with a condom on quite hard work and need to finish off uncovered in some way - hand or mouth

I doubt any women would be fooled by a fake male orgasm. The lack of spunk pumping would be too obvious?

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OK - have any of you guys had this problem?

I am not a "quick repeater" and so when I punt, usually for an hour, I can only cum once. Naturally, I try to ensure that I hold off, and cum towards the end of the session.

On a couple of occasions when punting, and on several occasions when having sex with girlfriends, I try so hard not to cum, and hold off for so long, that I eventually can't actually cum at all.

This is obviously this quite frustrating. I am also aware that is potentially quite disappointing (or even insulting?) for the lady involved, and I confess on a couple of occasions to actually faking orgasms (no, really!) rather than admit I couldn't cum. Other times I have had to resort to finishing myself off by hand.

Fortunately, this doesn't happen too often. I also don't have a problem reaching orgasm if I just go for it. It only happens when I deliberately hold off to make myself last.

Is this just me? How do the rest off you handle this, or do you just cum when you feel ready regardless of how long it takes?

Fortunately i have always been able to come when it suits me, its become a case of ever diminishing returns as i have got older though. I often finish myself off by hand because some WGs cant wank me at the speed i can myself and like for long, and i rarely come inside a WG.

It certainly isnt just you as threads have shown though. I would suggest relaxing and not putting as much pressure on yourself. :)

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Yes Bendy, I've been there perhaps three times. If I suppress it too much I'll never reach orgasm.

I now handle it differently:

Assuming the lady is in control at the given moment, rather than keep going with whatever activity and fight it off I ask her to slow down or I just change position as soon as I see the light in the distance so to speak. I do this long before I get near an orgasm so it doesn't seem to suppress the overall effect and I still get the finish when I want. Obviously if you're on top then just slow down or take a break.

I've spoken to ladies about this and it's not at all uncommon so don't think you have a problem. Suppressing an orgasm too much will kill it and your only relief is a sherman with happy (and frustrated) memories when you get home. :wacko:

DG

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Sometimes these days I find cumming with a condom on quite hard work and need to finish off uncovered in some way - hand or mouth

I doubt any women would be fooled by a fake male orgasm. The lack of spunk pumping would be too obvious?

As you are about to pretend to come you get a tissue and fake your orgasm covering your cock with the tissue not letting the WG see its contents and flush the tissue down the toilet immediately. ;)

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I doubt any women would be fooled by a fake male orgasm. The lack of spunk pumping would be too obvious?

You may be right - I was mostly banking on them not checking the (lack of) contents in the condom. The only time I faked without a condom on, we were doing anal (this wasn't with a WG) and I was hoping the copious amount of lube involved would cover the lack of spunk.

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Assuming the lady is in control at the given moment, rather than keep going with whatever activity and fight it off I ask her to slow down or I just change position as soon as I see the light in the distance so to speak. I do this long before I get near an orgasm so it doesn't seem to suppress the overall effect and I still get the finish when I want. Obviously if you're on top then just slow down or take a break.

Thanks DG - this is what I try to do. I have this issue more with girlfriends than WGs, and this is why. If I'm on a punt I am happy to do this becuase I feel I can be selfish. If I'm shagging a girlfriend, and she is approaching orgasm (and shouting yes, yes, harder, harder!) it doesn't really seem to be an option to spoil the moment (for her) by slowing down or stopping.

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I have similar problems sometimes. Now I just let go when I feel ready; if it's early we then have a mutual cuddling/oral/teasing/kissing/sensual playing session till either I get aroused again or she has a climax or we run out of time.

A major eruption is no longer the "be all and end all" for me like it used to be.

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Sometimes these days I find cumming with a condom on quite hard work and need to finish off uncovered in some way - hand or mouth

I doubt any women would be fooled by a fake male orgasm. The lack of spunk pumping would be too obvious?

This comment surprises me. Have you never had a dry orgasm? Many do.

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As you are about to pretend to come you get a tissue and fake your orgasm covering your cock with the tissue not letting the WG see its contents and flush the tissue down the toilet immediately. ;)

I have faked an orgasm with a WG just once. Usually I just say at the start of the meeting that I expect only to come once in the hour but will carry on enjoying myself after I've come but don't expect to come the second time. The one exception was with a WG overseas and she spoke almost no English. So I had come once and carried on for a second round then when I had had enough fun I just switched to doggy and I made out that I was coming inside her (with condom). Then I whipped off the condom and binned it myself in a tissue. I only did it because it was easier than trying to explain my expected limitations and at the outset I had agreed a come twice deal just to make sure I had got to play after first coming.

I don't think any WG minds whether you do or don't manage to come. The WGs who really care that you are enjoying yourself will just do what they can to help you and the ones that don't care just don't care!

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Yes, I have this problem sometimes in my non-puntingsex life.

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Get a copy of the film Chinatown, Jack Nicholson tells a great joke about this problem!

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This comment surprises me. Have you never had a dry orgasm? Many do.

no never, didn't know this was possible tbh

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Yeah, I sometimes have this issue too. Frustrating it is indeed! We should be able to come when we want to!!

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Agree with Frank, no idea what that is "dry orgasm".....

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I doubt any women would be fooled by a fake male orgasm. The lack of spunk pumping would be too obvious?

I've actually have faked orgamsed with some women a couple of times. I've even faked the pump and the lady said "Mmmmm, I felt that" in the belief that I had cum when inside her (with a condom on of course). Other times I've made all the right noises and then quickly gone to the bathroom to get rid of the empty condom so they can't see I've not cum.

I've faked orgamsed because I have had the problem of not wanting to cum too quickly and ended up not being able to cum at all, or I've cum very quickly and not been ready to cum again in the alloted time but, when a lady is telling you she wants you cum, I don't want to say "Sorry, I can't". I had this problem once with a GF, we were having some really great sex but, for whatever reason, although I was very in the mood for sex, I couldn't cum. She had cum a couple of times and then started to get upset that I couldn't cum and thought there was something wrong with her, that I she didn't 'do it' for me, when that wasn't the case at all. Because she was upset about it, ever since I have faked orgasms when necessary to avoid the lady feeling it's because she is somehow not attractive or not good in bed. I always have a wry smile now when I hear women talking about faking it, and how men never know, when men can do the exact same thing to them.

Re: dry orgasms yes, had those, when you're on round 5 or 6 in one night you have the sensation but you just don't produce sperm because you're running in empty at that point.

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This comment surprises me. Have you never had a dry orgasm? Many do.

I never have either. People's definitions confuse me sometimes. Recently I was with a girl who told me that she 'came several times, but the last one was an orgasm'. I mean what is the difference? I honestly dont know. Perhaps I should, I've been around long enough.

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Wow - this is far more common than I imagined. This message board can be fascinating.....

She had cum a couple of times and then started to get upset that I couldn't cum and thought there was something wrong with her, that I she didn't 'do it' for me, when that wasn't the case at all. Because she was upset about it, ever since I have faked orgasms when necessary to avoid the lady feeling it's because she is somehow not attractive or not good in bed.

This is exactly what I'm on about. I don't think the women appreciate how sensitive we really are!

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Oh dear you boys get worse... *Holly puts her headmistress outfit on, tightens up those stocking tops, (quite popular that with the clients come to think of it, but I digress <_< ), and waggles her cane at you all*.

Dry orgasms are very real and can happen to any man for a number of reasons. Sometimes its down to medication, illness ect, but mostly it happens during multiple orgasms simply because your body only stores a small amount of sperm.. Go Google it and see for yourself.

As for us girlies we are lucky, we can have a number of different types of orgasm, ranging from little tremours to vaginal orgasms right through to those whole body climax's that we get from clitoral stimulation.

End of class, you are dismissed! :P

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I have this problem sometimes. I'm often in danger of coming within the first 30 seconds, so I try very hard to hold off. It works so well I can end up losing my erection :(

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Oh dear you boys get worse... *Holly puts her headmistress outfit on, tightens up those stocking tops, (quite popular that with the clients come to think of it, but I digress <_< ), and waggles her cane at you all*.

Are you quite sure you're retired Holly ;) really, definitely 100% retired ;)

DG :P

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i cant come at all

the only way is if i have a big wank and then right at the end stick it in and then boom I come but I feel like Its just a big wank that I had and not proper sex

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A 'dry orgasm' or to give it the medical term -retrograde ejaculation- occurs when the sperm is discharged into the bladder rather than being ejaculated. It is far more common than people think. Most forms of surgery on the prostate gland either TURPS or the now more commonly practised green light laser surgery result in this, for many, distressing problem. The surgery damages beyond repair the muscle at the neck of the bladder. The feeling of an orgasm is much less powerful and for some men disappears completely leading to psychological and relationship problems. Given the alternative however of damage to the kidneys if the prostate problem is not resolved there is no serious alternative. This also causes problems for younger men still wishing to father a child. Advances in medical science mean that today sperm can be separated from urine and used in some form of IVF procedure.

p.s..I am not making this up- I had laser light surgery at 55 . I now make a habit of mentioning this to any WG I see to avoid the embarrassing questions about the empty condom.

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Its pretty normal for that to happen, if you get too close to orgasm and suppress it, it can put you off cumming for quite a while. Even my girlfriend has this problem if she gets too close and tries to put it off while being teased so it seems its normal physical problem. Just don't let yourself get too close. If you don't want to cum when your GF is shouting "harder" just change to rubbing your pubic bone against her clit instead of thrusting in and out this will stop you cumming but the increased clit stimulation will send her off like a firework.

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A 'dry orgasm' or to give it the medical term -retrograde ejaculation- occurs when the sperm is discharged into the bladder rather than being ejaculated. It is far more common than people think. Most forms of surgery on the prostate gland either TURPS or the now more commonly practised green light laser surgery result in this, for many, distressing problem. The surgery damages beyond repair the muscle at the neck of the bladder. The feeling of an orgasm is much less powerful and for some men disappears completely leading to psychological and relationship problems. Given the alternative however of damage to the kidneys if the prostate problem is not resolved there is no serious alternative. This also causes problems for younger men still wishing to father a child. Advances in medical science mean that today sperm can be separated from urine and used in some form of IVF procedure.

p.s..I am not making this up- I had laser light surgery at 55 . I now make a habit of mentioning this to any WG I see to avoid the embarrassing questions about the empty condom.

A retrograde orgasm and a dry orgasm they are two different things. With a dry orgasm its different altogether. The actual amount of sperm ejaculated in a normal orgasm is only about a teaspoonful, although have to admit sometimes it does seem a lot more, so in the case of multiples there simply is no sperm left to ejaculate but the orgasm itself still feels the same. This also can occur due to some medications and pressure either by the male himself or blocked sperm glands, oh and its more common in some cultures more than others. A dry orgasm can happen to men of any age and in fact tends to happen with younger men that are more sexually active, whereas a retrograde orgasm tends to affect older men.

Edited by Holly Maddison

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