Sarah Summers

Spooked/made To Feel Uncomfortable

67 posts in this topic

Yesterday I took a call from a guy who asked me if I would see him at 4.30pm. I agreed. I was at my flat already, and when he called it gave me time to finish something I was doing, and then shower and get ready.

He was slightly odd on the phone, not friendly at all and I had to ask him what his name was and he muttered something I did not catch and had to ask him again.

I got a vibe.. a feeling.. slightly uncomfortable by his phone manner, but brushed it aside.

Then he texted me and asked if I could see him and earlier, so I text back and said 4.15?

He agreed.

I showered and started getting ready. I noticed he had texted again. It read 'I am here now are you ready'. It was 4.05. Bugger, I was not ready, but not only that, when I looked out of the window he was not even there! ( I had asked him to wait somewhere)

He was not even on the street. It was deserted.

I text back and said 'No'.

Uncomfortable with the whole thing and perhaps a little too guarded but remembering I am in a vulnerable position here I text and asked him to call............

He did. I explained to him what he had done wrong and why i would not see him now.

He simply said 'OK' and rang off. No 'sorry' or 'I did not understand' or anything, nothing to make me feel good about this appointment.

Why, when it is all so simple, and why when you are about to have a nice time with a lady, do some guys behave like robots? It does not set the scene for what should be a great time.

Not only that.. I felt bad about seeing him and was glad I had made the decision to abort to meet, but I also felt bad about not seeing him... doh

Edited by Sarah Summers

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Yesterday I took a call from a guy who asked me if I would see him at 4.30pm. I agreed. I was at my flat already, and when he called it gave me time to finish something I was doing, and then shower and get ready.

He was slightly odd on the phone, not friendly at all and I had to ask him what his name was and he muttered something I did not catch and had to ask him again.

I got a vibe.. a feeling.. slightly uncomfortable by his phone manner, but brushed it aside.

Then he texted me and asked if I could see him and earlier, so I text back and said 4.15?

He agreed.

I showered and started getting ready. I noticed he had texted again. It read 'I am here now are you ready'. It was 4.05. Bugger, I was not ready, but not only that, when I looked out of the window he was not even there! ( I had asked him to wait somewhere)

He was not even on the street. It was deserted.

I text back and said 'No'.

Uncomfortable with the whole thing and perhaps a little too guarded but remembering I am in a vulnerable position here I text and asked him to call............

He did. I explained to him what he had done wrong and why i would not see him now.

He simply said 'OK' and rang off. No 'sorry' or 'I did not understand' or anything, nothing to make me feel good about this appointment.

Why, when it is all so simple, and why when you are about to have a nice time with a lady, do some guys behave like robots? It does not set the scene for what should be a great time.

Not only that.. I felt bad about seeing him and was glad I had made the decision to abort to meet, but I also felt bad about not seeing him... doh

Some people have poor social skills, perhaps he was one of them, perhaps he wasnt too smart or perhaps he was very nervous and/or felt guilty, who knows. I always go on my gut feeling nowadays, if i miss out on a gem my bad luck but i must be as sure as i can be before making a booking or going through with a booking once i have met the WG. Any hint of coldness and i am off.

Edited by smiths

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Looking on the guys side of things, he might have been a bit nervous and didnt want to upset you at getting a no.

But I dont think he was acting like a robot, more of a animal caught in your headlights so to speak.

When we guys first set out seeing escorts, its a strange scary world.

But for your own safety point of view, I can understand why you said no at the end.

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You have to go with your instincts, though your description of his behaviour shout out a lack of self confidence, I suspect he was perhaps a first timer and had rehearsed through it in his head so many times he had conditioned himself.

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I had something similar the other day. A guy had rung asking for an appointment at 11am. At 10;15 am he rang and said he was at a building nearby and asked to see me. I explained he had made an appointment for 11am and I would do my best to get ready but he would have to wait and I would ring him back. Again no sorry for turning up 45 mins early. Anyway i got ready quickly, I had showered already so just had makeup etc to do. I rang him back at 10:30am and directed him across, he told me he was in a location which should have put him outside my building but he said he could not see it.

My building is an unusual colour and as I say it should have been more or less in front of him.

He was quite brusque and I honestly did not believe he was where he said he was. I spent around 20 mins with him on the phone. He then said he was in front of the entrance to my building so I proceeded to give him the door code. However no buzz on the intercom was forthcoming, I asked him several times if he was really where he said he was and he then said no, then yes then admitted no and that he was lost. At which point I felt very uneasy and said that I didn't want to see him.I wondered if I was doing the right thing but something about the way he was telling me he was in specific locations around my building then admitting he was not and the whole expecting to be seen 45 minutes early then having me spend nearly 20 mins on the phone because he was for whatever reason not where he said he was just made me feel he was being very odd. I am very specific when I give directions and the day before when he rang he said he knew the place where I am based.

He kept ringing back asking why I wouldn't see him and I again repeated that I felt he was wasting my time..again he just said eventually 'ok' and sort of laughed.

Wonder if it was the same guy lol. You do wonder if you have done the right thing. As a wg you don't want to turn people away and you do factor nerves etc in but sometimes you just get a gut feeling about things.

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You "explained to him what he had done wrong"?

What had he done wrong? Not waiting in the place where the neighbours always see someone waiting and think "Oh, she's got another customer"?

Fully understand that you have to put your safety first and foremost, but what had this, probably very nervous, guy done wrong?

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I wouldn't feel bad about not meeting him (but I don't think you were being serious there.....you were having us on......naughty) and I'm looking at it from (hopefully) every good clients point of view. Advice has been given to the men that if they thought something was not quite right the run for cover. Exactly the same for the lady. The majority of the time the man is bigger and stronger than the woman. One lady I know found that out the hard way and she did nothing wrong. Another lady about 5'4" and 9st told me she was quite capable of taking care of any troublesome man and was quite serious when she said it. I expressed my opinion that sharp nails and a kick in the goolies might slow him down but that wouldn't stop a determined man. She still reckoned she would be able to handle ant situation.

Better safe than sorry is a very good maxim. How much money is your safety worth?

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I've never felt nervous about approaching the lady's premises which was why I didn't initially consider that possibility. But in the circumstances that both Sarah and Bibi describe something doesn't seem right. He would have to be a verrrrrrrry nervous and insecure individual to behave as they have described.

Bearing in mind your proximity to each other perhaps there are other things to be considered.

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I agree with Smiths and Spklors to an extent but...

This guy was told to park in a certain place which Sarah obviously monitors from her window, nowt new there I'm sure. Why did he call and say he was there when he obviously wasn't especially when it was 10 mins earlier than his now revised time. Sounds like a time waster getting some sort of thrill from pissing a WG about and doesn't have the balls to visit her for the time if his life.

I always follow instructions to the letter because we should all be aware there are likely to be some safeguards built in. I have had the occasional lady give me her house number 2 or 3 weeks prior to a punt which I find surprising as I'm used the the first time rigmarole of park here then call etc etc.

Even the most socially inept should at least be able to string a sentence together including a please and thank you when they expect intimacy with the lady.

Indie ladies working alone are naturally vulnerable although no doubt they have further safeguards and securities that we won't begin to discuss here for there sakes. I tend to think Sarah's sixth sense kicked in when she first spoke to the guy and was proven correct. We guys always bat on about walking through the door to a neurotic minger who won't do services advertised but it's paramount a lady feels comfortable with us and that disappears at the first hurdle if we don't follow arrival instructions to the tee.

DG

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If they won't respect your time and wishes before the booking, they're unlikely to respect them during, is my view. I recently had someone push several times for a same-day booking after I told him I was busy, and he quite nearly got himself blocked just for that; in the end, he apologised and acknowledged that he'd been pushy, so he's still in the good graces. :) Eagerness or nerves are perfectly natural and acceptable; poor manners or pushing boundaries are not, and the difference is usually quite apparent. Sarah, I think you absolutely did the right thing--what's more, you've given me a good reminder that if my gut is telling me something's wrong, it's within my power to refuse the booking, right up until the last minute.

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anyone who slightly makes you uncomfortable on the phone when working alone don't do it x

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It's much better to feel a little bit bad about turning someone down than to go through with it and maybe regret it for the rest of your life!!!

Stay safe girls. The above situations sound like guys deliberately messing you around for a kick, not just someone very nervous!

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I have been punting for over 20 years, and have no qualms about walking into a parlour or an escorts building to see her, but I am old school and have never been comfertable with a phone, and am worried about saying something on the phone in case someone who is not the person I am talking too, over hears anything.

There are a few of us about so that would account for the phone manner...

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I had someone this week who booked an appointment let's just say for 4pm, I asked him to phone or text me to confirm 1 hour beforehand which he did shortly after the hour mark telling me he was just setting off. I'll add here that when he made the initial booking I did clarify the town he'd be travelling to so he was clear on this. We discussed directions and I gave him a postcode, which took a while because he got cut off. Half an hour later he phoned to say there'd been roadworks on the motorway but I'd be free until 5pm so that would be ok and could we make it an hour later. This confused me because it was adding 1 hour 20 minutes when he'd already supposedly estimated 1 hour for the drive. Even if he was stuck completely stationary for half an hour (unlikely) he'd not need another 80 minutes to drive to me and I knew the route was fine because I'd driven it not long before he had that afternoon(and had since looked up traffic conditions online). When I asked where he was he gave the name of a specific place no more than 30 minutes drive from me(and that's generous), so I said you'll be here by 5.15pm no problems. Forty five minutes later he phoned to say he was now 14 miles from me(this was 35 minutes after the initial appointment time, 75 minutes after he said he'd set off), so I said you'll be here by 6pm then no problems. Ten past 6 not a squeak so I turned heating off, candles blown out and started to wind down assuming he wasn't coming. 30 minutes later(so 50 minutes after last contact and 90 minutes after initial appointment time) he phoned to say he was parked outside.

I did see him, but did explain he was lucky I'd not taken another booking or gone out. He looked as if I was telling him off but I'm sure if he'd had such a bad, long drive he'd have been exceedingly disappointed if I'd not answered my phone or had said sorry but not possible now. It did put an edge on the booking, especially I then ran around switching things on again and put a smile on.

He did admit he should have allowed more time, that he hadn't realised how long the drive would take him. I'm very good at advising on travel times but he didn't really seem to want to tell me where he was travelling from, which is fine so long as you get it right.

I know road conditions can change especially on rural roads but whatever the reason I had started to assume he either wasn't coming, or had given up.

It's very very difficult when you've never met a person before to know what to expect and what they are like.

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I asked him to phone or text me to confirm 1 hour beforehand which he did shortly after the hour mark telling me he was just setting off. I'll add here that when he made the initial booking I did clarify the town he'd be travelling to so he was clear on this. We discussed directions and I gave him a postcode.......... and 90 minutes after initial appointment time he phoned to say he was parked outside..........I did see him, but did explain he was lucky........ and put a smile on.

This brings to mind the phrase " how did you manage to dress yourself this morning on your own ?". :(

Two and a half hours for a journey that presumably should have taken him less than an hour. :blink: He must have had a satnav because you say you gave him your post code. Did you check what kind of car he arrived in? Perhaps the rubber band needed replacing? It wasn't a Fred Flinstone model was it?

I always have to travel some distance for every visit and have had to use, except on one occasion, a satnav for certainly every first visit. But I also go to www.theaa.com and check the route and timings against what my satnav says because they can differ. It seems only common sense. Also seems only sensible to allow a reasonable time extra in case of holdups. I don't want to arrive 30 minutes early and have to wait in the car nor do I want to arrive 30 minutes late in which case I am only entitled to 30 minutes (if I've booked an hour) of the lady's time.

It would appear that the only sensible decision this chap made was to arrange to see YOU. :D

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I felt bad about seeing him and was glad I had made the decision to abort to meet, but I also felt bad about not seeing him... doh

A lady is proposing to be alone, and probably naked, with a man she's never met before - I'd have said that if she has the slightest feeling in her water that "things are not quite all right", then she must abort the meet.

BTW If a lady asks a punter to follow a treasure hunt trail, before getting her door code, then she really ought to make it reasonably easy for the punter to do so! On one occasion, a couple of years back, I was told to go to another telephone box at the top of the town and ring again - the box was easy to find, but it was just off a busy round-about, and protected by double yellow lines, and, furthermore, as I realised when I did reach her door, it was half a mile away, and well out of sight, so she couldn't have seen whether I had my chain saw with me or not!

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This brings to mind the phrase " how did you manage to dress yourself this morning on your own ?". :(

Two and a half hours for a journey that presumably should have taken him less than an hour. :blink: He must have had a satnav because you say you gave him your post code. Did you check what kind of car he arrived in? Perhaps the rubber band needed replacing? It wasn't a Fred Flinstone model was it?

I always have to travel some distance for every visit and have had to use, except on one occasion, a satnav for certainly every first visit. But I also go to www.theaa.com and check the route and timings against what my satnav says because they can differ. It seems only common sense. Also seems only sensible to allow a reasonable time extra in case of holdups. I don't want to arrive 30 minutes early and have to wait in the car nor do I want to arrive 30 minutes late in which case I am only entitled to 30 minutes (if I've booked an hour) of the lady's time.

It would appear that the only sensible decision this chap made was to arrange to see YOU. :D

A sat nav was in use which gave the ETA as 1 hour later than the original appointment, but it was made to sound like his estimation whereas I was using the location he said he was at along with my local knowledge which is usually far better than electronic advice. I also have good reason to believe he'd stopped off to do some shopping en route too, which would explain arriving another 30minutes later.

Few years ago another chap popped postcode in satnav, seeing the distance as 29 miles he ignored the ETA displayed and allowed 30minutes. If he'd told me where he was setting out from, and on which road I would have advised leaving 1 hour before hand. Thus followed a similar game, he ended up 40 minutes late and I couldn't offer him the length of appointment he really,actually wanted.

Edited by Strawberry

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she couldn't have seen whether I had my chain saw with me or not!

I find that the lady usually opens the door for me to allow me in. :) What kind of ladies are you visiting when you need a chain saw to gain entry? They don't live in a castle and wear a chastity belt do they? :lol:

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Sarah, the detail is irrelevant. Safety first. Always trust your instincts

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Few years ago another chap popped postcode in satnav, seeing the distance as 29 miles he ignored the ETA displayed and allowed 30minutes. If he'd told me where he was setting out from, and on which road I would have advised leaving 1 hour before hand. Thus followed a similar game, he ended up 40 minutes late and I couldn't offer him the length of appointment he really,actually wanted.

If they speak with an EE accent and say they drive a lorry expect them to arrive the next day with the remains of a bridge on the back of the lorry. :lol:

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I agree with Smiths and Spklors to an extent but...

This guy was told to park in a certain place which Sarah obviously monitors from her window, nowt new there I'm sure. Why did he call and say he was there when he obviously wasn't especially when it was 10 mins earlier than his now revised time. Sounds like a time waster getting some sort of thrill from pissing a WG about and doesn't have the balls to visit her for the time if his life.

I always follow instructions to the letter because we should all be aware there are likely to be some safeguards built in. I have had the occasional lady give me her house number 2 or 3 weeks prior to a punt which I find surprising as I'm used the the first time rigmarole of park here then call etc etc.

Even the most socially inept should at least be able to string a sentence together including a please and thank you when they expect intimacy with the lady.

Indie ladies working alone are naturally vulnerable although no doubt they have further safeguards and securities that we won't begin to discuss here for there sakes. I tend to think Sarah's sixth sense kicked in when she first spoke to the guy and was proven correct. We guys always bat on about walking through the door to a neurotic minger who won't do services advertised but it's paramount a lady feels comfortable with us and that disappears at the first hurdle if we don't follow arrival instructions to the tee.

DG

I was giving possible reasons this guy might have acted as he did but i also said i go on my gut feelings nowadays so if i were Sarah i wouldnt of gone through with the booking, better safe than sorry. He could well have been a timewaster who knows.

On the socially inept point i have met some punters at parties that apart from being able to book and get to the party werent able to talk or interact at all with others, most leaving early or sitting about looking nervous and despite the hosts best efforts they didnt come out of their shells, a real shame but there are such people about DG. :)

Edited by smiths

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I was giving possible reasons this guy might have acted as he did but i also said i go on my gut feelings nowadays so if i were Sarah i wouldnt of gone through with the booking, better safe than sorry. He could well have been a timewaster who knows.

On the socially inept point i have met some punters at parties that apart from being able to book and get to the party werent able to talk or interact at all with others, most leaving early or sitting about looking nervous and despite the hosts best efforts they didnt come out of their shells, a real shame but there are such people about DG. :)

I think in life there really are people who cannot organise themselves and punting which can be a particularly nerve-wracking experience brings out the worst of this. On the other hand there are men out there who are the complete opposite.

A few years ago I had a guy who'd made a booking tell me when he set off his car steered him out of his driveway, round the block and back home. He'd booked and cancelled a couple of times previously, as well as make various enquiries prior to this. I really do despair sometimes. My advice is make a decision and either do it, go through with it or accept it's not for you.

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I think in life there really are people who cannot organise themselves and punting which can be a particularly nerve-wracking experience brings out the worst of this. On the other hand there are men out there who are the complete opposite.

A few years ago I had a guy who'd made a booking tell me when he set off his car steered him out of his driveway, round the block and back home. He'd booked and cancelled a couple of times previously, as well as make various enquiries prior to this. I really do despair sometimes. My advice is make a decision and either do it, go through with it or accept it's not for you.

Agreed, I'm sure we punters all remember our first punt vividly. I was seriously bricking it when I got to the ladys' street but for me it was the adrenaline from my nerves that carried me to the door. I can remember almost every aspect of that punt (especially how her first words were that she'd changed me from an hour to 30 mins because someone else wanted fitting in). I accept we're all different but that's no excuse to piss a lady about.

DG

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Even the most socially inept should at least be able to string a sentence together including a please and thank you.

You'll be surprised at how many people won't can't....

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My first visit to a lady was an apartment block in the centre of Birmingham a city that I am totally unfamiliar with and it was a nightmare. First if all, with the aid of my trusty satnav, I ended up 3 miles off target. Then I discovered that my satnav was unable to recognise the address. I should have asked her for a nearby street but didn't think at the time. Anyway I got somewhere near but because pf my confusion committed a traffic offence. Instantly the police were on me. I apologised and explained the problem with the satnav. The officer explained that I was only about 300 yards from my destination and gave me directions. I drove on and promptly got in the wrong lane and was up the creek again.

Whilst sat at the red traffic lights the same officer pulled up in front of me and gestured for me to follow him. He took me right to the door and also showed me where to park.

What more can one say about our police force?

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