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jd74

Why I Punt

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Ive only been punting since August, and since then have seen 10 ladies.

I was sitting there the other night, asking myself why i do it. Ive been in a relationship with who i believe is my "soul mate" for the last 7 years or so. She is perfect, doesnt give me any grief or any reason to worry, reliable, financially secure and sensible and loyal.

The one issue i have, however, is our sex life. When we first met she was very sexually adventurous, willing to try almost anything. Now, here we are 7 years on, couldnt be more different. Although we have sex at least once a week, and is good (although mostly in the same position) it is a little bit boring.

Ive tried gifts (perfume, lingerie which never get worn), weekends away, holidays - nothing seems to work....... I sat down with her the other night and talked to her about maybe doing some different things to spice it up a bit - suggested toys, dressing up, roleplay, anything different. The response i got was "you can get those things out of your head straight away" LOL.

I do love her dearly and am happy to spend the rest of my life with her, and im not blaming her totally. I think if i hadnt have started the "hobby" i may have been tempted at some point to maybe stray, but having this sideline keeps my relationship perfectly in the balance.

Strange i know, as well as very deceitful, but it seems a way to keep me happy.......

Maybe just trying to justify it :)

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I think many of us, myself very much included, believe punting keeps relationships together rather than splits them up (unless you get caught).

If I couldn't punt I'd walk out, end of. Hate it here and punting is my sanity break. A naked chat and cuddle with a beautiful lady is as much part of the experience as the sexual activities.

Perhaps punting education should be on the school curriculum and all girls accept their men will punt in order to have a happy and stable relationship :D :D :D

DG

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I might be a working girl but I do so love a happy ending and I am a firm believer in marriage and all that goes with it.

There is one thing which nags away in my head with regard to the guy who dearly loves his wife but for one reason or another the sex life diminishes (you have to work at it and keep it horny or it will become staid and boring and then practically non existent because it is so boring)...........

The guy who dips his toe into punting for his extra marital 'fix ' wakes up to the realisation one day that he only wants to punt because he no longer fancies his wife and never wants to have sex with her again. This is not good, and for me feels the negative here.

One more thing, when the guy offers to spice the marriage up and gets a rebuff I think it is because his wife feels out of her depth. Communication is the key.

Edited by Sarah Summers

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I think that jd needs to start to woo his lady again. Try

1 not to think of sex as the ultimate aim but

2 try flattery,

3 think about places you went to in your early days,

4 where did you do your "courting"?

5 Where did you first make love with her?

6 What attracted her to you? Have you still got it?

Thinking about your relationship in the long term without sex in the way but as the two of you getting to know each other again.

If all else fails try marriage guidance

I wish you both luck.

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I might be a working girl but I do so love a happy ending and I am a firm believer in marriage and all that goes with it.

There is one thing which nags away in my head with regard to the guy who dearly loves his wife but for one reason or another the sex life diminishes (you have to work at it and keep it horny or it will become staid and boring and then practically non existent because it is so boring)...........

The guy who dips his toe into punting for his extra marital 'fix ' wakes up to the realisation one day that he only wants to punt because he no longer fancies his wife and never wants to have sex with her again. This is not good, and for me feels the negative here.

One more thing, when the guy offers to spice the marriage up and gets a rebuff I think it is because his wife feels out of her depth. Communication is the key.

My cause and effect are the other way round.

I'd decided I never wanted sex at home again first then started punting a couple of years after. I only had one minor misdemeanour at home after punt No2 but then never again and haven't looked back (never will).

So, for me, punting fills the sexual void left by not wanting sex at home as opposed to being the cause of not wanting sex at home.

DG

Edited by Diamond Geezer

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Ive only been punting since August, and since then have seen 10 ladies.

I was sitting there the other night, asking myself why i do it. Ive been in a relationship with who i believe is my "soul mate" for the last 7 years or so. She is perfect, doesnt give me any grief or any reason to worry, reliable, financially secure and sensible and loyal.

The one issue i have, however, is our sex life. When we first met she was very sexually adventurous, willing to try almost anything. Now, here we are 7 years on, couldnt be more different. Although we have sex at least once a week, and is good (although mostly in the same position) it is a little bit boring.

Ive tried gifts (perfume, lingerie which never get worn), weekends away, holidays - nothing seems to work....... I sat down with her the other night and talked to her about maybe doing some different things to spice it up a bit - suggested toys, dressing up, roleplay, anything different. The response i got was "you can get those things out of your head straight away" LOL.

I do love her dearly and am happy to spend the rest of my life with her, and im not blaming her totally. I think if i hadnt have started the "hobby" i may have been tempted at some point to maybe stray, but having this sideline keeps my relationship perfectly in the balance.

Strange i know, as well as very deceitful, but it seems a way to keep me happy.......

Maybe just trying to justify it :)

I can only empathise, being in a not dismilar position myself, except that I would never consider leaving my wife who has given me so much in so many ways. Having punted before we met(later in life) and since,sex has become routine and staid. In my case, suggestions to spice it up have been met with comments such as "I would feel like a tart".

Problem is, that's just what I go and pay for.

My wife seems resigned to our virtual nil sex-life. I'm not saying I'm blameless for this and I suppose as long as I'm getting my kicks elsewhere I'm not going to push it. Sex or lack of apart, we have a great relationship. It ain't pefect but I can live with it.

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willbred, sounds like an exact mirror of my relationship. I would never consider leaving my OH either.

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I can only empathise, being in a not dismilar position myself, except that I would never consider leaving my wife who has given me so much in so many ways. Having punted before we met(later in life) and since,sex has become routine and staid. In my case, suggestions to spice it up have been met with comments such as "I would feel like a tart".

Problem is, that's just what I go and pay for.

My wife seems resigned to our virtual nil sex-life. I'm not saying I'm blameless for this and I suppose as long as I'm getting my kicks elsewhere I'm not going to push it. Sex or lack of apart, we have a great relationship. It ain't pefect but I can live with it.

Have you thought about approaching her in a more gentle way... easing her into behaving like a wanton woman?

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Have you thought about approaching her in a more gentle way... easing her into behaving like a wanton woman?

Thanks for the advice, Sarah. I have spent a lot of time thinking about all the angles. It is refreshing to hear a WG advocate that a punter should encourage their partner to behave like a wanton women - be careful, if it catches on business could decline!! lol x

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Ive only been punting since August, and since then have seen 10 ladies.

I was sitting there the other night, asking myself why i do it. Ive been in a relationship with who i believe is my "soul mate" for the last 7 years or so. She is perfect, doesnt give me any grief or any reason to worry, reliable, financially secure and sensible and loyal.

The one issue i have, however, is our sex life. When we first met she was very sexually adventurous, willing to try almost anything. Now, here we are 7 years on, couldnt be more different. Although we have sex at least once a week, and is good (although mostly in the same position) it is a little bit boring.

Ive tried gifts (perfume, lingerie which never get worn), weekends away, holidays - nothing seems to work....... I sat down with her the other night and talked to her about maybe doing some different things to spice it up a bit - suggested toys, dressing up, roleplay, anything different. The response i got was "you can get those things out of your head straight away" LOL.

I do love her dearly and am happy to spend the rest of my life with her, and im not blaming her totally. I think if i hadnt have started the "hobby" i may have been tempted at some point to maybe stray, but having this sideline keeps my relationship perfectly in the balance.

Strange i know, as well as very deceitful, but it seems a way to keep me happy.......

Maybe just trying to justify it :)

This sadly is a familiar story as posted on here over the years. Do what makes you happy is my best advice. I have lied and cheated for all my adult life by punting, it was when i had an affair though that my world nearly came crashing down. I punt for sex and have a relationship for love which includes sex but the simple fact is i require variety which one woman cant offer. :)

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Just life you have become friends and women find that difficult, just get what you are missing outside and put it down to that is just the norm, it will keep your relationship happy anyhow bec you get everything else at home. I'm sure she isn't silly but prob wont go out of her way to confirm in her head you are playing away but just ignore it.

Edited by heather

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Thanks for the advice, Sarah. I have spent a lot of time thinking about all the angles. It is refreshing to hear a WG advocate that a punter should encourage their partner to behave like a wanton women - be careful, if it catches on business could decline!! lol x

No... I do that come rain or shine :)

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I do it to fulfil fetishes that you'd be embarrassed to normally do. A good way to play out your fantasies and then dream up new ones that could turn into a reality.

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I got sex with my wife about 3 in the morning late last night! Amazing! No, no - not the sex, just the fact that I got it at all!! Very much a rarity here. And I even came, something which I don't seem to be able to manage with a WG because of those accursed condoms or maybe nerves. It was such a unique and precious occasion that I will note it down (in code, of course) in my diary :)

The rest of the time, if I start to feel the need and the longings really badly I just quietly go and pay, just like you do.

So yes, you ladies who'll willingly let a much older man you're not attracted to have sex with you are like angels of mercy to me.

I feel more content within my loving marriage now. No more struggling to try to make her what she is not, or do what she has no interest in doing 99% of the time. Paying for sex now and then is the perfect solution. I don't even feel much guilt at all anymore. My only remaining concern is the thought of spending money that could go towards the gas and electricity bills, or a hundred other expenses :(

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Ive only been punting since August, and since then have seen 10 ladies.

I was sitting there the other night, asking myself why i do it. Ive been in a relationship with who i believe is my "soul mate" for the last 7 years or so. She is perfect, doesnt give me any grief or any reason to worry, reliable, financially secure and sensible and loyal.

The one issue i have, however, is our sex life. When we first met she was very sexually adventurous, willing to try almost anything. Now, here we are 7 years on, couldnt be more different. Although we have sex at least once a week, and is good (although mostly in the same position) it is a little bit boring.

Ive tried gifts (perfume, lingerie which never get worn), weekends away, holidays - nothing seems to work....... I sat down with her the other night and talked to her about maybe doing some different things to spice it up a bit - suggested toys, dressing up, roleplay, anything different. The response i got was "you can get those things out of your head straight away" LOL.

I do love her dearly and am happy to spend the rest of my life with her, and im not blaming her totally. I think if i hadnt have started the "hobby" i may have been tempted at some point to maybe stray, but having this sideline keeps my relationship perfectly in the balance.

Strange i know, as well as very deceitful, but it seems a way to keep me happy.......

Maybe just trying to justify it :)

If I had a woman I could call my soulmate, I don't think I could bring myself to cheat on her with escorts no matter what. I would hope my propriety and Christian values would allow me take a reality check and resist any temptation of the flesh leading to actual physical interaction with any lady of negotiable affections. There is a plethora of sexual media to help me satisfy my needs without having to compromise my integrity.

Escorts do serve a purpose as a kind of stop gap between relationships or as a more permanent means of (physical) sexual gratification for the those who are socially or physically inept or incapable at finding a loving realationship and believe they need the physical contact.

Of course, whatever others do is their business but I am a 'do unto others....' kind of person myself.

Sorry if I sound over sacntimonious.

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If I had a woman I could call my soulmate, I don't think I could bring myself to cheat on her with escorts no matter what. I would hope my propriety and Christian values would allow me take a reality check and resist any temptation of the flesh leading to actual physical interaction with any lady of negotiable affections. There is a plethora of sexual media to help me satisfy my needs without having to compromise my integrity.

Sorry if I sound over sacntimonious.

You do sound over sanctimonious to me. You state in line 1 that you are a Christian, and from what I remember being beaten into me at boarding school the ten commandments state that "thou shalt not commit adultery". Sex outside what we used to call "wedlock" is adulterous and so in breach of your professed Christian values. You can't have it both ways mate.

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If I had a woman I could call my soulmate, I don't think I could bring myself to cheat on her with escorts no matter what. I would hope my propriety and Christian values would allow me take a reality check and resist any temptation of the flesh leading to actual physical interaction with any lady of negotiable affections. There is a plethora of sexual media to help me satisfy my needs without having to compromise my integrity.

Escorts do serve a purpose as a kind of stop gap between relationships or as a more permanent means of (physical) sexual gratification for the those who are socially or physically inept or incapable at finding a loving realationship and believe they need the physical contact.

Of course, whatever others do is their business but I am a 'do unto others....' kind of person myself.

Sorry if I sound over sacntimonious.

And what about being in a sexless relationship? You patronisingly believe I can only punt between relationships when visiting an escort is probably what is saving my relationship from total collapse.

Maybe I should stop seeing escorts, kick the other half out and go find a new soul mate!

DG

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I see escorts because it gives me such a thrill and buzz that I cant describe or get anywhere else, I have tried smoking, drinking, drugs etc, but nothing can beat the feeling of cuddling upto a pretty lady whom you have just been sexual with.

Its orgasmic...and I dont need any reason to justify it.

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...

Escorts do serve a purpose as a kind of stop gap between relationships or as a more permanent means of (physical) sexual gratification for the those who are socially or physically inept or incapable at finding a loving realationship and believe they need the physical contact.

I'd like to thank you for your kind consideration to those of us who are socially or physically inept.

...

Of course, whatever others do is their business but I am a 'do unto others....' kind of person myself.

Presumably before they 'do it to you'.

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If I had a woman I could call my soulmate, I don't think I could bring myself to cheat on her with escorts no matter what. I would hope my propriety and Christian values would allow me take a reality check and resist any temptation of the flesh leading to actual physical interaction with any lady of negotiable affections. There is a plethora of sexual media to help me satisfy my needs without having to compromise my integrity.

Escorts do serve a purpose as a kind of stop gap between relationships or as a more permanent means of (physical) sexual gratification for the those who are socially or physically inept or incapable at finding a loving realationship and believe they need the physical contact.

Of course, whatever others do is their business but I am a 'do unto others....' kind of person myself.

Sorry if I sound over sacntimonious.

Why are you sorry? You know your being sanctimonious so why apologise or was that to stop peoples backs going up?

I'm not going to apologise for what I'm about to say, but I found your post offensive in a number of ways. Firstly refering to escorts as 'serving a purpose as a kind of stop gap', the way you spoke there infers we are not worth much more than that. Secondly hiding behind Christianity does not make you a better person anymore than not seeing a SP during relationships does. Do you really think its right for any person to be locked into a sexless relationship? Also there are many many out there that would view a person using that plethora of sexual media to satisfy your needs as still being unfaithful towards your partner 'especially if its done without their knowledge'.

I'm a whore 'almost put was then because I'm retired, but I know I'll always be a whore deep down'. My sister is currently studying within the church, and I have a close uncle that is a curate. When my late father passed, at his funeral both my sister and this uncle took me to one side and said, and I quote, 'now is the time to re-evaluate your life and become a good person again' To say I was angry was an understatement, how dare they assume that I'm not a good person and use their Christianity to look down on me in such a pious way, they are not better than me in anyway, how can they be?

Doing what they were doing at that moment was down right cruel and only done so that they could feel better about themselves, they didn't really care about me or my feelings. Joke was my father was an atheist, we did't even have a vicar at the funeral because of that, (his wishes), and he was not only well aware of my lifestyle, but a lot closer to me than my sister.

I'm not knocking your faith, but please do not assume that because you have a faith it makes you a better person than I or anyone else here because it does not.

Holly x

Edited by Holly Maddison

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Well said Holly. Religion has a lot to answer for in my view. It is certainly at the root of most recent wars.

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Well said Holly. Religion has a lot to answer for in my view. It is certainly at the root of most recent wars.

I will say sorry to everyone else for my rant Paul, but I absolutely hate it when people think they are better than me because of what I do, or because of what they believe they are.

There is nobody better than me in this world... Nobody worse either if being honest ;):P At least I'm honest about who and what I am and would never look down on others or use others to make me feel better about myself. Its like those people that go off to soup kitchens at Christmas to ease their own concience... What about the rest of the year?

As for religion don't get me started there, thats for a different thread I think...lol

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If I had a woman I could call my soulmate, I don't think I could bring myself to cheat on her with escorts no matter what. I would hope my propriety and Christian values would allow me take a reality check and resist any temptation of the flesh leading to actual physical interaction with any lady of negotiable affections. There is a plethora of sexual media to help me satisfy my needs without having to compromise my integrity.

Escorts do serve a purpose as a kind of stop gap between relationships or as a more permanent means of (physical) sexual gratification for the those who are socially or physically inept or incapable at finding a loving realationship and believe they need the physical contact.

Of course, whatever others do is their business but I am a 'do unto others....' kind of person myself.

Sorry if I sound over sacntimonious.

Thanks for your opinion, and your ability to alienate lots of people in one foul swoop......... with regard to religion, has it not been proved on many occasions that a lot of religious "fanatics" have a higher level of sexual deviance? I will quote cases if you require.

As they saying goes "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

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Thanks for your opinion, and your ability to alienate lots of people in one foul swoop......... with regard to religion, has it not been proved on many occasions that a lot of religious "fanatics" have a higher level of sexual deviance? I will quote cases if you require.

As they saying goes "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

I'm fresh out of stones. Will rocks do? :)

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As for religion don't get me started there, thats for a different thread I think...lol

Come on then, Holly. It's about time that someone else started a more serious thread in the Off Topic section. I seem to have had it all my own way recently.

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