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Peterbry

Ladies, What Is The Etiquette For Clients Who Turn Up Late?

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Here is a question for the ladies on what the etiquette is in handling a client who is late to an appointment? I ask because it happened to me today.

I don't punt often anymore so, when I do, I like to spend a couple of hours with the right lady. A few months ago I had a reverse booking up on AW and got quite a few responses. The particular lady who I wanted to see today replied but on the last occasion I chose to meet someone else. Rather than but up a RB I contacted her on Monday to see if she was free this week and would still be happy to meet. She replied to say she was free Thursday evening or during the day Friday so we agreed to meet today at 12pm. The plan was that she would meet at her local London tube station and we'd go back to hers from there.

This morning I sent her a text to check we were still on for meeting. She replied back to say she could still meet but could it be 12.30pm instead. No problem I thought, I'll just get a later train so said OK. When I got to the train station to get in to London the train was delayed by 10 minutes. I didn't think much of it as I would have got to hers early anyway. However, the delay meant that more people than usual were on the train and at each stop more people than usual wanted to now get on, so the journey in to town also took longer than usual. I still wasn't that concerned, it was only an extra few minutes and I thought I could make up the time.

However, arriving in to London the tube is now also experiencing delays. I realise I will now be late but as I'm underground there is nothing I can do to contact her. The station where we planned to meet was one of those overground tube stations on the outskirts of London. As soon as the tube went from underground to overground and my phone got a signal I sent her a text to say I would be late (by which time it was about 12.40pm). There was no reply to my text. About 10 minutes later I finally got to her station.

As soon as I got off the station I phoned her on the number provided. It rang twice then went to voicemail. I left her a message to say I was very sorry for being late but I was now at the station if she wanted to meet. As soon as I left the voicemail I also sent a text to again apologise and let her know I was at the station. I waited 5 minutes with no reply. I tried to call again but this time it went straight to voicemail. By this time I'm now sure she's angry with me for being late and is likely ignoring me. However, a little part of me thinks she may still be on her way to meet. I don't leave a voicemail but I decide to wait outside the station for another 5 minutes. After 5 minutes and no reply I try to call again but again it goes to voicemail. I know by now the meeting is off but I give it another 5 minutes anyway, I think it's only right I should give her some time seeing as I was the late one. Without a reply now for 15 minutes I call again and it goes straight to voicemail so I leave a message to let her know that I'm very sorry for turning up late, I can see why she's angry with me, and I'm getting back on the train now so the meeting is off. On the return journey home I hear nothing from her.

In total it was a near 4 hour round trip for nothing. I realise it was my fault for being late, but also that she did change the meeting time anyway. Is it right for her to just completely ignore me? Is that how ladies normally handle late comers? I wanted to send her an email when I got home to again apologise as, unlikely as it was probably was, I would still like to meet her in the future, she seemed nice when we spoke earlier in the week. However, when I logged on to AW I see her profile has now been suspended. What is going on? Have I dodged a bullet or have I behaved like a total dick?

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Here is a question for the ladies on what the etiquette is in handling a client who is late to an appointment? I ask because it happened to me today.

I don't punt often anymore so, when I do, I like to spend a couple of hours with the right lady. A few months ago I had a reverse booking up on AW and got quite a few responses. The particular lady who I wanted to see today replied but on the last occasion I chose to meet someone else. Rather than but up a RB I contacted her on Monday to see if she was free this week and would still be happy to meet. She replied to say she was free Thursday evening or during the day Friday so we agreed to meet today at 12pm. The plan was that she would meet at her local London tube station and we'd go back to hers from there.

This morning I sent her a text to check we were still on for meeting. She replied back to say she could still meet but could it be 12.30pm instead. No problem I thought, I'll just get a later train so said OK. When I got to the train station to get in to London the train was delayed by 10 minutes. I didn't think much of it as I would have got to hers early anyway. However, the delay meant that more people than usual were on the train and at each stop more people than usual wanted to now get on, so the journey in to town also took longer than usual. I still wasn't that concerned, it was only an extra few minutes and I thought I could make up the time.

However, arriving in to London the tube is now also experiencing delays. I realise I will now be late but as I'm underground there is nothing I can do to contact her. The station where we planned to meet was one of those overground tube stations on the outskirts of London. As soon as the tube went from underground to overground and my phone got a signal I sent her a text to say I would be late (by which time it was about 12.40pm). There was no reply to my text. About 10 minutes later I finally got to her station.

As soon as I got off the station I phoned her on the number provided. It rang twice then went to voicemail. I left her a message to say I was very sorry for being late but I was now at the station if she wanted to meet. As soon as I left the voicemail I also sent a text to again apologise and let her know I was at the station. I waited 5 minutes with no reply. I tried to call again but this time it went straight to voicemail. By this time I'm now sure she's angry with me for being late and is likely ignoring me. However, a little part of me thinks she may still be on her way to meet. I don't leave a voicemail but I decide to wait outside the station for another 5 minutes. After 5 minutes and no reply I try to call again but again it goes to voicemail. I know by now the meeting is off but I give it another 5 minutes anyway, I think it's only right I should give her some time seeing as I was the late one. Without a reply now for 15 minutes I call again and it goes straight to voicemail so I leave a message to let her know that I'm very sorry for turning up late, I can see why she's angry with me, and I'm getting back on the train now so the meeting is off. On the return journey home I hear nothing from her.

In total it was a near 4 hour round trip for nothing. I realise it was my fault for being late, but also that she did change the meeting time anyway. Is it right for her to just completely ignore me? Is that how ladies normally handle late comers? I wanted to send her an email when I got home to again apologise as, unlikely as it was probably was, I would still like to meet her in the future, she seemed nice when we spoke earlier in the week. However, when I logged on to AW I see her profile has now been suspended. What is going on? Have I dodged a bullet or have I behaved like a total dick?

So to sum up you let her know 10 minutes after the agreed meeting time that you would be 20 minutes late?

I haven't a clue what she's thought or done but a bit of leeway should be allowed by both sides.

If she is genuine then I'd guess she waited best part of ten minutes then thought you probably weren't bothering and decided to clear off. Or she isn't genuine. AW could have suspended her profile for all sorts of reasons, they often do this on a whim.

Sorry you had a wasted journey,might be best to keep things simple in future. I don't know how things are done in London but meeting in a place such as a railway station surely gives scope for either party to easily bail out, or perhaps that's the idea!

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From what you've described your lateness, to me, is totally plausible and forgivable. I've turned up late to appointments before because of traffic and travel issues, so would expect the same understanding. I don't mind clients being late, as long as they keep me informed of their expected time of arrival, which you did with the lady concerned here. It's odd that she didn't get back to you and has now removed her profile. Even a quick call or text to say she wished to cancel would've been better than leaving you not knowing.

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Yeah, I wouldn't even mind if she told me I'm a dick and never to contact her again, at least I'm clear about what is going on, but total silence and a suspended profile (which was active last night) leaves me very confused. I left the house this morning hoping to relieve some sexual frustration only to come back even more frustrated!

I see your point Strawberry, maybe it was a deliberate ploy. She had 11 feedbacks on her profile so seemed genuine, and I have been asked by a girl before to meet her at her nearest bus stop before going back to hers and that went fine, so her request didn't seem odd to me.

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I think that perhaps your error was not to keep her advised of the delays as they built up. However pulling down the profile seems a bit extreme. For a 2 hour meeting I would have thought that she could be a bit flexible as to the KO time.

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Personally think that's a little poor on the ladies part, had it happen to me (not recently) but it's a pain when it happens...best of luck on your next adventure!!!

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Silence is indeed the most painful form of communication. :(

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when a punter is a few minutes late the WG is usually in a rotten mood for the rest of the appointment and counts it towards your time. when a WG is a few minutes late we are just meant to accept it because we are seen as desperate.

always been the way and always will be unfortunately

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I was awfully late arriving at my chosen Ladies apartment recently :( First time with this particular Lady, so probably even worse :angry:

She was wonderfully sympathetic to an Old Man's inability to find her place, but not terribly good at giving directions either :unsure:

"Go past ------- pub and turn right" is fine if you're approaching said pub from the direction she thinks you are, but effing useless if you're coming from the other direction :wacko:

Probably half an hour late eventually, but in constant text / 'phone contact throughout that time. One of the best bodies :wub: it has ever been my pleasure to come across ( pun very much intended ;) ) so well worth paying for 90 mins for only an hour of the Lady's time, IMHO.

To be truthful, we hit it off rather well ( maybe because I had read her profile properly and fully and brought her things I knew she would like ( well FFS, it was her birthday ! )) and she was so generous with her time that I actually had more than the time I had paid for anyway, and missed my bus home as a result :wacko:

Who cares ? Well worth the taxi fare after having missed the last bus home, methinks :D

Edited by Big Bad John

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Is tricky. Having been caught out hanging about for people who never show it's easy to become cynical about clients. I try not to, but it's hard! Personally I give someone 15 minutes max after the start time to contact me. If they haven't then I will give up and do something else. She may easily have got creeped out by waiting- I know I get unnerved, sometimes when things don't go to plan you do start to worry you're being set up in some way!

However, i would have thought she would have got back to you when you did get in touch if it was only ten minutes after meeting time and she had headed back home even to say Sorry I couldn't wait any longer.

But, who knows in this case, the fact that she has gone AWOL totally might indicate something is amiss. Unless she contacts you again to explain we'll never know!

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She probably had another appointment and his being so late meant she could not see him and went straight into her next appointment. By the time that was over - who knows - she could have had another appointment and by then the will to text back was long gorn................................................................................................................

You win some you lose some, but it's tough when you have made an effort and not any of it your fault :)

*sympathises*

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Sorry to hear about your tale of woe, OP. :(

I was late to an appointment recently, but kept the lady concerned informed about my transport 'snafu'. Not only was she understanding and polite about it - she even stayed a good half hour after the allotted booking time was over to ensure I was completely happy. :)

There are some fantastically understanding and patient women out there - they do have to put up with the odd 'bit of a dick', so I wouldn't judge so harshly. ;)

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If someone appraises me of the delay BEFORE the meeting I have no problem. If I get a call a few minutes after then no bother. If Ihad heard nothing by 10mins I would have just gone off and done something different as in my experience they will be a no show.

In this case, two points. Waiting in a public place (well that is a no go for me but hey ho), and no call within 10mins, I would think that I was being set up and just being used a s a"spot the WG waiting ha ha". If I then had a call 10 mins AFTER and saying that you would be ANOTHER 20mins, I would think that this was a 2nd crack at "spot the WG dancing for us". And totally discount you as a TW.

If you had rung 30mins BEFORE the meeting saying you were likely to be running 15-30mins late then I would have gone and had a coffee and waited for you. Asking you describe yourself so I could "spot the punter" rather than being a dancing bear myself. If the man was legitimate they would be understand the need for this.

Moral of the story early communication.

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If someone doesnt arrive on time I give them a call. After all they are supposed to be alone with me by that time according to the plans we made. The reason being is that from experience a guy will not want to waste vital minutes pulling over and calling you if he is lost as this will make him even later and he might be in a bit of a stress simply because he is lost, therefore more likely to get more lost. I would rather a guy call and say OMG WHERE THE FECK IS YOUR PLACE than to just drive around and around trying not to be any later.

If I phone and the phone goes to vm then I will try again in about 10 minutes, no answer and I give up. If I call and the phone is turned off then I do the same.

What really does get my groat is when someone does tell me they are going to be say 15 minutes late and then is half an hour late. You don't want to give up on the appointment because they did the right thing in calling you to let you know they wil be late so you know they are doing their best but its annoying all the same. If you do have another appointment and tell them on the phone that their appointment will have to be shortened a bit they often say "oh I will cancel then, see you another day" which I dont feel is doing the right thing as you have then wasted god knows how much time getting ready, waiting and fielding off other bookings. Just come along for the shorter booking, its fairer imo. Yet if you wait for them to arrive and then say "I am sorry but you can only stay for 45 mins because....." then they are always happy with this and very apologetic. This I dont get, told in advance = a bit huffy, told when they arrive= understanding, apologies and niceness.

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Sometimes my client arrives late because of traffic. This can happen when it is late in the afternoon and he has not been to Leeds before - and then has to address the wonderful one way system ! Lots of times I have spent 'talking him in' and I sense the panic because he is coming late.

I stay cool and calm, and tell him not to worry. If I have someone coming afterwards I always allow enough time so that if something like this happens the first client still gets his allotted time, but I warn him that I will have to watch the clock a little more carefully now.

Life sucks at times, but if you manage your time with care you can cope with blips.

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Sometimes my client arrives late because of traffic. This can happen when it is late in the afternoon and he has not been to Leeds before - and then has to address the wonderful one way system ! Lots of times I have spent 'talking him in' and I sense the panic because he is coming late.

I stay cool and calm, and tell him not to worry. If I have someone coming afterwards I always allow enough time so that if something like this happens the first client still gets his allotted time, but I warn him that I will have to watch the clock a little more carefully now.

Life sucks at times, but if you manage your time with care you can cope with blips.

Yep leaving plenty of time inbetween allows for these things. What can be a problem is when a new client thinks he knows it takes x time to get to a location, when in reality it's actually a lot longer and doesn't plan accordingly. I'll be as helpful as I can, especially since I have good knowledge but this also relies on the guy telling me where he is actually setting off from, something some don't want me to know which I assume is because they think it might mean I can identify them or use that information in some way. I'm actually usually only wanting to help. I was due to meet someone in a bar, he'd assumed the 29 miles through the lakes would only take him, err, 30 minutes. I know that trip requires a good 50 minutes plus then he needed to find parking at the venue. I was sat there like a bit of a lemon wondering if I was part of some let's leave a WG hanging set-up. As it was the guy involved really wanted an extension, but in the meantime a regular had asked me for a booking later on so he was disappointed I could only see him for the shortest time mentioned when he initially booked.

Other times I've had a guy book for 1 hour, realise it was going to take him 2 hours not one to reach me twenty minutes before the booking time, but then say "Well you're available until 1 hour past the original booking time so it'll still be ok?".

I asked a friend of mine who works in another occupation but self-employed working via an appointments system how they work if say a client is late. They tell me they still only run to timetable, so if 15 minutes late they get their appointment time minus 15 minutes, if 1 hour plus late then they tell them the appointment is cancelled. To them it's a sign of commitment. I prefer to be a bit more flexible but if I don't hear from someone 15 minutes past their appointment time I like others turn the heating off, blow candles out and may well get changed. Occasionally someone has still turned up, I agreed to see them but explained I didn't have lipstick on or candles burning, fire on because I'd not heard from them for 30 plus minutes. Other times we've had to have a shortened appointment or not at all.

I know if I turned up 15 minutes late to a hair or nail or Drs appointment without notification then I'm almost definitely not going to get seen.

Regards the OP sounds like she was being a bit strict with you and to not be contactable, or give you an explaination even if it was "Look you were late, appointment cancelled" is not on at all.

Edited by Strawberry

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It depends on the circumstances and how late they are. I always give very precise directions and ask the guy on the phone to make sure he knows where he is coming to if I have not seen him before. Good communication is the key, if a guy keeps me posted I will happily see him if he is running a bit late. traffic and things happen. However I do have a half hour rule, if a guy is not keeping me up to date on the lateness then after half an hour I would be highly tempted to tell him to leave it.

I had a perfect example of this the other day, a guy rang the day before and i told him where I was and how to get to me, I mentioned I was near the bus station. He ummed and ahhhed and I suggested he have a look see on google maps etc and ring back if he needed further help. The next day he rang again and made an appointment said he knew where he was going. At around the appointment time he rang and after around 40 mins on and off of him insisting he was where I had told him and him talking over me and not listening it emerged he was in a completely different area, the other side of Leeds away from the bus station. I'm afraid I told him not to bother then. I had other appointments and he had completely frazzled me.

Try and be as prepared as you can, listen carefully and if needs be write down what the lady is saying and above all keep her posted if something is making you late, most ladies will do their best to accommodate for these things.

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I dont use public transport so drive to my punts always allowing a lot of extra time in case of the unexpected happening as it did when i ran my car battery down due to being early, i then hitch hiked and a guy gave me a lift for £20. I am usually half hour to an hour early.

I assume in this case the WG had you down as a timewaster and might of got or had another booking. A right bummer when you travel and it never happens though as i know myself.

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It helps to have a pen & paper handy so you can write down any directions when on the phone. I can just about remember "take the second on the right and the third on the left......................" Then I am lost again!

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Surely in this day and age. Isn't it easier for the lady to give her post code. Then just use sat nat or smart phone to find her residence. Simples

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Surely in this day and age. Isn't it easier for the lady to give her post code. Then just use sat nat or smart phone to find her residence. Simples

Some prefer to be non specific till they are sure that you are not a TW and that you are sufficiently close not to back out.

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There is an hotel at the top of my street. I use their postcode. It's as near as dammit :)

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Surely in this day and age. Isn't it easier for the lady to give her post code. Then just use sat nat or smart phone to find her residence. Simples

And have every nutjob in the vicinity collect our full address?Sadly there are alot of timewasters and no shows and more chillingly guys who think it is funny to send nasty letters or daub nasty things on front doors.While nothing is 100% safe in this industry we do what we can to protect ourselves including giving the postcode to a nearby landmark and directing them across from there.You have more chance of telling if he is genuine then.If in doubt I ask him to tell me what he can see around him...if I get er um er..normally a give away that hes actually sat at home having a shufties.

Edited by Bibi

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I obviously meant to the punter,and on your profile or ad

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