chris1000

Help - Does It Drive You Crazy Too?

32 posts in this topic

Can anyone help me out here. I’ve been doing this for about 5 years, had some amazing times, disappointing times and on one occasion was relieved of all the money on me by two men who appeared after the escort left!

My problem is this I’ve been seeing an escort as a regular for nearly three years now. I know the game, and if it wasn’t for all the other guys that see her she wouldn’t be around - economics.

For a while now I’ve falling in lust or something similar which has led to a kind of paranoia. To my surprise I’ve found myself wondering about her EVERY minute of every day. It’s torturous, and leads to a lot of hurt on a daily basis. These emotions are driving me nuts, I wonder about the other guys who see her, wondering what they are doing, what she’s doing, if she feels more for them, if they connect more and if I mean anything to her. Everytime I meet her I find myself trying to reach out and connect more. To be blunt it’s a major headfuck I have no control over.

Do any other guys feel or have felt this way. If so how do you deal with it? Do any other girls have thoughts on this and do you sense this with guys you see or have you felt the same?? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

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Can anyone help me out here. I’ve been doing this for about 5 years, had some amazing times, disappointing times and on one occasion was relieved of all the money on me by two men who appeared after the escort left!

My problem is this I’ve been seeing an escort as a regular for nearly three years now. I know the game, and if it wasn’t for all the other guys that see her she wouldn’t be around - economics.

For a while now I’ve falling in lust or something similar which has led to a kind of paranoia. To my surprise I’ve found myself wondering about her EVERY minute of every day. It’s torturous, and leads to a lot of hurt on a daily basis. These emotions are driving me nuts, I wonder about the other guys who see her, wondering what they are doing, what she’s doing, if she feels more for them, if they connect more and if I mean anything to her. Everytime I meet her I find myself trying to reach out and connect more. To be blunt it’s a major headfuck I have no control over.

Do any other guys feel or have felt this way. If so how do you deal with it? Do any other girls have thoughts on this and do you sense this with guys you see or have you felt the same?? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

Stop seeing her. Take a break. See other ladies. Have Fun. This is about having fun and it looks to me like you are not having any.. plus if she gets the vibe that you are becoming intense - she may block you and then it would be even worse for you.

I have been here many times, and binned the client for both our sakes - but mine mostly :)

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You should post in a larger font first but I guess you are on a mobile device.

You certainly are not the first guy to experience such thoughts.The perceived wisdom here is that you should refrain from seeing this lady for a couple of months and go to see another escort.

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Been there exactly. I decided I had to break the spell by seeing other girls, with widely varying characteristics, in the hope that would fix it.

It didn't, and in the end I just had to force myself to give her up completely.

That worked but it took about 4 years to take full effect.

Hard work, but it had to be done.

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Ask for freebies! That way you'll know her exact feelings for you.

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Ask for freebies! That way you'll know her exact feelings for you.

worth a go! then she prob will not see you if you persist winning either way?

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You should post in a larger font first but I guess you are on a mobile device.

You certainly are not the first guy to experience such thoughts.The perceived wisdom here is that you should refrain from seeing this lady for a couple of months and go to see another escort.

I was going to suggest a larger font. I always post with my iPhone and it just appears in the standard forum font. I suspect the OP wanted a different font and didn't notice it was smaller.

DG

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Chris love I'm going to tell you what happened to me and why I no longer work.

I met a client who appeared on the surface to be very nice (which I'm sure when in the right state of mind he is).

After a while our bookings became longer and longer, then sort of drifted into a relationship. I should have seen the danger signals but chose to ignore them because on the surface things seemed to be going very well. I was a working girl when he met me, he had no illusions about that and knew I intended to carry on. He would cheerfully make himself scarce when I was working and reappear afterwards saying nothing about me entertaining at all, so I wrongly assumed he was ok with it.

Then one day I was entertaining and I heard this funny beeping noise in the bedroom, I don't think the client heard it and after he left I went searching. Thats when I found a monitor on the top of the wardrobe. To say I was angry was an understatement, so I confronted him when he appeared later about it. He said he was sorry, shouldn't have done it but was intrigued as to what really happened in the bedroom when I was with other men, which was why he did it. He went on to say that he got turned on by it etc etc. I should have kicked him to touch then and there, but silly me as usual swallowed his story with a promise that it would never happen again.

That was the start of it, At no time did he tell me that he found what I was doing difficult, openly encouraged me to do it and seemed to support me when he could, he drove me to outcalls and waited around for me, he showered me with gifts and sort of put me on a pedistal for quite a long time.

Then things started to change, first my phone charger went missing, then I noticed that my toys were slowly starting to disappear as was underwear, things were not where I left them and so on. He would get very agressive when I questioned him about it. Then the sex between us started to change, he became more brutal and wanted to do things I wouldn't dream off, especially with the Anal.

Slowly but surely he started to cut me off from the rest of the world. I stopped seeing clients thinking that was the cause of it, only to have him start screaming at me for doing that, but on the other hand kept breaking my phone (he hadn't worked out I could still charge it on the computer). Then he started to threaten anyone that came near me one day but the next have me dressing up and dragging me off to some sex club insisting I entertained other men for him, threatening to hurt my kids and family if I didn't, yet when I did, afterwards he would snarl and scream at me all the way home.

I couldn't make head nor tale out of what was going on, did he want me to work or not work, did he want me to screw around or not screw around? One thing was for sure I was starting to get very frightened by him and very concerned for the safety of my family.

One night things came to a head. He raped me in a horrific way, by then I was completely his to do what he wanted with, he was so obsessed it was unreal. I was becoming really ill by this time and collapsed, he took me to hospital, all the way there I kept thinking 'this is it, i can get help'. No chance, he sat by my side brandeshing a flick knife everytime we were alone in the room. I knew I had to keep my mouth shut and just get on with it. So home I went to the nightly rapes and abuse. He only ever wanted Anal sex because apparently the clients didn't get that so it was special for him, he accused me of having men there when I didn't, accused me of having bareback sex which I hadn't, even producing my stockings and saying the evidence was on them, but by this time the only people that saw me in them were him and the men he was forcing me to perform with at the clubs in front of him.

For my family and friends safety I cut all ties with them (I was under no illusions, he would have carried out his threats), there was so much more that went on besides that I don't want to go into.

Eventually my kids became concerned about not being able to contact me so they sent the police around. The police found me bleeding and covered in bruises, he was arrested, but bailed and kept coming back. Three times in one day they removed him and on the third time had to keep him in custody because he had completely smashed up my home.

I was put into a safe house for the best part of two years as a result. During this time he started writing letters to anyone he could think of that was close to me and in these letters he said that he did love me but the obsession he had with what I was doing with other men had sent him over the edge, his reasoning for taking me to the clubs was that he thought I still needed the extra male attention but that way he could be there while I did it, he never once thought to ask me if that was the case, just assumed.

When the police searched my home after they took him away for evidence they found more sofisticated monitors, diaries that explained in horrific detail what he had done to me and wanted to do to me, home made torture equipment hidden in the back of the sheds (thank god he never got to use any of that on me) and more besides. Those close to him were shocked by all this and said it was completely out of character for him.

During the following two years he tried to out my working girlfriends, sent explicit stuff to my family, local papers etc and threatened older members of the family whilst at the same time sending begging letters to other friends trying to get them to find out where I was and talk me into having him back. His parania sent him completey over the edge and nearly destroyed me in the process.

I'm not for one minute suggesting that you are anything like this guy and I know what I described above is an extreme form of obsession, but it started from the point your at now and simply got horribly out of hand.

What you have described in your post sweetheart is an unhealthy obsession and the best thing you can possibly do is move on for both your sakes.

I can tell you for certain that your lady would be very alarmed if she knew how you were feeling.

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Holly, (not quoting due to the sheer length of your post),

I had NO idea what you've been through. I know this is all history and you've move on but I am sending you a big virtual hug. You always sound such a warm and lovely lady on the board and no woman should go through what you've been through.

DG x

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Thanks for the honesty Holly. It can't have been easy to write that in public but I trust that you will feel better for it.

Have a hug from me too :wub: Px

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Gosh Holly,

A frightening tale, such a terrible ordeal. You may have told this before but it is the first time I have heard you tell it.

So, a warning to the rest of us both working girls and punters. It is perfectly understandable to become infactuated with someone who you see often for intimate contact lets say but the way it can be expressed may not be healthy for either party and we should keep our feelings on a tight rein and persue our hobby for the relief we get and leave it there.

Chris, the advice we have all got prompted by your post had been consistant, so do all you can to follow it. Actually, make sure you follow it!

Time is a great healer, I had an infactuation with a wonderful woman two years into my marriage and sticking it out in my marriage, it took a couple of years to feel better about it, even then, seeing a green Renault 5, reawakened all the angst. Thank goodness they have all rotted away now (the cars), so no more pangs.

Find another or a few other women who can give you a good time and then return, if you must on a more even keel.

Good luck,

Timbo

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As others have said, if it's messing with your head about your lady seeing other guys and you can't stop thinking about her, then cut all ties. Things like this always start off small, and unless you have the sense to nip your thoughts/actions in the bud then it will control your life (and hers).

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Holly, we've never met but a big virtual hug from me too - I can't begin to imagine how it must have been for you. The fact that you're able to write about the horrifying experience so coherently is in itself a testament to your strength and resilience, and I hope that setting it down here was cathartic for you too.

Chris, I think it's all been said already. It does seem to me that you need to disengage completely from the entire situation. Not an easy thing to do, but the right thing all the same. Good luck to you.

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Actually what you are going through is not that much different to falling in love with, for example, a close colleague who is close by you day in day out but for whatever reason you cannot have a relationship with (I say this because I've just gone through this torture). The good news is she's a WG and you can, with the willpower, start seeing another girl, enjoy it and realise the pointlessness of your current feelings. Good luck

By the way, Holly, so very sorry to hear your story and hope that you are totally ok in your life now. You sound so good in your usual posts so I dearly trust that's the case

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.Sorry just editing out a double post. Not sure how it happened :-(

Edited by AnotherFrank

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Holly, you did all the right things to protect yourself and your family, its such a sad sad tale to hear what you went through, and yet hear you are advising others, that says what a strong character you are, and yet you still have the heart of an angel to help others, I can see why the guy was captivated by you, shame that he tried to keep you for himself in such a wicked way.

It s a lesson for all of us guys to watch out for any warning signs, and im going ot take a big reality check on myself after reading the post.

I guess the OP will do wise to reel himself in quite a bit after hearing that.

Edited by spklors

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What a terrible experience Holly. Really makes me sad that any human being would have to go through something like that :-(

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Thank you for your kind comments, all that is well behind me and I'm in a great place right now in my life, but I felt I should make it clear why I posted that. It wasn't for sympathy but the OP reminded me of something this guy said while he was being dragged away in handcuffs and something I've had a long time to mull over since.

His words were 'You can't blame me, you have the power to make men fall in love with you and make them do crazy things' and I have to come to the conclusion he was right.

I don't mean that in an arrogant way but I'm sure I was partly to blame because thats exactly what I did. I, like many other working ladies have spent years being paid to not only make love to a mans body but also his mind. So after so many years of doing it and fine tuning those skills, these days I do it without even thinking about it or knowing that I do it. I always seem to know exactly what buttons to press or how to make each and every man in my presence feel special and good about themselves and that carries over into my private life too and I'm pretty sure that most other working girls have this in them as well, definately those that have worked for a while.

I guess the point I'm trying to get across is its hardly surprising men get caught in our traps and its not always their fault (or ours if it comes to that) and we all have to be careful we don't get carried away with it.

Edited by Holly Maddison

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Can anyone help me out here. I’ve been doing this for about 5 years, had some amazing times, disappointing times and on one occasion was relieved of all the money on me by two men who appeared after the escort left!

My problem is this I’ve been seeing an escort as a regular for nearly three years now. I know the game, and if it wasn’t for all the other guys that see her she wouldn’t be around - economics.

For a while now I’ve falling in lust or something similar which has led to a kind of paranoia. To my surprise I’ve found myself wondering about her EVERY minute of every day. It’s torturous, and leads to a lot of hurt on a daily basis. These emotions are driving me nuts, I wonder about the other guys who see her, wondering what they are doing, what she’s doing, if she feels more for them, if they connect more and if I mean anything to her. Everytime I meet her I find myself trying to reach out and connect more. To be blunt it’s a major headfuck I have no control over.

Do any other guys feel or have felt this way. If so how do you deal with it? Do any other girls have thoughts on this and do you sense this with guys you see or have you felt the same?? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

am in the same predicament ,, have found another lady does what i want and and is exceptionally nice , and I am on the mend so to speak , at the time it made me ill , and i fully understand what you are going through, bite the bullet, and as others have said stop now, and move on otherwise you will do something you will regret

Edited by littleone1940

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His words were 'You can't blame me, you have the power to make men fall in love with you and make them do crazy things' and I have to come to the conclusion he was right.

Totally disagree with this Holly. The guy you described behaved like a right cunt over a prolonged period. Falling in love does not make you into a right cunt. You have to be one to start off with, no matter how well you hide it. Anyone who behaves like that is utter scum and deserves locking up, i.e. a right cunt !!

You my dear deserve another hug though. Sadly virtual, but it's the best I can offer. So glad you are in a good place now x.

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Totally disagree with this Holly. The guy you described behaved like a right cunt over a prolonged period. Falling in love does not make you into a right cunt. You have to be one to start off with, no matter how well you hide it. Anyone who behaves like that is utter scum and deserves locking up, i.e. a right cunt !!

You my dear deserve another hug though. Sadly virtual, but it's the best I can offer. So glad you are in a good place now x.

kantos i am with you on this!

no one made him do those things but him

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Can anyone help me out here. I’ve been doing this for about 5 years, had some amazing times, disappointing times and on one occasion was relieved of all the money on me by two men who appeared after the escort left!

My problem is this I’ve been seeing an escort as a regular for nearly three years now. I know the game, and if it wasn’t for all the other guys that see her she wouldn’t be around - economics.

For a while now I’ve falling in lust or something similar which has led to a kind of paranoia. To my surprise I’ve found myself wondering about her EVERY minute of every day. It’s torturous, and leads to a lot of hurt on a daily basis. These emotions are driving me nuts, I wonder about the other guys who see her, wondering what they are doing, what she’s doing, if she feels more for them, if they connect more and if I mean anything to her. Everytime I meet her I find myself trying to reach out and connect more. To be blunt it’s a major headfuck I have no control over.

Do any other guys feel or have felt this way. If so how do you deal with it? Do any other girls have thoughts on this and do you sense this with guys you see or have you felt the same?? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

Been there and this isn't healthy at all. Needed to be told many times 'put her out of your head' before I was able to myself. I stupidly thought there were clear/very strong clues indicating she fancied me, was on cloud nine but I was mistaken. I wish I'd moved on earlier. I hope you'll be able to do so as well.

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Totally disagree with this Holly. The guy you described behaved like a right cunt over a prolonged period. Falling in love does not make you into a right cunt. You have to be one to start off with, no matter how well you hide it. Anyone who behaves like that is utter scum and deserves locking up, i.e. a right cunt !!

You my dear deserve another hug though. Sadly virtual, but it's the best I can offer. So glad you are in a good place now x.

He is not the first and he wont be the last, weve all lusted after someone over time

Edited by littleone1940

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I might add I will be not sticking to one in the future,

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Totally disagree with this Holly. The guy you described behaved like a right cunt over a prolonged period. Falling in love does not make you into a right cunt. You have to be one to start off with, no matter how well you hide it. Anyone who behaves like that is utter scum and deserves locking up, i.e. a right cunt !!

You my dear deserve another hug though. Sadly virtual, but it's the best I can offer. So glad you are in a good place now x.

Lol I won't quote your lovely choice of words, but agree he is a something not so nice, but now I'm starting to pity him because he is also ill (has to be to do that), others here have mentioned that being in that position has made them ill, maybe not quite in the same way, but ill nonetheless. Thats what happens when the lines get crossed or blurred and fantasy gets mixed up with reality, people get hurt and or sick.

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