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Burty

What To Do?

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Hi to everyone, a bit odd for a first contribution but here goes.....

Sorry for the long post!

I am new to this and already have a bit of a dilemma....

My second punt (just before Christmas) went very well, pretty girl, mid 20's (I'm erm a bit older....) and a relative newcomer herself. i don't want to give too many details out for reasons I hope you understand...

At the end of the time (it was an outcall - she came to my hotel), she was in no rush to get away and we were having a little chat. She only escorts to make extra money occasionally and has another vocation. What surprised me is how openly she spoke about her 'other life'. She said she doesn't reveal her face in profile pics as it wouldn't exactly do her other career any good, and obviously she uses a false name for escorting. To be honest I took most of what she said with a pinch of salt, thinking too much info, she's making this stuff up! She also said she did a bit of modelling under her real name.

We said our goodbyes, and said we would meet up when she was next in the area. No idea why I did it, and I'm sorry I did, but based on what she told me, I typed 5 words into Google, and hey presto up came her modelling pics, facebook info, career details, real name, the lot. I was shocked to say the least.

She said how bad it would be for her if anyone found out about her escorting, yet all that info was so easily obtainable. I'm a decent guy and would never dream of doing anything with this info, in fact I'll never even look at it again as to be honest I don't want to know. Not everyone is like me, however.

So, do I tell her as a warning to watch herself, or keep my mouth shut as it's none of my business? I'd like to see her again, as to be honest had a great time with her. If I tell her it might creep her out and think I'm trying to blackmail her, which I wouldn't do. If I don't say anything, someone with less scruples could cause her serious problems - and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Also, unless she was really good and discreet, she seemed to have absolutely no security contact with anyone. She arrived and left alone on public transport, so had no driver either. Not what I was expecting at all, it made me fear for her safety to be honest

What to do? Go easy on me, lol!

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Sounds like you are concerned enough about her situation to go ahead and warn her but maybe you can find a way of doing it without owning up to doing the actual Google thing? Maybe suggest that she's giving too much private info and that someone could google a few details and find her, perhaps hint the actual words you used? Or maybe make that second booking and show her how to search online tactfully? She sounds like she would be genuinely grateful and your chances of a repeat meeting not harmed

Good luck hope whatever you do works out

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Thanks for the reply AnotherFrank.

Maybe the google demo thing would be the way to go, if I get her to do the google search, and I'm not looking over her shoulder..... I mean the 1st thing that came up was one of her photos with her name on it!

I feared posting this as it almost makes me sound like some kind of stalker (which I'm really not), I actually did the google thing hoping nothing would show, but fearing it would. I'd have been far happier had her tale been fabricated!

As I said I have little punting experience, but surely it isn't usual for a SP or client to exchange such personal info so readily, especially on a first meeting? I know we had communicated via email and a phone call, but I could have been a raging psycho for all she knew!

Same with the security thing, I took it as a given that she would have something in place, and was expecting it. A 5'2" girl probably 7 stone wet through meeting a 6'2" 15 stone stranger in a place she hadn't been to before again seems incredibly naive to me. She came across as intelligent and articulate and had a University education so she clearly isn't stupid - maybe a bit too trusting?

Maybe I'm just over thinking it, but I come from a security related background, so can't help it, lol. The whole thing freaked me out a bit.....especially when you read some of the alerts posted about dangerous punters...

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Or maybe make that second booking and show her how to search online tactfully? She sounds like she would be genuinely grateful and your chances of a repeat meeting not harmed

 

I agree with this. One of the things that comes across from what you report is how well you both got on together. You are concerned about how naive she's been with giving away her personal details and about any lack of security arrangements. You want to see her again, and like Frank says this would be a good opportunity to show her how easy it is to track down her real self online. Given the good rapport you've established together, I'm sure that she would receive your concern gratefully

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When I first started I was incredible naïve and luckily my best friend took me task and pointed out the dangers in no uncertain terms when he realised how many risks I was taking with my personal safety. Up to that point in my personal life the men I had dealings with were all kind and considerate like yourself so I was very blasé about it and really had no idea how dangerous this job is or how bad some men could be.

I think I would have welcomed some kind input from a caring client and can't see why she would get upset at you caring. Why not give her the heads up about Saafe (maybe you could drop it into a conversation) and talk about the buddy scheme etc, I wouldn't tell her that you have already googled her though.

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Email her and tell her what you have told us. It might freak her out, but better that she realise that she does have to be more careful. If she said herself how awful it would be if she got discovered then I think it would be the right thing to do. I think most escorts have experienced something in the early days that causes them to panic and kick themselves how daft they have been,it's a leaning curve and she would be lucky to have a kind man point out her errors than end up being stalked or outed. If she is angry with you and never wants to see you again it'll be a shame but at least your conscience will be clear. 

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I've googled the names of girls with profile pics oscured and also found full face pics and other details quite easily, so I don't think it's too unusual either for the girl to have overlooked the risk, or for you to have uncovered it, so you don't need to feel it is creepy.

 

If you like her then see her again.  You can raise the issue of your google search once the punt is underway once the rapport is re-established.

 

Be aware however, that sometimes that rapport can be a one off and second punts can be less than you may have hoped for, so don't rush in to acting like you can be her best friend and mentor until you feel that you are both clicking on that second punt.

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I wouldn't wait for another punt.  When I first started I had a few things pointed out to me and I was very grateful and I also very much appreciated that they cared enough to tell me considering they didn't really know me.  It makes you realise that you are dealing with decent men at the same time as reminding you not all are like that.

 

No need to go into details, but most certainly get her to google some key words and I'm sure in the future she will take greater care with how much she divulges.

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I think Lydia has it right. Tell her what you know in a friendly e-mail. That way she knows at the earliest opportunity, and before too much more potential damage is done.

 

Towards the end of the mail you could float the idea of a repeat booking, if you would like to see her again (but stress it would have to be on the same terms as your first meeting i e you are not seeking a freebie).

 

She then as the choice

1  to amend her details,

2  ensure that she doesn't give so much info away on her next booking

3  has a ready made future booking with a guy she seems to like

4  She can go off in a huff (which I hope would be unlikely)

 

Good luck to you both.

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When I first started I was incredible naïve and luckily my best friend took me task and pointed out the dangers in no uncertain terms when he realised how many risks I was taking with my personal safety. Up to that point in my personal life the men I had dealings with were all kind and considerate like yourself so I was very blasé about it and really had no idea how dangerous this job is or how bad some men could be.

I think I would have welcomed some kind input from a caring client and can't see why she would get upset at you caring. Why not give her the heads up about Saafe (maybe you could drop it into a conversation) and talk about the buddy scheme etc, I wouldn't tell her that you have already googled her though.

Agreed (including not mentioning your Google: ask her to try it herself?)....and I also go along with the view expressed elsewhere that it's better not to wait. I've sometimes felt that I ought to mention things like basic security, discretion, and SAAFE. The reaction has never yet been adverse, and doing it helped my conscience.

Edited by pabulum

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Thanks for the replies, it's good to see opinions from both sides :)

Apologies if this ends up as one large block of text like the last post, but it was formatted into paragraphs when I sent it :)

She is now away in her 'other life' and won't be back for several weeks, and only escorts when back home. I think emailing in those circumstances (while away) may cause unnecessary distress, and I'd rather do it face to face. Plus she hasn't logged on to her account since the day she said she was leaving. She said she contacts her 'regulars' when she gets back, so it's not like she will be making bookings until she returns. If she doesn't make contact with me, but I see she has updated her profile, then I'll reconsider emailing. She said she wanted to just see a few regulars, but then she did see me, who has no previous history or feedback. Maybe she has a good 6th sense when reading emails :)

Subject to what happens, I'll book with her, and tell her at the start of the punt. If she is ok with it, great, if not we can come to an arrangement and call it quits. I'd rather not have the punt and get this off my chest, lol.

Thurson, I did think of the possibility that a 2nd meeting may not live up to expectations, so will see how it goes. At least I figure I'll be a bit calmer having seen her before :) I certainly have no desire to become best friends, and don't feel qualifed for mentoring when she has more experience than me in escorting! If nothing else due to my age and background I have a bit more life experience in certain matters, and my only concern is that she could potentially compromise her personal life, and even worse, her safety.

I'd rather just be visiting her as a client and leaving it at that.....I only started punting for some no strings sex! :) Trust me for this to happen.....

Thanks again for the replies, some great advice here, and much appreciated. Maybe I'll report back how it goes in a few weeks :)

Burty

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Email her and tell her what you have told us. It might freak her out, but better that she realise that she does have to be more careful. If she said herself how awful it would be if she got discovered then I think it would be the right thing to do. I think most escorts have experienced something in the early days that causes them to panic and kick themselves how daft they have been,it's a leaning curve and she would be lucky to have a kind man point out her errors than end up being stalked or outed. If she is angry with you and never wants to see you again it'll be a shame but at least your conscience will be clear. 

Or perhaps email her and point this thread out x

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Could I perhaps suggest that you prepare should there be an adverse reaction. There are more than one possible results of you trying to be helpful and one of them is that she thinks you are sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong.

I have usually been much older than the ladies that I have visited and have had more experiences in "some" avenues of life. I find that if I have got on, in my opinion, very well with a lady there can be a temptation to try and "help" by giving her "advice" which I think would be helpful to her. Unfortunately the beneficiary of that "advice" doesn't always see it that way and their response can be quite brusque. It may well be that after I have left that they think back on it and perhaps wish that they had phrased their response better but by then it's too late. Obviously I sometimes think the same thing and it doesn't just apply to conversations about this profession. We all say things at times that we wish we could erase.

You apparently have the luxury of several weeks to consider exactly how to approach this young lady. I would suggest that you go over the different ways you can raise the matter; what different responses you might get; and how you would deal with them. I'm not suggesting you should "overthink" the matter just be as prepared as you possibly can be.

I speak from experience when I say that the mildest of suggestions can be taken as criticism. The more "independently minded" the person is the more likely that they will regard advice as criticism no matter how it is worded.

Please be careful as you obviously like this young lady and do yourself appear to be one of the good guys.

Edited by gibbs

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Thanks gibbs, the thought had crossed my mind. Which is why I'd rather do it face to face than get involved in a war of emails!

She did say she was thinking of putting face pics in her private gallery and charging more, and agreed when I told her it may not be the best idea, given her circumstances - so it seems she is open to taking advice.

If she goes off on one, then I'll pay her for her time and leave. It would be disappointing, but I'd have said my piece. No-one can force anyone to take advice, and whether she takes notice or not is up to her - at least I'll feel like I tried.

If she leaves me crappy feedback or whatever as a result, then so be it. I'm a big lad, I can take it, lol.

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Thanks gibbs, the thought had crossed my mind. Which is why I'd rather do it face to face than get involved in a war of emails!

She did say she was thinking of putting face pics in her private gallery and charging more, and agreed when I told her it may not be the best idea, given her circumstances - so it seems she is open to taking advice.

If she goes off on one, then I'll pay her for her time and leave. It would be disappointing, but I'd have said my piece. No-one can force anyone to take advice, and whether she takes notice or not is up to her - at least I'll feel like I tried.

If she leaves me crappy feedback or whatever as a result, then so be it. I'm a big lad, I can take it, lol.

 As the information that led you to her on google was given verbally and not on her profile, then I think you are relatively safe in the knowledge she is not likely to blurt it all out to another client while she is not actively working.  I do think the subject matter is the difference here though.  You are safe guarding her security and reputation.  It is hard to believe it could be met negatively.  I wouldn't worry about that too much.

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Hi to everyone, a bit odd for a first contribution but here goes.....

Sorry for the long post!

I am new to this and already have a bit of a dilemma....

My second punt (just before Christmas) went very well, pretty girl, mid 20's (I'm erm a bit older....) and a relative newcomer herself. i don't want to give too many details out for reasons I hope you understand...

At the end of the time (it was an outcall - she came to my hotel), she was in no rush to get away and we were having a little chat. She only escorts to make extra money occasionally and has another vocation. What surprised me is how openly she spoke about her 'other life'. She said she doesn't reveal her face in profile pics as it wouldn't exactly do her other career any good, and obviously she uses a false name for escorting. To be honest I took most of what she said with a pinch of salt, thinking too much info, she's making this stuff up! She also said she did a bit of modelling under her real name.

We said our goodbyes, and said we would meet up when she was next in the area. No idea why I did it, and I'm sorry I did, but based on what she told me, I typed 5 words into Google, and hey presto up came her modelling pics, facebook info, career details, real name, the lot. I was shocked to say the least.

She said how bad it would be for her if anyone found out about her escorting, yet all that info was so easily obtainable. I'm a decent guy and would never dream of doing anything with this info, in fact I'll never even look at it again as to be honest I don't want to know. Not everyone is like me, however.

So, do I tell her as a warning to watch herself, or keep my mouth shut as it's none of my business? I'd like to see her again, as to be honest had a great time with her. If I tell her it might creep her out and think I'm trying to blackmail her, which I wouldn't do. If I don't say anything, someone with less scruples could cause her serious problems - and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Also, unless she was really good and discreet, she seemed to have absolutely no security contact with anyone. She arrived and left alone on public transport, so had no driver either. Not what I was expecting at all, it made me fear for her safety to be honest

What to do? Go easy on me, lol!

 

 

Sounds familiar, the information offering even when i havent asked, some WGs are simply clueless about this. I would mention it to her and hopefully she will understand you are trying to advise her, however she may think otherwise so be prepared for her to take it badly.

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Maybe I should leave saying anything until the end of the punt then.

1. She'll know I wasn't trying to blackmail her, as she'll have been paid.

2. I'll have got to have a couple of hours of sex first :) :)

Downside, now I can't show her this thread, lol.

From a couple of comments, seems it might be a bit more common than I thought. I'm surprised by that, I must say.

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Maybe I should leave saying anything until the end of the punt then.

1. She'll know I wasn't trying to blackmail her, as she'll have been paid.

2. I'll have got to have a couple of hours of sex first :) :)

Downside, now I can't show her this thread, lol.

From a couple of comments, seems it might be a bit more common than I thought. I'm surprised by that, I must say.

Why? Many young girls come into this blinkered and looking through rose coloured glasses, all they can see is the easy money and glamorous lifestyle it can afford, (believe me if she is in the modelling business it will be no different for her there). She will wise up eventually, but you are right by then she may have fallen foul of someone not as nice as you. Just tell her honey. You won't believe the amount of advice I've had off punters over the years, most of which I have been very grateful for.

All you have to do is say that you see a few girls (that will stop her thinking your trying to get too close to her) and you noticed that they are a lot more careful with the personal information they divulge for safety reasons and that's its bothered you that she did it with you.

I'm a great believer in honesty and always have been, just point her in the direction of Saafe, that's all you have to do, the girls there will do the rest.

Edited by Holly Maddison

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Cheers Holly, yes I will definitely be mentioning something, one way or the other - and I'll mention Saafe to her. I too believe in honesty, and if she asked me if I saw her personal info I would have to say yes as I'm a crap liar - and she'd be able to tell by my face, lol.

Even so, I still think face to face is the better option, whichever way it goes.

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When I first started escorting (well working in a hostess club) I used my real name and told people everything about me. I think it was a mixture of naivety and nerves. I think a little chat would help her tons.

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Be a gentleman and let her know how easy it was for you to find her details.If she takes it the wrong way at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing.

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Be a gentleman and let her know how easy it was for you to find her details.If she takes it the wrong way at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing.

+1

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I met an escort, new to the experience, and was concerned that her identity was easily discoverable from a mix of her photos, what and where she was studying (from conversations). It could have made her career difficult in some eyes, the suggestions to make herself more mysterious were passed on by a more experienced and wordily wise escort, relief I think all round.

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Just to update, we met up again tonight for the first time since I posted this, and told her my concerns.

She was horrified at how easy it would be to get her info. She took it very well, actually, and thanked me for letting her know.

Had a great punt as well afterwards.

Thanks to everyone for their comments and advice :)

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Hi to everyone, a bit odd for a first contribution but here goes.....

Sorry for the long post!

I am new to this and already have a bit of a dilemma....

My second punt (just before Christmas) went very well, pretty girl, mid 20's (I'm erm a bit older....) and a relative newcomer herself. i don't want to give too many details out for reasons I hope you understand...

At the end of the time (it was an outcall - she came to my hotel), she was in no rush to get away and we were having a little chat. She only escorts to make extra money occasionally and has another vocation. What surprised me is how openly she spoke about her 'other life'. She said she doesn't reveal her face in profile pics as it wouldn't exactly do her other career any good, and obviously she uses a false name for escorting. To be honest I took most of what she said with a pinch of salt, thinking too much info, she's making this stuff up! She also said she did a bit of modelling under her real name.

We said our goodbyes, and said we would meet up when she was next in the area. No idea why I did it, and I'm sorry I did, but based on what she told me, I typed 5 words into Google, and hey presto up came her modelling pics, facebook info, career details, real name, the lot. I was shocked to say the least.

She said how bad it would be for her if anyone found out about her escorting, yet all that info was so easily obtainable. I'm a decent guy and would never dream of doing anything with this info, in fact I'll never even look at it again as to be honest I don't want to know. Not everyone is like me, however.

So, do I tell her as a warning to watch herself, or keep my mouth shut as it's none of my business? I'd like to see her again, as to be honest had a great time with her. If I tell her it might creep her out and think I'm trying to blackmail her, which I wouldn't do. If I don't say anything, someone with less scruples could cause her serious problems - and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Also, unless she was really good and discreet, she seemed to have absolutely no security contact with anyone. She arrived and left alone on public transport, so had no driver either. Not what I was expecting at all, it made me fear for her safety to be honest

What to do? Go easy on me, lol!

 

 

Tell her. 

It's none of your business. True. But you won't be crossing a personal boundary by just warning her. 

 

It may be none of my neighbour's business, but I would appreciate it a lot if he let me know that I have left my house door wide open this morning. 

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