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MrIncognito

Being Assertive

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I've had about 6 punts over the past couple of years mostly good and a few bad ones. The good ones have been where the Wg has taken the lead at the start of the punt and after that everything has flowed. But obviously sometimes you get Wg that what's the punter to take the lead.

So I was just looking for advice on how to be assertive during a punt without coming across as rude or demanding.

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Suggest a role - play and allow yourself to take the lead in this scenario, it is not seen as rude or demanding to suggest to the escort that you might want to try something, explain it to her and see what reaction you get.

 

Ask her to wear a uniform or certain style of clothing if you like, and the escort will assume you are trying to take some form of control. but its a two way thing.

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Suggest a role - play and allow yourself to take the lead in this scenario, it is not seen as rude or demanding to suggest to the escort that you might want to try something, explain it to her and see what reaction you get.

 

Ask her to wear a uniform or certain style of clothing if you like, and the escort will assume you are trying to take some form of control. but its a two way thing.

 

 

This is a good idea but also bear in mind that many WGs only do roleplay in hour long bookings and only take requests for what to wear on bookings of one hour too.  But if you are going for an hour or two hour booking then there shouldnt be a problem.

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Most of the girls I have seen start by asking me to take my clothes off and get on bed for a massage - or something similar. I then say "do you mind if we do this" - and sit her on my knee and take the lead.

The reason your best ones have been where the woman has been assertive and showed the way - is that when you are both subs - the girl in particular may well be happy to while away the time chatting and nothing much will happen. As you are paying I would suggest you be assertive and don't be afraid to do it. Women prefer it that way more or less across the board.

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Suggest a role - play and allow yourself to take the lead in this scenario, it is not seen as rude or demanding to suggest to the escort that you might want to try something, explain it to her and see what reaction you get.

 

Ask her to wear a uniform or certain style of clothing if you like, and the escort will assume you are trying to take some form of control. but its a two way thing.

 

Some girls however do not do role plays. I generally do not.. It is down to the girl at the end of the day and I generally take the lead but if the client wants to obviously take the lead, that is fine and I will go along with it as long as I am comfortable.

To the original poster, if you do see a girl who is not so encouraging in taking the lead, just say what you would like to happen. We are used to it and it certainly does not come across as rude unless you say it in a rude manner.

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it's hard to know sometimes. If a man has booked more than an hour he may want a longer part of the session as a good old chat. Some men prefer to get to know a girl first and genuinely do want the time and company thing as much as the shagging part. Therefore sometimes I might be slower to take the initiative than i could be, because I'd hate the guy to think I was rushing him to the bedroom to 'get it over and done with'! I learned from here that it is a common complaint from clients- the girl rushing the booking thinking he'll go away once he has come. 

 

if a gent is explicit in his instructions (as in specific not filthy!) and says he wants to spend most of the time in the bedroom or that he wants me to seduce him/lead the way be assertive it is so much easier. 

 

Therefore, all you need to do is be open and honest about what you want in advance of the booking then she should do as you wish.

I also think if you feel the booking is not moving on as you hope you should say 'Lets go to the bedroom' or 'lets get naked' or make a move to kiss her/touch her- It is what you are there for after all! Any WG worth her salt will take it from there! 

 

If you mean assertive in a more rough dominant way then you need to discuss that in advance or use some of the start of the appointment to chat to her and have her feel confident with you. If she knows you're a nice guy and is happy to be treated assertively then it'll work. There is a whole big difference between a man I have just met calling me a dirty bitch and telling me he wants to fuck me now (slightly scared) to a client I know is lovely saying exactly the same (instant knicker wetter),

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The first time that I have seen any lady they have always taken the initiative which, apart from being very nice, is as it should be in my opinion. If you return a second or third time etc then I think you have to be careful that because you do not become "assertive" (and I use the word in it's mildest context)the lady believes that you are quite happy to allow the meeting to meander along until time is up.

I think that that is what happened the last time I went to see a particular lady that I've seen on more than one occasion. I do enjoy her company but the visit did tend to meander along, and I accept responsibility for that, and I was amazed when she started to wind the session up. The time had passed much quicker than I had realised and I felt that nothing had been accomplished.

I would never dream of mentioning it to the lady but did feel less than satisfied when I left, but as I say I accept responsibility, and should I return to visit her again I will definitely be more "assertive" otherwise it will be pointless.

I appreciate that the ladies are not mind readers and that it's not possible to be at 100% for every client if you have a busy day or just feeling a little "out of sorts" that particular day. Also if the client has a tendency to be chatty like me it can be misinterpreted but at the end of the day most clients are there mainly for one thing and I would have thought that it was not being presumptious to expect that the lady would make every reasonable effort to make sure that the client's needs were met.

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I've had about 6 punts over the past couple of years mostly good and a few bad ones. The good ones have been where the Wg has taken the lead at the start of the punt and after that everything has flowed. But obviously sometimes you get Wg that what's the punter to take the lead.

So I was just looking for advice on how to be assertive during a punt without coming across as rude or demanding.

 

Pull yourself together!*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Sorry, couldn't resist it. :D :D  Good luck. :)

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I appreciate that the ladies are not mind readers and that it's not possible to be at 100% for every client if you have a busy day or just feeling a little "out of sorts" that particular day. Also if the client has a tendency to be chatty like me it can be misinterpreted but at the end of the day most clients are there mainly for one thing and I would have thought that it was not being presumptious to expect that the lady would make every reasonable effort to make sure that the client's needs were met.

 

Yes, that one thing is usually an orgasm, but as you say we are not mind readers so we need to know what way a man wants to get there and where!

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Most of the girls I have seen start by asking me to take my clothes off and get on bed for a massage - or something similar. 

 

 

Really?

That has amazed me to be honest.

Is that in a parlour or what?

 

Lucy  :)

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As punters we have to realise the girl is trying to run the session the way the punter wants, mostly. Some guys like a long chat before getting down to the action. If you're ready to move on, I always find moving in to kiss her does the job.

On very rare occasions I've felt the girl was deliberately trying to delay actually getting into bed as long as she could (and obviously i wouldnt go back to them!). Most girls have no problem getting on with it as soon as you want.

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I am neither submissive nor dominant but I always gently control the punts, because I have to for my own safety, and peace of mind.

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I can't imagine a scenario where I am just waiting for the client to take the lead? Surely that is what we're paid for unless the client is very confident and moves in straight away.  I know the client is into me, because he chose me.  I'm not going to make him guess as to if I'm interested in him or not and we both know why we are together, so lets get the ball rolling!

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Its horses for courses, sometimes things trigger something in a booking and without knowing it beforehand, you might want to try it.

 

Some escorts have a way of spending the hour with a customer, and its not always what the client wants.

 

When you walk into a parliour, you get asked if you want a massage usually, and the parlour worker will go into a well practised routine.

 

There is nothing wrong with talking to the escort about what you want from the booking, and you are allowed to change your mind midway through.

 

Be creative, and explore your feelings, even if its just vanilla sex you want tell the escort that.

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I suggest you go into the punt with the right mindset.  Sometimes, you can go into the punt thinking too much about what you want to say, rather than what you want to do.  Saying things just isn't as sexy as doing things.

 

Have your mind on what you want to do, and your body will guide you to the assertive actions you are looking for.  The more you let your sexual instincts take over, the more passionate and fulfilling you may find the punt becomes.

 

Recent extract from an initial conversation with a WG after the hello, paperwork and shower:

 

W.G. 'How do you want to do this?'

 

Me: 'I don't care' (moving in).

 

W.G. 'Great, neither do I.'

 

Short, sweet and set things up nicely.

 

Leave the chit chat until you are satiated.

 

That's my experience anyway, and I seem to come away from my punts these days very satisfied with the outcome on a much more regular basis than when I settled for the let's get to know each other and be friends before we get started nonsense.  I also think this works well for the girls.  It's easier for them to stick at what they do best rather than guess how to please you in the conversation department.

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<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Gav Lee" data-cid="475165" data-time="1357667314"><p>

As punters we have to realise the girl is trying to run the session the way the punter wants, mostly. Some guys like a long chat before getting down to the action. If you're ready to move on, I always find moving in to kiss her does the job.<br />

<br />

On very rare occasions I've felt the girl was deliberately trying to delay actually getting into bed as long as she could (and obviously i wouldnt go back to them!). Most girls have no problem getting on with it as soon as you want.</p></blockquote>

This is why when I am on a punt, after the initial introductions, I don't talk much until I have done what I went there to do and if there is time left we can have a post punt chat and I always decline offers of a massage at the start of a booking as at most times its a time-wasting tactic.

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<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Gav Lee" data-cid="475165" data-time="1357667314"><p>

As punters we have to realise the girl is trying to run the session the way the punter wants, mostly. Some guys like a long chat before getting down to the action. If you're ready to move on, I always find moving in to kiss her does the job.<br />

<br />

On very rare occasions I've felt the girl was deliberately trying to delay actually getting into bed as long as she could (and obviously i wouldnt go back to them!). Most girls have no problem getting on with it as soon as you want.</p></blockquote>

This is why when I am on a punt, after the initial introductions, I don't talk much until I have done what I went there to do and if there is time left we can have a post punt chat and I always decline offers of a massage at the start of a booking as at most times its a time-wasting tactic.

 

Massages mostly happen at half time if at all with me, or some times at the very end, but then I have to be careful with them snoring.  :)

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It is about knowing what you want and knowing the routes to accomplish it. You can take that advice not generally but in any other aspects of life. Most women that I have been with were submissive and preferred the man to take the lead. As a man you should  take the lead and let the woman follow you by example. In a punt I am always taking the lead and leading the girl into the right physical and emotional states that I want her in - Just like I do with girls I am dating. This makes a really exciting punt that is full of sexual energy for the both of us. 

 

As an example - If you want OWO then simply ask the girl before money exchanges hands ' You are still fine with OWO since it is on your list of enjoys?  Don't be a pussy and be a man. Be assertive and be dominant yet respectful and attractive. Not in a psychopathic controlling way but in a sexy way instead. You want to be polite and respectful but a firmly rooted tree that is grounded to the bottom of the universe and knows exactly what he wants out of the punt.

 

I guess it just goes back to the basic characteristics of life in knowing what you want and having the confidence to speak up. 

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Really?

That has amazed me to be honest.

Is that in a parlour or what?

 

Lucy  :)

No - independants. I say most - it's about 50/50. I tend to decline a massage as it's never much good and I usually turn over after a minute and say thanks. Except once - when the girl had a mindblowing touch.

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Yes, that one thing is usually an orgasm, but as you say we are not mind readers so we need to know what way a man wants to get there and where!

 

So speaketh Lydia the wise :)

 

The best piece of advice I recieved from an SP, after a previous appointment where a bit too much chat had taken place:

 

'Come along as a different character next time, and email me suggestions beforehand - I'm up for anything!'

 

I did, and she was.. :)

 

Good communication is a must.

 

Be respectful, ask nicely and you shall be rewarded  ;)

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Thanks for the replies and the advice, the trouble is I'm quite shy when I first meet people so I sometimes find it hard to ask for what I want, but I guess if you don't ask then you won't get.

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Thanks for the replies and the advice, the trouble is I'm quite shy when I first meet people so I sometimes find it hard to ask for what I want, but I guess if you don't ask then you won't get.

Have you tried putting it in writing? Then typing it and e-mailing it to the lady? The best that can happen is you have a great time. The worst that can happen is she says no but then you've saved your money. And your time and the lady's time.

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this is what im having trouble with, ive only had a handful of punts and all have been with agencies, ive never requested services just went with the flow...

but now im booking more indies, i havent a clue what to say over the phone to them without sounding rude. 'i want you to do this, and i want you to do that' - sounds rude to me and would never say something like that. HELP!

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I saw a girl once who was clearly too nervous to take the lead, we were stood in the kitchen for 15 minutes making small talk and I was waiting for her to take my hand and lead me up the stairs, or kiss me...or something! Im very used to the WG taking the lead so it seemed odd, she did say she was new to escorting though...she turned around to close a cupboard or something so I just wrapped my arms around her from behind and started kissing her neck, then I said "shall we go upstairs now?" she smiled...it was a smile of relief that I was taking the lead, suppose that was just what she was used to! from that point on I was ragging her around the bedroom, she seemed to love that... it was one of my best ever punts...until the bed broke  :(

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I've had about 6 punts over the past couple of years mostly good and a few bad ones. The good ones have been where the Wg has taken the lead at the start of the punt and after that everything has flowed. But obviously sometimes you get Wg that what's the punter to take the lead.

So I was just looking for advice on how to be assertive during a punt without coming across as rude or demanding.

 

When enquiring and booking i say what i require and re-iterate this in person before i hand my money over so the WG is clear what i want. I always know how i want a punt to pan out, allowing for a good surprise though and move things on to that politely but firmly if needed. Works for me usually.

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