zipless

Money Can't Buy Me Love

62 posts in this topic

Keen eyed readers of these pages will have noticed that occasionally the venerable and upstanding poster Mr Porker Paul has made reference to my supposed enormous wealth*. Hitherto I have gently deprecated these suggestions so that the flow of wit and ideas is not diverted away from its proper course into areas of speculation that are useless to the common weal and,  let us be honest, awkward for me. But there comes a time when the truth must out so that matters of higher import can be freely and frankly examined. That time has come.

 

When I grow weary of the hurly and, indeed, the burly of the “real world” I retire to my private island for a week or two to relax in my modest “bungalow-ranch style” bungalow with its 15 bedrooms, its jacuzzi, its swimming pools , its private cinema and its many acres of carefully tended landscaped gardens that overlook the beach in one direction and the mountains in the other. Here, to the accompaniment of Mahler or Miles Davis, I like to sit on the verandah in the evening and look out towards the sea as it laps the shores of my private haven. Sipping a glass of Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon I often take pot shots with my Colt 1911 (my island ,my laws) at targets set up by the servants, some of which (the targets, not the servants) have affixed to them representations of the more egregious of my bêtes noires from public life. When dinner is served my lithe and supple paid companion (herself the heiress to the throne of a small African kingdom, obscure but rich in as yet unexploited mineral wealth ) comes and gently leads me to the dining room. Afterwards we repair to one of the several master bedrooms. And here we come to the point: sometimes in the small hours, I lie awake thinking:

 

“What's it all about? What has all this wealth got me? Where is the love? Has a lazy cynicism got me in its grip? Is it all too easy? Wouldn't I be happier with a “real” relationship?”

 

 

Then I remember the last time I was in love: The huge psycho-chemical upheaval, the sleepless nights, the moments of hope followed by hours of despair, the rejection, the abandonment, the ensuing nervous breakdown, the therapists' bills, the chewed carpets and broken furniture and I think “Sod all that! I'm happy as I am” and I turn over and go back to sleep.

 

 

Money may not be able to buy you love but it can certainly buy an agreeable sanctuary from it. :D


 


 

(*The possession of great wealth, Paul, is like making love to a beautiful woman: It brings great pleasure but also great responsibility.)


:)

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Give me £10 million and i would make a LOT of escorts happy for a long time, lol

And i would die a happy death knowing i had been with such a vast amount of gorgeous women in my time.

 

But nope, im a regular guy on £35k/year net.

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I suspect the Merlot may have something to do with this.  It does tend to repeat a bit, in the early hours.  If your budget can go a pound or two further on this island, Waitrose do quite a tasty Rioja at £9.99.

 

Enjoy.

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I suspect the Merlot may have something to do with this.  It does tend to repeat a bit, in the early hours.  If your budget can go a pound or two further on this island, Waitrose do quite a tasty Rioja at £9.99.

 

Enjoy.

 

I like Rioja very much but I am going through a bit of a Chilean Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon thing at the moment. :)

 

Whatever I drink my bladder wakes me up at about 0500 hrs. :)

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As one of your loyal servants Mr Zipless, maybe if you paid me a decent wage of about £6.50 an hour instead of having to depend on your ex partners handouts, I would give you a better standard of service, and think more of you when i next tug my forlock when you pass me in your chauffuer driven Bentley.

 

The lack of love in your life is a mere something that you took for granted when you were at charm school, or Eton as we now call it, as you were too busy playing at how to perfect custard creams, and listening to the horrible sounds of the day, instead of looking about and smelling the roses.

 

Oh yes you had the perfect business plan, buy when folk were in trouble, and sell  when the parts you thought were at a good price, and now look where it has got you, pleading on a forum where folk of little reputable character can be found.

 

Yes I also am on the forum, and include myself  when I speak out about those of those loose morals, but I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, and granted life's best chances.

 

I might not have cash in my pocket, but I have the love of a great person....I spent all my cash on a hand mirror!....LOL.

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Money is lovely, fantastic, I love it...but...would you trade your family and best friends for it? No, you wouldn't. So love is more important thats the bottom line. Saying that though, you dont have to be in love to be happy either. Its always great at first....at first...

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Money is lovely, fantastic, I love it...but...would you trade your family and best friends for it? 

 

It would depend on the offer! I think some people would look at £50 million and think "hmmm, I think I could manage to find some new friends and plenty of people wanting to be in my family...". For some people the decision could be made for a much lower figure...  <_<

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It would depend on the offer! I think some people would look at £50 million and think "hmmm, I think I could manage to find some new friends and plenty of people wanting to be in my family...". For some people the decision could be made for a much lower figure...  <_<

well boo hoo at them then. 

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For some people the decision could be made for a much lower figure... 

 

well boo hoo at them then. 

 

I am always amazed at the amount of money that some people consider to be "life changing". I have heard people on TV game shows who seem to be thinking that £25K or £50K would set them up for life! Perhaps I just don't have their imagination, or their willingness to spend on trivial diversions.

 

The saddest are possibly the radio competition phone ins where the accumulated 6 month prize of £2,000 has people wetting themselves with excitement about all the things they are going to do when it wouldn't even pay for a short haul 2 week holiday.

 

And you have to wonder at the risks some criminals are willing to take in pursuit of small sums of money.

 

But to those who have little, a little seems a lot...

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Vast resources of untapped mineral wealth aching for exploitation has stimulated my interest.  How do I become your friend?  Does the heiress have any sisters?  We could all listen to Bitches Brew.  

Edited by WhilstNeroplays

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Vast resources of untapped mineral wealth aching for exploitation has stimulated my interest.  How do I become your friend?  Does the heiress have any sisters?  We could all listen to Bitches Brew.  

Zipless doesn't have too many friends. I know what I do about his furtive zillions as I am best friend with his accountant!  He came by much of the loot illegally and if he doesn't start handing me my fair share I will shop him to Galahad! Then he'll get thrown off this board and then where will he be?

 

My own island is across the bay and on a still evening we watch the smoke spiral up while Zipless burns £50 notes. Little does he know that $50 bills burn better!

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I read a lovely quote somewhere "Those who think money cannot buy happiness, does not have real money!"

But it is all relative. I wandered through the Canary Wharf shopping malls over the weekend and discovered that although I could buy what I wanted, I wanted for nothing. Now that is true happiness!

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... Little does he know that $50 bills burn better!

 

Unfortunately, they are cheaper.

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To be so rich that you are set for life and can splurge on whatever you wish must be a wonderful feeling. But only if your loved ones are safe and well x

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As one of your loyal servants Mr Zipless, maybe if you paid me a decent wage of about £6.50 an hour instead of having to depend on your 1) ex partners handouts, I would give you a better standard of service, and think more of you when i next tug my forlock when you pass me in your chauffuer driven 2) Bentley.

 

The lack of love in your life is a mere something that you took for granted when you were at charm school, or 3) Eton as we now call it, as you were too busy playing at how to perfect custard creams, and listening to the horrible sounds of the day, instead of looking about and smelling the roses.

 

Oh yes you had the perfect business plan, buy when folk were in trouble, and sell  when the parts you thought were at a good price, and now look where it has got you, pleading on a forum where folk of little reputable character can be found.

 

Yes I also am on the forum, and include myself  when I speak out about those of those loose morals, but I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, and granted life's best chances.

 

I might not have cash in my pocket, but I have the love of a great person..4)..I spent all my cash on a hand mirror!....LOL.

 1) ?????

 

2) Maybach Zeppelin DS8

 

3) Not exclusive enough for my family.

 

4) A splendid idea!!

 

:D :D

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“What's it all about? What has all this wealth got me? Where is the love? Has a lazy cynicism got me in its grip? Is it all too easy? Wouldn't I be happier with a “real” relationship?”

 

Epicurus:  The pleasure lies in the anticipation of fulfilment, not in the fulfilment itself. The man who waits in pleasant anticipation is therefore happier than the man who is fulfilled immediately.

 

Jen Paul Sartre:  What you do is entirely your own decision. You have nobody to blame but yourself if things are not going right for you. It is up to you, not us, to judge where all this wealth has got you.

 

John Stuart Mill:   You should aim for the maximum total of happiness, summed over all the people.

 

Ed Balls:  I shall tax you until you can no longer afford your island.

 

Emily Pankhurst:  You are a vile exploiter of women.

 

Lucy Drippingcunt of Manchester:   How can I get to meet you?

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Money is lovely, fantastic, I love it...but...would you trade your family and best friends for it? No, you wouldn't. So love is more important thats the bottom line. Saying that though, you dont have to be in love to be happy either. Its always great at first....at first...

 

I already did!

 

I tired of them. :D

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Vast resources of untapped mineral wealth aching for exploitation has stimulated my interest.  How do I become your friend?  Does the heiress have any sisters?  We could all listen to Bitches Brew*

 

With money. Lots of lovely money.....

 

:D :D :D :D

 

*Good choice!! :)

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(*The possession of great wealth, Paul, is like making love to a beautiful woman: It brings great pleasure but also great responsibility.)

:)

In my life it has been an either/or scene; the dice fell in such a way that I got to meet some fabulous ladies (many who can be seen here) but the possession of wealth eluded me.

 

Fortunately I retain my sense of humour, which while it may not appeal to many does make me chuckle a bit from time to time.

 

An excellent thread, Zipless and one which will give much food for thought.  Thanks for posting it P

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Zipless doesn't have too many friends. I know what I do about his furtive zillions as I am best friend with his accountant!  He came by much of the loot illegally and if he doesn't start handing me my fair share I will shop him to Galahad! Then he'll get thrown off this board and then where will he be?

 

My own island is across the bay and on a still evening we watch the smoke spiral up while Zipless burns £50 notes. Little does he know that $50 bills burn better!

 

The true tale of Porker and I and our business dealings has yet to be told. But with this post I feel he has given me permission to "tell it like it was".

 

But not yet. I have only just awoken from my afternoon nap.

 

First I must marshall my thoughts and my memories.

 

:D :D

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I read a lovely quote somewhere "Those who think money cannot buy happiness, does not have real money!"

But it is all relative. I wandered through the Canary Wharf shopping malls over the weekend and discovered that although I could buy what I wanted, I wanted for nothing. Now that is true happiness!

 

Yes. I agree. :)

 

I find that happening more often nowadays. Perhaps I am finally growing up! :D

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1) Epicurus:  The pleasure lies in the anticipation of fulfilment, not in the fulfilment itself. The man who waits in pleasant anticipation is therefore happier than the man who is fulfilled immediately.

 

2) Jean Paul Sartre:  What you do is entirely your own decision. You have nobody to blame but yourself if things are not going right for you. It is up to you, not us, to judge where all this wealth has got you.

 

3) John Stuart Mill:   You should aim for the maximum total of happiness, summed over all the people.

 

4) Ed Balls:  I shall tax you until you can no longer afford your island.

 

5) Emily Pankhurst:  You are a vile exploiter of women.

 

6) Lucy Drippingcunt of Manchester:   How can I get to meet you?

 

1) In as much as Epicurus inspired Lucretius to write De Rerum Naturae, he was not a bad old stick.

 

2) Shifty French intellectual, although he did write Huis Clos, which is a depressing but insightful play with the great line l'enfer c'est les autres, which can used out of context endlessly.

 

3) Spot on. We are all a very long time dead.

 

4) To take my island from me he would have to come to it. Then the fun would really begin. I'd give the bastard a 50 yard start. :D :D :D

 

5) Calm down dear. You'll soon feel better.

 

6) You'll have to wait your turn. :)

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I suspect the Merlot may have something to do with this.  It does tend to repeat a bit, in the early hours.  If your budget can go a pound or two further on this island, Waitrose do quite a tasty Rioja at £9.99.

 

Enjoy.

 

Despite my earlier post I sent one of the servants off to see what he could get and he came back with a 2010 Cub Privado Rioja. Was that what you meant?

 

I shall let you know what it was like when I have drunk it. :)

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I am always amazed at the amount of money that some people consider to be "life changing". I have heard people on TV game shows who seem to be thinking that £25K or £50K would set them up for life! Perhaps I just don't have their imagination, or their willingness to spend on trivial diversions.

 

The saddest are possibly the radio competition phone ins where the accumulated 6 month prize of £2,000 has people wetting themselves with excitement about all the things they are going to do when it wouldn't even pay for a short haul 2 week holiday.

 

And you have to wonder at the risks some criminals are willing to take in pursuit of small sums of money.

 

But to those who have little, a little seems a lot...

Wait until you hear the true tale of me and Porker!! :D :D :D

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In my life it has been an either/or scene; the dice fell in such a way that I got to meet some fabulous ladies (many who can be seen here) but the possession of wealth eluded me.

 

Fortunately I retain my sense of humour, which while it may not appeal to many does make me chuckle a bit from time to time.

 

An excellent thread, Zipless and one which will give much food for thought.  Thanks for posting it P

I was inspired by the master. :)

 

Well, partly. :D :D :D

 

Seriously, if there was no one here who knew a joke when they saw one I wouldn't have spent the time I did sorting out the typos!! :D :D

 

When I was at school (definitely not Eton :D ) I remember the classics master (they had such things when I was young) saying that the Greeks were afraid of passion. As a 16 year old I naturally thought "Dreary old sods", but nearly 40 years later I do to some extent sympathise with them. Love is a many splendoured thing but, at my age, contentment is even better. :)

 

But that is just me. :)

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