Sarah Summers

When A Punter Becomes A Friend

101 posts in this topic

Off the top of my head I can think of three punters who I will not see anymore because we are friends now.  These are people I would meet for a coffee and a chinwag, people I would go to for advice and help and they the same.  They understand why I do not want to see them professionally anymore as the boundaries are blurred beyond recognition.  It works too...  I am meeting one guy soon for a catch-up and look forward to it.

 

Anyone else like this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes several and still see them under those conditions today. In fact I work from time to time with one of them (he hosts my websites and repairs my computers) another quite often joins my partner and I for a meal or stays the weekend if in this area (saves him forking out on a hotel).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've become friends with an escort and she has invited me to stay with her and her family numerous times and I still see her for bookings too

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I've become friends with an escort and she has invited me to stay with her and her family numerous times and I still see her for bookings too

I find that a bit incestuous to be honest.  Do her family know she works?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I've become friends with an escort and she has invited me to stay with her and her family numerous times and I still see her for bookings too

Yes, please don't leave us wondering how on earth that works.

 

Some more details please, before I get brain meltdown.

 

Oops, too late :wacko:  :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes several and still see them under those conditions today. In fact I work from time to time with one of them (he hosts my websites and repairs my computers) another quite often joins my partner and I for a meal or stays the weekend if in this area (saves him forking out on a hotel).

I can see that working because you're not not working Holly and the other circumstances. I would feel comfortable with that because life has moved on to another chapter.

I've become friends with an escort and she has invited me to stay with her and her family numerous times and I still see her for bookings too

No way. Nothing further to be said in my opinion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that a punter should be friendly towards his date, and vice versa, but there are lines that should not be crossed. However, it is almost impossible to define these lines with words.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How can you be friends with someone you charge for sex? please explain.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes Paul, I agree, I was trying to answer this and it is hard to express!

Here's my shot-

 

I am friendly with some long term/regular clients. I don't consider them as friends in the conventional sense because I don't call on them when I need to talk and you don't let friends pay you for sex, but within the booking they feel like friends. I don't see any clients outside 'work' for free social time and nor would I call on any of them for help or just for a chat but I have a couple of actual friends who started off as clients, although I probably wouldn't allow that to happen again. One I still sleep with the other I don't and it is a genuinely platonic relationship, if either of them wanted to pay me for sex again I'd be furious! 

 

However, i also have seen a couple of men for non paid time because they could fill a gap somewhere in my personal sex life- usually as part of a threesome, so therefore because it's beneficial to me I haven't charged. However we have gone back to paid sex only when they meet just me.  They are sort of friends I suppose. 

 

I also have chaps in here who I talk to in the chat room who feel like online friends- some are/have been clients and others not, but even though we are friendly, they are still paying clients. if they wanted to meet for a drink if they were in the area I might consider it, but if they wanted sex then it would be paid for.

 

It's really really hard not to blur lines, but can be done successfully if you are both crystal clear about the terms of the 'relationship'. maybe when I retire there will be some guys I keep in touch with, who knows?! 

 

So I suppose each man is judged (judges sounds horrible, but I can't think of a better word!) on his own merit, how much I trust him and if I think he has any hidden agenda I might not approve of! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Off the top of my head I can think of three punters who I will not see anymore because we are friends now.  These are people I would meet for a coffee and a chinwag, people I would go to for advice and help and they the same.  They understand why I do not want to see them professionally anymore as the boundaries are blurred beyond recognition.  It works too...  I am meeting one guy soon for a catch-up and look forward to it.

 

Anyone else like this?

I think that this is the right approach - I see a specific wg on a regular basis, and have done for past 4 years. I would use the words used in a post above - we are friends in the room and we both enjoy each others company. But would we meet up outside of work - a definite no. I imagine that it can get very messy and as others have said very much blurs the line between work and social time. But a very good topic for discussion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
No way. Nothing further to be said in my opinion.

 

Please ignore Gibbs.  He's already got Mother / Daughter relationship issues in his own punting life. 

 

For those of us for whom this kind of territory is a foreign land, well me anyway, I am quite intrigued.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You do realise that no matter what a heterosexual bloke says, he always hopes to be able to have sex with you? That's true if you'd never had sex with him before. I can only imagine that's even more likely if you've had sex with him , are still working and willing to have sex with strangers but not him!

 

If a WG I had been seeing regularly asked me for help with her computer (which has happened) then help with a few more things and saw me casually for coffee, then said, "I see you as a friend now so we can never have sex again", I think I may regret helping her fix her computer that first time...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You do realise that no matter what a heterosexual bloke says, he always hopes to be able to have sex with you? That's true if you'd never had sex with him before. I can only imagine that's even more likely if you've had sex with him , are still working and willing to have sex with strangers but not him!

 

If a WG I had been seeing regularly asked me for help with her computer (which has happened) then help with a few more things and saw me casually for coffee, then said, "I see you as a friend now so we can never have sex again", I think I may regret helping her fix her computer that first time...

It's at this point you need to come clean and say that actually you know nothing about computers and you were only doing this in the hope of getting a freebie!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I can see that working because you're not not working Holly and the other circumstances. I would feel comfortable with that because life has moved on to another chapter.

No way. Nothing further to be said in my opinion.

Bloody hell ......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You do realise that no matter what a heterosexual bloke says, he always hopes to be able to have sex with you? That's true if you'd never had sex with him before. I can only imagine that's even more likely if you've had sex with him , are still working and willing to have sex with strangers but not him!

 

If a WG I had been seeing regularly asked me for help with her computer (which has happened) then help with a few more things and saw me casually for coffee, then said, "I see you as a friend now so we can never have sex again", I think I may regret helping her fix her computer that first time...

This is creepy stuff ....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You do realise that no matter what a heterosexual bloke says, he always hopes to be able to have sex with you? That's true if you'd never had sex with him before. I can only imagine that's even more likely if you've had sex with him , are still working and willing to have sex with strangers but not him!

 

Complete and utter drivel.  Any more homespun nonsense you want to share with us?  

Edited by WhilstNeroplays

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Complete and utter drivel.  Any more homespun nonsense you want to share with us?  

Thank you for that. Its not all about the sex is it? Sometimes you find you connect with someone on another level and the sex then doesn't seem important but the friendship is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would like to believe that any meeting I have with any lady is "friendly". That is entirely different than being "friends". Believe it or not I am quite a chatty person and find no difficulty in having a conversation with someone I've just met. That's called "being friendly". So that at the end of the visit both of you have had a good time and part on good terms. But whether you have met once or ten times that doesn't make you "friends" in the true sense of the word. But it certainly makes you better than the "get your knickers down and bend over and let's see how many times I can cum in an hour" client. I do not and would never wish to fall into that category because neither "friendly" nor "friend" applies.

For several reasons I never see myself as being a "friend" of a lady. One of the main reasons is that the vast amount of my visits entail at least a two hour drive to reach the lady. No possibility of just dropping in for a coffee and chat type scenario plus even if I discover a "regular" it would mean seeing her no more than two/three times in a year. There was a lady who mistook my friendly and helpful nature as something more but we sorted that out and she now knows that I have no desire to be a "friend" although I would hope we will always remain "friendly".

If I ever stopped seeing a lady professionally then I don't see how continuing seeing her would work. If I fancied her enough to want to keep going back to have sex with her then that desire would not simply vanish. Why would I want to put myself through the inevitable trauma if wanting to but never being able to return to what I once enjoyed?

There are ladies who have my private e-mail address and if after stopping seeing each other any of them got in touch to ask my advice or assistance and it wouldn't impinge on my personal life then I would always be happy to oblige. But again it's how I see the difference between "friendly" and "friend".

Edited by gibbs

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yes Paul, I agree, I was trying to answer this and it is hard to express!

Here's my shot-

 

I am friendly with some long term/regular clients. I don't consider them as friends in the conventional sense because I don't call on them when I need to talk and you don't let friends pay you for sex,

 

That is something all punters should take into account

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Complete and utter drivel.  Any more homespun nonsense you want to share with us?  

 

No, that's it for today. Yes, it's a big generalisation or "truism" or whatever you might want to call it. But it's also probably true for most men and certainly even more likely to be true for those who started by seeing someone as a paid sexual services provider. Why on earth would it be expected that a man should find a woman less sexually desirable and attractive to them because their friendship had expanded and deepened? Now that would be utter drivel!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This is creepy stuff ....

 

I had to re-read my text to see why you said that. Just to be clear, I didn't mean any man meeting any woman for the first time, yes that would be creepy. I meant good friends who had not necessarily had sex (the general case) or, as in the original post in this thread, former parties to a series of paid sexual encounters no longer having sex. I don't believe the sexual desire would diminish so much on the man's part no matter how platonic the woman might think the relationship may have become.

 

You can break this down so many ways. Perhaps the WG in such a situation is actually very sexually attracted to these friends but has chosen to now keep them as friends only and is resisting the sexual attraction. Another case to consider is where a WG never found the punter sexually attractive at all. But clearly the punter would have found her sexually attractive enough to book many meetings before the friendship expanded. I'm not trying to query Sarah on this, by the way, just responding to the situation described in the original post and trying to explain why the punter concerned might not be so happy.

 

It just seems to me that the service provider is such circumstances is clearly calling the shots. She has every right to decide who she chooses to have sex with - no question, paid or not! Just don't assume the ex-punter is fully content with the change in circumstances.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Of course this is entirely possible. You are no longer attracted to them on a physical level and just wish to pursue the bond and connection that you have established with them. Both partys feel the exact same way it can be a great thing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Of course this is entirely possible. You are no longer attracted to them on a physical level and just wish to pursue the bond and connection that you have established with them. Both partys feel the exact same way it can be a great thing!

 

I don't want to put words into your mouth, badboy, but did you miss an import "if" at the start of your last sentence as I can't see how you could make the statement? Sure, if both parties feel the exact same way it can be a great thing, but there's no way of knowing and therefore it's a presumption. I happen to think it's unlikely that such a presumption is correct, where a sexual relationship was previously enjoyed by the punter. There will be cases where the relationship has fully moved on for both parties but I think that would be the exception, not the rule.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well unfortunately Mark since none of us have psychic abilities all we can honestly do is assume.

 

But thank you for correcting la' text..

 

I better watch out - Mark is paying more attention to my posts than I am  ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I better watch out - Mark is paying more attention to my posts than I am  ;)

But at least he is not giving away 2 cents every time he posts.   I'm glad you have stopped doing that Badboy and are now saving up for a mega punt

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now