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Chloe Kisses

Whilst We Are On The Subject Of Smelly Things...

70 posts in this topic

As one of the threads has taken a turn towards smelly asses I am surprised no one has mentioned man clangers? Are they finally dying out. Luckily I haven't encountered any this time around...unlike last time around lol.

 

 

tip guys...if you go for  a dump after your pre punt shower but before or during the punt pleeeeaase make use of the baby wipes as well as the dry tissue...nothing worse than going down on a guy to find a bit of balled up cafe au lait coloured loo roll under his ball sack (when your loo roll is white)...kind of nestling in the pubes. I mean, what are we meant to do? You just cant go down and suck the willy  with that thing staring at you, mentally you just cant get past it, what if it falls off on the bed, and also because half the time the guy will say oooo play with me balls and its hard to tell him whats afoot. 

 

Guys, in this situation what would you prefer a lady to do...just decline the ball scratching and risk being slated online for not going near your balls or just tell you straight? It puts most positions out of the window in case that little devil falls off onto you   :eek: ...or your bed.

 

I am sure you can see why it puts a girl in a rather tricky position. For the record I used to just say errr I think you need to visit the loo. Thankfully most got the message, some didnt though and just said, no thanks, I have just been so I had to press the subject. 

Edited by Chloe Kisses

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The common sense approach is to have a dump before you have a bath or shower. Then you can be safe in the knowledge that you are clean as a whistle.

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Bleurchh Chloe...you always have such a way with words when it comes to male hygiene habits, not sure if I fancy lunch now!!! :blink:

 

Listen to the lady...scrupulous cleanliness often gets you extra mileage guys!

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cafe au lait coloured loo roll  

LOL, but did it smell of cocoa

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PS. And I thought Clangers where those cute whistling mouse-like creatures that lived on the moon!! Who's the Soup Dragon in all of this?? :unsure:

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LOL, but did it smell of cocoa

 or cappuccino?? :D

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This thread should come with a warning lol. Half way through lunch and I think thats me done lol :)

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Bleurchh Chloe...you always have such a way with words when it comes to male hygiene habits, not sure if I fancy lunch now!!! :blink:

 

Listen to the lady...scrupulous cleanliness often gets you extra mileage guys!

haha why thank you, I shall take that as a compliment, I always try to no matter what x

 

LOL, but did it smell of cocoa

 

Thanks for assuming I got that close...I didn't

PS. And I thought Clangers where those cute whistling mouse-like creatures that lived on the moon!! Who's the Soup Dragon in all of this?? :unsure:

They were in more innocent times...such as the 70's

 

This thread should come with a warning lol. Half way through lunch and I think thats me done lol :)

 lol..it did, the tags pre-punt dump, clangers and loo roll x

 

You will all just have to excuse me, I have been up unable to sleep since 3am afte getting woken up, didnt think to read my book so came on here, by the time i remembered my book it was too late to go to sleep...so a started a thread instead...and aren't you all glad of it  ^_^

 

but seriously, for the ladies who suffer this indignity its a burning issue...please help guys...

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haha why thank you, I shall take that as a compliment, I always try to no matter what x

 

 

Thanks for assuming I got that close...I didn't

They were in more innocent times...such as the 70's

 

 lol..it did, the tags pre-punt dump, clangers and loo roll x

 

You will all just have to excuse me, I have been up unable to sleep since 3am afte getting woken up, didnt think to read my book so came on here, by the time i remembered my book it was too late to go to sleep...so a started a thread instead...and aren't you all glad of it  ^_^

 

but seriously, for the ladies who suffer this indignity its a burning issue...please help guys...

 

 

Doh, missed them lol!

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i yank em out! 

Im liking this approach rather too much  :ph34r: better stock up on some more latex gloves...just in case

Edited by Chloe Kisses

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If the fellow has enough hair on his nethers, simply set the lot ablaze with a mini creme brullee torch. 

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...nothing worse than going down on a guy to find a bit of balled up cafe au lait coloured loo roll under his ball sack (when your loo roll is white)...kind of nestling in the pubes. I mean, what are we meant to do? You just cant go down and suck the willy  with that thing staring at you. 

 

Use your tongue and lick it out!

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If the fellow has enough hair on his nethers, simply set the lot ablaze with a mini creme brullee torch. 

Actually laughing out loud at this!!

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I always thought they were called clingons   :unsure:

 

 

 

 

.

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Great idea, pull them out one-by-one and keep in an air tight container...then sprinkle on the next slice of chocolate gateau served with a chilled glass of champagne...

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You lot are absolutely disgusting ....

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I would never dream of dumping, nor even peeing apres shower!

 

Surely, this is standard procedure whether its when paying or at home?

 

As, you may have noticed, I tend to turn these threads around and so...

 

SUrely its the same for Ladies: you have a client booked in, you dump, pee (unless WS are expected, I suppose), shower and apply nice scents.

 

THe dumping surely is necessary if Anal is on the cards?

 

My thoughts go up the the OP, both for highlighting one of the downsides of escorting, also for offering a way forward, also to making me nearly lose my beer!

 

I know I am guilty of this on more than one occasion, but this is a pretty base, if revealing post!

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so I had to press the subject. 

bearing in mind the topic, was this a wise choice of wording? :eek:

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I had never actually considered this situation before today. Prior to a visit I always limit my intake and am careful about what I eat (and the speed at which I eat it) although not drink. Consequently I have never had to excrete at the lady's premises.

Thinking about it now it seems quite simple. Afterwards jump in the shower (assuming one can't use the bidet for some reason and too short in the leg for the washbasin) and in a couple of minutes problem solved plus earning the lady's undying admiration.

Edited by gibbs

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Washbasin!!! . Dear lord, bad enough getting dog hair out the plug hole, but chocolate raisins??!! Lol.

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I'd rather go for a #2 at Mcds then dare to foul a wgs bathroom. Same thing with work and school, taking a shit is just kinda funny. Ofcourse, when you've got to go you've got to go, don't hold it in and let out a suprise during a nice bj.. :eek:

 

Honesty is the best policy to avoid confusion.

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Wash thy buttcrack severly with whatever you have in the shower  - soap, shower gel, shampoo (pardon the pun) but for gods sake wash it!

If you do need a dump after your shower.........go back in (shower)

I could never turn up for a punt with bog roll clingons between me butt cheeks or hanging off my scrotum :wacko:

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I hear some men are succumbing to bacterial analitis, due to excessive soaping and insertions. The ringpiece becomes visible in dim light, and the poor fellow gives off an appalling stench.  Many are caught by airport sniffer dogs and quarantined until tests prove correct.

 

Evidence of such an affliction appears on the gusset of his y fronts. At first one assumes some girl has been kissing the unmentionable area. But in fact its a nasty mix of shite and Sudocrem. Items need to be destroyed by fire.

 

He also develops a peculiar walk, not disimilar to Hercule Poirot's mincing steps.

 

It goes without saying that to linger near the toilet at any time during this condition is hazardous to health.

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It's at times like these you see why some WGs earn their money!

I am a bit paranoid about personal hygiene ahead of (and during!) any sexual activity whether with a WG or not, I really can't understand some people whether male or female that wouldn't want to be very clean when others are 'around and about' down there!

It's not really rocket science is it - be clean and it's much more likely the lady will be happy to dwell down there! Everyone's a winner!

Anyway, ew, on behalf of mankind everywhere I salute you ladies that have to put up with some of us men's hygiene habits!

Edited by DancinDannyD

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