Dr Faustus

Found Out

89 posts in this topic

A question mostly for the punters but also SP"s who keep their working lives private.

Ever been found out or close to being found out?

How did you react?

If you haven't been found out thus far how do you think you would react if you were?

Found our would be by OH" s, SO"s , friends , family etc.

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I got 'outed' from my last job. How did I feel? Devastated. I was quite happy hookering partime and was doing no harm to anybody but someone saw fit to grass me up. My only option was to go through a very lengthy investigation where they would have forced me at the end or leave quietly, so I took the latter option.

Have been fulltime now since July and am still coming to terms with things, but I am a fighter and for the most part an optimist, I take each day as it comes.

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Too scary to go there?

I think there's something unpleasant about someone being so eager to find out

Edited by Annabel Squires

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@ Bibi. Sorry about the bad time you went through buy glad things are better for you now

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Its all about the electronic paper trail nowadays.

Google for the Mumsnet relationship forum. (My Mrs reads it.)

Hundreds of situations there where guys have been caught out by internet history, adultwork, text messages etc.

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@ Bibi. Sorry about the bad time you went through buy glad things are better for you now
Am.not sure things are better to be honest.I would have liked the decision to go fulltime to be my own not because someone interfered but i can only throw myself in and try my best.

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Hi Bibi.  I'm just about old enough to know two things:

 

1) life will chuck changes at you whether you like them or not, and

 

2) sometimes changes we haven't intended can lead to  better outcomes that we hadn't foreseen.

 

Good luck to you.

 

Dr Faustus, not been outed so can't comment.  Have to admit I sail probably closer to the wind than anyone else has cared to mention on this forum that I've seen.  Sometimes I think that in respect of my own OH, there are none so blind as those who do not wish to see (and that's from me, an atheist!).

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Am.not sure things are better to be honest.I would have liked the decision to go fulltime to be my own not because someone interfered but i can only throw myself in and try my best.

I'm sure if you are only half as nice as you come across in this forum and only half as good as you try to be then you'll be ok as far as the male fraternity is concerned.

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Got me divorced when it happened to me.

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My daughter caught me after only my second indulgence. Fortunately she had some sympathy for me, together with some extremely hard words, because she is well aware of my home life.

I came clean about it (90% anyway) and as far as she is aware I have not transgressed again. I am much more careful now but am still aware that the fickle finger of fate could stab me at any time.

Edited by gibbs

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I'm sure if you are only half as nice as you come across in this forum and only half as good as you try to be then you'll be ok as far as the male fraternity is concerned.

Thankyou x

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I've never been found out. Closest I've come to that was in a restaurant having dinner with a friend only to see a lady I had visited a few weeks before came in. How my heart jumped. There was eye contact and I don't know whether she could see the shock in my eyes, or was just as shocked as me, but although we held eye contact for a bit she was discreet and went off her way and I left shortly thereafter. In all the gin joints in all the world!

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I don't have a partner so I have nothing to worry about on that front. I work for myself as well, so there's no worry with regards my job and getting found out. Only 2 people in real life know I punt - a friend and a friend of his who I don't know that well, but I spilled the beans to after my first punt! They don't know any of my other friends or family and don't live anywhere near people I know, so I'm fine with them knowing. 

 

The problem with telling anyone else for me is just the general lack of knowledge and understanding about punting that most people have. I can imagine some of them would just picture disease ridden street-walkers on drugs, despite how much you tried to explain that it wasn't like that at all. So I guess my main issue would be trying to persuade people that it's safe, fun and probably more widespread than they think. 

 

I was planning to tell another friend I punted. Said I had a story for him, but I'd tell him the next time we met up for drinks. He kept trying to guess what it might be and at one point just before I was about to tell him, he said something like "oh god, you've not started seeing hookers have you?!". This forced me to think on my feet a bit and I decided not to tell him I'd seen an escort and only that I'd lost my virginity instead - with a girl I'd met at a club.

 

I'm a crap liar, so I tend to base my lies on the truth - kept the girls general description and name the same as the escort I'd seen - she has a slightly exotic name. When he got back home he then tried to find the girl on Facebook and Google by searching her name and the city! He sent me an image file with a few profile pictures of girls he'd found - but one of the pictures was a shot of the escort from her website! He said there were loads of references to this escort when he searched google for the name and city. My heart sank, but I carried on with the lie and asked "why has one of those girls got her face blurred out?" etc. He hasn't mentioned it since, so hopefully he doesn't know but if he does bring it up at some point I'll have to try and explain what escorting/punting is really about. 

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closest i came to being outed was i was showing some photos i'd taken of an Old Firm game me and a childhood friend had been to. We were more like acquaintances and just happened to both be rangers season ticket holders at the time. So he's flicking through the gallery which which also contained a picture of an escort i had been seeing pretty regularly at that point so wanted something to pop up when phoned or texted. when her photo came up i got so embarrassed, a photo of a ladies breasts are an odd thing to have on ones phone.

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I got 'outed' from my last job. How did I feel? Devastated. I was quite happy hookering partime and was doing no harm to anybody but someone saw fit to grass me up. My only option was to go through a very lengthy investigation where they would have forced me at the end or leave quietly, so I took the latter option.

Have been fulltime now since July and am still coming to terms with things, but I am a fighter and for the most part an optimist, I take each day as it comes.

 

 

I am very sorry to hear that.  The spitefulness of some people beggars belief.

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i will respond on behalf of the bloke i see. ( A punter )

 

He got found out. By me.

 

He went scatty and apeshit and very blunty denied it. Became verbally aggressive.

 

Turned things around so i ended up the one at fault accusing him of stuff that he says he would never in a million years do.

 

Does he still do it? Yup. Even though he thinks that i dont know.

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Never been found out. Though I once met a co worker on Paddington Station who was surprised to see me there. I joked I was looking for a rent boy and was about to approach him until I recognised the face. He laughed, I laughed and wandered off into the crowd

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There are loads of guys who get found out - just read the mums forums - but nobody here ever admits it - just me!

Yes I was clumsy nearly a year ago - I denied it and stuck to my story. She gave me grief for a few months - used it whenever we had an argument - but has not mentioned it at all in 6 months and all seems ok. I think that was my last cats life - if I get clumsy again it will be curtains.

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I too am a crap liar, if I got found out I would just have to come clean and face the consequences - whatever they may be.

My job involves irregular hours so I have no need to make up stories to go out, which is just as well.

Sorry to hear about what happened to you Bibi, there are some spiteful people in this world. That is the reason I posted the 'What to do thread' as I would hate to think of something like that happening to the girl I saw just through her being naïve and a bit too chatty. She clearly has plans for her future which could be ruined if she were outed.

I suppose its a risk we all take to some extent or other though.

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I think more men are found out than they realise, but the OH has done her own bit of risks / rewards analysis and lets you have your fun. What I would not accept is if my partner did things that put me at risk, which also includes OWO, RO with a lady using a sponge on her period and kissing a lady that offers OWO, much worse CIM. If I caught him at that, he'd be in serious hot water. And I would catch him, many years in this business make you very perceptive.

Edited by randombird

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I think more men are found out than they realise, but the OH has done her own bit of risks / rewards analysis and lets you have your fun. What I would not accept is if my partner did things that put me at risk, which also includes OWO, RO with a lady using a sponge on her period and kissing a lady that offers OWO, much worse CIM. If I caught him at that, he'd be in serious hot water. And I would catch him, many years in this business make you very perceptive.

You don't know that - if you look on mumsnet - there are none there that take that attitude.

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I was outed once, there was no point in denying it as the proof was there. I just carried on regardless, me and my kids were getting shit anyhow by then, stopping wouldnt have stopped the nasty comments so why should my kids go without in their own home too, or lose out on days out. We moved not so long after anyway. 

 

Someone did attempt to out me a few years ago by printing off some website pictures and one of their kids took them to my sons school  (they attended the same school) to hand out. No one believed it was me, he got beaten up several times by my son and his friends and lost most of the mutual friends they had, his mothers fault for telling her son to do it. 

 

Her, I just stopped her babysitting my kids (oh yes, we knew each other that well that she thought I would never believe it was her that did it) which means she lost the 350 quid a week I was paying her so in reality she f**ked up her own kids life not mine. Karma can be a beautiful thing.

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You don't know that - if you look on mumsnet - there are none there that take that attitude.

 

Yesterday I landed on mumsnet while I was doing a google search for something else. So many women on there seem to be checking their partners' computers and bank statements. An ex sexworker giving them lots of advice on what to look out for... :eek:

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Never been found out, thankfully. A couple of my mates know I do this but they're unlikely to be telling any of my family or other friends an I've plenty of dirt on them if they ever did, lol. I also know a couple of people who have been found out and it can ruin people's lives just cause someone else has different views! The only thing I worry about is my daughter ever finding out :-(

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