Pennine Rover

Help For Disabled & Special Needs - Radio 2 Vine

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Yesterday on "Vine" there was a slot regarding a former brothel owner "Becky" who wanted to open a brothel for people with special needs who were unable to have sex. She had a group of SPs who were prepared to give their services free. It got a sympathetic response from listeners and also from some mothers of guys with special needs or disabled.

Just wondered who Becky was.

Good to hear the industry being given a positive image on prime time radio.

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That would Madame Becky a known lady on the scene, and I think poster here who's also just had a book in her name published.

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There was a half decent article in the Daily Tory ( sorry Mail) yesterday about sex surrogates/therapists, as ther were referred to (by which they meant working girl) services to disabled guys. Didn't mention any particular SP, though.

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Open up a brothel for people unable to have sex? how's that going to work?

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That's being a bit obtuse DG! It was for guys who were unable, due to their disability, to make contact with the opposite sex - not actually have sex. 

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Becky posted recently about finding an SP near Leighton Buzzard from memory. She is doing stirling work and I hope she gets support.

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That's being a bit obtuse DG! It was for guys who were unable, due to their disability, to make contact with the opposite sex - not actually have sex. 

 

I'm not trying to stir things up so please don't take this the wrong way but I can't really think of a disability that makes a person unable to make contact with the opposite sex. 

Well, I can, but those disabilities would probably stop you from physically being able to have sex too.

Or am I missing something?

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There's a film out with Helen Hunt who plays a surrogate for a guy with polio.

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It actually does mean have sex with the SP or else intimate contact appropriate to the physical ability of the man.

 

She was on this Morning today as well and also is doing lots of other programmes with media who contacted her from all over world.

 

The task involves a lot of preparation which is what MB and her helpers do, talking to the man and establishing what's appropriate, finding a lady to take the appointment and acting as facilitator such as getting the man up stairs if incall, sorting clothing, body position, tubing etc.

 

It's apparently part of human rights that disabled people should not be prevented from sexual contact though widely ignored I understand.

 

Not sure if I am allowed to link so will just mention that the agency is called para doxies.

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It sounds closer to surrogacy if they are prepared to do it for nothing - though surrogates do charge. The Helen Hunt film looks interesting - dilema of a parlysed man going to a priest to say he want to be laid. It's odd though how he is paralysed but he can feel his dick. The film has been criticised for shwoing a lot of Hunt in the sex scenes and little of the guy - which is understandable.

 

I saw a documenatry about a bed bound chap who had never fucked and had a surrogate - "wasn't what I had hoped for" was his verdict.

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One wonders whether the disabled gain something from such initiatives, or if they are just being put through a misguided and humiliating process, or being used as leverage for some other motive. Whilst its fair they are given help and due consideration, they can sometimes be steered into attempting things that are beyond their capabilities.

 

We don't see the aftermath of such things, for example garden plots and such like are demanding enough for the fit and healthy, but soon fall into rack and ruin with the disabled, because they just can't sustain the physical demands of such work. 

 

most brothels and locations of wg are inaccessible to the severely disabled, and even the slightly disabled. there are often stairs to ascend, and buildings where wheelchairs could not go. 

 

so it would need to be a purpose built brothel. and there is your motive, in effect an attempt to 'legalise' prostitution, by offering a charitable venture.

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From what I have read above, in the correct circumstance and with support and back up from the disabled persons friends family etc - I personaly see this as quite a good idea. Obviously as long as it is all genuine, and nobody is conned into ridiculous prices etc etc.

 

However, I knew a working girl in Leicester a few years ago, who used AW and was prepared to see disabled clients. The chap concerned also had some type of learning difficulties also, and was really unprepared for an encounter. However he did become quite upset and emotional / angry. Luckily no harm came to any of those concerned. My point being that there would have to be an awful lot of preparation, discussion and support for those people concerned, or it could lead to a traumatic event rather than a pleasant memorable experience for the persons involved.

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A female I know came across this story and thought it bizarre and ludicrous.

 

I have never met a wg that would even knock a pound off their price - let alone give it for nothing.

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Yes it is different and that can take some getting your head round. It would not have been free if it made business sense but it didn't. However that did not mean that Becky just walked away from it.

 

At present it can take 2 months, say, to arrange everything, to discuss everything, to get to know what would and wouldn't be appropriate for this man at this time - and with every notice taken of the man's wishes - so there is not the sudden meeting between SP and client that might have happened in the incident referred to a couple of posts before this one.

 

Mothers have been contacting Para-Doxies asking for help to let their sons have the sexual experience they have discussed as mum and son.

 

Since the publicity started, the interest for P-D to help has been great and international.

 

They operate in conjunction with sexual and disability therapists and legal people.

 

The planned £50k special brothel is at present seen as a donation to the idea of disability sexual rights.

 

there are to some extent comparable enterprises in a few other countries.

 

It may take some people some time to take it in but no harm done if they just ignore it as bizarre and ludicrous.

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Yes it is different and that can take some getting your head round. It would not have been free if it made business sense but it didn't. However that did not mean that Becky just walked away from it.

 

At present it can take 2 months, say, to arrange everything, to discuss everything, to get to know what would and wouldn't be appropriate for this man at this time - and with every notice taken of the man's wishes - so there is not the sudden meeting between SP and client that might have happened in the incident referred to a couple of posts before this one.

 

Mothers have been contacting Para-Doxies asking for help to let their sons have the sexual experience they have discussed as mum and son.

 

Since the publicity started, the interest for P-D to help has been great and international.

 

They operate in conjunction with sexual and disability therapists and legal people.

 

The planned £50k special brothel is at present seen as a donation to the idea of disability sexual rights.

 

there are to some extent comparable enterprises in a few other countries.

 

It may take some people some time to take it in but no harm done if they just ignore it as bizarre and ludicrous.

The point was made that as long as it is solely a private enterprise - there's nothing harmful in it. Though I would question the value of the experiences - as is seen in the Helen Hunt film - these vulnerable chaps can easily fall in love with the provider and don't understand what it is they are getting into - it is a charitable act of kindness - and nothing beyond that - free prostitution. There are some who may take to it in a big way - and live from one meeting to the next - which could be 2 months apart. There are others who will be let down.

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I think we need to start from the point of acknowledging the clients are normal men with disabilities.

 

I take the point that men with mental disabilities need a different sort of consideration from those with physical disabilities.

 

but remember these appts are made with reference to family and in discussion with the men.

 

Much of what you say can apply to able-bodied men too (who will usually not have support systems to refer to) - I have fallen in love with an SP or two and had to try to deal with that.

 

Some of the clients will be servicemen who have suffered loss of a limb, for example. Some stay with their wives/partners, some meet women they become partners to, some do not.

 

If you call it free prostitution, fine (if an oxymoron), but it's a service backed by experts, not a madam dabbling in things on a whim.

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I think we need to start from the point of acknowledging the clients are normal men with disabilities.

 

I take the point that men with mental disabilities need a different sort of consideration from those with physical disabilities.

 

but remember these appts are made with reference to family and in discussion with the men.

 

Much of what you say can apply to able-bodied men too (who will usually not have support systems to refer to) - I have fallen in love with an SP or two and had to try to deal with that.

 

Some of the clients will be servicemen who have suffered loss of a limb, for example. Some stay with their wives/partners, some meet women they become partners to, some do not.

 

If you call it free prostitution, fine (if an oxymoron), but it's a service backed by experts, not a madam dabbling in things on a whim.

For each man with a disability - I assume there is a woman. What do disabled women do in this situation? Deaf people marry each other - there must be some scope for matchmaking ins some cases.

Which experts back this idea?

You can afford to fall for a wg - you don't have the trauma of  living with a disability.

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Hello all!

 

Just reading through the thread about my appearance on ITV and Radio 2 etc.

 

To answer a few questions quickly, at Para-Doxies we provide sexual support, education and enabling services for men, women and couples with disabilities and terminal illnesses. 

 

We are a not for profit company. We will charge for some services for those who can afford it, but we are privately funded and have a bursary to help pay for travel etc 

 

There are many people with disabilities who cannot relieve themselves, and years of sexual frustration can be painful as you chaps will know, so we have ladies 'who do' or tantric breathing classes to teach ladies and gents how to orgasm with just their minds. 

 

Young people with autism are brought along by parents to attend chatting up work shops to help them join in the dating game, and enablers assist couples with disabilities to be more adventurous.

 

So, more than a brothel! However, we have the same ethos as Madam Becky's in the good old days in as much as that we keep it fun and friendly.

 

We have a full team of qualified legal and medical experts to keep things safe.  Many working ladies from all over the country have offered their services FOC, many who have worked or are still working in the nursing or caring professions.

 

It's an amazingly humbling thing to be doing and we have received huge support from all over the world. 

 

The debate also opens the minds of the general public to the compassionate part sex workers play in Para-Doxies and is addressing some of the stereo types so prevalent these days of coercion and exploitation. Hope that clears things up a bit!

 

Lots of love

 

Madam Becky x

 

 

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I hope it succeeds and that it may help some people realise what this world which we ll visit is all about

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Hello all!

 

Just reading through the thread about my appearance on ITV and Radio 2 etc.

 

To answer a few questions quickly, at Para-Doxies we provide sexual support, education and enabling services for men, women and couples with disabilities and terminal illnesses. 

 

We are a not for profit company. We will charge for some services for those who can afford it, but we are privately funded and have a bursary to help pay for travel etc 

 

There are many people with disabilities who cannot relieve themselves, and years of sexual frustration can be painful as you chaps will know, so we have ladies 'who do' or tantric breathing classes to teach ladies and gents how to orgasm with just their minds. 

 

Young people with autism are brought along by parents to attend chatting up work shops to help them join in the dating game, and enablers assist couples with disabilities to be more adventurous.

 

So, more than a brothel! However, we have the same ethos as Madam Becky's in the good old days in as much as that we keep it fun and friendly.

 

We have a full team of qualified legal and medical experts to keep things safe.  Many working ladies from all over the country have offered their services FOC, many who have worked or are still working in the nursing or caring professions.

 

It's an amazingly humbling thing to be doing and we have received huge support from all over the world. 

 

The debate also opens the minds of the general public to the compassionate part sex workers play in Para-Doxies and is addressing some of the stereo types so prevalent these days of coercion and exploitation. Hope that clears things up a bit!

 

Lots of love

 

Madam Becky x

Well done to you.  I think you are one very brave lady and admire you greatly x

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The debate also opens the minds of the general public to the compassionate part sex workers play in Para-Doxies and is addressing some of the stereo types so prevalent these days of coercion and exploitation. Hope that clears things up a bit!

 

Lots of love

 

Madam Becky x

More power to your elbow Becky!! You are providing a wonderfully generous service. Thank you very much. :wub:

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But will this really change the public perception of prostitution?

I am able bodied - so what I do in the public eye is sleazy and immoral.

If i am disabled - suddenly it's quite an understanding thing. and commendable of the women who offer their services - free or not.

 

In other words - I have to have to acquire a disbaility before my behaviour becomes acceptable.

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More power to your elbow indeed. With the Work of the TLC Trust, Outsiders and SHADA over the years, and the release of the film, The Sessions, public acknowledgement and acceptance of sex and disability is at last coming to the fore,

Edited by davidseven

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But will this really change the public perception of prostitution?

I am able bodied - so what I do in the public eye is sleazy and immoral.

If i am disabled - suddenly it's quite an understanding thing. and commendable of the women who offer their services - free or not.

 

In other words - I have to have to acquire a disbaility before my behaviour becomes acceptable.

Sour Puss! :angry:

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Sour Puss! :angry:

I do find it quite touching that mothers take an active role in getting their disabled sons laid. And if it is true that there are women who are prepared to help these guys out foc - well they do deserve a halo.

 

It is so commendable I think M Becky could be up for the nobel prize for medicine.

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