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Anuath

Escorts As Paid Mistress?

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Hi all,

I know that escorts are probably not the best way of achieving this sort of relationship, but I will go through what I am after and I'd like to have people honest opinions on it. Basically, ideally I am looking for an on-going "relationship" (read business arrangement) with a girlfriend level of intimacy where there can be consistency between appointments (e.g. remembering contents of discussion, proper talking) but with fairly clear boundaries on the limits of the arrangement and discretion.

I punt because I am away from the GF quite a lot so I don't quite get the level of intimacy I require and when we are intimate, it can be quite rushed. Before anyone suggests just going out and picking up girls isn't really practical for three reasons: 1) all of the people I know when I am away know my GF and the risk of them finding out is too great, 2) I have never picked up in a bar, etc. so I am not confident in that respect and 3) I am a larger man and not hugely confident in my body. I can also be quite quiet and possibly a little awkward around new people.

Prior to my start in punting, I met some lovely ladies for NSA fun on an ongoing basis from an adult dating site and this is where I met my GF. Unfortunately, I then moved area to study and lost contact with my previous meets and felt I could not risk the amount of time the adult dating sites took or the evidence left by the sites. I also found that the costs were getting on for being equivalent to punting.

I have been punting for about 5 years and in that time I have met over 20 escorts. Most of these have been one-off meets as the escort and I didn't click in the way I wanted though most of the meets have been sexually enjoyable, a lot of them felt very machine like despite being advertised as GFE. The best meet I ever had was on a trip into London with a rather lovely and eager young Polish lady, of my perfect body type, who gave the most amazing "slutty" GFE and claimed she had only just started - alas, she was too far away to make it a regular thing, I didn't have her number or name and she was only staying a week.

I did end up with an on-going arrangement with one lady where we would meet for a bit, talk etc. and the time spent really wasn't an issue as we were enjoying each other's company. we would then spend some time doing non-sexual things together which was nice. I also did photos for her profile and occasionally drove for her. She also was involved in me having my first (and so far only) 3-sum however this was a complete disaster! Unfortunately she left the area and I haven't seen her in over a year :(.

I have tried using reverse booking on the other site and my first one resulted in me meeting a rather nice lady a couple of times who was unfortunately a little far away from me and a bit outside my age/body type preference and she has since disappeared. The second reverse booking resulted in what looked to be a very promising potential but ended up being my recent rather expensive "mistake".

So the real question for the guys - have you ever had this sort if "relationship" with an escort and was it what you were after?

And for the escorts on the forum - would you consider having a relationship like this or is it something you have you have ever done?

For both: is this a fairly uncommon result for an ongoing regular client-provider scenario or am I just seeing the wrong girls?

And I suppose the ultimate question: is there a better way to achieve what I want?

And please, no comments that I am being naive or that I am mad for wanting this - we all have different reasons for punting and we all want something different out of the situation.

Edited by Anuath

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I think you need to change girlfriends as the one you have now is obviously not doing it for you. You're not looking for a punt but for a substitute for your GF (it sounds like a very unfulfilled relationship by the sounds of it).

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i know this might not be the response you are looking for but have you ever considered embarking on a rigorous exercise and diet routine so that you would be more confident in your body + working on self improvement and social skills so that you can pick up in a bar?

 

sorry if this is not the response you wanted but just putting it out there...

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i know this might not be the response you are looking for but have you ever considered embarking on a rigorous exercise and diet routine so that you would be more confident in your body + working on self improvement and social skills so that you can pick up in a bar?

 

sorry if this is not the response you wanted but just putting it out there...

Don't be sorry, it is a valid input. Yes, I have thought about loosing weight and it is something I am actively working on. As for the social skills, well, I can be quite confident in certain situations.

As for picking up in a bar, I am not convinced this is for me given my current relationship and what I am looking for, unless you know of a bar which only has girls looking to be a mistress :)

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I had to reply didn't I ;) .

If and I do mean if you got a lady to agree to this then the boundaries must be cast in stone and fully understood by both parties. What is expected must also be cast in stone and fully understood. How much is paid and for what must also be sorted out.

I am a mistress and sometimes I wish it was the kind of arrangement you are looking for as with emotions involved, albeit waning on my part, it is not easy.

Whereabouts in the country are you looking?

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Would it not be better to find a best friend, and not get too involved with an escort, considering you also have a GF.

 

There are Parlours who have some great ladies, and they can always be found working there, maybe that will be more what you are looking for, rather than a mistress.

 

Not than I would try to put you off seeking Maz as a possable, but you would have to be very very lucky to find one like Maz...the lady sounds like a dream for many a committed chap.

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Ditch the GF and go dating would seem to be the obvious choice. Why string the relationship out if that, and punting are not fulfilling your needs?

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Ditch the GF and go dating would seem to be the obvious choice. Why string the relationship out if that, and punting are not fulfilling your needs?

 

Why ditch the girlfriend, maybe they get on very well in every other department of the relatinship. sex is not the only motivator in a relationship.

 

If the sex is not all that great, maybe it can be raised in the relationship to improve.

 

The OP did not ask for a relationship councellour, or what to do with the rest of his life according to what I read.

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Lots of guys and girls have this sort of relationship and Mazz is right as long as the boundaries are set in stone, I can't see why it wouldn't work. I can think of many girls that would be very happy to have a couple of regulars on this basis and not have to worry about having to meet new clients all the time. Regular reliable money coming in without having to worry about the safety issues in meeting new guys all the time is a good thing in my book.

If I was working now and not in a settled relationship I may have been happy with this myself for a whole host of reasons.

But (and this is the difficult bit), finding someone that's suitable might be the hard bit. Lots of girls would shy away from it, many girls prefer not to have regulars getting too involved so relish new clients all the time, others are scared of boundaries getting crossed and so on.

I think others are right though, you need to work on your self esteem and body image or maybe consider getting closer to the girlfriend again.

Edited by Holly Maddison

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Would it not be better to find a best friend, and not get too involved with an escort, considering you also have a GF.

 

There are Parlours who have some great ladies, and they can always be found working there, maybe that will be more what you are looking for, rather than a mistress.

 

Not than I would try to put you off seeking Maz as a possable, but you would have to be very very lucky to find one like Maz...the lady sounds like a dream for many a committed chap.

Trouble is you can't fuck your friends hunni, that definitely doesn't work.

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Trouble is you can't fuck your friends hunni, that definitely doesn't work.

I'll second that!

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I had to reply didn't I ;) .

If and I do mean if you got a lady to agree to this then the boundaries must be cast in stone and fully understood by both parties. What is expected must also be cast in stone and fully understood. How much is paid and for what must also be sorted out.

I am a mistress and sometimes I wish it was the kind of arrangement you are looking for as with emotions involved, albeit waning on my part, it is not easy.

Whereabouts in the country are you looking?

Nothing wrong with replying, especially with a post which does cover some key points. Boundaries wise, I personally think I would not have a problem as it is very clear in my mind what the arrangement would be about.

I am looking in the south Hampshire area but I have been known to travel for p to two hours for a punt.

Why ditch the girlfriend, maybe they get on very well in every other department of the relatinship. sex is not the only motivator in a relationship.

If the sex is not all that great, maybe it can be raised in the relationship to improve.

Exactly - every other area of the relationship is amazing, just the sex can be lacking - she works too hard so is usually tired, when she has been off for a few days the sex is amazing but there are certain things she won't do which I enjoy too much to not have at all.

The bigger problem is the infrequency and lack of intimacy due to me being away studying.

Punting fulfils most of the needs when I find a nice girl (problem is, the ones who I have found and clicked with seem to be the ones too far away from me to see regularly) I am just wondering if there can be something a bit more consistent.

Would it not be better to find a best friend, and not get too involved with an escort, considering you also have a GF.

There are Parlours who have some great ladies, and they can always be found working there, maybe that will be more what you are looking for, rather than a mistress.

Been there, done that on the friend front twice (two separate friends) - emotions got so blurred that it was an absolute disaster and each time took two or three other friendships with it.

As for parlours, I must admit it is not something I am so keen on. I have mainly seen indie girls and when I haven't, the service has been robotic and rushed.

Thanks for all the replies so far, definitely giving a good insight in to other people's thoughts :)

Edited by Anuath

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Anauth, I really don’t think that what you are looking for is at all strange or out of the ordinary in my experience, and you have enough years of punting under your belt to understand the vagaries of this pursuit. So, yes, you may be accused of naivety by some – the “never believe a word you’re told…”, they’ll tell you what you want to hear…” they’re only in it for the money and are glad to see you out the door…” brigade, but that’s a failure to understand that this isn’t a one size fits all industry.

 

In over 10 years of playing this game I’ve seen almost 80 different WGs and had about 230 punts, but 120 of those have been with just four ladies because one of the ‘experiences’ I seek closely matches your requirement and, certainly in 3 if not quite all 4 of the cases, that is what I achieved. There has been a little overlap between the ladies, but not much as they tend to retire or move on, and the frequency of my visits is generally about once a month and the duration anything between 2 and 6 hours. In between I have little or no contact other than to arrange my next tryst. (I can hear that word raising some hackles as I write it!)

 

The thought of an affair or mistress fills me with horror, but this arrangement has all the intimacy I require but with that one clearly defined barrier – the fee. For me it’s a perfect marriage of conveniences and I can see no better way of achieving it.

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Trouble is you can't fuck your friends hunni, that definitely doesn't work.

 

I meant a male friend/a best pal/ a mate to go out to clubs with/ someone who knows and understands you/a punting pal even.

 

dont get too close to a mistress as thats not going to be ideal for your GF...better to have a best mate, ( male) and a reg escort for sexy fun.

Edited by spklors

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Anuath

 

I don't see that you can't achieve what you're looking for with an escort.  I have a great relationship with my favourite regular, although I have to admit it doesn't involve too much talking. :unsure:  ^_^

 

As long as you have the discipline to know that as soon as you cross the threshold you are entering a fantasy world that ends the moment you leave her house / apartment I think you can make of it whatever you want.

 

Calynx put it very well.

 

i know this might not be the response you are looking for but have you ever considered embarking on a rigorous exercise and diet routine so that you would be more confident in your body + working on self improvement and social skills so that you can pick up in a bar?

 

sorry if this is not the response you wanted but just putting it out there...

Tharg, you're quite keen on these types of 'helpful' suggestions are you not?  If you're the paragon of virtue, leading by example on the self improvement front, why are you still hanging about on a punting forum?  Is it a case of do as I say, not as I do? Just putting it out there...

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Tharg, you're quite keen on these types of 'helpful' suggestions are you not?  If you're the paragon of virtue, leading by example on the self improvement front, why are you still hanging about on a punting forum?  Is it a case of do as I say, not as I do? Just putting it out there...

 

We all think we know some answers, and post them to show some knowledge, but knowing whats right and wrong can make life shitty, thats why we play at being a punter and seeing escorts. its the edge of life that makes it more intresting.

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I think one of the limits that must be discussed very early is whether you expect the lady concerned to continue escorting with other guys when she doesn't have a date set up with you.

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I think you are sort of looking for a 'regular' escort.Many men want the gfe with a regular lady.Always make sure that the boundaries are in place though as are your emotions.

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My first reaction was get a new girlfriend! Surely if she was the one you would be fulfilled in terms of intimacy regardless how infrequently you see her. I do however understand if you have financial or child ties why it might be hard to leave her. I get that some men need sex, so I am not critisising you for paying for sex.

In practical terms find a regular escort, which is what you are really looking for. Most women are not in this to be mistresses and have their own relationships anyway.

Finding the right one will take trial and error and will happen naturally. You can't predict if a chemistry will happen from a website or reccomendation from someone else.

Try looking for a full time escort who is more likely to be available and takes her job seriously, she will more likely to be open to a regular client as they are often our bread and butter! Look for one who comes across as bright and intelligent on her website, someone you feel has personality is more likely to keep you stimulated mentally . Think about looking for a mate rather than picking someone on just their looks.

Be warned, don't tell her you are looking for a reg. We tend to think men who say that are after discounts or as a ploy to get a girl to give more because we're so desperate for a regular! It is sadly a tactic by some less nice clients who can come across as arrogant.

Edited by MinxyLydia

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I have said that to a few ladies who I wanted to see as a regular, and indeed have been able to say that two out of the four are just that, as they took me at my word.

 

The third I dont see so often because of what took place with a flatmate.

 

And the fourth scammed me.

 

I dont think it will put me off saying so again, as if I feel a click with someone, and all the signs are in place that they could be a regular, I dont think its wrong to say so, and would certainly never expect a escort to drop her price because of that, or give me special attention.

 

If the escort was to assume that I had said it for reasons other than what I meant, then it would sour the booking. 

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And for the escorts on the forum - would you consider having a relationship like this or is it something you have you have ever done?

For both: is this a fairly uncommon result for an ongoing regular client-provider scenario or am I just seeing the wrong girls?

And I suppose the ultimate question: is there a better way to achieve what I want?

 

 

I have had such 'arrangements' twice.  I was exclusive to both gents [not at the same time obviously... years apart actually]

 

Would you want the lady to be exlusive to you? How often would you want to see her? How do you plan to pay? Can you afford to have a paid mistress?

 

pof.com comes to mind. There you can filter your search i.e. if you are looking for casual encounters etc. Do be honest up front if you choose to go through the social/dating sites route. At the same time, do not give away personal information e.g. where you work, where you live, and other personal details about your life/ You don't want no bunny boiler on your tail!!!

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I think one of the limits that must be discussed very early is whether you expect the lady concerned to continue escorting with other guys when she doesn't have a date set up with you.

I would not expect her to stop escorting - I am looking for consistency and possibly something a little more than just paying for sex but I wouldn't expect a person to completely change her way of life.

I have had such 'arrangements' twice.  I was exclusive to both gents [not at the same time obviously... years apart actually]

 

Would you want the lady to be exlusive to you? How often would you want to see her? How do you plan to pay? Can you afford to have a paid mistress?

I would not be looking for her to be exclusive to me - it would be completely out of order for me to expect her not to see other people if I am there with my GF.

Frequency wise, not sure. Really does depend on how much the lady would be charging, whether things like going for a meal were paid or social time and whether she wanted any services from me (photography, driving, PC repairs - this has happened). Despite studying, I do have income and I can magic away a couple of hundred a month very easily with more being a possibility dependant on work, etc.

pof.com comes to mind. There you can filter your search i.e. if you are looking for casual encounters etc. Do be honest up front if you choose to go through the social/dating sites route. At the same time, do not give away personal information e.g. where you work, where you live, and other personal details about your life/ You don't want no bunny boiler on your tail!!!

I'll have a look - thanks for the suggestion. As I said in my first post, I made the switch to escorts as I found it would probably work out cheaper than the relatively high-maintenance fuck-buddies I have had previously.

My first reaction was get a new girlfriend! Surely if she was the one you would be fulfilled in terms of intimacy regardless how infrequently you see her. I do however understand if you have financial or child ties why it might be hard to leave her.

I'll be blunt about this now - not going to happen. I love her to bits and we connect on every level other than sex. We even connect sexually when she is not exhausted from work, but that is another issue. The distance does get in the way however the distance is only a temporary situation until I get my qualification. There are no child ties (yet) or financial motivation (I would be better off financially if I didn't have a GF)

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I had the most wonderful time with one of the extremes/specials girls about 5 years ago which turned into a regular paid mistress/GF style affair. Having had experience I can say if you are lucky enough to engineer such a situation its well worth trying. 

 

It was never planned - at the time the parlour I visited regularly I was very happy with. They were a mainly east end based branch of parlours and at the time had an outpost in walthamstow which proved very handy for me geographically. They also were an exclusively thai girl operation at the time - which is my particular predilection. They managed to get an amazingly good quality line up working for them at a cut-price rate. Some girls were seriously agency quality. To top it off at one point they were offering £80 per hour with OWO and CIM! Try beating that value now.

 

The big 'but' to their operation however was that if there was one girl who you particularly clicked with you never knew when in the week she would be back as they never gave their girls regular slots.

 

Once such maiden was a girl called Mindy and clicked we surely did. Sufficiently so that we swapped numbers. The idea was to just find out when she was working next, but it soon became clear she liked me sufficiently that she was happy to offer me a freelance arrangement. 

 

I still remember the thrill of excitement receiving her first text - 'it me mindy'

 

I used to cycle out to her place near wanstead park and she'd be waiting for me in a dressing gown with very little on underneath. She'd let me in, bathe me in her bath. Give me lovely prolonged oral and then we'd dry off and retire to her bedroom. Sometimes she'd try sexy outfits on for me first - I still have a memory seared into my mind of her blowing me in front of her full length mirror, with killer heels and a litle mini-skirt on. Other times we'd go straight to the bed and have lovely long  prolonged sessions of massage and oral play leading to sex. Like most thai girls I have experienced she was extremely accomplished in bed and was always happy to give me a CIM finish (which my own girlfriend had foresworn years ago) a couple of times she even swallowed. God it was good. I volunteered to pay her what I paid at the walthamstow branch at the time and she seemed more than happy with that arrangement. In fact she never asked for the money I always had to bring the matter up. She never clockwatched, in fact our sessions would last a minimum of an hour and a half sometimes two and one time when I got up to go she put her arms around me and asked me to stay. Sadly, I couldn't.

 

The intimacy of the sessions, the fact that they took place on her turf, surrounded by her own clothes and pics of family, the sex in her own bed, the fact that she seemed to genuinely enjoy my company all gave it a special rose tinted glow for me. I often wonder if I had been single ( I had a GF at the time - which she knew about) whether I might not have taken the plunge and taken things further with her. Probably not, still a bit of a risk too far... but a small part of me still ponders on that. She had no illusions, she knew it was a paid arrangement, but I did get flashes she also might have imagined the same.

 

The arrangement lasted for 6-8months till one day she told me she'd been offered some work in Oxford and that was the last of that for me. In short, it left a big hole. Not only did I miss her loads but I also missed the arrangement and I guess I have been trying to find another Mindy ever since - sadly to no avail, although the looking process has also been fun ;).

 

So in conclusion I completely understand what the poster is looking for. I hope he gets lucky too, as I know I will always have those treasured memories to keep me warm in my dotage - even if I never find another Mindy!

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Despite studying, I do have income and I can magic away a couple of hundred a month very easily with more being a possibility dependant on work, etc.

Sounds to me your just looking for a reliable regular at that amount of cash. Most mistresses even paid ones would cost a lot more I'm afraid.

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