pollyp23

How Us Members On Here Have Become Conditioned To 'normality'.

51 posts in this topic

I've allways had a reputation for debasing sexual things, or, indeed, turning none sexual conversations into phnarr, phnarr type conversations.

 

But have we, as SPs and Punters become conditioned to what is the 'norm'?

 

For example, I often stand up in defence of Escorts and Punters, saying that they are not all as portrayed, i.e. druggies and drop outs and for the Punters, they are not all sexual predators preying on helpless Women.

 

But have I and all of us on here become tarnished when we look at Prositution?

 

Do our views and experiences reflect normality? Does Mumsnet reflect normality? Are the readers of the papers normal?

 

Perhaps the truth is somewhere inbetween?

 

I'm just about to post about care homes bringing in Prostitutes: perhaps my views on this are not normal, being biased by my involvement in the 'trade'?

 

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It's like the four blind men trying to describe an elephant. One feels the trunk and says they are like snakes. Another feels the tail and says they are tiny and thin. And so on. I think here there is a particular type of punter and wg, ones who like the fun of the written word. Also there is a ban on sections of prostitution  such as street girls. So, our "truth" is not the whole truth of prostitution. The much derided feminists see the women who are abused and exploited and that is their truth.

There is a lovely Americanism for it "The Black Feminist Lesbian Syndrome!" a black lesbian femminish joked that everyone she met was either black, femminist and a lesbian and she naturally assumed everyone in the world was also black, femminist and gay.

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My opiinon I guess has changed but more in the area of reaction to women. I now hardly get aroused by women when they are clothed. Its only in the setting of a massage parlour and women in state of partial undress does my libido kick in. Out in 'civvy' land it doesn't matter how attractive women are I rarely bother looking now. Yet I can remember the flash of a thigh use to shut down my brain.

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My opiinon I guess has changed but more in the area of reaction to women. I now hardly get aroused by women when they are clothed. Its only in the setting of a massage parlour and women in state of partial undress does my libido kick in. Out in 'civvy' land it doesn't matter how attractive women are I rarely bother looking now. Yet I can remember the flash of a thigh use to shut down my brain.

That's interesting: years ago, a bare breast/nipple would do it for me, then it became full nudity, then, etc. What was turning me on became more and more graphic, though I still admire a good cleavage and the chance to spot a bit of nipple!

 

I have been jaded by the availability of porn and my norm (if you recall my poll on what sexaul acts you have done only with an Escort, not with your Wife/Partner) is that women should suck me off and to come over their faces and in their mouths.

 

Scarely the kind of thing that is 'normal', at least no on mumsnet.

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My normal is your abnormal. It's just impossible to define.

 

Perhaps a guideline might be to ask "would I say this or that around the dinner table with 2 other couples"?  If you would be happy talking with your finds from the golf club of the lounge bar of your local,  about prostitution, oral sex, CIM, BDSM etc without blushing then perhaps your standards are not what they were.

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Become conditioned to normality?  I have a hard time making sense of that.  Tarnished in what sense?  Gotta love our language.

 

 

Normal, what's that?  In a society like ours it doesn't mean much with so much variation in norms and standards across space, cultural background and generations, from prudes to reckless freaks everywhere.

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I've been into the fetish scene for 19 years, and once apon a time I used to really get turned on by your run of the mill porn vid, now it has to have some kinky element to it in order to get turned on. I don't have any friends outside  the sex industry or fetish scene either, so it's really strange when someone outside the fetish scene doesn't understand it and I find I have to reel myself in so as not to embarress myself or shock the hell out of them. 

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Its more to do with collective thinking than normality, or sheep mentality as I like to call it. I don't think there is any such thing as normality when you apply it to a mind set. In our world this is the normality, in Mumsnet world their mind set is the normality.

Also you have this thing that if you tell someone that something is true then it has to be true. We have been portrayed as the dregs of society for so long from so many various fractions, so therefore we have to be the dregs of society by that reasoning.

One day society will wake up, smell the coffee and realise that's its far from the way its portrayed, we don't all have contagious STD's, foul smelling diseased pussies, drink and drug problems any more than the delightful women in places like Mumsnet. Until that day I'm afraid all of us here by majority thinking are extremely abnormal, and very nice it is too.

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There are some people who are normal. mainly because they are more normal than most other people. there are various attributable factors and significant characteristics to such people. But because of the sheer normality of such people, we see no difference from one to the other.

 

People who acquire normality, do so simply by being themselves. Even so its a major achievement for them, and would not be possible if they were not who they are.

 

I am not normal, I am odd.

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What is the mumsnet line or normal for them ?

 

I just went over there to have a quick look and the first thing I read in the feminist section is a rant about young girls dressing up with everything on show and then ignoring guys, and how crap it is here going out to bars and clubs which I could almost have written myself!

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It's like the four blind men trying to describe an elephant. One feels the trunk and says they are like snakes. Another feels the tail and says they are tiny and thin. And so on. I think here there is a particular type of punter and wg, ones who like the fun of the written word. Also there is a ban on sections of prostitution  such as street girls. So, our "truth" is not the whole truth of prostitution. The much derided feminists see the women who are abused and exploited and that is their truth.

There is a lovely Americanism for it "The Black Feminist Lesbian Syndrome!" a black lesbian femminish joked that everyone she met was either black, femminist and a lesbian and she naturally assumed everyone in the world was also black, femminist and gay.

i think this is an excellent reply. our norm is only based on the experiences we have lived. and none of us have experienced everything. so yes, i would say the truth lies somewhere in the middle. 

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What is the mumsnet line or normal for them ?

 

I just went over there to have a quick look and the first thing I read in the feminist section is a rant about young girls dressing up with everything on show and then ignoring guys, and how crap it is here going out to bars and clubs which I could almost have written myself!

 

I live in a pre-dominantly muslim area and the young women go around dressed like Darth Vader!

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I

 

Become conditioned to normality?  I have a hard time making sense of that.  Tarnished in what sense?  Gotta love our language.

 

 

Normal, what's that?  In a society like ours it doesn't mean much with so much variation in norms and standards across space, cultural background and generations, from prudes to reckless freaks everywhere.

IN which case, what or whom is an 'alternative' comic? Alternative to what?

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My opiinon I guess has changed but more in the area of reaction to women. I now hardly get aroused by women when they are clothed. Its only in the setting of a massage parlour and women in state of partial undress does my libido kick in. Out in 'civvy' land it doesn't matter how attractive women are I rarely bother looking now. Yet I can remember the flash of a thigh use to shut down my brain.

Nothing to do with seeing escorts.

 

That's interesting: years ago, a bare breast/nipple would do it for me, then it became full nudity, then, etc. What was turning me on became more and more graphic, though I still admire a good cleavage and the chance to spot a bit of nipple!

Nothing to do with seeing escorts.

 

I've been into the fetish scene for 19 years, and once apon a time I used to really get turned on by your run of the mill porn vid, now it has to have some kinky element to it in order to get turned on.  

Nothing to do with seeing escorts.

 

I'm afraid what you are all describing is what's called getting older.   The following is an excerpt of an article by Dr Everold Hosein in May 2012:

'Now here is another phenomenon which confounds couples as they age: As a

young man, one can become sexually aroused by the mere sight of a female

form. A photo of a bra can prompt an erection. So too the vibration of a

bus. Just sitting in a taxi next to a woman (and not even touching)

provokes an erection. But as one ages, these stimuli are not sufficient

for arousal. And this too is part of natural physiological body changes as

one ages.

After the age of 50, a man requires longer and more direct intense

stimulation in order to achieve an erection and arrive at orgasm. When the

couple was younger, the man would see the woman across the living room and

instantly become aroused and rush to the couch … or floor. But now in

one’s 50s, there is no urge to rush to the couch even though there might

be sexual interest. The woman again interprets this as lack of sexual

interest in her and further withdraws. And what the man needs in this

instance is more direct handling by her.

Aging brings with it other changes in sexual response. As they age, women

will experience less vaginal lubrication in the stage of sexual arousal.

This could contribute to painful or uncomfortable sex but is easily taken

care of with a liberal dose of K-Y jelly or other creams available at

pharmacies.

Aging men may experience less force in their ejaculation. In youth the

ejaculate may spurt to a distance of 12-24 cm; as one gets older, the

distance is a lot less and may even dwindle to what some researchers refer

to as “seepage”. When young, he is able to retain an erection for some

half hour or so after ejaculation; as one gets older, detumescence after

ejaculation is rather quick.

For both men and women, as one ages the production of testosterone in the

body decreases. Testosterone is vital for the “lust” component of sex and

one should anticipate some decrease in sexual drive. We are talking about

a decrease, not elimination.'

 

You're all just getting older!

 

I live in a pre-dominantly muslim area and the young women go around dressed like Darth Vader!

 

How do you know it's not Darth Vader?

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IN which case, what or whom is an 'alternative' comic? Alternative to what?

 

It's usually an alternative to being funny!! :ph34r:  

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Good thread! 

 

My normality?

The BlondReceptionist at my current hotel must have seen me kiss my regular in the lobby for months now (slight hug and peck is the local way of saying hello). LovelyReg usually jumps out of driven-car at 2100 sharp, with very discreet cleavage, some lovely legging-showing skirt, and a bottle of red wine (often loosly in hand). We greet with a polite hug, and move upstairs (elevator-keycards!). Receptionist will pretend not to notice. 

LovelyReg will leave alone, 3hrs or so later, with perfect timing by driver.

 

My imagination ?

BlondReceptionist has become much more friendly, chatty, over the last few weeks, and now sports this naughty, eyes-from-corners, look when she says "good evening mr L, how are you doing today?". And when BlondReceptionist is doing "omelet service" at breakfast buffet, she seems to pay Extra attention to my particular omelet (I do have a precise specification), extra juice, more toast, double-espresso coffee, etc... Very Good!

I would swear BR is looking for a piece of the action/budget, but she may well think: "what a pork" and just be professional about saying good evening to LR.

 

I'm probably just projecting my own version of normality.

(wonder if any of them read mumsnet - lol...)

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my opinions have changed simply by being in the industry and realising that the stereotypes non industry people hold are not the norm, or from my experience they are not. I dont think its that we are conditioned at all, its just that we have a much rounder view on the subject than others not in the industry as we have seen both sides of the coin. Theirs is a one sided opinion based on gleaned information, ours isn't.

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I had a debate not so long ago on a different board that has nothing to do with the sex industry.

I was one of only two people who were happy to admit to punting and put my argument across.

No matter what facts or statistics or anecdotal knowledge I could come up with to the conrary  I was still being slated for preying on poor innocent trafficked girls who were hooked on drugs and dragged half way accross the world to be forced into sex slavery by evil pimps.

 

I got really tired of banging my head against the wall...

Edited by Trident83

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I had a debate not so long ago on a different board that has nothing to do with the sex industry.

I was one of only two people who were happy to admit to punting and put my argument across.

No matter what facts or statistics or anecdotal knowledge I could come up with to the conrary  I was still being slated for preying on poor innocent trafficked girls who were hooked on drugs and dragged half way accross the world to be forced into sex slavery by evil pimps.

 

I got really tired of banging my head against the wall...

 

yep, which is why a good debate is so difficult.

doesnt the other side see that they are also banging their head against a wall ?

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the human race and "civilised society" is hideously dysfunctional so i really could give a fuck what is considered "normality"

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People who go hunting - blast ducks out of the sky without blinking any eyelid - that's normaiity for them and I think it's horrible.

What punters and whores get up to is normal to them - horriible to the general public.

 

People who collect stamps, trainspot, paint, do jigsaws - I envy those people - nobody thinks that what they do is horrible.

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'Normality' is vastly overrated

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Perhaps we've just found a place that lets us relax and be ourselves. Being open and honest about my (perfectly natural) obsession with sex, and chatting about it seems fine to me... Is there any way to tell if I've become conditioned to that here, or I was conditioned not to talk about stuff like this everywhere else?

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People who collect stamps, trainspot, paint, do jigsaws - I envy those people - nobody thinks that what they do is horrible.

Instead they are the butt of many jokes and especially with stamps and trains considered sad and in some ways subnormal.

As for the topic in hand.What i've found amusing in various writings on the topic of prostitution is the way that all prostitution is considered as violence against the woman involved,all punters hate women,are potential rapists and are violent towards all women.However,they don't hold similar views for male prostitution and their punters.

Oh i almost forgot,most punters are apparently lower working class with little education.

There is no norm,just what society at that particular stage in time tells us and that will always be subject to change

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