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FredDeHead

How We Loose Virginity Shapes Rest Of Our Sexual Lives.

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I'd love to get a grant to perform thse types of studies LOL

Tripped across below & of course I'm curious as to how folks here popped their cherries*?

Not so sure how a sample from southern US compares to UK but anyhoo....

 

* I was a late bloomer and almost out of my teens, I was scared sh*tless & could just about manage to make the beast with two backs, I then lasted all of about three minutes.
The girl was pretty & nice. I tsill credit here for having rubbers haha . We hung out for a few weeks before she drifted off to my buddy, the wanton slut (jk).
Overall my first experience was anxious but once I hit my stride I haven't looked back ;->

 

~~~~

 

Study: How We Lose Our Virginity Shapes Our Entire Sexual Life
By Lindsay Abrams
Those who had more positive initiations into sex scored higher for sexual satisfaction and esteem later on, and reported less "sexual depression."


PROBLEM: Common knowledge says that sex the first time is usually not-so-great; something to be endured more than enjoyed, as an initiation into sexual adulthood. But what if there's even more pressure on that situation than we realize, and how it goes the first time affects the sex you have for the rest of your life?*


METHODOLOGY: Researchers at the Universities of Tennessee and Mississippi grilled undergrads -- 206 women and 113 men -- about when and how they lost their virginity. How content were they? To what degree did they regret it?*Their first-time experiences were characterized in terms of "anxiety" "negativity," "connection" and "afterglow." *

They asked the students to rate their current sex lives in terms of sense of control, satisfaction, and general well-being. Then for the next two weeks, they had them keep sex diaries describing and rating all of their "sexual interactions" (any encounter "in which the purpose was sexual arousal").

RESULTS: Positive first-time experiences reliably predicted physical and emotional satisfaction in later sexual interactions. Those who had more positive initiations into sex scored higher for sexual satisfaction and esteem later on, and reported less "sexual depression." Feeling loved and respected by one's partner was associated with more emotional satisfaction later on, and physical satisfaction, even when controlling for the overall emotional experience, was self-perpetuating as well. Anxiety and negativity experienced when losing one's virginity was associated with lower overall sexual functioning.*

CONCLUSION: "These results suggest that one's first-time sexual experience is more than just a milestone in development," wrote the authors. "Rather, it appears to have implications for their sexual well-being years later."

IMPLICATIONS: "While this study doesn't prove that a better first time makes for a better sex life in general, a person's experience of losing their virginity may set the pattern for years to come," said author Matthew Shaffer, who suggested that thought and behavior patterns may be formed the first time we have sex and then guide future experiences.

But none of the participants in the study could have been having sex for that long -- the biggest gap between reported loss of virginity and the time of the study was 7 years, and for some, it was only a few months. In other words, they were still really young, and presumably had many, many more "years to come" of sexual experience. We can hope that things change as you get older and more comfortable in your body. Anyone want to volunteer to make an "It Gets Better" video for awful first times?

The full study, "Gone But Not Forgotten: Virginity Loss and Current Sexual Satisfaction," is published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy .

Article with papr ref available here.

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Not sure of the logic in this "survey". I was a petrol head before I got laid; that fact that my first time was in a car has not made me any more or less of a petrol head! Make of that what you will.

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My 1st time was about 2 hours after I got my GCSE results .... a girl in my class came around to mine, no one was home, we both got better than expected results, we celebrated by doing the deed ( 1st time for both of us ) .......

 

Maybe that's why I excelled academically .....the rewards on offer where worth the hard work !!....

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Yes this money could instead be spent on cancer research etc..

 

Psychology when done badly is the study of the minds of largely white American undergraduate students only.

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I lost mine to a working girl in Soho, it was over and done with in 10 minutes (the whole appointment, the sex lasted much less time!) and I came out utterly disappointed by the whole affair, and almost, to be completely honest, felt tricked by women...In that they'd all refused me something which I'd found to be quite dull and I'd certainly had better wanks. ahem.

 

Fortunately later girlfriends showed me just how amazing sex could be, and now I love the stuff. I just wish I could afford it more often!

So in conclusion: Report makes large generalisation, is fairly pointless.

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I lost my virginity to a beautiful girl whilst tripping on magic mushrooms (at least I'm pretty sure she was beautiful :wacko:) .

 

Probably speaks volumes for how I turned out. :blink: + :ph34r: = :cool:

 

How would that fit into their research?

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:  

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FFS the word is lose not loose. Read the title of the study.

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Not sure of the logic in this "survey". I was a petrol head before I got laid; that fact that my first time was in a car has not made me any more or less of a petrol head! Make of that what you will.

How is that girl and her experience of lying on your handbrake? :o

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FFS the word is lose not loose. Read the title of the study.

Don't you lose your virginity to an ahem 'loose' girl?

My aplogies I was typing quickly you grumpy git :P

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I "lost" it in my late teens to a lady I met on an adult dating site.  Great you say, until you realise that we were outside in a bush on a sunny day with old people occasionally walking by :S Add to that, i found out that normal size condoms really are too small for me and I ruined a nice suede jacket!

 

obviously this experience has contributed to my sexual depravity and must be the reason I punt, LOL ;)

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I was very lucky. My first time was truly special, with a really beautiful English girl, we were both in love, she was far more experienced than I was, it all felt natural, flowing, easy and very enjoyable - we stayed together for a good number of years, and sexually she really spoilt me for other women - she was readily and multi-orgasmic, we almost always came simultaneously during sex and she was very horny, open, full of enthusiasm for the physical side of the relationship and initiated sex just as often as I did.

 

I guess that experience shaped me towards being strongly attracted to sexually confident and experienced women who really know what theyre doing.

 

And am generally fairly turned off by shy, shrinking violet, unexperienced types and certainly by women who really dont know what theyre doing in the bedroom, even more so by the strictly missionary, in n out, vanilla types.

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Always enjoy reading accounts of the first time. What makes me laugh are these daft surveys where men claim to have regretted having sex too early, as if? More depressing cos prob true, is the fact that the better looking you are the earlier it happens. I had fimosis or a version of it, so had too wait until adult circumcision at the age of 20, before full penetration , but my first chance of doing the deed was at 17, with a girl in a highland forest,, as is the way in Scotland, we were both pissed., Saw her the other day in a pub, she has aged well. For men its the first ejaculation that counts, I suspect.  

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We did not need a survey to tell us this.

 

I suspect that confident teenagers have good first experiences because they can get the partner they want to have their first shag with - consequently the shag is good. But being confident about their sexuality they go through life having good experiences with the opposite sex.

 

""My first time was truly special, with a really beautiful English girl, we were both in love," (Bill Goldberg illustrates my point and I doubt if luck had anything to do with it)

 

The insecure lot - like me - blundered into a first experience - mainly out of desperation - with a pro or somebody else totally unsuitable - and it was bad. But being insecure caused a lifetime of poor experiences.

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I lost my virginity (aged 16, with a lovely girl about whom I still think sometimes) in the attic of my parent's house.

 

I wonder if the attic has anything to do with my horror of committment and love of punting?

 

If I gave a fuck I'd say I think we should be told.

 

There are even sillier topics that get grants for study in the world of academe according to my spies.

 

Perhaps I should have worked harder at my degree. :D :D

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I lost my virginity to Mrs L a year after we married. That year of confusion and shame kicked the shit out of my sexual confidence for 30 years. I still find myself pathetically grateful working girls deign to have sex with me

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I was also a late starter.   A very late starter.  I lost my virginity at the grand old age of 29 years old.  I got it done in The Philippines which has now become my 2nd home.  It has given me something to aim for.  I aim to retire there between 40-45.  

 

I did a warts 'n all trip report on Asian Escapades (a Philippines oriented website) documenting my tribulations.  If anyone's interested, this is a snippet of the actual deed itself.  I just need to point out that the naive, timid fool in this trip report has grown up considerably between the ages of 29 and his current age of 33!

 

With each passing day, week, month and year, I just could not see any way in which I was going to rid myself of my virginity. The best way to do it was to become a sex tourist and it seemed virtually impossible to fail at hitting the bullseye Angeles. With time off confirmed from work, and eventually routing myself with Cathay Pacific, I found myself in Manila.


After a couple of days in Manila (where I was offered - but declined - several invitations to see pretty working women), I took the bus up to Angeles. Lonely Planet is my preferred travel guide, even though it is quite hypocritical in pointing out the best gay hangouts, but tries to avoid any mention of where the western tourist can pick up some local pussy. Lonely Planet described Fields Avenue as ‘tacky’ and I would have to agree with that sentiment. First impressions were not good as the place appeared much seedier than I expected.

Day 1

I had no accommodation booked as I could not be certain of what dates I would be in town, so I popped in to a few places to check out the availability and finally got something half decent at Natalia’s. After getting my bearings I freshened up and prepared to hit the town. I was so nervous, I was shitting bricks. I paced up and down my room for 20 minutes or so until 7.45pm when I forced myself out of my room and on to Fields Avenue. I had no set plan other than to visit a few bars. I walked from one end of Fields to the other, cowardly walking past all the door girls inviting my in to their bars. I was almost at the other end of Fields when I thought to myself that I’ll have to go into one these bars sooner or later, so promptly turned to my right and found myself in Shooterz.

I took a seat, ordered a coke and rather shyly watched the girls gyrate on stage. I was eventually accosted by a cherry girl and a waitress, Laya, aged 24. The conversation began with the expected age, nationality etc etc. Then Laya quite directly asked me if I was going to barfine her. I was too timid to say ‘no’ to anyone. Hell, mjibbo could have walked in wearing a short skirt and some lipstick and I would have probably barfined him as well. Thankfully, Laya was actually quite cute and for a peculiar character like me, it was always going to take someone quite forward to get me out of my shell. I had another coke and Laya was probably getting quite concerned that I was going to be too shy. With that, despite my protestations, she took my coke away and replaced it with a rum & coke. This had been my other concern before coming to Angeles as I am 100% tee-total, owing to a history of alcoholism in my family. Fuck it, I thought. I had the rum & coke, even though it tasted vile.

With that, we went on my first barhop. Laya changed her clothes and wore a pair of jeans, and I do love a girl (with the right figure) in a pair of jeans. Overall, I had 5 or 6 rum & cokes. This was the first time in my life I had ever drank a decent amount of alcohol. I did not feel that drunk at all. Certainly I was a little dizzy and was in no fit state to drive a car, but I still had all my wits about me and felt fairly lucid. I’m quite sure I could have gone to work there and then and still be quite productive. Ultimately though, drinking booze was absolutely necessary. As I said, although I didn’t feel terribly drunk, it gave me an excuse to me more outlandish than I would normally be.

The barhop culminated in Skytrax where, and this shows my naivety, I was stunned when she stuck her tongue down my throat. Kissing, I wrongly assumed, was something I though would be absent from Angeles.

We went back to my hotel room where she got on the phone and ordered 2 San Miguels. I tried to drink one heavily diluted with coke, but I couldn’t. I would have rather licked a mans bell end. I visited the bathroom to mentally prepare for what was about to follow but when I came out, Laya was crashed out. I’m not sure if she was genuinely pissed off her head, or just didn’t want to do boom boom. The latter, I suspect. She probably knew I was very inexperienced, although I hadn’t told her I was a virgin, and we had not discussed having sex either. I wasn’t quite sure what to do here, so stripped down to my underwear and laid down next to her, whilst she was fully clothed! She pulled my arm over to let me fondle her for the night, and that was it.

As morning arrived, she ordered 2 breakfasts to be sent up to my room. Once this was over, boom boom was sure to follow! But no. Neither of us ate very much and she crashed out again! At 2pm, she said her goodbyes and left! I have no doubt that Angeles veterans would be furious at this but, in all honesty, this was probably a good introduction for me. Although she evidently took me for a ride, I was quite satisfied with this learning experience. 

Day 2

I though it would be a good idea to check out Alaska. As I strolled down Fields, I realised I had walked past Alaska so turned to my right and was hauled into Brown Sugar. Again, I sat at a table and order a coke and tried abysmally to make eye contact with a couple of the dancers. The TV screens in Brown Sugar were showing football (or ‘soccer,’ if you must) highlights and this probably demonstrated to me where women fit in with my priorities. They are definitely below football. A door girl came and sat next to me and we engaged in some awkward conversation (solely due to my own inabilities). She was called Aiza and aged 22. She was very average looking (maybe a 5 out of 10) but decent company. She kept asking why I would I preferred some of the dancers to her. I pointed to the CG on her shirt and, trying to appear like someone who knew what they were talking about, said I wasn’t going to barfine a Cherry Girl. She thought this was hilarious and explained this stood for ‘Champagne Group’ and, sure enough, every other girl also had ‘CG’ on their shirt. 

Although I was reluctant, she talked me into barfining her. Her friend said that she ‘will go boom boom 10 times,’ so at least we were going somewhat in the right direction.

We went on a barhop. Again, I had many rum & cokes (voluntarily) and was over the limit, but still had my senses.

We went back to my room where we both took a shower (separately, although she did make an offer of showering together). Had some foreplay where I completely astonished myself by going down on her and giving her oral sex. There was a thread about this a while back and I was in the camp that no way in hell would I go down on a prostitute. Well, I proved myself wrong and it was actually quite enjoyable. She was shaven, but it was still quite bristley, so evidently there were some hard to reach areas.

And then this is where it went rather embarrassingly wrong……..

Aiza grabbed hold of a condom and, to my horror, saw that my little man was rather flaccid. ‘Sleeping,’ she said. She tried to suck it (only a little bit) and played it with it for quite a while but, no matter what, it refused to stand to attention. I don’t know if this was a result of too much booze (I’m positive I had a boner when I was lying next to Laya) or if it was pre-match nerves. 

Aiza had given quite a soothing massage whilst in various bars, so asked her if she would give me a full massage now. She obliged and it was utterly excruciating as she tried to snap every vertebrae in my body. I rolled over as I had eventually obtained an erection and she got on top and started to straddle me. Right away, I could feel my poor member losing his strength so I concentrated on firing the load which I managed after about 1 minute before all me member’s strength was sapped

Not long after, Aiza asked curiously if I was finished. I cringed and blamed the alcohol. Well, I suppose I was officially no longer a virgin. It wasn’t particularly successful, but I had penetrated and ejaculated.

We slept and Aiza spent much of the night fiddling with my todger which rarely sprung to life. Another abortive attempt at sex was made so, on the occasions when it could manage it, she basically tossed me off and had to wash her hands twice!

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I was also a late starter.   A very late starter.  I lost my virginity at the grand old age of 29 years old.  I got it done in The Philippines which has now become my 2nd home.  It has given me something to aim for.  I aim to retire there between 40-45.  

 

I did a warts 'n all trip report on Asian Escapades (a Philippines oriented website) documenting my tribulations.  If anyone's interested, this is a snippet of the actual deed itself.  I just need to point out that the naive, timid fool in this trip report has grown up considerably between the ages of 29 and his current age of 33!

 

With each passing day, week, month and year, I just could not see any way in which I was going to rid myself of my virginity. The best way to do it was to become a sex tourist and it seemed virtually impossible to fail at hitting the bullseye Angeles. With time off confirmed from work, and eventually routing myself with Cathay Pacific, I found myself in Manila.

After a couple of days in Manila (where I was offered - but declined - several invitations to see pretty working women), I took the bus up to Angeles. Lonely Planet is my preferred travel guide, even though it is quite hypocritical in pointing out the best gay hangouts, but tries to avoid any mention of where the western tourist can pick up some local pussy. Lonely Planet described Fields Avenue as ‘tacky’ and I would have to agree with that sentiment. First impressions were not good as the place appeared much seedier than I expected.

Day 1

I had no accommodation booked as I could not be certain of what dates I would be in town, so I popped in to a few places to check out the availability and finally got something half decent at Natalia’s. After getting my bearings I freshened up and prepared to hit the town. I was so nervous, I was shitting bricks. I paced up and down my room for 20 minutes or so until 7.45pm when I forced myself out of my room and on to Fields Avenue. I had no set plan other than to visit a few bars. I walked from one end of Fields to the other, cowardly walking past all the door girls inviting my in to their bars. I was almost at the other end of Fields when I thought to myself that I’ll have to go into one these bars sooner or later, so promptly turned to my right and found myself in Shooterz.

I took a seat, ordered a coke and rather shyly watched the girls gyrate on stage. I was eventually accosted by a cherry girl and a waitress, Laya, aged 24. The conversation began with the expected age, nationality etc etc. Then Laya quite directly asked me if I was going to barfine her. I was too timid to say ‘no’ to anyone. Hell, mjibbo could have walked in wearing a short skirt and some lipstick and I would have probably barfined him as well. Thankfully, Laya was actually quite cute and for a peculiar character like me, it was always going to take someone quite forward to get me out of my shell. I had another coke and Laya was probably getting quite concerned that I was going to be too shy. With that, despite my protestations, she took my coke away and replaced it with a rum & coke. This had been my other concern before coming to Angeles as I am 100% tee-total, owing to a history of alcoholism in my family. Fuck it, I thought. I had the rum & coke, even though it tasted vile.

With that, we went on my first barhop. Laya changed her clothes and wore a pair of jeans, and I do love a girl (with the right figure) in a pair of jeans. Overall, I had 5 or 6 rum & cokes. This was the first time in my life I had ever drank a decent amount of alcohol. I did not feel that drunk at all. Certainly I was a little dizzy and was in no fit state to drive a car, but I still had all my wits about me and felt fairly lucid. I’m quite sure I could have gone to work there and then and still be quite productive. Ultimately though, drinking booze was absolutely necessary. As I said, although I didn’t feel terribly drunk, it gave me an excuse to me more outlandish than I would normally be.

The barhop culminated in Skytrax where, and this shows my naivety, I was stunned when she stuck her tongue down my throat. Kissing, I wrongly assumed, was something I though would be absent from Angeles.

We went back to my hotel room where she got on the phone and ordered 2 San Miguels. I tried to drink one heavily diluted with coke, but I couldn’t. I would have rather licked a mans bell end. I visited the bathroom to mentally prepare for what was about to follow but when I came out, Laya was crashed out. I’m not sure if she was genuinely pissed off her head, or just didn’t want to do boom boom. The latter, I suspect. She probably knew I was very inexperienced, although I hadn’t told her I was a virgin, and we had not discussed having sex either. I wasn’t quite sure what to do here, so stripped down to my underwear and laid down next to her, whilst she was fully clothed! She pulled my arm over to let me fondle her for the night, and that was it.

As morning arrived, she ordered 2 breakfasts to be sent up to my room. Once this was over, boom boom was sure to follow! But no. Neither of us ate very much and she crashed out again! At 2pm, she said her goodbyes and left! I have no doubt that Angeles veterans would be furious at this but, in all honesty, this was probably a good introduction for me. Although she evidently took me for a ride, I was quite satisfied with this learning experience. 

Day 2

I though it would be a good idea to check out Alaska. As I strolled down Fields, I realised I had walked past Alaska so turned to my right and was hauled into Brown Sugar. Again, I sat at a table and order a coke and tried abysmally to make eye contact with a couple of the dancers. The TV screens in Brown Sugar were showing football (or ‘soccer,’ if you must) highlights and this probably demonstrated to me where women fit in with my priorities. They are definitely below football. A door girl came and sat next to me and we engaged in some awkward conversation (solely due to my own inabilities). She was called Aiza and aged 22. She was very average looking (maybe a 5 out of 10) but decent company. She kept asking why I would I preferred some of the dancers to her. I pointed to the CG on her shirt and, trying to appear like someone who knew what they were talking about, said I wasn’t going to barfine a Cherry Girl. She thought this was hilarious and explained this stood for ‘Champagne Group’ and, sure enough, every other girl also had ‘CG’ on their shirt. 

Although I was reluctant, she talked me into barfining her. Her friend said that she ‘will go boom boom 10 times,’ so at least we were going somewhat in the right direction.

We went on a barhop. Again, I had many rum & cokes (voluntarily) and was over the limit, but still had my senses.

We went back to my room where we both took a shower (separately, although she did make an offer of showering together). Had some foreplay where I completely astonished myself by going down on her and giving her oral sex. There was a thread about this a while back and I was in the camp that no way in hell would I go down on a prostitute. Well, I proved myself wrong and it was actually quite enjoyable. She was shaven, but it was still quite bristley, so evidently there were some hard to reach areas.

And then this is where it went rather embarrassingly wrong……..

Aiza grabbed hold of a condom and, to my horror, saw that my little man was rather flaccid. ‘Sleeping,’ she said. She tried to suck it (only a little bit) and played it with it for quite a while but, no matter what, it refused to stand to attention. I don’t know if this was a result of too much booze (I’m positive I had a boner when I was lying next to Laya) or if it was pre-match nerves. 

Aiza had given quite a soothing massage whilst in various bars, so asked her if she would give me a full massage now. She obliged and it was utterly excruciating as she tried to snap every vertebrae in my body. I rolled over as I had eventually obtained an erection and she got on top and started to straddle me. Right away, I could feel my poor member losing his strength so I concentrated on firing the load which I managed after about 1 minute before all me member’s strength was sapped

Not long after, Aiza asked curiously if I was finished. I cringed and blamed the alcohol. Well, I suppose I was officially no longer a virgin. It wasn’t particularly successful, but I had penetrated and ejaculated.

We slept and Aiza spent much of the night fiddling with my todger which rarely sprung to life. Another abortive attempt at sex was made so, on the occasions when it could manage it, she basically tossed me off and had to wash her hands twice!

Thanks - that was a superb narrative - better than that brothel trash that was on here last week.

I knew a guy who used to rave about Angelee City - said that was the place to go. Though the experiences he describes sound a better than yours. It would have benefitted you to go with someone who knows the ropes.

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Havent read all the posts on this topic: however I have never shagged anyone on a park after drinking a bottle of Red Thunderbirds since :D

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My first time was with my first proper girlfriend, on the day we met. 

 

I did read somewhere about a study that indicated that your first partner influenced your preferred characteristics in a partner from then on. 

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first time still at school with then girlfriend found it a bit of a let down have been mainly poor at it ever since

and it mostly depends on the woman im with if i im gonna enjoy it due to lacking confidence

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