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Wondering What Other People Think?

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I've had this terrible habit for years where I just wonder what other people think of me. Even if I walk into the shop I sometimes get worried if the assistant is looking at me or when I'm at the gym or wherever. Does anyone sometimes feel this way when seeing a WG?

I know that a good WG is non judgemental and is there to share the experience with you, but still my mind tends to be racing - as with the above examples i'm thinking all kinds of things - Is she disappointed by my looks/body, the ways i'm performing, the things i'm saying, the way i come across, are her eyes closed coz she picturing someone else coz i'm not attractive? And I think all these things effect my day to day life in general.

 

I keep saying to myself, if i do see a WG again at some point, i'm just going to go in there with all the confidence in the world and be a friendly, charming, sweet mofo. Probably wont happen though as i'll become really self concious and start thinking all the above.  Does anyone else ever get this?  And how does one combat it?

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Been there, done that, got the t-shirt - but strangely never with a WG.

 

For me, knowing a WG is a sure thing leaves me only thinking about the pleasure of her company.  For this reason I have never, ever felt nervous in seeing a WG, not even my first ever visit.

 

Tell a lie, sometimes I feel nervous seeing a WG I already know, bizarrely enough.  It's something to do with having had such a good experience in the past I start wondering if the next meeting can possibly live up to the last. 

 

Usually, this only lasts until I see her smile as I walk through the door. :)

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I worry if the assistant isn't looking at me.

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Pretty much the only things the WG will be offended by are :

 

You don't have the right money

You smell

You are are rude or abusive

You try to do stuff that's not been agreed.

 

Otherwise it's all in a working day.

 

You have to remember, she's NOT your girlfriend. She's providing a service you are paying for. Does your dentist care how good-looking, charming, clever you are? If you were as ugly, boring and bad in bed as me, then you'd have something to worry about, but even I have never been kicked out of bed by a working girl.

 

So stop worrying what the girl thinks of you and get on with having a good shag. :D

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I've had this terrible habit for years where I just wonder what other people think of me.

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I've had this terrible habit for years where I just wonder what other people think of me. Even if I walk into the shop I sometimes get worried if the assistant is looking at me or when I'm at the gym or wherever. Does anyone sometimes feel this way when seeing a WG?

I know that a good WG is non judgemental and is there to share the experience with you, but still my mind tends to be racing - as with the above examples i'm thinking all kinds of things - Is she disappointed by my looks/body, the ways i'm performing, the things i'm saying, the way i come across, are her eyes closed coz she picturing someone else coz i'm not attractive? And I think all these things effect my day to day life in general.

 

I keep saying to myself, if i do see a WG again at some point, i'm just going to go in there with all the confidence in the world and be a friendly, charming, sweet mofo. Probably wont happen though as i'll become really self concious and start thinking all the above.  Does anyone else ever get this?  And how does one combat it?

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One of the nice things about growing old is you no longer care about these things. You're basically happy to be yourself.

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True, hitting 40 was glorious, I no longer gave a stuff about the opinions of others. I finally managed to live my life as I wanted and not as a puppet trying to win approval of total strangers.

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One of the nice things about growing old is you no longer care about these things. You're basically happy to be yourself.

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I get self conscious if I have to walk into a restaurant or bar on my own, not as much as I used too but a little still. I dont give a fig what people think of my though. My family and friends know me, my clients must like me if they are coming back to see me which they are. Everyone else is just incidental. Theres no point worrying what people think of you, they will make their minds up based on their own judgements wether correct or incorrect. Dont let it worry you and just enjoy your life because they are.

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If I worried about what people thought of me I would never post on here. Sometimes I upset folk; sometimes that is deliberate; just a very few times it is accidental!!

 

I have a pretty thick skin (and skull!) so take all the abuse with a large pinch of salt. :)

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It can work the other way Stars, us wgs are constantly scrutinised on our looks for instance we even have reports written about how we are in bed and what we look like...we have to develop a hard shell when it comes to what other people think. Not all of us are really happy with our bodies...I am very much the girl next door type and I have my self conscious moments about my weight and what I look like. No one is perfect, so Stars embrace the things about you that are good, try and be proud of who you are, you are unique.

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Most folk as they get older gain confidence and assertiveness if they found it was lacking in their youth. 

 

What annoys me though is some really elderly people thinking they can be openly rude in public which to me just shows bad manners. 

 

I don't say I care nothing for people's feelings and will say what I like but if a particular situation finds me gritting my teeth with frustration then I will politely speak up.

 

Example.... and Aceton pointed it out.  If when an assistant is talking to me but looking elsewhere (and sadly this happens too often) I point this out to them and state that I will continue the conversation when they are actually looking at me.  The look on their face is priceless and they probably want to clock me one but in that situation I am 100% in the right.

 

If a very young assistant calls me "darling" or "love" I have been known to ask them not to (too late I know) because I am not their darling or love.

 

When I was in my late teens I had a complex that people were staring at me... mainly males  :)  I honestly thought it was because I looked odd or unattractive.  It took one person to point out to me that I was being stared at because I looked pretty.  I really had no idea. 

 

I have to remind myself now and then that although I do not have a confidence problem  my clients may have... they may be a tyrant at work or within their own families but in my room they can be a totally different and timid person.

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Pretty much the only things the WG will be offended by are :

 

You don't have the right money

You smell

You are are rude or abusive

You try to do stuff that's not been agreed.

 

Otherwise it's all in a working day.

 

You have to remember, she's NOT your girlfriend. She's providing a service you are paying for. Does your dentist care how good-looking, charming, clever you are? If you were as ugly, boring and bad in bed as me, then you'd have something to worry about, but even I have never been kicked out of bed by a working girl.

 

So stop worrying what the girl thinks of you and get on with having a good shag. :D

Think that pretty much nails it on the head,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,besides wg's learn not to judge a book by it's cover very early on in their working life

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<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Vulvasailor" data-cid="488483" data-time="1360468398"><p>

Yes it's called paranoia.<br />

<br />

Hope this helps :-<br />

<br />

<a href='http://www.wikihow.com/Help-Cure-Your-Paranoia'>http://www.wikihow.com/Help-Cure-Your-Paranoia</a></p></blockquote>

Actually it sounds more like social anxiety or a social phobia. I think everyone has a degree of it but if it interrupts your life (e.g you actually stop going to the gym because you think people are judging you) then maybe think of getting some help with cognitive therapies :)http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk/

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I have never been slef conscious about myself in front of a wg - that why you pay.

 

I do have insecurities in front of civvie beautiful women - of course.

 

Don't get your 2 worlds mixed up,

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Most folk as they get older gain confidence and assertiveness if they found it was lacking in their youth. 

 

What annoys me though is some really elderly people thinking they can be openly rude in public which to me just shows bad manners. 

 

I don't say I care nothing for people's feelings and will say what I like but if a particular situation finds me gritting my teeth with frustration then I will politely speak up.

 

Example.... and Aceton pointed it out.  If when an assistant is talking to me but looking elsewhere (and sadly this happens too often) I point this out to them and state that I will continue the conversation when they are actually looking at me.  The look on their face is priceless and they probably want to clock me one but in that situation I am 100% in the right.

 

If a very young assistant calls me "darling" or "love" I have been known to ask them not to (too late I know) because I am not their darling or love.

 

When I was in my late teens I had a complex that people were staring at me... mainly males  :)  I honestly thought it was because I looked odd or unattractive.  It took one person to point out to me that I was being stared at because I looked pretty.  I really had no idea. 

 

I have to remind myself now and then that although I do not have a confidence problem  my clients may have... they may be a tyrant at work or within their own families but in my room they can be a totally different and timid person.

I am looking forward immensely to saying whatever comes into my head at the top of my really elderly voice when the time comes! :D

 

It will be one of the few pleasures I have left by then. :D

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I do worry whether or not i'm as good as she says I am :D

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I do worry whether or not i'm as good as she says I am :D

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Think that pretty much nails it on the head,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,besides wg's learn not to judge a book by it's cover very early on in their working life

With me it was the first time I saw someone.  He was not what I would have gone for in real life - but he was such a nice guy and he was lovely to me. I realised then that this was how it was going to be and I would not be choosing.  Up until that moment it had not occurred to me at all x

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It can work the other way Stars, us wgs are constantly scrutinised on our looks for instance we even have reports written about how we are in bed and what we look like...we have to develop a hard shell when it comes to what other people think. Not all of us are really happy with our bodies...I am very much the girl next door type and I have my self conscious moments about my weight and what I look like. No one is perfect, so Stars embrace the things about you that are good, try and be proud of who you are, you are unique.

Concur with this but..  some ladies have photos and profiles which guys rely upon when making a choice and then get a shock when they see the real thing which is far removed from the website pics.  What amazes me is that some guys write reviews supporting the obvious lie, and I wonder why they are doing this?

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I've had this terrible habit for years where I just wonder what other people think of me. Even if I walk into the shop I sometimes get worried if the assistant is looking at me or when I'm at the gym or wherever. Does anyone sometimes feel this way when seeing a WG?

I know that a good WG is non judgemental and is there to share the experience with you, but still my mind tends to be racing - as with the above examples i'm thinking all kinds of things - Is she disappointed by my looks/body, the ways i'm performing, the things i'm saying, the way i come across, are her eyes closed coz she picturing someone else coz i'm not attractive? And I think all these things effect my day to day life in general.

 

I keep saying to myself, if i do see a WG again at some point, i'm just going to go in there with all the confidence in the world and be a friendly, charming, sweet mofo. Probably wont happen though as i'll become really self concious and start thinking all the above.  Does anyone else ever get this?  And how does one combat it?

Yes..  had this all my life on and off.  Some days are 'confident' days when I could take the world on.  On these days I can do anything.  Other days I go into a shell and keep to myself.  These are the days I don't work.  I have learned to recognise the signs.

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I've had this terrible habit for years where I just wonder what other people think of me. Even if I walk into the shop I sometimes get worried if the assistant is looking at me or when I'm at the gym or wherever. Does anyone sometimes feel this way when seeing a WG?

I know that a good WG is non judgemental and is there to share the experience with you, but still my mind tends to be racing - as with the above examples i'm thinking all kinds of things - Is she disappointed by my looks/body, the ways i'm performing, the things i'm saying, the way i come across, are her eyes closed coz she picturing someone else coz i'm not attractive? And I think all these things effect my day to day life in general.

 

I keep saying to myself, if i do see a WG again at some point, i'm just going to go in there with all the confidence in the world and be a friendly, charming, sweet mofo. Probably wont happen though as i'll become really self concious and start thinking all the above.  Does anyone else ever get this?  And how does one combat it?

 

You've pretty much just described me.

 

I used to be obese (however I've lost 10 stones and am now just overweight) so I was always super self-conscious of myself and used to get some pretty hurtful things said to me. I also suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder. I was in my 20s before I could use a phone without having a mild panic attack. I couldn't even go into a cafe to get a sandwich or a tea because I was convinced I would ask for it incorrectly and they would laugh at me. That sort of thing, so I had it bad. 

 

There are two things which helped me though:

 

(1) Experience - once you've done something a number of times you become used to it because you know, approximately, what's expected of you. Most of my anxiety was derived from not knowing what to expect and not knowing what to say or how to act. Do something long enough and it becomes less scary.

 

(2) [Faked] Confidence - I don't mean being a jerk. I mean doing your best to come across as easy-going and not stressed. You'll still come across as nervous (I certainly still do) and stressed (again, I do) but you won't come across as nervous and stressed as you really feel. Eventually you'll learn to be less nervous and stressed and self-conscious just because you'll be practising it.

 

With regards to WG's, almost all of the ladies I have spent time with have been very accommodating and have gone out of their way to make me feel good about myself. If you're doing something wrong they'll tell you, it's really as simple as that. I'm not good looking at all and struggle to keep a conversation going but women still see me on a regular basis so I can't be that off-putting. If you find someone you'd like to visit again and they let you, I've always personally taken that as a compliment personally because it means I'm not as much of a untouchable as I sometimes feel.

 

Someone above has already mentioned http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk and if you want some more general advice I'd recomend: http://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/

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You've pretty much just described me.

 

I used to be obese (however I've lost 10 stones and am now just overweight) so I was always super self-conscious of myself and used to get some pretty hurtful things said to me. I also suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder. I was in my 20s before I could use a phone without having a mild panic attack. I couldn't even go into a cafe to get a sandwich or a tea because I was convinced I would ask for it incorrectly and they would laugh at me. That sort of thing, so I had it bad. 

 

There are two things which helped me though:

 

(1) Experience - once you've done something a number of times you become used to it because you know, approximately, what's expected of you. Most of my anxiety was derived from not knowing what to expect and not knowing what to say or how to act. Do something long enough and it becomes less scary.

 

(2) [Faked] Confidence - I don't mean being a jerk. I mean doing your best to come across as easy-going and not stressed. You'll still come across as nervous (I certainly still do) and stressed (again, I do) but you won't come across as nervous and stressed as you really feel. Eventually you'll learn to be less nervous and stressed and self-conscious just because you'll be practising it.

 

With regards to WG's, almost all of the ladies I have spent time with have been very accommodating and have gone out of their way to make me feel good about myself. If you're doing something wrong they'll tell you, it's really as simple as that. I'm not good looking at all and struggle to keep a conversation going but women still see me on a regular basis so I can't be that off-putting. If you find someone you'd like to visit again and they let you, I've always personally taken that as a compliment personally because it means I'm not as much of a untouchable as I sometimes feel.

 

Someone above has already mentioned http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk and if you want some more general advice I'd recomend: http://www.reddit.com/r/socialskills/

yes ..anxiety...  this is what I suffer from, but over the years have adopted strategies to break the spell.  Feelings of low self worth and all that stupid shit.  It is so annoying really.

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.

 

 I couldn't even go into a cafe to get a sandwich or a tea because I was convinced I would ask for it incorrectly and they would laugh at me. That sort of thing, so I had it bad. 

 

The important thing to remember is that there are thousands of people suffering from social phobias and anxiety in everyday life.  It can help just a little knowing that we are not alone.

 

Until I was around 22 I could not eat in a restaurant with a boyfriend. I just couldn't do it so I refused any cosy meals out.  I was terrified I would commit some terrible faux pas and be laughed at... or not be able to chew and swallow properly.   :unsure:   It was  a real problem for me.

 

These days I could eat a 4 course meal in front of an audience  :) 

 

I find if I have had some time off from my naughty job then I get just a little apprehensive at the thought of having to "do it" again. The worry dissipates though as soon as my first visitor has been with me a few minutes.  

 

When I think about it I find the majority of my clients at least appear to be super confident but some have admitted they feel rather less so. I hope I succeed in making them relaxed.... that is my aim.

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