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Alwayshoping

Another Wasted Day

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I've spent almost all of today thinking about women and fondling and fucking them, and I've been looking at porn, both pictures and videos, on the internet for hours on end, but have been tortured by guilty feelings and fear of infection because I have an innocent wife. I've felt somehow scared about actually doing anything and also guilty and ashamed of spending a lump sum on a mere half hour's pleasure.

However I did go out in the afternoon and phoned up someone I've been with once, but I was surprised to find that there was no reply so I couldn't see her. But somehow that one phone call I made was the limit of my courage and I couldn't bring myself to phone anyone else. So I came home and looked at more porn for hours as my wife's been out most of today.

And now I feel the whole day has been wasted thinking about women and wanting sex with them (if only I could have just one!), feeling guilty and too scared to really do anything positive, feeling frustrated and very dissatisfied with the way I'm leading my life. I don't want to go on living like this, in a state of indecision and guilt. It's too much of a depressing waste of one's life.

Does anyone else get tormented by all kinds of conflicting feelings like this because they don't have a good sexlife at home and need sex somewhere else? Or is it just me?

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erm no ..... I think you need to see a shrink..... & pronto !

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I've spent almost all of today thinking about women and fondling and fucking them, and I've been looking at porn, both pictures and videos, on the internet for hours on end, but have been tortured by guilty feelings and fear of infection because I have an innocent wife. I've felt somehow scared about actually doing anything and also guilty and ashamed of spending a lump sum on a mere half hour's pleasure.

However I did go out in the afternoon and phoned up someone I've been with once, but I was surprised to find that there was no reply so I couldn't see her. But somehow that one phone call I made was the limit of my courage and I couldn't bring myself to phone anyone else. So I came home and looked at more porn for hours as my wife's been out most of today.

And now I feel the whole day has been wasted thinking about women and wanting sex with them (if only I could have just one!), feeling guilty and too scared to really do anything positive, feeling frustrated and very dissatisfied with the way I'm leading my life. I don't want to go on living like this, in a state of indecision and guilt. It's too much of a depressing waste of one's life.

Does anyone else get tormented by all kinds of conflicting feelings like this because they don't have a good sexlife at home and need sex somewhere else? Or is it just me?

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Does anyone else get tormented by all kinds of conflicting feelings like this because they don't have a good sexlife at home and need sex somewhere else? Or is it just me?

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I've spent almost all of today thinking about women and fondling and fucking them, and I've been looking at porn, both pictures and videos, on the internet for hours on end, but have been tortured by guilty feelings and fear of infection because I have an innocent wife. I've felt somehow scared about actually doing anything and also guilty and ashamed of spending a lump sum on a mere half hour's pleasure.

However I did go out in the afternoon and phoned up someone I've been with once, but I was surprised to find that there was no reply so I couldn't see her. But somehow that one phone call I made was the limit of my courage and I couldn't bring myself to phone anyone else. So I came home and looked at more porn for hours as my wife's been out most of today.

And now I feel the whole day has been wasted thinking about women and wanting sex with them (if only I could have just one!), feeling guilty and too scared to really do anything positive, feeling frustrated and very dissatisfied with the way I'm leading my life. I don't want to go on living like this, in a state of indecision and guilt. It's too much of a depressing waste of one's life.

Does anyone else get tormented by all kinds of conflicting feelings like this because they don't have a good sexlife at home and need sex somewhere else? Or is it just me?

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I enjoy both. Porn when I can't go out and working girls when I can. There are lots of nice girls out there, I am sure that you can find one by looking at the punternet reviews or even on AW.

 

the last one I tried (Gina in Kingston) has a lovely GFE. Why were none of my girlfriends like that? With them, it was 'Oh OK then if you must!'

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I enjoy both. Porn when I can't go out and working girls when I can. There are lots of nice girls out there, I am sure that you can find one by looking at the punternet reviews or even on AW.

 

the last one I tried (Gina in Kingston) has a lovely GFE. Why were none of my girlfriends like that? With them, it was 'Oh OK then if you must!'

Why do you think that there are thousands of WGs out there earning thousands of pounds? :D

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I'd be more worried if you weren't feeling like this, its healthy and perfectly normal.  What is a problem is that you are not sharing this with your wife and that your not happy with you sex life at home, but bet your far from alone with this one.

 

My ex hubby had a massive porn collection when I met him, he could tell you every single one of their names, had been to see many of them at porn conventions and so on.  He had many an hour fantasising about them and wanking over them.  Did this stop when I met him?  Nope, I joined him and we both got to actually play with some of these girls for real.

 

I'm not saying you should expect your wife to be as liberal as I am, but I think sometimes you men would surprised at just how many women enjoy looking at porn and its something that you could share, how do you know she's not doing it as soon as your out of the door too?

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You don't need a shrink, but maybe a good, stiff drink.  Works wonders for me. ;)

 

Since discovering punting, I'm afraid I have been far too busy enjoying the positives to pay too much attention to the negatives.

 

There are negatives, certainly.  Whether it be a breach of trust with your OH, health risks, a hobby you can never discuss (outside of 'punt club' AKA forums like this), let along the scams, the potential scams, the girls who don't try, the girls who mess you about, the girls who piss you off, the girls you do like but who disappear on you, the cost (OMG the cost).

 

But since I discovered punting my life has become so much richer.  From slowly slipping into boredom and depression from mid life crisis and marriage with diminishing returns, I suddenly meet and spend time with beautiful and interesting girls, all with unique qualities and personalities. I engage in levels of intimacy I thought I would never enjoy again and simply enjoy a sex life that previously I could only fantasise of in front of a computer screen. 

 

Wasted days.  Yes, I had plenty of those before I discovered punting.

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You don't need a shrink, but maybe a good, stiff drink.  Works wonders for me. ;)

 

Since discovering punting, I'm afraid I have been far too busy enjoying the positives to pay too much attention to the negatives.

 

There are negatives, certainly.  Whether it be a breach of trust with your OH, health risks, a hobby you can never discuss (outside of 'punt club' AKA forums like this), let along the scams, the potential scams, the girls who don't try, the girls who mess you about, the girls who piss you off, the girls you do like but who disappear on you, the cost (OMG the cost).

 

But since I discovered punting my life has become so much richer.  From slowly slipping into boredom and depression from mid life crisis and marriage with diminishing returns, I suddenly meet and spend time with beautiful and interesting girls, all with unique qualities and personalities. I engage in levels of intimacy I thought I would never enjoy again and simply enjoy a sex life that previously I could only fantasise of in front of a computer screen. 

 

Wasted days.  Yes, I had plenty of those before I discovered punting.

:D :D

 

Likewise!

 

Seriously, the internet can become very addictive. A few years ago I spent about 2 weeks looking at porn for hours every day. In the end I had to make myself switch off the computer and go out into the real world.

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People take life far too seriously.

I wasted yesterday by laying in bed till lunchtime, watching the football, drinking too much beer, then eating a pizza and falling asleep. It was fun though.

Other days are wasted watching porn and researching punts and actually having sex with beautiful girls. Cant think of a better way to spend a day.

Sod it. Relax. You only live once and no harm indulging yourself occasionally if you do it safely.

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People take life far too seriously.

I wasted yesterday by laying in bed till lunchtime, watching the football, drinking too much beer, then eating a pizza and falling asleep. It was fun though.

Other days are wasted watching porn and researching punts and actually having sex with beautiful girls. Cant think of a better way to spend a day.

Sod it. Relax. You only live once and no harm indulging yourself occasionally if you do it safely.

Unless you are doing it every day and nothing else.  Then it becomes stale and dry and your life passes you by.  Everything in moderation I say including sex.  When you are actually having the sex that is a different ball game altogether :)

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Yes, you need to get out more!

Or listen to that american saying "poop or get off the pot"! You seem to be tethering on the edge of hiring a working girl, but cannot get over the rim. The porn is building up your desires and wants, then you do not go through with it.

Either tell your wife and get her to take up some of the load. Or hire a working girl.

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I agree.  You either get on with it and start shagging WGs, or you give up thinking about them and stick to porn (or maybe even chance your arm with the wife).

 

However, booking and shagging WGs is far, far easier than giving up thinking about it.  So you might as well bite the bullet, pick up the phone, and enjoy yourself....

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I do have plenty of other interests but the real reason I spend hours watching porn every so often, usually 2 or 3 weeks, is when my need for sex takes over my thoughts and I can't concentrate properly on anything else. My wife should and must know how I am, and we've been to therapy. I won't go into all that again as I talked about it in a thread a long time ago. However the therapy sessions are long past now and she, having almost zero interest in sex herself, just doesn't want to think about that kind of stuff any more.

Her conscience is clear as once in a while, only at odd times that are not too inconvenient for her, she allows me to put it in, preferably without any foreplay of any kind. It's not love making and hardly even sex. But now, probably due to age, I have a new problem with this. I can't even stay hard long enough to put lubricant on myself and put it in. It just goes soft again. I have had to make myself erect and ready as she'll do practically nothing, doesn't want to touch it, doesn't want to be fondled intimately, and just lies there till I can do my solo performance. But it's not working any more. My wife loves me and genuinely cares about me, but  just wants to ignore sex. It's distasteful to her. We're totally incompatible in that respect.

So, to put it crudely, every so often I need a fuck. I've had far more failures than successes recently when I try it with her but she doesn't blame herself for that, but rather she presumes it's my failing ability to do it. I can never discuss it with her as she dreads any more criticism or blame that it might be her fault for not even touching me. I can't masturbate beside her. Absolutely nothing like that is allowed.

So the only answer seems to be to pay a professional. I have done this now and then recently. Only she can get me excited enough to stay hard and do it. But I think on my innocent, unsuspecting wife. She'd be so devastated and so badly hurt if she discovered I was fucking a stranger! I hate the thought of doing that to her. I love her in spite of all this.

 So then comes all the watching porn, wanting to pay a woman but hesitating, feeling guilty, feeling shame, feeling like a low cheating skunk, all the indecisiveness and the worries..... and we're back to the beginning of the story again. I'm not really obsessed by porn at all. I just need proper sex with a real woman every so often. Then, with that taken care of, I could get on with the rest of my life. A very long time ago I thought marriage solved all this. I know better now.

 

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I've spent almost all of today thinking about women and fondling and fucking them, and I've been looking at porn, both pictures and videos, on the internet for hours on end, but have been tortured by guilty feelings and fear of infection because I have an innocent wife. I've felt somehow scared about actually doing anything and also guilty and ashamed of spending a lump sum on a mere half hour's pleasure.

However I did go out in the afternoon and phoned up someone I've been with once, but I was surprised to find that there was no reply so I couldn't see her. But somehow that one phone call I made was the limit of my courage and I couldn't bring myself to phone anyone else. So I came home and looked at more porn for hours as my wife's been out most of today.

And now I feel the whole day has been wasted thinking about women and wanting sex with them (if only I could have just one!), feeling guilty and too scared to really do anything positive, feeling frustrated and very dissatisfied with the way I'm leading my life. I don't want to go on living like this, in a state of indecision and guilt. It's too much of a depressing waste of one's life.

Does anyone else get tormented by all kinds of conflicting feelings like this bas because they don't have a good sexlife at home and need sex somewhere else? Or is it just me?

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you have got to that point where you adore your wife but want something secret and someone else to fulfill that part of your life, don't feel guilty for she will nev know if you visit girls feel guilty if you start an emotioanl affair for that is the thing you have with your wife xxx

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I do have plenty of other interests but the real reason I spend hours watching porn every so often, usually 2 or 3 weeks, is when my need for sex takes over my thoughts and I can't concentrate properly on anything else. My wife should and must know how I am, and we've been to therapy. I won't go into all that again as I talked about it in a thread a long time ago. However the therapy sessions are long past now and she, having almost zero interest in sex herself, just doesn't want to think about that kind of stuff any more.

Her conscience is clear as once in a while, only at odd times that are not too inconvenient for her, she allows me to put it in, preferably without any foreplay of any kind. It's not love making and hardly even sex. But now, probably due to age, I have a new problem with this. I can't even stay hard long enough to put lubricant on myself and put it in. It just goes soft again. I have had to make myself erect and ready as she'll do practically nothing, doesn't want to touch it, doesn't want to be fondled intimately, and just lies there till I can do my solo performance. But it's not working any more. My wife loves me and genuinely cares about me, but  just wants to ignore sex. It's distasteful to her. We're totally incompatible in that respect.

So, to put it crudely, every so often I need a fuck. I've had far more failures than successes recently when I try it with her but she doesn't blame herself for that, but rather she presumes it's my failing ability to do it. I can never discuss it with her as she dreads any more criticism or blame that it might be her fault for not even touching me. I can't masturbate beside her. Absolutely nothing like that is allowed.

So the only answer seems to be to pay a professional. I have done this now and then recently. Only she can get me excited enough to stay hard and do it. But I think on my innocent, unsuspecting wife. She'd be so devastated and so badly hurt if she discovered I was fucking a stranger! I hate the thought of doing that to her. I love her in spite of all this.

 So then comes all the watching porn, wanting to pay a woman but hesitating, feeling guilty, feeling shame, feeling like a low cheating skunk, all the indecisiveness and the worries..... and we're back to the beginning of the story again. I'm not really obsessed by porn at all. I just need proper sex with a real woman every so often. Then, with that taken care of, I could get on with the rest of my life. A very long time ago I thought marriage solved all this. I know better now.

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I do have plenty of other interests but the real reason I spend hours watching porn every so often, usually 2 or 3 weeks, is when my need for sex takes over my thoughts and I can't concentrate properly on anything else. My wife should and must know how I am, and we've been to therapy. I won't go into all that again as I talked about it in a thread a long time ago. However the therapy sessions are long past now and she, having almost zero interest in sex herself, just doesn't want to think about that kind of stuff any more.

Her conscience is clear as once in a while, only at odd times that are not too inconvenient for her, she allows me to put it in, preferably without any foreplay of any kind. It's not love making and hardly even sex. But now, probably due to age, I have a new problem with this. I can't even stay hard long enough to put lubricant on myself and put it in. It just goes soft again. I have had to make myself erect and ready as she'll do practically nothing, doesn't want to touch it, doesn't want to be fondled intimately, and just lies there till I can do my solo performance. But it's not working any more. My wife loves me and genuinely cares about me, but  just wants to ignore sex. It's distasteful to her. We're totally incompatible in that respect.

So, to put it crudely, every so often I need a fuck. I've had far more failures than successes recently when I try it with her but she doesn't blame herself for that, but rather she presumes it's my failing ability to do it. I can never discuss it with her as she dreads any more criticism or blame that it might be her fault for not even touching me. I can't masturbate beside her. Absolutely nothing like that is allowed.

So the only answer seems to be to pay a professional. I have done this now and then recently. Only she can get me excited enough to stay hard and do it. But I think on my innocent, unsuspecting wife. She'd be so devastated and so badly hurt if she discovered I was fucking a stranger! I hate the thought of doing that to her. I love her in spite of all this.

 So then comes all the watching porn, wanting to pay a woman but hesitating, feeling guilty, feeling shame, feeling like a low cheating skunk, all the indecisiveness and the worries..... and we're back to the beginning of the story again. I'm not really obsessed by porn at all. I just need proper sex with a real woman every so often. Then, with that taken care of, I could get on with the rest of my life. A very long time ago I thought marriage solved all this. I know better now.

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I tend to be sympathetic with you over the problems you are having with your sex life. If it is that bad and you are honest with yourself in that you have tried everything, then yur wife does not get a say. If it is her lying there and putting you through hell, she cannot complain if you go with an escort. My wife was similar, thinking good wifes put out boring sex every few weeks and that was it. 

It is your choice in this matter. But a lot of the married men on this site have stood where you are.

Good luck

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I seriously don't get this.  Sorry sweetheart I'm not trying to upset here but how can you say its not her fault, and if she is that cold towards you sexually then how can she be upset or hurt if you look elsewhere to scratch that itch.

 

Sometimes you men just put up with far too much IMHO.  I bloody hate ironing but I have to do it because it makes him look nice for work and if he's happy then so am I.  If you've been through therapy, things haven't changed and you've both accepted a pretty boring sexless relationship then she shouldn't be at all shocked if you look elsewhere, and you shouldn't feel guilty for wanting and enjoying what a lot of us take for granted.  Its a basic human need for many, almost as much as needing the loo and I'm sure you don't feel guilty about siting on the throne do you?

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If this is an accurate description of your marriage then I'm sorry but you need to get a divorce. Its a sham. Your wife does not love you. That's not love. That's tolerating someone,or living as companions.

However, maybe your wife has some valid reasons? We don't know her side of the story. I have read a few of your posts and you do seem to have a very odd view of women and sex and make some strange comments. Your wife must sense this even if you don't talk about it. If it comes across as odd to a stranger then a person you live with must feel it.

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Btw. I should have said thanks to Heather also, and to all the men who have responded. At least I know that if I go and pay secretly it wouldn't be viewed as such a terrible thing (except by my wife of course!).

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It is her fault in a sense, but she's just never really been into sex. She just can't help it, if you know what I mean. And any kind of sexual touching seems to genuinely disgust her except on the very rare occasions when she's got aroused in recent years. She has never forced herself to do something she hates doing. I used to hope she'd at least give me hand relief as a substitute instead of penetration, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it and the thought of doing it seemed to cause her a mental crisis. Maybe she should force herself and just do it? Or do something? I honestly don't know but I've had to give up and know never to ask her. She is what she is. The therapy didn't really work for her. It didn't change anything. It's not so much coldness as revulsion about sex. I wish she'd been more normal.

Thanks for your comment, Holly.

 

I'm afraid that sounds like a real problems sadly for both of you.  There are medical conditions that make it extremely difficult for some people to enjoy sex, albeit in the mind or physical its still very sad and hard on the partner, but let me put it this way..  If you lost your legs would you expect her not to walk either?  Of course you wouldn't.  Do not feel guilty for being normal sweetheart.

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I'm afraid that sounds like a real problems sadly for both of you.  There are medical conditions that make it extremely difficult for some people to enjoy sex, albeit in the mind or physical its still very sad and hard on the partner, but let me put it this way..  If you lost your legs would you expect her not to walk either?  Of course you wouldn't.  Do not feel guilty for being normal sweetheart.

Thanks for that, Holly. And I forgot to thank Sarah earlier. Sorry. I'll get on the phone one day very soon, I think.

 

Gosh - you don't half exude warmth, Holly. I like that! Any man would.

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