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machiine

Has Anyone Ever Accidentally Pissed During A Hj?

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I am new to i didn't need a pee, so it shocked me  HE's. Have been regular having massage for years tho.

 

Was in chinatown lastnight. Went for massage, exoecting a HJ. i had a beer beforehand.

 

The lady wasn't nice looking. looking old, maybe Thai. Almost a bit like a short man!

 

Anyway, uring the eHJ, it felt good...but I couldn't cum.

Time was almost up and i asked her to pump the tip/grissle. She was doing that and suddenly about half pint of piss shot up in my face, chest, all over her....the floor and left 2 pools of pee on the bed! LOL!

 

It didn't smell like pee. I was surprised as hell.

 

WTF??

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WTF INDEED!

Sat pissing myself here... No pun intended.

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It didn't smell like pee. I was surprised as hell.

 

WTF??

 

WTF indeed.

 

You may have been surprised, but how did the lady react?

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Hmmm, so this poor lady you refer to as looking like a short man had to deal with you pissing all over her. 

 

I do hope you helped clean up and gave her a tip.

 

Here is my tip- Go and see a doctor. 

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   Heineken    " refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach  "    :(

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This is the best thing i've read in ages.I'm rolling up here

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I am sure machiine, your infamy will spread far and wide over this little incident!!! Though dont think i would of thought it funny at the time, but i am enjoying a wee chuckle at it ..;)

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You sound absolutely delightful....you go and pay for a wank with a woman who you totally didn't fancy after supping beer and then piss all over her. Yes you should be embarrassed and grateful she didn't go mad I would have done.

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I find it very hard to piss accidentally actually. Coughed and farted though.

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I find it very hard to piss accidentally actually. Coughed and farted though.

 

Yeah but, did ya follow through?? :P:D

 

Back on topic...I don't think I could pee with a stiffie, it's like the tap is turned off or something.

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Yeah but, did ya follow through?? :P:D

 

Back on topic...I don't think I could pee with a stiffie, it's like the tap is turned off or something.

That's cos you've forgotten those times when you were young, when you woke up needing a pee but with a stiffie that was as hard as a rock and just wouldn't go away.

 

All those times in the lavvy trying to work out if you could have a pee while standing on your head. :D

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Back on topic...I don't think I could pee with a stiffie, it's like the tap is turned off or something.

Me neither or for a short while after the stiffie-ness has receded! :)

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I remember this very topic being discussed a number of years ago, but it was by a room full of 10 year olds. It was a sex ed class.

 

When asked this bizarre question, Sir said it was impossible to wee whilst erect. Maybe he should have first asked why this boy wanted to pee in a women's pussy, because I have no idea what made me think of this at the time :D

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i had a beer beforehand.

 

It didn't smell like pee.

 

By the time you've had a few drinks you're peeing warm water. Hence the dehydration.

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I remember this very topic being discussed a number of years ago, but it was by a room full of 10 year olds. It was a sex ed class.

 

When asked this bizarre question, Sir said it was impossible to wee whilst erect. Maybe he should have first asked why this boy wanted to pee in a women's pussy, because I have no idea what made me think of this at the time :D

 

I can assure you it is possible to wee while erect.  The difficult thing is getting it to go in the toilet.

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That's cos you've forgotten those times when you were young, when you woke up needing a pee but with a stiffie that was as hard as a rock and just wouldn't go away.

 

All those times in the lavvy trying to work out if you could have a pee while standing on your head. :D

 

Remided me of that song :  (to the tune of ken-john-peel)

 

When you wake up in the morning with the devil of a stand,

From the pressure of the liquid on the seminary gland,

If you haven't got a woman, use your own horny hand,

As you revel in the joys of masturbation.

 

(anon)

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Remided me of that song :  (to the tune of ken-john-peel)

 

When you wake up in the morning with the devil of a stand,

From the pressure of the liquid on the seminary gland,

If you haven't got a woman, use your own horny hand,

As you revel in the joys of masturbation.

 

(anon)

I have heard that before but the last line you quote doesn't rhyme. The version I know finishes with the following:-

 

As you revel in the joys of a one man band.

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I can assure you it is possible to wee while erect.  The difficult thing is getting it to go in the toilet.

 

Impossible for me. I often wake up with morning glory, desperate for a piss. I have to wait for it to go down.

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Jeezus, a clear case of someone being perfect for covered oral only here. 

 

I was in a two girl with Autumn once and as we all moved around a bit the guy stood up at the edge of the bed then some liquid shot out of the end of his willy. He said "oh dear" but didnt seem the least bit surprised he had just pissed on our bed. As you can imagine...it was covered oral after that. 

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I can assure you it is possible to wee while erect. The difficult thing is getting it to go in the toilet.

Yes it's possible but takes longer to start. I sit down if I've got a stiff rather than spray everywhere.

DG

Edited by Diamond Geezer

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.

Edited by Diamond Geezer

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LOL,

 

 

Very funny reading! :D  :D :D  :D  :D  :D  

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Jeezus, a clear case of someone being perfect for covered oral only here. 

 

I was in a two girl with Autumn once and as we all moved around a bit the guy stood up at the edge of the bed then some liquid shot out of the end of his willy. He said "oh dear" but didnt seem the least bit surprised he had just pissed on our bed. As you can imagine...it was covered oral after that. 

I'm sat here chuckling at the thought of some fella lieing there with a rapidly expanding beachball on his lap as it were.Imagine if it filled till it burst :)

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how many beers did you have? :lol:

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