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Maxi

Have You Never Had Sex Without Paying Cash For It?

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As I approach my 3rd year of punting (and punting more than ever these past few months) I can't help but reflect on a certain elephant in the room I have started to notice once again...

 

Back in 2010 I was a student with absolutely no sexual or romantic experience with women at all due in large part to my social incompetence and by extension lack of network by which to meet women. Simply put it was a hellish experience from start to finish. I tried to change my situation by trying PUA/Game/Venusian arts. Think Mystery/The Game/David DeAngelo for those who are familiar with the booming seduction community that is well publicised in the UK these days. Try as I might (though due to my thin skin I'd be lying if I purported that I applied myself 100% to it) I would get constantly rejected at bars and nightclubs or anywhere else.

 

I could go into so much more detail but to get to the point I ended up biting the bullet after perusing the likes of the purple site and others. I was approaching the end of my student life and felt that if I couldn't get laid at uni then I probably would never in my life. I was in top physical shape, ok looking though a bit shorter than average and oozing fake confidence. I knew I was making a truly life changing decision by taking £220 out of my overdrafted bank account and paying for 2 hours of a WG's time. This act would never be undone and I felt a great deal of sadness that it had come to this. But I had to take responsibility for this choice. It was mine to make as I am a grown up at the end of the day.

 

It was a let-down. It wasn't even so much the bad of the WG. Rather I would learn a great deal about myself over the course of the next year. Stuff that BAFFLED me before. BAFFLED! I couldn't get it up at all and certainly couldn't come. In summer 2011, for 6 weeks of my life I had what could be considered a girlfriend. I struggle to call it that as we never had sex but for 3 of those weeks (the first week and the last two - the middle 3 she was in her home country! I can say I had a LTR now too ;-) ) I experienced intimacy. Kissing, cuddling, fingering and fany-licking. It was awesome. For reasons pertaining to failing to integrate into her social circle (it was a bloody great miracle we got together in the first place - game certainly has its merits - what can I say?) I was ditched. And I hadn't gotten sex or a BJ to show for it. That I couldn't get it up didn't help either. Rather the only way I could come these days was by way of a fetish - a wrestling fetish where the woman uses her thighs to dominate the man - to put it bluntly.

 

I would soon come to learn that the reason behind junior's relentless shyness and my rather odd kink comprised symptoms of a condition that has been strangling the British male population ever since the advent of the internet. Porn addiction. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Apparantly the only cure was to abstain for all forms of porn and sexual activity - such that the dopamine balance in the brain can be restored back to something reasonably normal - such that simple, vanilla sex becomes sexy again.

 

I never had any sort of relationship with a woman since 2011 when I was dumped. Since then I have gotten a pretty well paid job which involves half a year oil rigging. Perfect situation to abstain from porn and come back ready to perform and enjoy sex again. Needless to say, with money in my pocket, my punting flourished! Now I would say I am borderline addicted. I try and limit myself to two punts a month when I am onshore. Getting off the rig, getting the chopper to dry land, phoning my favourite Eastern European, long-legged beauty and seeing her later than day. Lying on my back in the 69 position with her luscious bum in in my face and her mouth servicing my cock. All worth waiting weeks for...

 

But it is not healthy. Living in a new city, with no new network like uni where I could make a reasonable stab at getting a girlfriend and of course the very un-relationship friendly nature of my work, it has seemed that seeing WGs and paying paper money for sex is only natural. I am ok with it now but what will it be like when the day comes when I realise - hey I am 30/40 something and I have never had a serious relationship or girlfriend and want to settle down and have a family of my own and love in my life?

 

So how many of you guys have only ever paid for sex, having never had a girlfriend or situation where you didn't need to pay cash for intimacy? What is your story?

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I would soon come to learn that the reason behind junior's relentless shyness and my rather odd kink comprised symptoms of a condition that has been strangling the British male population ever since the advent of the internet. Porn addiction. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Apparantly the only cure was to abstain for all forms of porn and sexual activity - such that the dopamine balance in the brain can be restored back to something reasonably normal - such that simple, vanilla sex becomes sexy again.

The whole reason for my one and only use of a WG was to see if abstaining from porn had 'fixed' my E.D. problem (Yes it did) as when I was out,  Iwas so anxious/nervous that it might NOT work, that I just couldn't face approaching girls.

 

I'd never had a problem with getting it up in a previous long term relationship but struggled with E.D. for years after.  I was at my wit's end and sawthis as the last logical step to take.

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What is fulfilling, wholesome, and will keep you sane is having a family. All other things, wealth, gadgets, stuff can drive you mad.

 

its nice to have an easy bonk. But don't get hung up about it.

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As I approach my 3rd year of punting (and punting more than ever these past few months) I can't help but reflect on a certain elephant in the room I have started to notice once again...

 

Back in 2010 I was a student with absolutely no sexual or romantic experience with women at all due in large part to my social incompetence and by extension lack of network by which to meet women. Simply put it was a hellish experience from start to finish. I tried to change my situation by trying PUA/Game/Venusian arts. Think Mystery/The Game/David DeAngelo for those who are familiar with the booming seduction community that is well publicised in the UK these days. Try as I might (though due to my thin skin I'd be lying if I purported that I applied myself 100% to it) I would get constantly rejected at bars and nightclubs or anywhere else.

 

I could go into so much more detail but to get to the point I ended up biting the bullet after perusing the likes of the purple site and others. I was approaching the end of my student life and felt that if I couldn't get laid at uni then I probably would never in my life. I was in top physical shape, ok looking though a bit shorter than average and oozing fake confidence. I knew I was making a truly life changing decision by taking £220 out of my overdrafted bank account and paying for 2 hours of a WG's time. This act would never be undone and I felt a great deal of sadness that it had come to this. But I had to take responsibility for this choice. It was mine to make as I am a grown up at the end of the day.

 

It was a let-down. It wasn't even so much the bad of the WG. Rather I would learn a great deal about myself over the course of the next year. Stuff that BAFFLED me before. BAFFLED! I couldn't get it up at all and certainly couldn't come. In summer 2011, for 6 weeks of my life I had what could be considered a girlfriend. I struggle to call it that as we never had sex but for 3 of those weeks (the first week and the last two - the middle 3 she was in her home country! I can say I had a LTR now too ;-) ) I experienced intimacy. Kissing, cuddling, fingering and fany-licking. It was awesome. For reasons pertaining to failing to integrate into her social circle (it was a bloody great miracle we got together in the first place - game certainly has its merits - what can I say?) I was ditched. And I hadn't gotten sex or a BJ to show for it. That I couldn't get it up didn't help either. Rather the only way I could come these days was by way of a fetish - a wrestling fetish where the woman uses her thighs to dominate the man - to put it bluntly.

 

I would soon come to learn that the reason behind junior's relentless shyness and my rather odd kink comprised symptoms of a condition that has been strangling the British male population ever since the advent of the internet. Porn addiction. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Apparantly the only cure was to abstain for all forms of porn and sexual activity - such that the dopamine balance in the brain can be restored back to something reasonably normal - such that simple, vanilla sex becomes sexy again.

 

I never had any sort of relationship with a woman since 2011 when I was dumped. Since then I have gotten a pretty well paid job which involves half a year oil rigging. Perfect situation to abstain from porn and come back ready to perform and enjoy sex again. Needless to say, with money in my pocket, my punting flourished! Now I would say I am borderline addicted. I try and limit myself to two punts a month when I am onshore. Getting off the rig, getting the chopper to dry land, phoning my favourite Eastern European, long-legged beauty and seeing her later than day. Lying on my back in the 69 position with her luscious bum in in my face and her mouth servicing my cock. All worth waiting weeks for...

 

But it is not healthy. Living in a new city, with no new network like uni where I could make a reasonable stab at getting a girlfriend and of course the very un-relationship friendly nature of my work, it has seemed that seeing WGs and paying paper money for sex is only natural. I am ok with it now but what will it be like when the day comes when I realise - hey I am 30/40 something and I have never had a serious relationship or girlfriend and want to settle down and have a family of my own and love in my life?

 

So how many of you guys have only ever paid for sex, having never had a girlfriend or situation where you didn't need to pay cash for intimacy? What is your story?

 

I know what you mean Maxi. I got my first GF before I started punting, but I never had sex with her. I tried PUA and have read other 'seduction guides', I try to get a GF in real life, but no success yet. It frustrates me but there are still other things I'm interested in apart from finding love/ a GF. Like oddbloke says, having a caring family and a couple of good friends is even more important.

 

I started punting over a year ago and promised myself I'd stop in September, but I didn't succeed. Many of the girls I've met have been very nice/affectionate to me and have given me things I could only dream of.

I will only stop when I find love. And one day I'll get there and so will you.

Edited by orientallover

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Was your question worded that way to prevent people like me from saying something like: "Men always pay for sex, one way or another and women always charge, not necessarily in cash"?

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Your regular experiences should help to build confidence in your contacts with women outside punterland. And that confidence should help you be more attractive. Just remember that like hairdressing, painting, cooking etc., sex can often be done better by professionals than enthusiastic amateurs, so don't be disappointed...

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Having a wife or girlfriend was just too expensive with great restrictions of freedom added in.

CB

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Was your question worded that way to prevent people like me from saying something like: "Men always pay for sex, one way or another and women always charge, not necessarily in cash"?

This would have been a similar answer to the one i would have given.You always pay,whether its financially or emotionally.

In my case.Had i had sex before seeing a proffesional lady.Yes.Oddly enough however,the first time i ever had sex indoors was with a proffesional.Make of that what you will

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An oil rig without porn?

 

or indeed any macho environment without porn?

 

hmmmmm.........................

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This would have been a similar answer to the one i would have given.You always pay,whether its financially or emotionally.

In my case.Had i had sex before seeing a proffesional lady.Yes.Oddly enough however,the first time i ever had sex indoors was with a proffesional.Make of that what you will

Yeah I worded it exactly that way so as to make a distinction between formally paying a WG paper money for her services and seeing a woman 'normally' (if you want to use the term) and paying for it whatever way you care to name.

 

Yeah oil rigs and vessels have no shortage of porn but I tend to avoid it when I'm in an environment with more mushroom tips than the witch's cauldron

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I was 55 before I paid for sex and wish is done it years ago. I suppose I was frightened of catching something/ getting caught out.

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Yeah oil rigs and vessels have no shortage of porn but I tend to avoid it when I'm in an environment with more mushroom tips than the witch's cauldron

Now thats a great turn of phrase :D

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Maxi- good luck on your quest for love. You may find a real GF if you partake in activities with a high female ratio e.g. spin classes at gym, volunteering at a soup kitchen.

 

I'm in no position to preach and to do so would be height of irony given this forum...but bear in mind that punting is a fantasy game that's only peripherally connected to 'real world' relationships- don't let this game guide your heart in terms of finding genuine romance.

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I was 27 when I first had "free" sex with a proper girlfriend. I have since had it "free" with no more than 6 women and I am not far off being in the caregory that you are in - ie - struggle to get anywhere with women. The majority are in our category - I think - 90% - of those 90% - many give up and lead a celibate life when they understand girls are not attracted to them. Of the remainder a certain % try exceptionally hard and get free sex - enough to get them through life - though probably not with the sexiest of women - guys like you and me - probably do not try hard enough and so end up with poor relationships and/or paid sex. The other 10% - those that women are drawn to - get on with their lives without worrying where their next shag is coming from.

 

The odds are that you will find free sex sooner or later - though it is unlikely to be with the woman you really wanted. If it was going to be any other way you would not be here posting on this board. But I hope you prove me wrong.

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I've had sex with loads of beautiful women but it's all been payed for. This is an issue i am very ashamed of and why i don't want to punt anymore. I just want to be in a relationship with someone but find myself getting rejected every time. I've taken the easy way out for too long. I need to get back to the nightclubs..

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I never answer these increasingly frequent intrusive questions - not  from chuggers in the street anyway.

 

Done both and have met many more far nicer girls in punting than real life and made very good friends with some of them too (for a limited amount of time).

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I'm in the same position bro. Tried PUA techniques after reading The Game and even spent thousands of pounds on bootcamps, seminars, DVDs but for some reason or another they fail to work.

 

I get rejected by the hot girls at nightclubs and while my friends say that I should perhaps "lower my standards" and go (for want of a better word), the "munts", if you ain't attracted to someone, you ain't attracted.

 

I'm in above average shape than most guys and can talk and banter with people of both sexes quite easily but seem to struggle with making hot women attracted to me. Even tried the online dating like POF but the girls there get indundated with so many messages from guys telling them how hot they are that a 6 feels like a 9! So needless to say, nothing came of that.

 

Most of my friends are either married, in boring long term relationships or are just nerdy, perpetually single guys so I don't have a big social circle to meet women in.  I'd like to meet new friends, but it's hard once you get out of uni and the people you work with are all boring nerds.

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I was 27 when I first had "free" sex with a proper girlfriend. I have since had it "free" with no more than 6 women and I am not far off being in the caregory that you are in - ie - struggle to get anywhere with women. The majority are in our category - I think - 90% - of those 90% - many give up and lead a celibate life when they understand girls are not attracted to them. Of the remainder a certain % try exceptionally hard and get free sex - enough to get them through life - though probably not with the sexiest of women - guys like you and me - probably do not try hard enough and so end up with poor relationships and/or paid sex. The other 10% - those that women are drawn to - get on with their lives without worrying where their next shag is coming from.

 

The odds are that you will find free sex sooner or later - though it is unlikely to be with the woman you really wanted. If it was going to be any other way you would not be here posting on this board. But I hope you prove me wrong.

 

This hits the nail on the head.

I've had sex with loads of beautiful women but it's all been payed for. This is an issue i am very ashamed of and why i don't want to punt anymore. I just want to be in a relationship with someone but find myself getting rejected every time. I've taken the easy way out for too long. I need to get back to the nightclubs..

 

 

You know an idea I have had is to make a long-term plan such as the following.

 

For one year (i.e. this one) I will punt - once or twice a month.

 

Next year I will not punt but go out 3 nights a week and make a serious effort to meet women at every opportunity and learn game/pua with the help of local pias.

 

The next year I will punt and so on...Ultimately it is hoped that the penny with regard to getting women will eventually drop and chronic involuntary celibacy and the personal shame of paying for sex will be lifted from me.

 

And if I fail? And I never manage to get a girlfriend or if I never manage to have a family then at least I can look back knowing I tried my best and have no regrets.

 

My prediction is that eventually I will have a girlfriend or two before my time on planet earth is through. But I cannot imagine having a family with any woman unless she is exceptional (like my mum). A man should never underestimate what can go wrong in this respect. You stand not only to lose your wife/love but your children, a lot of your income and house. Not a myth sadly but a very real risk and one that should never be taken lightly...

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For one year (i.e. this one) I will punt - once or twice a month.

 

Next year I will not punt but go out 3 nights a week and make a serious effort to meet women at every opportunity and learn game/pua with the help of local pias.

 

The next year I will punt and so on...Ultimately it is hoped that the penny with regard to getting women will eventually drop and chronic involuntary celibacy and the personal shame of paying for sex will be lifted from me.

 

 

That's the way bro! The only way to get better with women is to keep on practising and learning of people more experienced than you.

 

Rejection (and sometimes, outright bitchiness) gets to me as well, but you have to keep thinking positive and remind yourself that you're only doing this for yourself and no one else.

 

I feel ya man, being involuntary celibate for the majority of your life is like being poor and hungry all your life and wondering what it's like to have a full belly.

 

The PUA community has taught me that in order to get a quality girl, you need to be a quality guy. To that end, I've been working on improving myself every day like working out and forcing myself to go out on saturdays (even though I don't like the loud music and alcohol) instead of playing dungeons and dragons, the vast majority of whom are perpetuallyt celibate.

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I am 38, getting married would be okay but most ladies around my age have children but I don't want any. As far as socialising, www.meetup.com has helped my confidence.

 

I've also thought about PUAs and bootcamps etc but being so self-conscious about rejection has made me think it would be a waste of money and it seemed like so much hard work. I never understand why girls expect blokes to make the moves but that was just due to my lack of confidence.

 

I am a bit put off by punting more due to non-experience and the perceived stressful situation that it would create as opposed to any intended willingness that I have (if that makes sense).

 

Lara at HOD has rave reviews and the Latins are known for their intimacy and passionate nature...

 

SD

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There is more to life than sex.

 

And if somebody has only had sex by paying for it, I don't get the issue. I don't see why we in society think pulling women is some badge of honour.  

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If you don't mind me saying, I think you are so desperate for what you see as a "normal relationship" that you are over-analysing your life.

You say you've been at university and only had one girlfriend. You go on to say you can see yourself having only two more girlfriends in your lifetime.

Have you considered that you can have a sexual relationship without all that? A one night or similar.

Don't limit yourself with preconceived ideas.

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There is more to life than sex.

 

And if somebody has only had sex by paying for it, I don't get the issue. I don't see why we in society think pulling women is some badge of honour.  

I think there are two points here.

First - you cannot really know what you are missing - how your life would be different if you did not have this big issue with trying to get yourself laid for free. In my case - I can imagine what my life would have been like had I been successful with women - and it is a big issue for me knowing what my life could have been. In the animal kingdom - only a small percentage of males mate - for many species - the strongest males fuck all the females - and the rest live like drones - eating and sleeping - but do they feel any lack? Probably not - as they have no power of thought or imagination. It's different with human males - more so in modern society than ever before - with widespeared access to the media. In old times there were males in rural communties who went without - due to a local lack of women - but they may not have felt the degree of isolation that the modern involunatry celibate feels and there was probably no access to paid sex unless you went to the big city.

The other point is that many men who struggle with women probably feel a strong sense of personal failure - even if they are sucessful in other areas of life. Don't underestimate the boost to one's esteem - of walking arm in arm down the street with a pretty woman who likes you for yourself.

 

So for many it is a big deal if they have had to pay for sex all their lives.

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This hits the nail on the head.

 

 

You know an idea I have had is to make a long-term plan such as the following.

 

For one year (i.e. this one) I will punt - once or twice a month.

 

Next year I will not punt but go out 3 nights a week and make a serious effort to meet women at every opportunity and learn game/pua with the help of local pias.

 

The next year I will punt and so on...Ultimately it is hoped that the penny with regard to getting women will eventually drop and chronic involuntary celibacy and the personal shame of paying for sex will be lifted from me.

 

And if I fail? And I never manage to get a girlfriend or if I never manage to have a family then at least I can look back knowing I tried my best and have no regrets.

 

My prediction is that eventually I will have a girlfriend or two before my time on planet earth is through. But I cannot imagine having a family with any woman unless she is exceptional (like my mum). A man should never underestimate what can go wrong in this respect. You stand not only to lose your wife/love but your children, a lot of your income and house. Not a myth sadly but a very real risk and one that should never be taken lightly...

A very good friend of mine once said "You have to split your life into the issues which are the most important and apportion the greatest percentage of your time and energy to solving those problems which are at the top of the list".

 

I am not knocking your plan - but going on with punting is surely not going to solve your problem. Surely you should put all your efforts into - online dating - friendship clubs - etc etc - until you have found someone you like and who likes you?

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I have no shame whatsoever paying for sex but I always used to think if I was to split from my OH one day and find new love I give up punting but now I'm not so sure. I've met many lovely ladies who are great company regardless of the sex and don't feel as though I want to give that up any time soon.

Sorry to say this but if you feel ashamed of yourself you probably shouldn't be punting at all.

DG

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