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fireplaceman

Does Your Wife Know About You Punting?

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Just a thought, but is there anyone out there who goes punting with his wife's knowledge, or even with her blessing? I keep my activities entirely secret, but there might be some circumstances where it is an open situation between a couple.

 

I sometimes think that it would be nice not to have to lie and conceal the truth, but would that detract from the excitement?

 

 

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I haver never thought it a good idea to tell her and Im sure most would agree. I do not think she would take it too well, I had the hobby before I met her and like train spotting who is going to let a wife get in the way of a hobby that you enjoy!

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i used to see someone many moons ago whose wife chose me???? Likewise, I knew after the fact when my ex husband dabbled, the important word there, EX!!! 

 

Some women turn a blind eye, they don't want hubby to leave but understand they have needs and they are not providing them anymore. 

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Some women turn a blind eye, they don't want hubby to leave but understand they have needs and they are not providing them anymore.

I think that must be quite common. A couple of years ago I had a go at trying to find a fuck-buddy (a total disaster all in all) and in retrospect I'd be amazed if the OH was truly blind to some of what was going on. Our marriage very nearly ended then (not due to a grand discovery but a gradual thinning of the relational bond) until we turned it around to where we are now. She totally knew she was withholding sex before and during that period so I don't think would have been too shocked to discover what I was up to.

For her, the kids and their security come above all considerations and any marital sex life follows after that. For many wives to 'out' their husbands would equal a traumatic family split which they have no desire for.

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It would be disrespectful to confront your partner with this. As it invokes some things you would not expect or have any control of. In that she would feel beholden to set about doing something, and only you know how much that could become an issue.

 

But if she's worth her salt, she will have more than enough nouse to know what you are capable of and likely to do. Its just another string to keep you held by. You sneaking about all furtive and shifty, is another controlling factor that she doesn't need to apply any effort to. It just so happens it's not important enough for her to give up on you.

 

If on its discovery she is likely to say ' i would have respected you more if you had an affair'.

On the discovery of an affair she would say' i would respect you more if you had seen a prostitute'.

You won't win either argument.

 

But you won't be attempting to tell her anything anyway, so keep it so.

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If my other half found out about my punting,the day after I wouldn't have the urge to see a working girl,as she probably be wearing my nuts as earrings

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My OH would blow the moral gasket if she ever found out. She has a pretty good nose for subterfuge and I have to work VERY hard to stay even half a step ahead of her.

DG

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Mine doesn't - I don't think, but I wouldn't lie about it if asked. Nor will I tell lies when I arrange punts.

We haven't had a sexual relationship for over 20 years through something that happened to her. I honestly don't think she'd begrudge me something she can't offer but what she doesn't know won't hurt either. I'm sure it would upset her on some level, even if it's only that I'm off paying for something we would be doing together but for one traumatic event.

:(

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If a woman stops having sex she's not daft enough to think her man won't be going elsewhere. Most would hate to be confronted with it, but deep down they suspect and many would think 'well at least he's leaving me alone!' 

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If a woman stops having sex she's not daft enough to think her man won't be going elsewhere. Most would hate to be confronted with it, but deep down they suspect and many would think 'well at least he's leaving me alone!' 

This.A lot of blokes dont realise half of what their wives know/spot.Whether its sneaking those extra whisky's hat you "definately" didnt have,to what you're getting up to.I remember one of my punters(keep feeling the need to explain that to me this just means customer) who was seeing one of my co workers on the side.They were seeing eachother for years and his wife apparently didnt know the truth.That was until she was drunk and whenever he went missing and she was drunk she'd call us up asking if he was with ?????? and where were they.

I think MinxLydia has it spot on with the at least he's leaving me alone,but also i think some would prefer something they can see as purely physical as opposed to an actual affair

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There's a lot of delusion going on here - a lot of - well I'm sure it wouldn't surprise her as she had turned off the tap - and - things weren't going well between us anyway - and - she'd turn a blind eye rather than let the marriage go to the wall. A lot of suppositions! Based on what?

 

Go to mumsnet - those women who found their husband's punternet or aw account and read all the messages - read what happened next - how she left with the kids and filed for divorce and told all her relatives exactly what she found. It wasn't an affair? Oh no - he had to pay for it! Who else would go with him. Now he's riddled with disease - must protect myself - and the kids.

 

I'm the only punter on here who has openly admitted being found out - others have emailed me and said they too went through the hell of discovery but they just never mention it in open forum posts - they also had gone undetected for years - thought they had a foolproof system - until one day the unexpected happened and she found out - yes - they had a similar experience as me - hell on earth - shame and humiliation and more. The only reason I'm still in my marriage is she decided to believe my protestations of innocence and we have now put it behind us. I have punted 3 times in the last year since that time - the last time was 4 months ago.

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This.A lot of blokes dont realise half of what their wives know/spot.Whether its sneaking those extra whisky's hat you "definately" didnt have,to what you're getting up to.I remember one of my punters(keep feeling the need to explain that to me this just means customer) who was seeing one of my co workers on the side.They were seeing eachother for years and his wife apparently didnt know the truth.That was until she was drunk and whenever he went missing and she was drunk she'd call us up asking if he was with ?????? and where were they.

I think MinxLydia has it spot on with the at least he's leaving me alone,but also i think some would prefer something they can see as purely physical as opposed to an actual affair

 

 

And there in lies the trouble, because half the time, the gents are having an affair, 80% of my clientele, want more than just a quick fuck, otherwise, there would be no need for phrases such as GFE, or Real Lover Experience, or anything else, and so many on here wouldn't complain...

 

She didn't kiss, there was no cuddling, she was cold and mechanical.

 

Sex is sex, is sex.

 

At the end of the day what we give is more than just sex, and while you can't come for sunday dinner, and no we won't end up with a plate full of gravy over or heads if it comes out... we don't just offer straight up sex, we offer what you need, and want, which in a lot of cases, is part companion, part sex, part relationship, part agony aunt, part friend, and a few more bits beside.

 

If you weren't in part having an affair your wife wouldn't mind, Most women see you sleeping with another woman as a betrayal, not because you porked your prick in another hole, but because of the potential for emotional betrayal.

 

You prefer another woman's company to hers, and you talk to another woman rather than her, or spend time with another woman than her.

Which is more what women want and need than Sex.

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but also i think some would prefer something they can see as purely physical as opposed to an actual affair

You just don't understand women at all if that is how you think they would see things.

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And there in lies the trouble, because half the time, the gents are having an affair, 80% of my clientele, want more than just a quick fuck, otherwise, there would be no need for phrases such as GFE, or Real Lover Experience, or anything else, and so many on here wouldn't complain...

 

She didn't kiss, there was no cuddling, she was cold and mechanical.

 

Sex is sex, is sex.

 

At the end of the day what we give is more than just sex, and while you can't come for sunday dinner, and no we won't end up with a plate full of gravy over or heads if it comes out... we don't just offer straight up sex, we offer what you need, and want, which in a lot of cases, is part companion, part sex, part relationship, part agony aunt, part friend, and a few more bits beside.

 

If you weren't in part having an affair your wife wouldn't mind, Most women see you sleeping with another woman as a betrayal, not because you porked your prick in another hole, but because of the potential for emotional betrayal.

 

You prefer another woman's company to hers, and you talk to another woman rather than her, or spend time with another woman than her.

Which is more what women want and need than Sex.

 

Oh how very true. The sex bit would be nothing without the other bits.

 

 

DG

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I was booked regularly by a lovely lady for her hubby.  To start with she made herself scarce, then got either brave or curious and would sit in, after a while she joined in, then she started booking me alone, then....................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He turned nasty and divorced her...

 

True that!

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No...unless she's an actress

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My wife doesn't know, although she did stumble upon some messages on my phone a coupole of years ago which were incriminating, but as my phone had been lost briefly shortly before I was able to bluff my way through it helped by her absolute incredulity at the possibility that I was that way inclined.

 

Funnily enough she was in the company of some friends recently and the ladies talked about the 'massage with hand relief' service they heard was available locally. They laughed about it, but later my wife said to me privately 'you know I wouldn't mind if you wanted to try that sometime'. That is a topic I intend to raise with her again shortly. More often than not that's what I get up to anyway these days. Would be interesting to have the possibility of it being out in the open but whether she would accept it in practce is another question of course.

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My wife doesn't know, although she did stumble upon some messages on my phone a coupole of years ago which were incriminating, but as my phone had been lost briefly shortly before I was able to bluff my way through it helped by her absolute incredulity at the possibility that I was that way inclined.

 

Funnily enough she was in the company of some friends recently and the ladies talked about the 'massage with hand relief' service they heard was available locally. They laughed about it, but later my wife said to me privately 'you know I wouldn't mind if you wanted to try that sometime'. That is a topic I intend to raise with her again shortly. More often than not that's what I get up to anyway these days. Would be interesting to have the possibility of it being out in the open but whether she would accept it in practce is another question of course.

The first part of what you say seems to me very true. A similar thing happened to me. You say that "it helped by her absolute incredulity at the possibility that I was that way inclined." That also seems quite correct the way you describe it. But then she doesn't sound to me like a woman who will turn around and invite you to go for a massage and hand relief. Unless of course she never really believed your story about the phone messages and is testing you. Why not take her up on it openly?

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I did a bit of looking around and found quite an interesting site - anyway on this page there are several tales of woe from women who caught out their partners.

 

http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/husband-admitted-prostitutes/

 

Having been through the lot - I can't find any evidence that wives would "understand" or want to turn a blind eye or would think HR is in any way less cheating than going the whole hog.

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Yes, what you say did occur to me - that she was testing the reaction. I'd love to be able to go for massages openly but it's a tricky thing to bring up again! It might reopen old sores.

 

 

The first part of what you say seems to me very true. A similar thing happened to me. You say that "it helped by her absolute incredulity at the possibility that I was that way inclined." That also seems quite correct the way you describe it. But then she doesn't sound to me like a woman who will turn around and invite you to go for a massage and hand relief. Unless of course she never really believed your story about the phone messages and is testing you. Why not take her up on it openly?

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Yes, what you say did occur to me - that she was testing the reaction. I'd love to be able to go for massages openly but it's a tricky thing to bring up again! It might reopen old sores.

She will wonder why she cannot give you the massage and HR - and pocket the cash.

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My wife pretty much lost all interest in sex since her hysterectomy 5 years ago. Every now and then she'll say things like "you should have an affair" or "you should go see a prostitute". Was almost tempted once to say I already am, but I'm not that stupid.

 

I'm sure she must have a 6th sense about it as every time I have something planned it seems like she makes something overloaded with garlic the night before. Now trying to arrange meetings on days when I'm not working the day before so I can offer to cook dinner that night.

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I was booked regularly by a lovely lady for her hubby.  To start with she made herself scarce, then got either brave or curious and would sit in, after a while she joined in, then she started booking me alone, then....................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He turned nasty and divorced her...

 

True that!

I should think he did!!!!

Selfish cow! As if you'd stand for such selfishness....

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You read about all this stuff and it's hard not to think that guys without wives at present have got the best of the deal.

 

And hopefully you also realise that that isn't the case.

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When I last quizzed her to have sex she suggested I went to a massage parlour! So what do I do now?

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