hotdogburger

Blurting It Out

24 posts in this topic

So, apart from the obvious (such as calling out a WG's name when shagging the missus, or asking her to stick a finger up your arse which for some reason you've started shaving), what are the things to avoid (and/or your horror stories experienced) when trying to avoid telling the wife, your Mum, your drinking mates, your work colleagues, and the people on the number 19 bus, that you're a punter?

 

Some things that spring to mind for me are:

- Don't take a position (and especially, don't take a position in favour of SPs) when prostitution comes up on the news.

- Don't reveal that you discovered a really brilliant place for lunch this week, in a part of town that you don't normally have a reason to go to.

- Don't wander round the high street muttering "condoms" as you move from shop to shop to find the brand you like (I actually found myself doing this in a London suburb recently; I only realised I was doing it when two women looked at me in a very funny way).

 

Anyone else blurted it out, or nearly, and got away with it?

Edited by hotdogburger

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I can tell you that if you're in-laws are aware of the fact that you've had a vasectomy, it is very important that none of them see you in the act of purchasing a comdom at the local drug store.  There are events that can create a discussion you don't want to have, but this creates multiple discussions you don't want to have on so many levels.  

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Simple, I avoid the No 19..........

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Some things that spring to mind for me are:

- Don't take a position (and especially, don't take a position in favour of SPs) when prostitution comes up on the news.

Oddly enough this isnt such an issue.A lot of my punters were chatting about the care home allowing adult workers in to "entertain" the patients.It's supprising how many didn't have a problem with it and didn't have a problem with prostitution in general.The group that supprised me the most were the older Irish being good Catholics,especially the ladies.

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Was in bed kissing a WG last Friday. She caressed my face and said "Your skin is very soft". We had a quick chat about facial (no, not that kind) care. Then resume kissing when she runs her hand through my hair "I love your hair, it's very soft". And another quick chat about hair care.

 

Next day I'm driving in the car with Mrs dbt. She reaches over and caresses the same part of my face as the WG. "Your skin is soft", she says. I nearly blurt out "That's what WG x said". After breif chat about facial care she runs her hand through my hair. "I love your hair, it's really soft." I didn't nearly blurt it out that time, but couldn't help chuckling. I wonder if she has me bugged. :blink:

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Was in bed kissing a WG last Friday. She caressed my face and said "Your skin is very soft". We had a quick chat about facial (no, not that kind) care. Then resume kissing when she runs her hand through my hair "I love your hair, it's very soft". And another quick chat about hair care.

Next day I'm driving in the car with Mrs dbt. She reaches over and caresses the same part of my face as the WG. "Your skin is soft", she says. I nearly blurt out "That's what WG x said". After breif chat about facial care she runs her hand through my hair. "I love your hair, it's really soft." I didn't nearly blurt it out that time, but couldn't help chuckling. I wonder if she has me bugged.

Wow! Scary! You're so lucky your wife caresses your skin affectionately. It must be nice. My wife just isn't a touchy feely type of person at all.

I've sometimes been on the verge of saying, "That's like....". Unthinkingly, almost about to refer to something about a woman I'd been with. You've got to be careful!

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Soft skin and lovely hair.  I bet you've got a 12 inch knob as well.

 

Don't mind me, I'm just jealous.  

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My biggest worry is when some musical or other event crops up in the conversation and I need to remember I saw it with a regular and never with the wife. (Like a lot of things. :( )

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On a booze filled night out with friends I blurted out to a friend that I would love to go see XXXX the next night, imagine my shock when he told me that she wasn't working tomorrow night as he had seen her that day.  

I checked out when XXXX was working & we were lucky enough to get a double appointment with her for her next working evening.

Imagine our shock as we left when we saw the dad of one of our younger colleagues entering the flats where she worked. 

It turned out that from the 7 of us 5 are punters & thought that not one of us realised that any of us punted.

 

SP

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I like reading the opinions of everyone who contributes to this site and constantly have to bite my tongue when I am about to say "someone on Pnet was saying exactly the same thing" or "I was reading about that earlier and they were saying". Because when you make similar comments like those regularly you are bound to be asked "what is it that you are reading so avidly?"

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Imagine our shock as we left when we saw the dad of one of our younger colleagues entering the flats where she worked. 

 

I'm reminded of an old joke about the man who drove up to visit his daughter at a university for the weekend.  Shortly after checking in to his hotel, he called an agency and ordered a hot girl to be dressed as a school girl.  60 minutes later a knock at the door.  He eager jumps to answer the door only to find his own daughter standing their in a skimpy school uniform.  After their initial shock they both agreed not to tell mom.

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i get worried i talk in my sleep.

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On a booze filled night out with friends I blurted out to a friend that I would love to go see XXXX the next night, imagine my shock when he told me that she wasn't working tomorrow night as he had seen her that day.  

I checked out when XXXX was working & we were lucky enough to get a double appointment with her for her next working evening.

Imagine our shock as we left when we saw the dad of one of our younger colleagues entering the flats where she worked. 

It turned out that from the 7 of us 5 are punters & thought that not one of us realised that any of us punted.

 

Which just goes to suggest there are a lot more  punters than people think.

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i get worried i talk in my sleep.

 

Ditto

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Ditto

i sometimes use an app on my phone to record me sleep. it activates when the noise levels reaches a certain point

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One I've fallen foul of is when some girl in the office said, "it's cheaper in Amsterdam," to which I replied, "Well it's not really, in Amsterdam it's 40 pounds for 20 minutes, whereas in London it's 120 pounds for one hour so it works out the same."

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Wow! Scary! You're so lucky your wife caresses your skin affectionately. It must be nice. My wife just isn't a touchy feely type of person at all.

I've sometimes been on the verge of saying, "That's like....". Unthinkingly, almost about to refer to something about a woman I'd been with. You've got to be careful!

 

To the outside world we have the perfect marriage. And it's true right up to the point of climbing in bed and turning out the lights, and a lot of that has been down to different health issues over the past 5-7 years that have pretty much stolen her libido. The love's still there stronger than ever, just not the sex.

 

Soft skin and lovely hair.  I bet you've got a 12 inch knob as well.

 

Don't mind me, I'm just jealous.  

 

You'll be happy to know the complements cease at my knob. When my pants drop, so does the ladies face. :lol:

 

 

One I've fallen foul of is when some girl in the office said, "it's cheaper in Amsterdam," to which I replied, "Well it's not really, in Amsterdam it's 40 pounds for 20 minutes, whereas in London it's 120 pounds for one hour so it works out the same."

 

Whilst walking around Soho with Mrs dbt, she made a comment about one of the walk-ups. I nearly started explaining to her how they work.

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Had two things crop up this week.

 

1. OH finds my shaving equipment in the shower: "You shaved in the shower?"

"Er, oh yes dear.  I was in a rush."

 

2. She finds a packet of condoms I bought in Thailand.  Ouch.  That was slightly harder to explain away. :o

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Had two things crop up this week.

1. OH finds my shaving equipment in the shower: "You shaved in the shower?"

"Er, oh yes dear. I was in a rush."

I shave in the shower normally. Simples.

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To the outside world we have the perfect marriage. And it's true right up to the point of climbing in bed and turning out the lights, and a lot of that has been down to different health issues over the past 5-7 years that have pretty much stolen her libido. The love's still there stronger than ever, just not the sex.

Not specially picking on your comments to post this but thought I would mention.... many men are not aware that being on certain medication... most particularly anti-depressents... can cause a complete lack of libido side effect.  I noted another poster mentioned his wife's depression. That could go a long way explaining the ceasing of interest in any kind of sexual activity if she is taking pills for her condition.

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Not specially picking on your comments to post this but thought I would mention.... many men are not aware that being on certain medication... most particularly anti-depressents... can cause a complete lack of libido side effect.  I noted another poster mentioned his wife's depression. That could go a long way explaining the ceasing of interest in any kind of sexual activity if she is taking pills for her condition.

 

Lynn, when I think about it now, I started punting around the time she was given anti-depressants to treat chronic pain. I always figured it was the chronic headache, but the libido really went with the medication. The hysterectomy a few years later killed off whatever was left. I've never blamed her either out loud or to myself.

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Soft skin and lovely hair.  I bet you've got a 12 inch knob as well.

 

Don't mind me, I'm just jealous.  

Your posts always make me smile a bit 

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Soft skin and lovely hair.  I bet you've got a 12 inch knob as well.

 

Don't mind me, I'm just jealous.  

 

No, but I did have another case of them both giving me the same complement this week within hours of each other. Wake up in the morning and Mrs dbt rolls over puts her arm around me and says "I'm so lucky." Fast forward a couple of hours and in the middle of a punt WG x says "Your wife is very lucky".

 

I won't go into how much of a hypocrite I felt at the time, but it's good to know they're both reading off the same script. I can think of no higher complement and I'm sure I am the lucky one.

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Something fancy computer kit arrived for one of the guys at work from Amazon. We were discussing and admiring his new purchase and I was like, "Seriously, you could have got laid 1.5 times for what you paid for that." Everyone laughed but probably went to check to see if I was right later. Which I was.

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