LikeBigBreasts

Am I (Also) Naïve

41 posts in this topic

Hey everbody

 

This is a relatively common one and I just think it's going to be cathartic to release this. 

 

Yes...I also have feelings for a working girl.  I met her just the once in Feb for a 1 1/2 meeting and we appeared to get on really well.  I spent probably 40-50 minutes just talking to her, free and easy conversation etc.  I actually enjoyed just being with her, talking etc, more than the sex. We both appeared to speak honestly, etc and I just felt there was a connection.  She even seemed somewhat dissapointed when I left and very responsive sexually (although I just think she knows her own body and wants to enjoy herself ontop of making money).  I realy wanted to see her again, but thought it wouldn't be wise.  Maybe she's just a genuinely good natured and friendly girl, nothing particular to me.  I thought I'd maybe give it a couple of weeks to a month and see her again and just say my piece.  Thing is I think way too much. I thought my interest in her would be seen as a burden, also that I might be one of those 'creepy'guys that's looking for a 'free sex'. 

 

I realize I have a lot fo offer and now understand that I have a lot to offer women.  Perceptions of the type(s) of men that use working girls vary, but I don't feel desperate, or especially needy.  So I don't think there's an 'inbalance' where she has much to offer and I'm just a chancer.

 

I'm aware that it's probably just an infaturaion but if you like a person, you like em, right? 

 

I met her on that purple site and have written to her since, but the problem is that I thought she wouldn't remember me, so I wrote as if we're strangers to each other.  She was responding for a while but doesn't log in frequently.  She created a new profile after joining a very dodgy agency for about a week.  There's also my concern that although all the things she has on that profile are things I remember talking with her about, she's 'accessing' from another country.  Personally taken (at least seemingly) pics are on that site, so I'm sure it's her.

 

I arranged a meet, but she wasn't around on the day it was to happen, so she couldn't confirm.  She actually just read my follow-up mail about 3 days ago.  I changed my username (and changed it back) so I'm not sure if she could respond.  Additionally there was some other feedback stating she wasn't responsive.  So who knows?

 

My dilema is should I (try) to meet her again and just enjoy it for what is is and maybe tell her I like her, or just write a cathcaric email (not too my pouring out of the soul, but more detailing my feeling/interest in her and just wish her the best).  It's an odd thing because I know if I just write the message it'll release all the anxiety i have about it, I think I'll be able to move on.  I already have.  I'm quite circumspect about things, realize it's a losing proposition, but like I said- I just like her.  

 

It's strange and probably my naïveté  but I was really enthusiastic after we met.  Partly because we had a great experience, but I also felt this mystical believe that I'd somehow meet her again.  I'm laughing because I couldn've just booked her!  But I meant that I'd somehow, someway bump into her....kinda silly, but...

 

Anyway I realize we met under the wrong circumstances, it's very unlikey anything will come of it.

 

I don't think anyone here will be spiteful so you're welcome to write however you wish. 

 

I think I wanted to ask a few questions but ain't!

 

Should I try to meet her and just enjoy it for what is it? (sex)

 

Should I meet, say my piece/ask her out and leave it upto her?

 

Should I just write one last message to her just detailing where I'm at?  I.e that I liked her, realize we met under the wrong circumstances etc.  Not for a response (although I'm hoping there's something to it, that it's not just a one sided infatuation)

 

I am invested and want a good outcome for myself, but am also circumspect and can accept that it's unlikely.   I'm looking to maybe contact her again Friday, maybe Monday.  I want to just move on rather than pining for someone I can't even see for months. 

 

She's actually about to study at the same university my sister's due to go back to in Oct, same subject (different years) too.  I thought I'd maybe ask my sister to hand a note to her, but again I didn't want to pine for a girl for 3/4th of a year and who knows maybe she's had a boyfriend, not remember me, etc.  Can't happen now because I've already written to her and (re)introduced myself.

 

It's a mess, but...well, y'know.

 

Imperial...I sympathize with you!

 

Thanks.y

 

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Interesting OP.

 

I would say that anyone, anywhere can be struck by cupid's arrow and what some label as 'infatuation' is really the same as the feelings two lovers might feel (the same chemicals are rushing around the body), the only difference is that it's usually unrequited.  And there in lays the rub.  You need to know how she feels for any such feelings you're having to either develop further or be put to death.

 

I'd contact her and pretty much say what you said in the OP.  Say you went in looking for NSA sex but felt like you made a connection which seems to have persisted despite deliberately choosing to stay away (so to starve it of oxygen).  If she says that she doesn't/can't requite your feelings then that's that and I would strongly suggest staying away for punting.  You'll only scratch that emotional itch you're feeling and it'll get worse.

 

Of course, if she says she has similar feelings then maybe suggest meeting for coffee/chat as a social thing.  Don't pay her for sex and see what comes from that.

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It's a mess, but...well, y'know.

 

Oh yes, I know it only too well!

 

I think I'd say pretty much the same as JamesRichards. Test the waters, and if she doesn't knock you back then try arranging to meet for coffee. Be prepared for 'I wouldn't go out with anybody I've met through my work', though.

 

And I wouldn't use your sister as some sort of go-between - or any third party, actually. It would only make her wonder what you'd said to explain your interest.

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My advice is this and I know you wont follow it. See her as much as you can and dont drive her away by asking her out as there is a 90 per cent probability as that is what will happen. If she likes you she will ask you out.

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My advice is this and I know you wont follow it. See her as much as you can and dont drive her away by asking her out as there is a 90 per cent probability as that is what will happen. If she likes you she will ask you out.

 

This is precisely the right advice.

And yet I probably wouldn't have followed it either.

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This is precisely the right advice.

And yet I probably wouldn't have followed it either.

The problem with this is the emotional torture you will put yourself through seeing the lady. The 'what ifs' and 'maybes'. The second guessing and trying to spot signs. If your heart is committed it can't be NSA friendly sex and that will hurt you.

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I would take it for what it is - a paid encounter.

I've seen a girl a few times and really like her in terms of her personality etc. I know her real name, we text each other occasionally (on our personal numbers) and get along just fine. Texting is something I would never have considered other than to make a booking, but she asked if it was ok to text me, and said she didn't mind me texting her at any time.

However to me it is, and always will be, a business relationship where I pay her for her time and nothing more. In the (highly) unlikely event that she would want it to go further then that would be the end of it. I'm 99.9999% certain that will never happen and am perfectly happy with things as they are. I'm just enjoying myself, she seems happy enough so I don't see the harm in it.

There's no reason you can't be friendly with her, but I'd be very careful about trying to progress further than that.

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what you are getting is GFE you go to see a wg a couple of times she gets to know you too they tell you there real name let slip some personal information you get all cozy with them they get repeat business cause you keep coming back for more thinking youre the special one its unlikely you will get a proper boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but maybe you can be friends

 

she must have cracking tits or something :P

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That's great progress , punter starts a thread about how little he knows of wg then in a few days he is on this thread giving out advice . You have to laugh , sorry .

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That's great progress , punter starts a thread about how little he knows of wg then in a few days he is on this thread giving out advice . You have to laugh , sorry .

You'll probably notice that my advice consisted of

 

1. I agree with JamesRichards - tell her how you feel.

2. I agree with matrix837 - don't.

 

But if you think there's anything wrong with the bit about not involving the OP's sister, do, please, explain.

Edited by Imperial

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Hey everbody

 

This is a relatively common one and I just think it's going to be cathartic to release this. 

 

Yes...I also have feelings for a working girl.  I met her just the once in Feb for a 1 1/2 meeting and we appeared to get on really well.  I spent probably 40-50 minutes just talking to her, free and easy conversation etc.  I actually enjoyed just being with her, talking etc, more than the sex. We both appeared to speak honestly, etc and I just felt there was a connection.  She even seemed somewhat dissapointed when I left and very responsive sexually (although I just think she knows her own body and wants to enjoy herself ontop of making money).  I realy wanted to see her again, but thought it wouldn't be wise.  Maybe she's just a genuinely good natured and friendly girl, nothing particular to me.  I thought I'd maybe give it a couple of weeks to a month and see her again and just say my piece.  Thing is I think way too much. I thought my interest in her would be seen as a burden, also that I might be one of those 'creepy'guys that's looking for a 'free sex'. 

 

I realize I have a lot fo offer and now understand that I have a lot to offer women.  Perceptions of the type(s) of men that use working girls vary, but I don't feel desperate, or especially needy.  So I don't think there's an 'inbalance' where she has much to offer and I'm just a chancer.

 

I'm aware that it's probably just an infaturaion but if you like a person, you like em, right? 

 

I met her on that purple site and have written to her since, but the problem is that I thought she wouldn't remember me, so I wrote as if we're strangers to each other.  She was responding for a while but doesn't log in frequently.  She created a new profile after joining a very dodgy agency for about a week.  There's also my concern that although all the things she has on that profile are things I remember talking with her about, she's 'accessing' from another country.  Personally taken (at least seemingly) pics are on that site, so I'm sure it's her.

 

I arranged a meet, but she wasn't around on the day it was to happen, so she couldn't confirm.  She actually just read my follow-up mail about 3 days ago.  I changed my username (and changed it back) so I'm not sure if she could respond.  Additionally there was some other feedback stating she wasn't responsive.  So who knows?

 

My dilema is should I (try) to meet her again and just enjoy it for what is is and maybe tell her I like her, or just write a cathcaric email (not too my pouring out of the soul, but more detailing my feeling/interest in her and just wish her the best).  It's an odd thing because I know if I just write the message it'll release all the anxiety i have about it, I think I'll be able to move on.  I already have.  I'm quite circumspect about things, realize it's a losing proposition, but like I said- I just like her.  

 

It's strange and probably my naïveté  but I was really enthusiastic after we met.  Partly because we had a great experience, but I also felt this mystical believe that I'd somehow meet her again.  I'm laughing because I couldn've just booked her!  But I meant that I'd somehow, someway bump into her....kinda silly, but...

 

Anyway I realize we met under the wrong circumstances, it's very unlikey anything will come of it.

 

I don't think anyone here will be spiteful so you're welcome to write however you wish. 

 

I think I wanted to ask a few questions but ain't!

 

Should I try to meet her and just enjoy it for what is it? (sex)

 

Should I meet, say my piece/ask her out and leave it upto her?

 

Should I just write one last message to her just detailing where I'm at?  I.e that I liked her, realize we met under the wrong circumstances etc.  Not for a response (although I'm hoping there's something to it, that it's not just a one sided infatuation)

 

I am invested and want a good outcome for myself, but am also circumspect and can accept that it's unlikely.   I'm looking to maybe contact her again Friday, maybe Monday.  I want to just move on rather than pining for someone I can't even see for months. 

 

She's actually about to study at the same university my sister's due to go back to in Oct, same subject (different years) too.  I thought I'd maybe ask my sister to hand a note to her, but again I didn't want to pine for a girl for 3/4th of a year and who knows maybe she's had a boyfriend, not remember me, etc.  Can't happen now because I've already written to her and (re)introduced myself.

 

It's a mess, but...well, y'know.

 

Imperial...I sympathize with you!

 

Thanks.y

This is becoming a well worn path going on posts on here. I punt for sex and no strings, no hassle, so my advice is to do the same. However, if your set on this WG just ask her out and see what she says, bearing in mind it could mean she decides not to accept future bookings off you if she isnt interested. Respect her decision either way, good luck.

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That's great progress , punter starts a thread about how little he knows of wg then in a few days he is on this thread giving out advice . You have to laugh , sorry .

 

If your sorry why post this in the first place?  All opinions are valid no matter who they are off surely, especially those that are going through the same thing.

 

Now for my fivepenneth worth.  These 'wanting to get closer to my working girl' type posts worry me and I'll explain why.  As a client or an SP it stands to reason that there are going to be occasions when the click factor goes a little further, you are after all getting into a very intimate situation.  Also the lines and boundaries can become blurred because of that intimacy.

 

Now I'm not saying that relationships can't or shouldn't happen, but there are so many outside factors that need to be taken into consideration that men in particular don't seem to be able to grasp.  There have been several occasions I've had to sit guys down and explain that yes during our time together it was pretty intense and yes it may have appeared that there could have been a whole lot more if the chance arose BUT.........  The very next guy that walked through my door nearly always left feeling the same way and I had to do that sitting down letting down gently speech so many times.

 

You see it was my job to make them feel that way, it was my job to make them feel good about themselves and special, it was my job to ensure they walked back out of my door feeling as if they were walking on air, it was also my job to make sure they came back for more and I did this with each and everyone of them.  I would listen and get a feel for how they thought, how they felt, what it was about them that was most important to them then I would set about flattering those ego's like you wouldn't believe, I would seduce them from the moment I first spoke to them to the moment they left.

 

It was my job to try to be all things to all men, but during that time with me, they were the only one important to me....... That was my job and as awful as this may sound, if my clients fell in love with me, then I was doing my job well.

 

Working girls can be fantastic actresses!!!

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You must get some interesting bookings as i certainly do not get these 'feelings' for women i fuck within a few minutes of meeting them. Note, i dont use th term escort here, as on occassion i have had wild sex with a woman i have only just met e.g on a train or in a club. It is obviously more common to be paid for sex but that is not the point.

 

The point is it is not possible to have the feelings the OP has described so quickly, sadly he has fallen for the sales pitch of the escort/civvie. 100% any girl who makes out she likes a guy that quickly has an alterior motive, an escort it is obvious, more bookings. A civvie girl it may be something else, get back at her hubby/bf, more money in terms of swanky nights out, who knows, but the OP is seriously misguided if he thinks the girl gives a flying fuck about him other than hs money.

 

OP, with all due respect, i admire your honesty, and i am not being spiteful at all as it is great to read such a well written post, but i cant sugar coat my advice, which is to man up and treat escorts as business acquaaintances, have fun with them, be polite, then when the door closes afterwards, forget about them till next time you need an orgasm.

If your sorry why post this in the first place?  All opinions are valid no matter who they are off surely, especially those that are going through the same thing.

 

Now for my fivepenneth worth.  These 'wanting to get closer to my working girl' type posts worry me and I'll explain why.  As a client or an SP it stands to reason that there are going to be occasions when the click factor goes a little further, you are after all getting into a very intimate situation.  Also the lines and boundaries can become blurred because of that intimacy.

 

Now I'm not saying that relationships can't or shouldn't happen, but there are so many outside factors that need to be taken into consideration that men in particular don't seem to be able to grasp.  There have been several occasions I've had to sit guys down and explain that yes during our time together it was pretty intense and yes it may have appeared that there could have been a whole lot more if the chance arose BUT.........  The very next guy that walked through my door nearly always left feeling the same way and I had to do that sitting down letting down gently speech so many times.

 

You see it was my job to make them feel that way, it was my job to make them feel good about themselves and special, it was my job to ensure they walked back out of my door feeling as if they were walking on air, it was also my job to make sure they came back for more and I did this with each and everyone of them.  I would listen and get a feel for how they thought, how they felt, what it was about them that was most important to them then I would set about flattering those ego's like you wouldn't believe, I would seduce them from the moment I first spoke to them to the moment they left.

 

It was my job to try to be all things to all men, but during that time with me, they were the only one important to me....... That was my job and as awful as this may sound, if my clients fell in love with me, then I was doing my job well.

 

Working girls can be fantastic actresses!!!

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I'm back.

 

Sorry, but this is a long'un.  [Feel free to skim through the waffle and concentrate on pertinent points]

 

Thank you to everyone for the responses.  Also sorry about my poor grammar/punctuation, really thought I'd looked that post through.  It'll probably happen again though, it's a lot of effort to fix up this stuff...I'm sorry.  :P

 

Anyway it's all good advice.

 

Just a little additional info; this girl may not intend to do this as a long term thing.  When I first met her I was probably about the 6th person she'd met.  Incidentally there was another girl in the flat and the difference between them was (to me) readily apparent.  She's also listed on that other site & has reduced her prices (a little).  I don't know her and don't intend to judge, but it's like a somewhat cynical, world weary woman who's obviously in it for the money.  Different woman, life experiences, attitudes and expectations of life.  Working girls (as you might expect) do vary in temperament, disposition, etc.

 

I also wanna say that I think my 'level of interest' in her seems (from my perspective) about right.  In other words I like her and naturally felt some attraction and interest.  If anything I think my indecisiveness might have messed up things.  I think writing is nice, but I believe that I would've made a better impression 'in the flesh'.  I could also have just discerned whether it was lust or something more genuine.  I might be 'embellishing' things a little.  Met someone once, had a good conversation plus pleasant sex and now the mind is elaborating and fleshing out something that wasn't much to begin with.

 

I've read a few other threads about this stuff over the last month or so and the advice was often great.  E.g I only 'know' (if you can even say that) this girl in limited circumstances.  Maybe we aren't compatible in terms of personality, maybe we both presented the 'best' versions of ourselves.  Maybe she has issues that I couldn't deal with.  Hell...I could be crazy!  Who the 'F' knows, y'know?

 

Addition:  my older brother has a girlfriend and he's just talking generally about his experiences.  When he's telling me you've gotta be sure about someone, know them well before truly committing to them, that you need to/should be attracted to the girl of course, but that's not the only thing.  Well it's basic stuff that most adults should be familiar with.  My point is that there's like a dual set of attitudes/themes running through my mind.  I like someone, but also realize that there are the usual set of issues to contend with.  That plus it's all speculative on my part.  I might/may be just another 'good punter' (really dislike that term 'punter' for some reason).  So I might be getting myself all worked up over nothing. 

 

Interesting OP.

 

I would say that anyone, anywhere can be struck by cupid's arrow and what some label as 'infatuation' is really the same as the feelings two lovers might feel (the same chemicals are rushing around the body), the only difference is that it's usually unrequited.  And there in lays the rub.  You need to know how she feels for any such feelings you're having to either develop further or be put to death.

 

I'd contact her and pretty much say what you said in the OP.  Say you went in looking for NSA sex but felt like you made a connection which seems to have persisted despite deliberately choosing to stay away (so to starve it of oxygen).  If she says that she doesn't/can't requite your feelings then that's that and I would strongly suggest staying away for punting.  You'll only scratch that emotional itch you're feeling and it'll get worse.

 

Of course, if she says she has similar feelings then maybe suggest meeting for coffee/chat as a social thing.  Don't pay her for sex and see what comes from that.

 

Just to write another email and go through my stuff?  It's what I thought, too.  Not much risk.  I intend to just move on from this type of thing (punting) anyway.  If I don't get that favorable response I could imagine myself logging in every so often and looking to see if she's still around, but after a while I assume that thing's will fade and I'll move on.  My parents are still married (even with the usual stuff that goes on within a marriage), but other people get divorced, break up etc.  I just mean that it's obvious that there's more than one woman out there for me.  In the two months since I met her, I've had (at least I perceive) some interest from other woman.  Some of them are quite similar in terms of personality and looks (without quite as spectacularly sized chests unfortunately. :D ).  I didn't make a move partly because I do have this outstanding thing with feeling (lol not even 'knowing' it, but 'feeling') I'm 'burdening' women by being interested in them and partly because I do have an attraction to this girl which filters my perception of other women.

 

I've read other profiles and saw women telling people in the FAQ's that 'no, I don't want a boyfriend', etc.  Why would I wanna be that dude?  When I read a blog that says yes I sometimes do have a special thing for a certain guy, but it's just the wrong circumstances for anything to happen, I know it would also (probably) apply to me, too.

 

So yeah, there's to be another day with other chances and yeah I still do have that urge for a little more sexual exploration.  I'd rather just go my own way now, though and meet woman the 'conventional' way.

 

Oh yes, I know it only too well!
 

I think I'd say pretty much the same as JamesRichards. Test the waters, and if she doesn't knock you back then try arranging to meet for coffee. Be prepared for 'I wouldn't go out with anybody I've met through my work', though.

 


And I wouldn't use your sister as some sort of go-between - or any third party, actually. It would only make her wonder what you'd said to explain your interest.


It wasn't something I definitely intended to do, but I felt...an irrational optimism about things.  I actually asked my sis if she's definitely going back to finish her studies and just said casually that there was a girl I met & asked that if I was still interested in her, would she pass on a note or just say 'my brother met you once, [description of me], blah-blah-blah'.  She did wonder how I met her and I just said I met her "at her job". 

 

Anyway I think I've 'F'ed it up anyway, by writing to her and not (re)introducing myself properly.  Plus this probably is a one-sided infatuation.

 

My advice is this and I know you wont follow it. See her as much as you can and dont drive her away by asking her out as there is a 90 per cent probability as that is what will happen. If she likes you she will ask you out.

 

Also some good advice, thing is I have constraints.  I agree with others who say that this type of thing might not be for me.  I only really have the money for one more (possibly 2) visits, plus I just don't wanna do this anymore.  Factor in that she appears to be unresponsive to emails/requests.  I was trying to be too 'cool' about things and (as mentioned in the op) didn't want to be 'that guy' who pesters and sees someone too much.  I was in two minds about it.  Knew she didn't intend to do this long and often went away for a few weeks-months at a time.  I thought I should just see her again about 1-2 wks after that first meet but decided against it.  Occasionally looked at that site...yeah I'm one of those guy's who scrolls through the site looking like 'wow, I could sleep with this one!  That one too!', etc, but as I told her I think that I wouldn't like to continue this in the longer term.  I don't feel like it's a need and would just like to meet women the 'conventional' way.  Anyway she disappeared and reappeared with a new profile that (gratifyingly for me) seemed to mirror a few of the things we did (in terms of likes, what type of man she'd (ideally) appreciate as a 'client', etc).  Could be me flattering myself that I had a profound effect on her(!), but who knows?

 

Also this woman seems to be an infrequent visitor to that site.  As mentioned there was another guy who's feedback indicated that she didn't respond to requests.  She may be busy, moving back to 'civilian life', visiting friends, visit the site or just every so often to get her requests and contact details...who knows?  It's worthless me speculating.

 

I would take it for what it is - a paid encounter.

I've seen a girl a few times and really like her in terms of her personality etc. I know her real name, we text each other occasionally (on our personal numbers) and get along just fine. Texting is something I would never have considered other than to make a booking, but she asked if it was ok to text me, and said she didn't mind me texting her at any time.

However to me it is, and always will be, a business relationship where I pay her for her time and nothing more. In the (highly) unlikely event that she would want it to go further then that would be the end of it. I'm 99.9999% certain that will never happen and am perfectly happy with things as they are. I'm just enjoying myself, she seems happy enough so I don't see the harm in it.

There's no reason you can't be friendly with her, but I'd be very careful about trying to progress further than that.

 

I only started meeting women this way last year.  I thought...well I did lack confidence & was quite inexperienced sexually.  I spent a lot of time scrolling through profiles, umming and ahhing about meeting, till one day I just thought "ahh shits to this, I'm a do it".  I've had 4 meetings (she was the third) probably spaced two months apart.  The first two I liked (in a generic sense, i.e thought well of them), but felt no special excitement about seeing them again.  It's only been this girl that I've really had a true interest in.  

 

There's another thread I started which was probably around the time of the failed meet, I met someone else who's the fouth (and at present last) woman I've met this way.  I was disappointed that the meeting with the aforementioned girl didn't go ahead and was 'determined' to...to just have some sex.  I met this girl and well it was OK.  She wasn't the girl in the pics, which figures <_< .  Again I talked to her before and after sex, she revealed a little of her story.  Sappy though it is she also had an experience with a dude 2yrs ago and she still has a thing for him...and she never even slept with him.  This girl has since (apparently) given up this sort of work after maybe 2wks of escorting, but again she has debts, etc. I asked her about this girl I liked and she gave much the same advice as you folks.  Told me that although she thought I was a 'good man' (her words) that some women just wouldn't have a relationship with a 'client'.  She also felt quite relieved that I was 'willing' to consider something with a working girl.  Anyway point is that you may have a perception or set of stereotypes about many different people, but their attitudes, goal and motivations for doing whatever they do can vary (within limits).

 

Some girls might be craven and cynical, others might have had mostly positive experiences and view this as a great job.  Others just need something to pay the bills, others might have psychological issues that compel them to act in personally destructive ways. 

 

My girl?  Well we have quite similar backgrounds (in terms of restrictive/religious upbringings).  She's not from the UK (although is a citizen).  Nothing we talked about was contentious, just regular, everyday things. I say she's genuine.

 

what you are getting is GFE you go to see a wg a couple of times she gets to know you too they tell you there real name let slip some personal information you get all cozy with them they get repeat business cause you keep coming back for more thinking youre the special one its unlikely you will get a proper boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but maybe you can be friends

 

she must have cracking tits or something :P

 

Uh....well sir, yes.  They are very, very big, high and firm.  It's kinda a shame I might have handled em for the first and last time!

 

Also yeah, I did get her 'propa' name and we shared some other info.  It might've been to get a 'regular' since she hadn't met that many clients.  At the end I did tell her that I would 'hopefully never see you again' at which she did appear....crestfallen, OK maybe a little disappointed.  I did explain that I thought I no longer need to meet women this way so it was nothing personal to her, but I also knew it was a little manipulative.   That English (although I'm not English) way of saying the opposite of what you really mean/want.

 

This is becoming a well worn path going on posts on here. I punt for sex and no strings, no hassle, so my advice is to do the same. However, if your set on this WG just ask her out and see what she says, bearing in mind it could mean she decides not to accept future bookings off you if she isnt interested. Respect her decision either way, good luck.

 

So you suggest I just write my piece and leave it up-to her?  I think that might be best too, since she seems difficult to contact.  I just have this idea that I won't be able to book her as she's an infrequent user of Purple site.  Plus I've met her once and didn't get that second booking since her change of agency to (what seems) independent

 

For all my writing on and on I just would like advice about whether to try and book her again or just to write a message saying my piece.  My emails to her were polite if somewhat sterile sounding.  I did tell her who I am and that we've met before.  I'm not sure whether she can respond to me due to my profile change around. 

 

I might leave it till Saturday, or maybe Monday.

 

Thanks again.

 

[also it took me a long time to quote a few of the replies and craft my responses.  So if there's duplication of information, incomplete or inconsistent responses....sorry.  It's just a long editing process]

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If your sorry why post this in the first place?  All opinions are valid no matter who they are off surely, especially those that are going through the same thing.

 

Now for my fivepenneth worth.  These 'wanting to get closer to my working girl' type posts worry me and I'll explain why.  As a client or an SP it stands to reason that there are going to be occasions when the click factor goes a little further, you are after all getting into a very intimate situation.  Also the lines and boundaries can become blurred because of that intimacy.

 

Now I'm not saying that relationships can't or shouldn't happen, but there are so many outside factors that need to be taken into consideration that men in particular don't seem to be able to grasp.  There have been several occasions I've had to sit guys down and explain that yes during our time together it was pretty intense and yes it may have appeared that there could have been a whole lot more if the chance arose BUT.........  The very next guy that walked through my door nearly always left feeling the same way and I had to do that sitting down letting down gently speech so many times.

 

You see it was my job to make them feel that way, it was my job to make them feel good about themselves and special, it was my job to ensure they walked back out of my door feeling as if they were walking on air, it was also my job to make sure they came back for more and I did this with each and everyone of them.  I would listen and get a feel for how they thought, how they felt, what it was about them that was most important to them then I would set about flattering those ego's like you wouldn't believe, I would seduce them from the moment I first spoke to them to the moment they left.

 

It was my job to try to be all things to all men, but during that time with me, they were the only one important to me....... That was my job and as awful as this may sound, if my clients fell in love with me, then I was doing my job well.

 

Working girls can be fantastic actresses!!!

 

Again...I agree.  Only thing is I would say that (as I've mentioned in a post I'm waiting on approval for) I've met now 4 working girls.  I liked three as in just figured that they're decent folks, seemed good natured and friendly, but haven't written to them since (two seem to have retired) and feel no special interest in them.  One was after this girl.  So I say it's unique to this particular woman and nothing habitual with me.

 

Other thing is I actually appreciate people that can give someone their undivided attention and find something, anything that allows them to take a genuine interest in people.  For me I really liked the sex, but it also affirmed something I've read in manuals, forums etc, that your sexuality is your own responsibility.  I know she's just a sexual, responsive type of girl and I can only shrug-my-shoulders at the fact that other men have slept with her and probably elicited similar responses.  I should feel jealous (considering all I've written) but it's nothing I can help. 

 

You must get some interesting bookings as i certainly do not get these 'feelings' for women i fuck within a few minutes of meeting them. Note, i dont use th term escort here, as on occassion i have had wild sex with a woman i have only just met e.g on a train or in a club. It is obviously more common to be paid for sex but that is not the point.

 

The point is it is not possible to have the feelings the OP has described so quickly, sadly he has fallen for the sales pitch of the escort/civvie. 100% any girl who makes out she likes a guy that quickly has an alterior motive, an escort it is obvious, more bookings. A civvie girl it may be something else, get back at her hubby/bf, more money in terms of swanky nights out, who knows, but the OP is seriously misguided if he thinks the girl gives a flying fuck about him other than hs money.

 

OP, with all due respect, i admire your honesty, and i am not being spiteful at all as it is great to read such a well written post, but i cant sugar coat my advice, which is to man up and treat escorts as business acquaaintances, have fun with them, be polite, then when the door closes afterwards, forget about them till next time you need an orgasm.

 

I thought I'd better respond individually, but I've probably covered much of this stuff in other messages.  It's mostly above.  Out of four meetings it's just the one who's had a 'strong effect' on me.  My intention was to just meet for nsa but of course have a 'good regard' for the person I'm with.  Might just be hormones, pheromones, somatic markers and other stuff.

 

Anyway with this additional info what say you? 

 

Not sure, but I think I might not meet anymore woman this way.  If I do, I expect it'll go the way it usually has.  I.e I like (or maybe lust after) these woman, enjoy what would be good sex and leave them be.

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I'm back.

 

Sorry, but this is a long'un.  [Feel free to skim through the waffle and concentrate on pertinent points]

 

Thank you to everyone for the responses.  Also sorry about my poor grammar/punctuation, really thought I'd looked that post through.  It'll probably happen again though, it's a lot of effort to fix up this stuff...I'm sorry.  :P

 

Anyway it's all good advice.

 

Just a little additional info; this girl may not intend to do this as a long term thing.  When I first met her I was probably about the 6th person she'd met.  Incidentally there was another girl in the flat and the difference between them was (to me) readily apparent.  She's also listed on that other site & has reduced her prices (a little).  I don't know her and don't intend to judge, but it's like a somewhat cynical, world weary woman who's obviously in it for the money.  Different woman, life experiences, attitudes and expectations of life.  Working girls (as you might expect) do vary in temperament, disposition, etc.

 

I also wanna say that I think my 'level of interest' in her seems (from my perspective) about right.  In other words I like her and naturally felt some attraction and interest.  If anything I think my indecisiveness might have messed up things.  I think writing is nice, but I believe that I would've made a better impression 'in the flesh'.  I could also have just discerned whether it was lust or something more genuine.  I might be 'embellishing' things a little.  Met someone once, had a good conversation plus pleasant sex and now the mind is elaborating and fleshing out something that wasn't much to begin with.

 

I've read a few other threads about this stuff over the last month or so and the advice was often great.  E.g I only 'know' (if you can even say that) this girl in limited circumstances.  Maybe we aren't compatible in terms of personality, maybe we both presented the 'best' versions of ourselves.  Maybe she has issues that I couldn't deal with.  Hell...I could be crazy!  Who the 'F' knows, y'know?

 

Addition:  my older brother has a girlfriend and he's just talking generally about his experiences.  When he's telling me you've gotta be sure about someone, know them well before truly committing to them, that you need to/should be attracted to the girl of course, but that's not the only thing.  Well it's basic stuff that most adults should be familiar with.  My point is that there's like a dual set of attitudes/themes running through my mind.  I like someone, but also realize that there are the usual set of issues to contend with.  That plus it's all speculative on my part.  I might/may be just another 'good punter' (really dislike that term 'punter' for some reason).  So I might be getting myself all worked up over nothing. 

 

 

Just to write another email and go through my stuff?  It's what I thought, too.  Not much risk.  I intend to just move on from this type of thing (punting) anyway.  If I don't get that favorable response I could imagine myself logging in every so often and looking to see if she's still around, but after a while I assume that thing's will fade and I'll move on.  My parents are still married (even with the usual stuff that goes on within a marriage), but other people get divorced, break up etc.  I just mean that it's obvious that there's more than one woman out there for me.  In the two months since I met her, I've had (at least I perceive) some interest from other woman.  Some of them are quite similar in terms of personality and looks (without quite as spectacularly sized chests unfortunately. :D ).  I didn't make a move partly because I do have this outstanding thing with feeling (lol not even 'knowing' it, but 'feeling') I'm 'burdening' women by being interested in them and partly because I do have an attraction to this girl which filters my perception of other women.

 

I've read other profiles and saw women telling people in the FAQ's that 'no, I don't want a boyfriend', etc.  Why would I wanna be that dude?  When I read a blog that says yes I sometimes do have a special thing for a certain guy, but it's just the wrong circumstances for anything to happen, I know it would also (probably) apply to me, too.

 

So yeah, there's to be another day with other chances and yeah I still do have that urge for a little more sexual exploration.  I'd rather just go my own way now, though and meet woman the 'conventional' way.

 

It wasn't something I definitely intended to do, but I felt...an irrational optimism about things.  I actually asked my sis if she's definitely going back to finish her studies and just said casually that there was a girl I met & asked that if I was still interested in her, would she pass on a note or just say 'my brother met you once, [description of me], blah-blah-blah'.  She did wonder how I met her and I just said I met her "at her job". 

 

Anyway I think I've 'F'ed it up anyway, by writing to her and not (re)introducing myself properly.  Plus this probably is a one-sided infatuation.

 

 

Also some good advice, thing is I have constraints.  I agree with others who say that this type of thing might not be for me.  I only really have the money for one more (possibly 2) visits, plus I just don't wanna do this anymore.  Factor in that she appears to be unresponsive to emails/requests.  I was trying to be too 'cool' about things and (as mentioned in the op) didn't want to be 'that guy' who pesters and sees someone too much.  I was in two minds about it.  Knew she didn't intend to do this long and often went away for a few weeks-months at a time.  I thought I should just see her again about 1-2 wks after that first meet but decided against it.  Occasionally looked at that site...yeah I'm one of those guy's who scrolls through the site looking like 'wow, I could sleep with this one!  That one too!', etc, but as I told her I think that I wouldn't like to continue this in the longer term.  I don't feel like it's a need and would just like to meet women the 'conventional' way.  Anyway she disappeared and reappeared with a new profile that (gratifyingly for me) seemed to mirror a few of the things we did (in terms of likes, what type of man she'd (ideally) appreciate as a 'client', etc).  Could be me flattering myself that I had a profound effect on her(!), but who knows?

 

Also this woman seems to be an infrequent visitor to that site.  As mentioned there was another guy who's feedback indicated that she didn't respond to requests.  She may be busy, moving back to 'civilian life', visiting friends, visit the site or just every so often to get her requests and contact details...who knows?  It's worthless me speculating.

 

 

I only started meeting women this way last year.  I thought...well I did lack confidence & was quite inexperienced sexually.  I spent a lot of time scrolling through profiles, umming and ahhing about meeting, till one day I just thought "ahh shits to this, I'm a do it".  I've had 4 meetings (she was the third) probably spaced two months apart.  The first two I liked (in a generic sense, i.e thought well of them), but felt no special excitement about seeing them again.  It's only been this girl that I've really had a true interest in.  

 

There's another thread I started which was probably around the time of the failed meet, I met someone else who's the fouth (and at present last) woman I've met this way.  I was disappointed that the meeting with the aforementioned girl didn't go ahead and was 'determined' to...to just have some sex.  I met this girl and well it was OK.  She wasn't the girl in the pics, which figures <_< .  Again I talked to her before and after sex, she revealed a little of her story.  Sappy though it is she also had an experience with a dude 2yrs ago and she still has a thing for him...and she never even slept with him.  This girl has since (apparently) given up this sort of work after maybe 2wks of escorting, but again she has debts, etc. I asked her about this girl I liked and she gave much the same advice as you folks.  Told me that although she thought I was a 'good man' (her words) that some women just wouldn't have a relationship with a 'client'.  She also felt quite relieved that I was 'willing' to consider something with a working girl.  Anyway point is that you may have a perception or set of stereotypes about many different people, but their attitudes, goal and motivations for doing whatever they do can vary (within limits).

 

Some girls might be craven and cynical, others might have had mostly positive experiences and view this as a great job.  Others just need something to pay the bills, others might have psychological issues that compel them to act in personally destructive ways. 

 

My girl?  Well we have quite similar backgrounds (in terms of restrictive/religious upbringings).  She's not from the UK (although is a citizen).  Nothing we talked about was contentious, just regular, everyday things. I say she's genuine.

 

 

Uh....well sir, yes.  They are very, very big, high and firm.  It's kinda a shame I might have handled em for the first and last time!

 

Also yeah, I did get her 'propa' name and we shared some other info.  It might've been to get a 'regular' since she hadn't met that many clients.  At the end I did tell her that I would 'hopefully never see you again' at which she did appear....crestfallen, OK maybe a little disappointed.  I did explain that I thought I no longer need to meet women this way so it was nothing personal to her, but I also knew it was a little manipulative.   That English (although I'm not English) way of saying the opposite of what you really mean/want.

 

 

So you suggest I just write my piece and leave it up-to her?  I think that might be best too, since she seems difficult to contact.  I just have this idea that I won't be able to book her as she's an infrequent user of Purple site.  Plus I've met her once and didn't get that second booking since her change of agency to (what seems) independent

 

For all my writing on and on I just would like advice about whether to try and book her again or just to write a message saying my piece.  My emails to her were polite if somewhat sterile sounding.  I did tell her who I am and that we've met before.  I'm not sure whether she can respond to me due to my profile change around. 

 

I might leave it till Saturday, or maybe Monday.

 

Thanks again.

 

[also it took me a long time to quote a few of the replies and craft my responses.  So if there's duplication of information, incomplete or inconsistent responses....sorry.  It's just a long editing process]

I would try to arrange a punt with her and talk to her about it their if it were me. I wouldnt do it by email or phone/text. Doing that would be inpersonal for me if i was wanting to ask a WG out. I have no problem with rejection so would of course be hoping she was interested but i wouldnt be crushed by her saying she wasnt and she doesnt think it a good idea to see her again.

 

With a good regular i nowadays wouldnt actually do this though as why possibly spoil a good arrangement, if the WG told me she was interested that might be different though, it would depend at the time. This latter scenario has happened to me, i wasnt able or ultimately willing to give it a go for various reasons.

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Actress or not, by the time you have seen her again, she will have been intimate with many, many guys.  If she is good at what she does then most of these guys will like her a lot.  Doubtless she will also like many of them providing they are reasonably eloquent, polite, clean and respectful.

 

Don't worry OP.  Leave it a few weeks, then go back to see her.  You'll swiftly recognise when you walk through the door that she feels no particular attachment to you.  Then you'll know straight away that opening your mouth to say all this guff is just pointless.

 

Before you think I'm just being unpleasant, I went through exactly the same not long after I started punting. I could have practically written your post.  I was wringing my hands for weeks after one punt convinced I'd made a connection, wondering how I could ever make a relationship with her work.  Totally bizarrely, she hadn't been wringing her hands over me whatsoever. :lol:  :lol:

 

I think this kind of thing is probably pretty common amongst new punters, and I am guessing that you are not a veteran at this game are you?  Or will you tell me I'm wrong? 

 

You will get over it.

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Actress or not, by the time you have seen her again, she will have been intimate with many, many guys.  If she is good at what she does then most of these guys will like her a lot.  Doubtless she will also like many of them providing they are reasonably eloquent, polite, clean and respectful.

 

Don't worry OP.  Leave it a few weeks, then go back to see her.  You'll swiftly recognise when you walk through the door that she feels no particular attachment to you.  Then you'll know straight away that opening your mouth to say all this guff is just pointless.

 

Before you think I'm just being unpleasant, I went through exactly the same not long after I started punting. I could have practically written your post.  I was wringing my hands for weeks after one punt convinced I'd made a connection, wondering how I could ever make a relationship with her work.  Totally bizarrely, she hadn't been wringing her hands over me whatsoever. :lol:  :lol:

 

I think this kind of thing is probably pretty common amongst new punters, and I am guessing that you are not a veteran at this game are you?  Or will you tell me I'm wrong? 

 

You will get over it.

 

It's cool, I understand what you're saying, it makes sense.  Maybe I'm acting like I have a unique situation, whereas it's a set of circumstances somewhat unique to me....but, that follow a general pattern.  I.e I met her at such-and-such a time and my background is xyz, things that are unique to me.

 

I'm quite new, but as I might have mentioned I've seen four women spaced approx two months apart.  She was the third.  The other three I generally wish well, but fell nothing particular for, so maybe it's just the mysteries of personal chemistry.  Yeah I would agree that it's likely she's seen many more men in both her job and 'civilian life', so I might've been forgotten.

 

It's cool, I can accept all that. 

 

Just writing this stuff has been cathartic.  I also have been out a bit over the last few days, hanging out with friends, family etc.  It's true there are many attractive, decent women out there so I'm sure I'll 'get over it'.  Having said that, although it's diminished over the two months (and even writing this stuff has affected it)...yeah, I still do feel attraction to that women.  Yeah I'd also love to sleep with her again! 

 

I'm not sure if she'll even respond to a message/booking request, but I think I'll write and try for one.  If it goes ahead I'll decide at the time whether it's worth it or not to say anything.

 

Thanks to everyone. 

 

I'm not particularly pessimistic, but this is likely to be it.  I'll of course update if anything significant happens, but if this thread isn't updated within a certain time it's good to assume things just died out.  I.e no response.

 

Thanks.

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Actress or not, by the time you have seen her again, she will have been intimate with many, many guys.  If she is good at what she does then most of these guys will like her a lot.  Doubtless she will also like many of them providing they are reasonably eloquent, polite, clean and respectful.

 

Don't worry OP.  Leave it a few weeks, then go back to see her.  You'll swiftly recognise when you walk through the door that she feels no particular attachment to you.  Then you'll know straight away that opening your mouth to say all this guff is just pointless.

 

Before you think I'm just being unpleasant, I went through exactly the same not long after I started punting. I could have practically written your post.  I was wringing my hands for weeks after one punt convinced I'd made a connection, wondering how I could ever make a relationship with her work.  Totally bizarrely, she hadn't been wringing her hands over me whatsoever. :lol:  :lol:

 

I think this kind of thing is probably pretty common amongst new punters, and I am guessing that you are not a veteran at this game are you?  Or will you tell me I'm wrong? 

 

You will get over it.

 

Good advise. 

 

What you are describing is simply the click factor.  You don't get it in all meets which is why the OP had three good experiences and one brilliant one, they clicked.  The girls talk about this a lot, for us it makes a good job brilliant if it does happen, but its easy to see how newbies can read more into it.

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  All this  " click  "   stuff is quite rare , I believe  . The main  "  click "  is money  , if you've got much and can she get you to part with it  . Watch how long it takes her to ask what line of work you are in and a comment on your clothes , are you married and all that .

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Just a little update.

 

I likely going to meet the girl in question in an hour or so, but...she has a boyfriend.

 

Sheesh!  All that pining for nothing.

 

I'm not sure I'll even bother saying my little piece now, it's probably not worth it.

 

if anything significant happens I'll update, but it really has been cathartic.

 

Thanks.

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Just a little update.

I likely going to meet the girl in question in an hour or so, but...she has a boyfriend.

Sheesh! All that pining for nothing.

I'm not sure I'll even bother saying my little piece now, it's probably not worth it.

if anything significant happens I'll update, but it really has been cathartic.

Thanks.

Ok, in which case she's the GFE of the century and you bought the act. Problem now is whether you can continue to enjoy her GFE actively knowing that it's a role and nothing more?

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Hate saying I told you so, but I did.....

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Hate saying I told you so, but I did.....

Not even an 'ickle hint of schadenfreude, Holly? ;)

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