PeterHoping44

Not Too Happy About My Support Workers Addressing My Sexuality!

33 posts in this topic

Hey.

 

I have autism as you may or may not know, and I live in supported accommodation with several other service users. My support workers basically help me every week to make sure I'm eating enough and looking after myself in general, but there's a few things that are starting to bug me.

 

One, I've always been a thin person and at 27 years of age, this hasn't changed. I don't know why I'm so thin, but others may just have a higher metabolism than others, so when they eat a lot of food, they never appear to have gained any new weight. They've got a habit of asking if I've had anything to eat and most days, I don't mind being asked that question, but then they start telling me to eat if I say I've not ate anything.

 

Quite often, I was sleeping at the wrong times, getting up later on in the day and being up all night on the computer or doing other activities meant for the daytime, so they were concerned I wasn't eating enough due to my sleeping patterns being all mucked up, which wasn't always the case. I just don't tend to eat anything when I just get up out of bed, but sometimes I was getting up just before the support shift was due to begin and then not eating right away, so I can see where they are coming from a little.

 

As I also explained before, I once blabbed that I'd had a call girl over in my flat. I believe there was a time I left myself short of money and being as open as I am, I didn't think to spin a lie about where the money went. I'd only been living there for a few months when I had her over. Since that time, I've usually went to the houses of the girls and then been too anxious, and it's made me impotent. This has been an ongoing issue where I openly discuss this with them, but they tend to flip out and act like I'm breaking the law, and all this 'you can't do this, you can't do that...' talk is starting to get boring for me now. It's also none of their beeswax if I'm screwing Barbara, Amy, Jessica, Marion, or whoever it is. My sex life should be private and I shouldn't have to worry about anybody finding out about what is essentially supposed to be my private life. They keep telling me I need a girlfriend and to find one, I need to be active socially.

 

I like one of my former support workers, who shares my common interests. She left to work at another service quite some time ago, but is still employed by the company. I speak fondly of her and I don't see anything wrong with that, but in the past, my mother said someone said I was getting too atached to her, but she wouldn't reveal who said it. Just because I revealed I enjoyed my company with this person, I suddenly am presumed to fancy her. So if I said that about a male member of staff, that's acceptable, but if it's the opposite sex, that's bad business. There are strict rules about dating service users or even other support employees or volunteers, so that's a taboo subject altogether. But when I mention that I miss working with her, they act like it's all ancient history and I need to move on. I've actually wanted to maintain a friendship with this person, as I trust her and like her, but that's really against their stupid "rules" of being a support worker. Complete tripe, really.

 

My autism makes it hard for me to mingle with others and I've always kept mostly to myself because of my condition, which can make me feel anxious a lot and I get hot flushes and adrenaline rushes which are scary.

 

I was seriously thinking about giving up the Internet in May because I want to save money and limit my Internet use, so I asked a senior if I could buy a laptop and use Wi-Fi in their office, which is flat 1 where I live. However, the guy got all huff and puff about how it's a service for the staff and even though it'd be my laptop, it'd be their Internet and I'm guessing all the sites you visit are logged on the server. So I mentioned using Wi-Fi in a Starbucks or something, and he immediately assumed it was for booking escorts and said they block adult websites. Plus, he said that you need to buy a coffee and that's £2. So if you did that all month, 31 X 2 is going to work out roughly the same anyway, so my plan rto save money wouldn't happen quite the way I wanted to. And it seemed he was dragging me down when I said I would spend £200 even getting a laptop, as right now I use a PC and you cannot take that out and about, because there's a tower and everything. But I thought my idea about using a laptop for 20 minutes per day was a good one, until he ran over it like a steamroller.

 

I like a lot of older music too, with names of bands that few people have heard of. Like when I try to talk about my taste in music to other people, but they don't seem very interested at all. It makes me seem outdated, but I honestly don't like a lot of current chart music for obvious reasons, nor do I think much of the newer games, movies or whatever. Sometimes, I wish I'd been a teenager in the 70s or 80s, when life was cooler and you had far better looking women than you do now (for the most part, anyway).

 

I tend to find a lot of the girls today a bit immature (no offense, I don't mean that about girls 100% nor am I summonizing everybody) and they're not necessarily unattractive, but in my view, they are just lacking that 'special something' that ladies should have. I won't just go out with the first girl who comes along, because that's not really a relationship. So meanwhile, I'd like to still use escorts, but not have Tom, Dick and Harry know about all my business, because anything I discuss about gets recorded and put into my folder. I've often asked to read my reports. Nobody really minds, excwept one guy who does a sleep over goes on about how they need 'notice' for that, when he's in the same bloody room. What is his deal? God! :D

 


No wonder my cock keeps malfunctining. I've got too many critics telling me where I can or can't stick it. :P

 

Argh.

 

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P.S. I made a few spelling mistakes in post #1 because I was rush typing.

 

I cannot go back and edit them, it seems. But oh well... ;)

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It sounds to me as if your support workers are trying to look out for your welfare, if they didn't they'd be accused of neglect and lose their jobs.

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How autistic are you really?  Is it aspergers rather than full blown autism, I was under the impression that people with autism didn't even know they have it.

 

You must be the highest functioning autist in the world.  You seem extremely "with it" to me.

 

I suppose you may come across very differently in "the real world".

 

If you don't like being judged by the people who are paid by the state to keep an eye on you could always forego all the trappings of the benefit society and go it alone, then you can tell them that it's none of their concern.

Edited by Buzzkill

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Buy a pay as you go dongle and dont tell them, they only know what you tell them. Strawberry is right they are only trying to look out for you in the best way they can but at the same time you are an adult. A dongle has a minimum top up of a tenner a month so once you have used your credit you cant go on till you buy some more, it lasts very well though so long as you dont download content as that eats your credit more. x

Edited by Chloe Kisses

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As someone with a close relative with Aspergers, that description soon to be phased out BTW in favour of High Functioning Autism, the OP's writing style rings true.

 

As for the care workers they have a poor understanding of HFA if they think it's just a question of developing a social life and getting a girlfriend. The whole point is that these guys can't do that. It's punting or nothing as far as sexual intimacy goes and a great shame.

 

The carers are also allowing their personal judgements and ignorance about prostitution get in the way of the needs of their client. Clearly it is sufficiently distasteful to them to feel that they should be discouraging such an exchange. Possibly not a smart career move either.

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I'm a reasonable guy. I know I need to get out more, so that's why I'm sacrificing the net so I'll have to do things the old-fashioned way, like before the net existed. But I could be over exaggerating matters, but it does feel like they're having a go at me sometimes. Like if I put myself down for what I see as some obvious, harsh reality questions, they try to see the good in everything no matter what, which actually I seem to misinterpret as mockery.

 

My mother doesn't mind me using her net to book escorts, although I think that's because she knows I'm gonna do it regardless. One of the reasons I moved out of my parents was because I really wanted a private life, but then I discovered my current home ain't very private either. I've wanted to bring escorts to my house, but I don't want to get caught. It could be a problem if I give up my personal Internet service and try to sneakily use their net for booking WGs.

 

They have keys to my flat too, but I don't think they can just walk in whenever they want. I think they can only gain permission to do that if you weren't heard from in days, but barging in to see who your visitors are because they suspect her of being a hooker, may be a bit extreme. It could be an invasion of privacy.

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Hey.

 

I have autism as you may or may not know, and I live in supported accommodation with several other service users. My support workers basically help me every week to make sure I'm eating enough and looking after myself in general, but there's a few things that are starting to bug me.

 

One, I've always been a thin person and at 27 years of age, this hasn't changed. I don't know why I'm so thin, but others may just have a higher metabolism than others, so when they eat a lot of food, they never appear to have gained any new weight. They've got a habit of asking if I've had anything to eat and most days, I don't mind being asked that question, but then they start telling me to eat if I say I've not ate anything.

 

Quite often, I was sleeping at the wrong times, getting up later on in the day and being up all night on the computer or doing other activities meant for the daytime, so they were concerned I wasn't eating enough due to my sleeping patterns being all mucked up, which wasn't always the case. I just don't tend to eat anything when I just get up out of bed, but sometimes I was getting up just before the support shift was due to begin and then not eating right away, so I can see where they are coming from a little.

 

As I also explained before, I once blabbed that I'd had a call girl over in my flat. I believe there was a time I left myself short of money and being as open as I am, I didn't think to spin a lie about where the money went. I'd only been living there for a few months when I had her over. Since that time, I've usually went to the houses of the girls and then been too anxious, and it's made me impotent. This has been an ongoing issue where I openly discuss this with them, but they tend to flip out and act like I'm breaking the law, and all this 'you can't do this, you can't do that...' talk is starting to get boring for me now. It's also none of their beeswax if I'm screwing Barbara, Amy, Jessica, Marion, or whoever it is. My sex life should be private and I shouldn't have to worry about anybody finding out about what is essentially supposed to be my private life. They keep telling me I need a girlfriend and to find one, I need to be active socially.

 

I like one of my former support workers, who shares my common interests. She left to work at another service quite some time ago, but is still employed by the company. I speak fondly of her and I don't see anything wrong with that, but in the past, my mother said someone said I was getting too atached to her, but she wouldn't reveal who said it. Just because I revealed I enjoyed my company with this person, I suddenly am presumed to fancy her. So if I said that about a male member of staff, that's acceptable, but if it's the opposite sex, that's bad business. There are strict rules about dating service users or even other support employees or volunteers, so that's a taboo subject altogether. But when I mention that I miss working with her, they act like it's all ancient history and I need to move on. I've actually wanted to maintain a friendship with this person, as I trust her and like her, but that's really against their stupid "rules" of being a support worker. Complete tripe, really.

 

My autism makes it hard for me to mingle with others and I've always kept mostly to myself because of my condition, which can make me feel anxious a lot and I get hot flushes and adrenaline rushes which are scary.

 

I was seriously thinking about giving up the Internet in May because I want to save money and limit my Internet use, so I asked a senior if I could buy a laptop and use Wi-Fi in their office, which is flat 1 where I live. However, the guy got all huff and puff about how it's a service for the staff and even though it'd be my laptop, it'd be their Internet and I'm guessing all the sites you visit are logged on the server. So I mentioned using Wi-Fi in a Starbucks or something, and he immediately assumed it was for booking escorts and said they block adult websites. Plus, he said that you need to buy a coffee and that's £2. So if you did that all month, 31 X 2 is going to work out roughly the same anyway, so my plan rto save money wouldn't happen quite the way I wanted to. And it seemed he was dragging me down when I said I would spend £200 even getting a laptop, as right now I use a PC and you cannot take that out and about, because there's a tower and everything. But I thought my idea about using a laptop for 20 minutes per day was a good one, until he ran over it like a steamroller.

 

I like a lot of older music too, with names of bands that few people have heard of. Like when I try to talk about my taste in music to other people, but they don't seem very interested at all. It makes me seem outdated, but I honestly don't like a lot of current chart music for obvious reasons, nor do I think much of the newer games, movies or whatever. Sometimes, I wish I'd been a teenager in the 70s or 80s, when life was cooler and you had far better looking women than you do now (for the most part, anyway).

 

I tend to find a lot of the girls today a bit immature (no offense, I don't mean that about girls 100% nor am I summonizing everybody) and they're not necessarily unattractive, but in my view, they are just lacking that 'special something' that ladies should have. I won't just go out with the first girl who comes along, because that's not really a relationship. So meanwhile, I'd like to still use escorts, but not have Tom, Dick and Harry know about all my business, because anything I discuss about gets recorded and put into my folder. I've often asked to read my reports. Nobody really minds, excwept one guy who does a sleep over goes on about how they need 'notice' for that, when he's in the same bloody room. What is his deal? God! :D

 

No wonder my cock keeps malfunctining. I've got too many critics telling me where I can or can't stick it. :P

 

Argh.

My advice is arrange to see the home manager and if they arent any good the area manager and explain the situation from your point of view. Paying for sex isnt illegal and as an adult it is your business. I assume the problem they might see is you having WGs back to your place which i assume is owned by this organisation that supports you. Some may have a moral objection to this rather than anything else, especially if religion plays a part in the organisation.

 

If their intentions are good, i.e. they believe they are doing their best to support you and you agree with that, thats one thing, but if you believe they are restricting you as an adult then thats quite another and whichever it is its your right to discuss it with them. I hope it gets sorted to your satisfaction.

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I'm a reasonable guy. I know I need to get out more, so that's why I'm sacrificing the net so I'll have to do things the old-fashioned way, like before the net existed. But I could be over exaggerating matters, but it does feel like they're having a go at me sometimes. Like if I put myself down for what I see as some obvious, harsh reality questions, they try to see the good in everything no matter what, which actually I seem to misinterpret as mockery.

 

My mother doesn't mind me using her net to book escorts, although I think that's because she knows I'm gonna do it regardless. One of the reasons I moved out of my parents was because I really wanted a private life, but then I discovered my current home ain't very private either. I've wanted to bring escorts to my house, but I don't want to get caught. It could be a problem if I give up my personal Internet service and try to sneakily use their net for booking WGs.

 

They have keys to my flat too, but I don't think they can just walk in whenever they want. I think they can only gain permission to do that if you weren't heard from in days, but barging in to see who your visitors are because they suspect her of being a hooker, may be a bit extreme. It could be an invasion of privacy.

I certainly wouldnt advise using their internet, apart from anything else i imagine it would break their guidelines as to what can be viewed using it.

 

They certainly cannot just walk into your flat whenever they want. As you say if they havent heard from you for a pre-determined time they will gain access, as they should as they have a duty of care. It would definitely be a gross invasion of privacy to barge in just because you have a WG in the flat. However, some people have media influenced or religious moral views about prostitution so may equate WG with a streetwalking junkies. Sad and narrowminded but some people are, so in their minds they may genuinely  think they are helping you.

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 may genuinely  think they are helping you.

mmm yes, help thats similar to giving anti-depressants which contain bromide to someone who's only joy in life at that time and the only thing that lifts his moods is sex and close human contact which he can only gain through seeing escorts. Thus the bromide kicks in and he cant have sex thus becomes even more depressed! A client of mine from several years ago...bordering on the "you couldnt make it up"

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I'm always really poor, otherwise I'd just stick to in calls. Out calls may be better, but they do cost a lot of money.

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What about buying a cheap smartphone and getting a cheap mobile contract with internet?

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Just wondering - what do you do for a living?

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Just wondering - what do you do for a living?

From his posts it would appear he probably doesn't work, and relies on benefits for income.

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People with HFA can work, and many do so. If he lives on benefits, I'm afraid 'he who pays has the last word' applies.

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Hey.

 

I have autism as you may or may not know, and I live in supported accommodation with several other service users. My support workers basically help me every week to make sure I'm eating enough and looking after myself in general, but there's a few things that are starting to bug me.

 

One, I've always been a thin person and at 27 years of age, this hasn't changed. I don't know why I'm so thin, but others may just have a higher metabolism than others, so when they eat a lot of food, they never appear to have gained any new weight. They've got a habit of asking if I've had anything to eat and most days, I don't mind being asked that question, but then they start telling me to eat if I say I've not ate anything.

 

Quite often, I was sleeping at the wrong times, getting up later on in the day and being up all night on the computer or doing other activities meant for the daytime, so they were concerned I wasn't eating enough due to my sleeping patterns being all mucked up, which wasn't always the case. I just don't tend to eat anything when I just get up out of bed, but sometimes I was getting up just before the support shift was due to begin and then not eating right away, so I can see where they are coming from a little.

 

As I also explained before, I once blabbed that I'd had a call girl over in my flat. I believe there was a time I left myself short of money and being as open as I am, I didn't think to spin a lie about where the money went. I'd only been living there for a few months when I had her over. Since that time, I've usually went to the houses of the girls and then been too anxious, and it's made me impotent. This has been an ongoing issue where I openly discuss this with them, but they tend to flip out and act like I'm breaking the law, and all this 'you can't do this, you can't do that...' talk is starting to get boring for me now. It's also none of their beeswax if I'm screwing Barbara, Amy, Jessica, Marion, or whoever it is. My sex life should be private and I shouldn't have to worry about anybody finding out about what is essentially supposed to be my private life. They keep telling me I need a girlfriend and to find one, I need to be active socially.

 

I like one of my former support workers, who shares my common interests. She left to work at another service quite some time ago, but is still employed by the company. I speak fondly of her and I don't see anything wrong with that, but in the past, my mother said someone said I was getting too atached to her, but she wouldn't reveal who said it. Just because I revealed I enjoyed my company with this person, I suddenly am presumed to fancy her. So if I said that about a male member of staff, that's acceptable, but if it's the opposite sex, that's bad business. There are strict rules about dating service users or even other support employees or volunteers, so that's a taboo subject altogether. But when I mention that I miss working with her, they act like it's all ancient history and I need to move on. I've actually wanted to maintain a friendship with this person, as I trust her and like her, but that's really against their stupid "rules" of being a support worker. Complete tripe, really.

 

My autism makes it hard for me to mingle with others and I've always kept mostly to myself because of my condition, which can make me feel anxious a lot and I get hot flushes and adrenaline rushes which are scary.

 

I was seriously thinking about giving up the Internet in May because I want to save money and limit my Internet use, so I asked a senior if I could buy a laptop and use Wi-Fi in their office, which is flat 1 where I live. However, the guy got all huff and puff about how it's a service for the staff and even though it'd be my laptop, it'd be their Internet and I'm guessing all the sites you visit are logged on the server. So I mentioned using Wi-Fi in a Starbucks or something, and he immediately assumed it was for booking escorts and said they block adult websites. Plus, he said that you need to buy a coffee and that's £2. So if you did that all month, 31 X 2 is going to work out roughly the same anyway, so my plan rto save money wouldn't happen quite the way I wanted to. And it seemed he was dragging me down when I said I would spend £200 even getting a laptop, as right now I use a PC and you cannot take that out and about, because there's a tower and everything. But I thought my idea about using a laptop for 20 minutes per day was a good one, until he ran over it like a steamroller.

 

I like a lot of older music too, with names of bands that few people have heard of. Like when I try to talk about my taste in music to other people, but they don't seem very interested at all. It makes me seem outdated, but I honestly don't like a lot of current chart music for obvious reasons, nor do I think much of the newer games, movies or whatever. Sometimes, I wish I'd been a teenager in the 70s or 80s, when life was cooler and you had far better looking women than you do now (for the most part, anyway).

 

I tend to find a lot of the girls today a bit immature (no offense, I don't mean that about girls 100% nor am I summonizing everybody) and they're not necessarily unattractive, but in my view, they are just lacking that 'special something' that ladies should have. I won't just go out with the first girl who comes along, because that's not really a relationship. So meanwhile, I'd like to still use escorts, but not have Tom, Dick and Harry know about all my business, because anything I discuss about gets recorded and put into my folder. I've often asked to read my reports. Nobody really minds, excwept one guy who does a sleep over goes on about how they need 'notice' for that, when he's in the same bloody room. What is his deal? God! :D

 

No wonder my cock keeps malfunctining. I've got too many critics telling me where I can or can't stick it. :P

 

Argh.

 

 

Hey.

 

I have autism as you may or may not know, and I live in supported accommodation with several other service users. My support workers basically help me every week to make sure I'm eating enough and looking after myself in general, but there's a few things that are starting to bug me.

 

One, I've always been a thin person and at 27 years of age, this hasn't changed. I don't know why I'm so thin, but others may just have a higher metabolism than others, so when they eat a lot of food, they never appear to have gained any new weight. They've got a habit of asking if I've had anything to eat and most days, I don't mind being asked that question, but then they start telling me to eat if I say I've not ate anything.

 

Quite often, I was sleeping at the wrong times, getting up later on in the day and being up all night on the computer or doing other activities meant for the daytime, so they were concerned I wasn't eating enough due to my sleeping patterns being all mucked up, which wasn't always the case. I just don't tend to eat anything when I just get up out of bed, but sometimes I was getting up just before the support shift was due to begin and then not eating right away, so I can see where they are coming from a little.

 

As I also explained before, I once blabbed that I'd had a call girl over in my flat. I believe there was a time I left myself short of money and being as open as I am, I didn't think to spin a lie about where the money went. I'd only been living there for a few months when I had her over. Since that time, I've usually went to the houses of the girls and then been too anxious, and it's made me impotent. This has been an ongoing issue where I openly discuss this with them, but they tend to flip out and act like I'm breaking the law, and all this 'you can't do this, you can't do that...' talk is starting to get boring for me now. It's also none of their beeswax if I'm screwing Barbara, Amy, Jessica, Marion, or whoever it is. My sex life should be private and I shouldn't have to worry about anybody finding out about what is essentially supposed to be my private life. They keep telling me I need a girlfriend and to find one, I need to be active socially.

 

I like one of my former support workers, who shares my common interests. She left to work at another service quite some time ago, but is still employed by the company. I speak fondly of her and I don't see anything wrong with that, but in the past, my mother said someone said I was getting too atached to her, but she wouldn't reveal who said it. Just because I revealed I enjoyed my company with this person, I suddenly am presumed to fancy her. So if I said that about a male member of staff, that's acceptable, but if it's the opposite sex, that's bad business. There are strict rules about dating service users or even other support employees or volunteers, so that's a taboo subject altogether. But when I mention that I miss working with her, they act like it's all ancient history and I need to move on. I've actually wanted to maintain a friendship with this person, as I trust her and like her, but that's really against their stupid "rules" of being a support worker. Complete tripe, really.

 

My autism makes it hard for me to mingle with others and I've always kept mostly to myself because of my condition, which can make me feel anxious a lot and I get hot flushes and adrenaline rushes which are scary.

 

I was seriously thinking about giving up the Internet in May because I want to save money and limit my Internet use, so I asked a senior if I could buy a laptop and use Wi-Fi in their office, which is flat 1 where I live. However, the guy got all huff and puff about how it's a service for the staff and even though it'd be my laptop, it'd be their Internet and I'm guessing all the sites you visit are logged on the server. So I mentioned using Wi-Fi in a Starbucks or something, and he immediately assumed it was for booking escorts and said they block adult websites. Plus, he said that you need to buy a coffee and that's £2. So if you did that all month, 31 X 2 is going to work out roughly the same anyway, so my plan rto save money wouldn't happen quite the way I wanted to. And it seemed he was dragging me down when I said I would spend £200 even getting a laptop, as right now I use a PC and you cannot take that out and about, because there's a tower and everything. But I thought my idea about using a laptop for 20 minutes per day was a good one, until he ran over it like a steamroller.

 

I like a lot of older music too, with names of bands that few people have heard of. Like when I try to talk about my taste in music to other people, but they don't seem very interested at all. It makes me seem outdated, but I honestly don't like a lot of current chart music for obvious reasons, nor do I think much of the newer games, movies or whatever. Sometimes, I wish I'd been a teenager in the 70s or 80s, when life was cooler and you had far better looking women than you do now (for the most part, anyway).

 

I tend to find a lot of the girls today a bit immature (no offense, I don't mean that about girls 100% nor am I summonizing everybody) and they're not necessarily unattractive, but in my view, they are just lacking that 'special something' that ladies should have. I won't just go out with the first girl who comes along, because that's not really a relationship. So meanwhile, I'd like to still use escorts, but not have Tom, Dick and Harry know about all my business, because anything I discuss about gets recorded and put into my folder. I've often asked to read my reports. Nobody really minds, excwept one guy who does a sleep over goes on about how they need 'notice' for that, when he's in the same bloody room. What is his deal? God! :D

 

No wonder my cock keeps malfunctining. I've got too many critics telling me where I can or can't stick it. :P

 

Argh.

Bless you.  A very close relative of mine has Asperger syndrome and was diagnosed quite late (not diagnosed in childhood but in early adulthood).  I have lived watching this individual living on the edge of life for years.  He does not think the way the rest of us do, and if we have a conversation his reactions to certain things are not quite what you would expect!

 

His eating habits are weird, and his thought patterns appear weird also, along with other things - but obviously none of this is weird to him :)  To him, how he faces the world and how he deals with things is perfectly normal.

 

You say you are thin and your support workers say you are too thin, then you go on to say you stay awake all night sometimes, so you kind of know a little of why you are thin but also your support workers probably do not always tell you what they are really thinking, and so say other things to make you think a little?

 

Anything you say will be read into by support workers because it is their job to evaluate your behaviour.  You are their 'baby' and they scrutinise you whether or not you feel it is necessary I am afraid.

 

Are you coming on here for validation?  Most people do not understand Autism.  I love the way you are open about your feelings  and find that refreshing and nice, but at the same time realise you are quite vulnerable which I think you might agree with?

 

I think you will be lucky to find a support worker who tolerates prostitution and any support worker you speak to regarding call girls will be thinking it is one of the things you are obsessional about due to your condition.

 

For what it is worth - yes the coffee is expensive, but Costa Coffee do have WIFI and you can access certain sites in there!

 

Good luck!

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How autistic are you really?  Is it aspergers rather than full blown autism, I was under the impression that people with autism didn't even know they have it.

 

You must be the highest functioning autist in the world.  You seem extremely "with it" to me.

 

I suppose you may come across very differently in "the real world".

 

If you don't like being judged by the people who are paid by the state to keep an eye on you could always forego all the trappings of the benefit society and go it alone, then you can tell them that it's none of their concern.

 

You clearly don't know much about the subject. For what it's worth, his post has pretty obvious autistic traits to anyone with a superficial knowledge of the subject. Beyond that, what do you think "full blow autism" is? While it is certainly a spectrum, I have yet to hear anyone define the tipping point at which autism transitions to "real". Do you think Asperger's is "autism lite"? If you do, you're an idiot. It's a different condition, elswhere within the aforementioned spectrum. Do people with autism know they have it? Well, my son does. Because he's been diagnosed, and he's reached an age where we told him. There. Simple. If he's autistic to the point where he needs help from care workers (a degree of intervention that is expensive, and that generally the state provides with considerable reluctance for that reason) then he almost certainly needs the help. Meanwhile, could you please stop writing ill-informed drivel.

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People with HFA can work, and many do so. If he lives on benefits, I'm afraid 'he who pays has the last word' applies.

 

They most certainly do, and for extremely good wages. Show me a software millionaire or an Oxbridge don, and I'll show you an HFA.

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Hey.

I have autism as you may or may not know, and I live in supported accommodation with several other service users. My support workers basically help me every week to make sure I'm eating enough and looking after myself in general, but there's a few things that are starting to bug me.

One, I've always been a thin person and at 27 years of age, this hasn't changed. I don't know why I'm so thin, but others may just have a higher metabolism than others, so when they eat a lot of food, they never appear to have gained any new weight. They've got a habit of asking if I've had anything to eat and most days, I don't mind being asked that question, but then they start telling me to eat if I say I've not ate anything.

Quite often, I was sleeping at the wrong times, getting up later on in the day and being up all night on the computer or doing other activities meant for the daytime, so they were concerned I wasn't eating enough due to my sleeping patterns being all mucked up, which wasn't always the case. I just don't tend to eat anything when I just get up out of bed, but sometimes I was getting up just before the support shift was due to begin and then not eating right away, so I can see where they are coming from a little.

As I also explained before, I once blabbed that I'd had a call girl over in my flat. I believe there was a time I left myself short of money and being as open as I am, I didn't think to spin a lie about where the money went. I'd only been living there for a few months when I had her over. Since that time, I've usually went to the houses of the girls and then been too anxious, and it's made me impotent. This has been an ongoing issue where I openly discuss this with them, but they tend to flip out and act like I'm breaking the law, and all this 'you can't do this, you can't do that...' talk is starting to get boring for me now. It's also none of their beeswax if I'm screwing Barbara, Amy, Jessica, Marion, or whoever it is. My sex life should be private and I shouldn't have to worry about anybody finding out about what is essentially supposed to be my private life. They keep telling me I need a girlfriend and to find one, I need to be active socially.

I like one of my former support workers, who shares my common interests. She left to work at another service quite some time ago, but is still employed by the company. I speak fondly of her and I don't see anything wrong with that, but in the past, my mother said someone said I was getting too atached to her, but she wouldn't reveal who said it. Just because I revealed I enjoyed my company with this person, I suddenly am presumed to fancy her. So if I said that about a male member of staff, that's acceptable, but if it's the opposite sex, that's bad business. There are strict rules about dating service users or even other support employees or volunteers, so that's a taboo subject altogether. But when I mention that I miss working with her, they act like it's all ancient history and I need to move on. I've actually wanted to maintain a friendship with this person, as I trust her and like her, but that's really against their stupid "rules" of being a support worker. Complete tripe, really.

My autism makes it hard for me to mingle with others and I've always kept mostly to myself because of my condition, which can make me feel anxious a lot and I get hot flushes and adrenaline rushes which are scary.

I was seriously thinking about giving up the Internet in May because I want to save money and limit my Internet use, so I asked a senior if I could buy a laptop and use Wi-Fi in their office, which is flat 1 where I live. However, the guy got all huff and puff about how it's a service for the staff and even though it'd be my laptop, it'd be their Internet and I'm guessing all the sites you visit are logged on the server. So I mentioned using Wi-Fi in a Starbucks or something, and he immediately assumed it was for booking escorts and said they block adult websites. Plus, he said that you need to buy a coffee and that's £2. So if you did that all month, 31 X 2 is going to work out roughly the same anyway, so my plan rto save money wouldn't happen quite the way I wanted to. And it seemed he was dragging me down when I said I would spend £200 even getting a laptop, as right now I use a PC and you cannot take that out and about, because there's a tower and everything. But I thought my idea about using a laptop for 20 minutes per day was a good one, until he ran over it like a steamroller.

I like a lot of older music too, with names of bands that few people have heard of. Like when I try to talk about my taste in music to other people, but they don't seem very interested at all. It makes me seem outdated, but I honestly don't like a lot of current chart music for obvious reasons, nor do I think much of the newer games, movies or whatever. Sometimes, I wish I'd been a teenager in the 70s or 80s, when life was cooler and you had far better looking women than you do now (for the most part, anyway).

I tend to find a lot of the girls today a bit immature (no offense, I don't mean that about girls 100% nor am I summonizing everybody) and they're not necessarily unattractive, but in my view, they are just lacking that 'special something' that ladies should have. I won't just go out with the first girl who comes along, because that's not really a relationship. So meanwhile, I'd like to still use escorts, but not have Tom, Dick and Harry know about all my business, because anything I discuss about gets recorded and put into my folder. I've often asked to read my reports. Nobody really minds, excwept one guy who does a sleep over goes on about how they need 'notice' for that, when he's in the same bloody room. What is his deal? God! :D

No wonder my cock keeps malfunctining. I've got too many critics telling me where I can or can't stick it. :P

Argh.

Hi Peter, as Sarah said in an earlier post, others are seeing the world through different eyes to you, so those who don't understand Autism may think your behaviour/actions are 'odd'. This does make you vulnerable and your support workers are there to help you. However, I do realise it must get frustrating for you if you feel that you aren't being listened to. Have you thought about seeing an Advocate?, this is someone who will listen to you and help you get your thoughts and view across clearly in an unbiased way

There are several listed here:

http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/adults-with-autism-or-asperger-syndrome/advocacy-and-autism.aspx

In Scotland there is : www.siaa.org.uk

Edited by MysteriousLady

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You clearly don't know much about the subject. For what it's worth, his post has pretty obvious autistic traits to anyone with a superficial knowledge of the subject. Beyond that, what do you think "full blow autism" is? While it is certainly a spectrum, I have yet to hear anyone define the tipping point at which autism transitions to "real". Do you think Asperger's is "autism lite"? If you do, you're an idiot. It's a different condition, elswhere within the aforementioned spectrum. Do people with autism know they have it? Well, my son does. Because he's been diagnosed, and he's reached an age where we told him. There. Simple. If he's autistic to the point where he needs help from care workers (a degree of intervention that is expensive, and that generally the state provides with considerable reluctance for that reason) then he almost certainly needs the help. Meanwhile, could you please stop writing ill-informed drivel.

Very well put Lohengrin.

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  Quote  "For what it is worth - yes the coffee is expensive, but Costa Coffee do have WIFI and you can access certain sites in there!"

 

Our wonderful  :rolleyes: government are considering banning adult site access on public wifi systems.

 

So it could be no more sitting slurping your overpriced latte while surfing the naughty girlies?   :unsure: 

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  Quote  "For what it is worth - yes the coffee is expensive, but Costa Coffee do have WIFI and you can access certain sites in there!"

 

Our wonderful  :rolleyes: government are considering banning adult site access on public wifi systems.

 

So it could be no more sitting slurping your overpriced latte while surfing the naughty girlies?   :unsure: 

 

But proxies, VPN and Tor will still work right?

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But proxies, VPN and Tor will still work right?

I have absolutely no idea..... I am not au fait with proxies... and incognito whatsit thingies.

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I was talking to one of my support workers today and we were going over how I need to meet people rather than looking for just sex, as it clearly isn't working. But we all get urges just the same to want sex. My support worker thought I needed emotional attachment and my ex (who was my only 'real' partner) was just stringing me along for her own gain, but the feelings I had for her were never returned.

 

My male neighbor upstairs is in the same position as myself, so we've agreed to make an effort to go to groups and try to meet people, because let's face it - Internet shouldn't be your whole life. Our problem is we hate being single, but then you can't appear too desperate either, for women don't like desperate men. It's better to actually not look for it so badly, for I don't think it's healthy to obsess over not having a partner. Although you can see where we're coming from. Sometimes, it can feel like every other guy but you is lucky with love.


The first half of my day today sucked, though. I'm having to take legal action against my ex.

 

It's been a complete flipping disaster. The court has a small claims section and then they directed me upstairs, so I spent ages talking to a woman in the room, explaining what it was about, etc. But it was a case of 'speak when asked' and it was actually hard to just stick to the basics and then she was interrupting me a bit, or maybe I was interrupting her. But either way, it was an annoying procedure to have to play pass the buck and explain the same crap to other people. Then I was told that although I paid it all the money to the item in question (the PS3), the deadline was June 7, so I'm supposed to not take court action until she (the ex) gets a chance to make payments, ALTHOUGH SHE AIN'T GONNA DO THAT!!!

 

Legal procedures suck.

 

So I'm told I've to write an official letter and send it recorded, but she has a learning disorder and she never listened to anything I said in my emails I sent her, in which I was instructing her that I needed half the money back or the PS3. Complete waste of time.

 

Long story short: I spent 7 years looking for my ex. She was notorious for lying then (in 2005). I found her again and she then used me again for gifts / money and acted horrible. We'd make up after fighting. She'd dumped me but tried to hang in with me as a friend to repeat the cycle. Then she'd be allowed to see her other guy friend, since we weren't together. Blah blah. Says she was never even with me, yet she'd call me a 'honey' when I had money. It seemed I was only needed when I was spending money on her.

 

You can read the full story here.

 

http://www.relationshiptalk.net/hey.-im-a-scottish-27-year-old-man-who-has-autism-but-is-high-functioning...-34860824.html

 

It's been...annoying, to say the least. Thankfully, I've registered on Meetup and there's tons of interest groups. Tons!

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