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Alwayshoping

Failure - A Pointless Rant

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In the last week, in idle moments and purely out of curiosity, I've started reading what some women say on threads on the Mumsnet Relationships board. A dreadful and ridiculous habit which must STOP from tomorrow onwards!! But even in these few days I've noticed that quite a few women are craving for sex with their husbands but not getting it, or nearly enough of it. They clearly have a need and very much want to be fucked! 

Then I moan to myself, "Why the hell was I so unlucky, especially the second time, to be married to a woman to whom sex meant nothing, to whom it was the least important thing in her life?" People will say I was a fool for not getting out years ago. But then I loved her and knew she'd have been devastated if I'd walked out. Also, with a house tied to my job, she and the children would have been made temporarily homeless if I'd gone off somewhere. I couldn't possibly do that to them.

 

I read further. Someone suggests to a woman it might be erectile dysfunction, but she says, "Def. not, if I play with him it goes hard.." Hey, wait a minute... my wife has never 'played' with my cock in her life! She clearly hates intimate touching of any kind. I feel so green with envy. Oh, these women out there who love sex! And will willingly touch men's cocks! If only.... If only I could even talk to a woman who's been in a similar situation as myself for years.

Tbh I feel my whole life's been such a bloody failure because women have never been craving to have sex with me. Women have mostly never needed me or wanted me to satisfy their urges.

It's all far too late now to do anything about anything. The sex and love and affection thing has turned out to be so hugely important and significant to me for my general wellbeing and happiness that I think I'd have been far better never to have been born than it turn out like this.

 

So I end up having brief sex with a stranger who'll only let me touch her if I pay her a certain sum of money...

Don't even bother commenting on this pointless rant (that is, if the moderators allow it to be seen). There are no answers or solutions. Just wanted to express my heartfelt feelings in words... just one last time.

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You should take comfort in the fact that your situation is like most married men in the country. Seriously most married guys are in your boat too.

 

Marriage is a trap. You should make sure you don't get caught too, because if you do, you're going to pay, big time.

 

Marriage = Ring goes on, money rolls in, legs start closing.

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You should take comfort in the fact that your situation is like most married men in the country. Seriously most married guys are in your boat too.

 

Marriage is a trap. You should make sure you don't get caught too, because if you do, you're going to pay, big time.

 

Marriage = Ring goes on, money rolls in, legs start closing.

I'll remember these instructions when I get married.

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Alternatively, you may have had a wife who wants to have more sex, but refuses to do anything (including touching your cock) to try and turn you on.  You are expected to perform and satisfy her desires without any reciprocation. 

 

Many are the pathways to disappointment.  Take comfort in the arms of strangers.  It could all be worse.

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Take comfort in the arms of strangers.  It could all be worse.

 

I pretty much agree with that. Life ain't perfect, but you have to man up and find a way of getting on with it. There's always an excuse for doing nothing, and the grass is always greener on the other side but the bottom line is to do what you feel you have to, to get the most of out of doing it, and to see the glass as half full rather than half empty.

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I think someone should also add that what people say they do and what happens,especially on the net,and what they actually do and what happens are two completely different things.People may go on there for advice,but a lot also dont want to be seen as the problem.Say if a lady went on there and said that i the marriage is in difficulties sexually and added that she spent the entire day and night in a trackie covered in crumbs,turned away every time the OH tries to kiss her and tells him off at every touch what do you think the response would be.If you say you make every effort then the sympathy generally goes with you.I know i've gone a bit overboard there,but hopefully the general point is made.
Conversely,the same with fellas.Not every wife can be a complete sex withholding harpie.It's just some poeple arent after the truth/solutions.they just want to be told that they are ok,perfectly normal,its nothing to do with them etc,plattitudes not actual help.
With mumsnet it also has the added advantage that a lot seem to believe that all mean are rape facillitating women hating bastards
In shor,the internet was invented for many things.truth telling not being one of them :)

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I'll remember these instructions when I get married.

 

 

you don't have to, it's in your DNA.

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I think you got some good replies here.. easy to find the grass looks greener reading around on the internet and think to yourself if only this or that.  Why do relationships have to be so hard?

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I think you got some good replies here.. easy to find the grass looks greener reading around on the internet and think to yourself if only this or that.  Why do relationships have to be so hard?

Not really a case of the grass being greener. I honestly believe that, to take one example, almost all wives or partners are far more willing to 'play' with their husband's cock than mine is. I have to practically beg to get touched at all before our (or more accurately, my) 5 minutes' sex once every few weeks. I don't think it's at all normal to be so disgusted by this kind of thing or to be so prim and proper as to view this as distasteful. Older men need much more physical stimulation, not the exact opposite.

I'm convinced the vast majority of married men's wives (90% at least?) touch their partners willingly down there and that I'm in a very unusual situation. It appears that plenty of women on Mumsnet do so anyway. It drives me nuts just thinking about how much I've missed out on over the years. Yes, I do envy other men because of this kind of thing.

Thank God there are women out there who think nothing of doing it. Just a shame it has to be for a fee. But so be it.

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You should take comfort in the fact that your situation is like most married men in the country. Seriously most married guys are in your boat too.

 

Marriage is a trap. You should make sure you don't get caught too, because if you do, you're going to pay, big time.

 

Marriage = Ring goes on, money rolls in, legs start closing.

 

I question your use of the word 'most' married men.  Not so!   But I do feel sorry for those in your position. It certainly has made you very bitter and cynical.

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I question your use of the word 'most' married men.  Not so!   But I do feel sorry for those in your position. It certainly has made you very bitter and cynical.

 

 

I'm just repeating experiences from married men who are older than me.

 

 

I'm not married and never have been,  I don't plan on getting married my dear because I'm not a moron.

Edited by willsmith

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I'm just repeating experiences from married men who are older than me.

 

 

I'm not married and never have been,  I don't plan on getting married my dear because I'm not a moron.

 

Generalising about the institution of marriage is a bit silly. You get out of it what you put into it. Many people marry the wrong person and dont invest any effort into helping their partner grow and be fulfilled and be confident.

 

My own view is that many people just end up marrying the wrong person for them personally and the chances of recovery are slim, 

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With mumsnet it also has the added advantage that a lot seem to believe that all mean are rape facillitating women hating bastards

 

 

Except in the threads where a woman has outed her hubbie as a punter.  Then, it's "most men aren't like that, kick him out and get yourself one of the good ones".  The truth is somewhere in the middle: an awful lot of men love women, but the women can't keep up with his testosterone level.

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Not really a case of the grass being greener. I honestly believe that, to take one example, almost all wives or partners are far more willing to 'play' with their husband's cock than mine is. I have to practically beg to get touched at all before our (or more accurately, my) 5 minutes' sex once every few weeks. I don't think it's at all normal to be so disgusted by this kind of thing or to be so prim and proper as to view this as distasteful. Older men need much more physical stimulation, not the exact opposite.

I'm convinced the vast majority of married men's wives (90% at least?) touch their partners willingly down there and that I'm in a very unusual situation. It appears that plenty of women on Mumsnet do so anyway. It drives me nuts just thinking about how much I've missed out on over the years. Yes, I do envy other men because of this kind of thing.

Thank God there are women out there who think nothing of doing it. Just a shame it has to be for a fee. But so be it.

 

If I got it once every few weeks I probably wouldn't be on here.

 

Funny thing is, when I met my wife she was living with a long term partner and I was the bit on the side as he had lost interest. That went on for 4 years and we were at it all the time and anywhere. She finally left him and moved in with me and we were married a few months later.

 

One reason I think our frequency went down was her daughter was now always sleeping in the room next door every night. The other was I think she missed the thrill of doing something she shouldn't and possibly getting caught. So after so many nights of trying it on and getting knocked back (which had never happened with her before), I stopped trying so often, but we still had a fairly active sex life. Just not as often as we did before.

 

Fast-forward 15 years and after a few different health problems, her libido is nearly gone. I can count the amount of times we've done it in the last 3 years on my fingers and still have enough left over to give myself a hand-job while using a finger or two on the other hand to give myself a prostate massage. 

 

Am I bitter? No. She's my best friend and I love her more than ever. We still laugh together, cuddle, kiss, hold hands, support each other, hug each other and tell each other we love them on a daily basis. There is nobody in the world I would rather have sex with, but if she's not into it, I'm going to go somewhere else. Paying for it seems a much better option than trying to find someone up for a no-strings affair as I know how they can end up. 

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I am sorry but i find Mumsnet as a vile site with very ungrateful, spiteful, man hating women. 

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yes but all relationships bring up weird shit, their husbands have prob got too friendly with them so do';t find them sexy anymore more like a sister. All relationships are weird it's just about managing your own situation as best you can you have a nice life, with no sex, so go see girls. Or hook up with these mother's on mumsnet for a bit of afternoon delight, the grass is never greener remember that x

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Not really a case of the grass being greener. I honestly believe that, to take one example, almost all wives or partners are far more willing to 'play' with their husband's cock than mine is. I have to practically beg to get touched at all before our (or more accurately, my) 5 minutes' sex once every few weeks. I don't think it's at all normal to be so disgusted by this kind of thing or to be so prim and proper as to view this as distasteful. Older men need much more physical stimulation, not the exact opposite.

I'm convinced the vast majority of married men's wives (90% at least?) touch their partners willingly down there and that I'm in a very unusual situation. It appears that plenty of women on Mumsnet do so anyway. It drives me nuts just thinking about how much I've missed out on over the years. Yes, I do envy other men because of this kind of thing.

Thank God there are women out there who think nothing of doing it. Just a shame it has to be for a fee. But so be it.

 

You actually get 5 minutes sex once every few weeks? Lucky bastard. My wife has been absolutely, totally, terminally off sex since our son was born and he's 28.....

 

I have considered advertising for a cheap overnight with 1/2 hour sex, a cuddle and just to spend a night in a double bed with a woman who doesn't mind close contact.

 

Daffon

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Mumsnet is not reprsentative of the population as a whole. You cannot extrapolate from what you've read on there than most women will touch their men down there. What is has unearthed though is what you desire.

 

Don't make it about sex. Make it about sensuality. Ask yourself how many ways you can make your wife feel like a sexy creature without involving her erogenous zones. Get creative. Take the lead. And she will begin to reciprocate. The more you give, the more you will get in return. Theres no denying it could be a long process.

 

Maybe I misinterpret. But I get the impression you feel because shes your wife, she should be comfortable with touching you as you wish. You are married, but you are both your own persons too. Bust out some candles, some music, some wine. Unlock her desires. And you will be rewarded

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You actually get 5 minutes sex once every few weeks? Lucky bastard. My wife has been absolutely, totally, terminally off sex since our son was born and he's 28.....

 

I have considered advertising for a cheap overnight with 1/2 hour sex, a cuddle and just to spend a night in a double bed with a woman who doesn't mind close contact.

 

Daffon

Crikey... that's terrible! Mind you, what I get is someone who just lies there, tolerating it, completely silent, and does absolutely zero, probably thinking about the washing or something, and always in bed, and at a time that suits her, but very often not me. I have to put it in as soon as I'm ready and get moving.. The last time it was all so unsexy I couldn't even get hard enough to put it in so I lost my little chance. This has happened more and more. So don't be too envious! Haha.

 

I should ask you the obvious question - the one people always ask me - I wonder why you didn't leave years ago?

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