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Ford Prefect

Has Punting Saved My Marriage?

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This might be a bit controversial, but here's a thought.  It's quite possible that my new(ish) punting habit my be contributing to saving my marriage.

 

Lets say I hadn't started punting (about once every 3 weeks for about 6 months now) - perhaps I would have foolishly convinced myself I need to have an affair in order to meet my sexual requirements. The reality is I really don't want an affair, and I'm quite comfortably married at the moment. My sexual frustration and a desire to experiment might have led me to do something foolish and jeopardise my marriage.

 

My relatively moderative punting habit has made me happier, more content, less focused on sex all the time when I'm around women. All in all, I'm more balanced and satisfied in life. And I can honestly say that, sexually, I have done everything I've wanted to, and I've had beautiful moments with gorgeous ladies, and I have no regrets. 

 

Thank heavens I never sought release (and possibly unfulfilling release) in a casual relationship

 

Just a thought.......   

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I can see some merit in this argument.  Mrs HDB has had a lot of mild depression over the past 6-7 years (thankfully this now seems to be lifting) and I was starting to wonder what the next 10 or more years would be like.  Punting has enabled me to do some things that I was no longer getting at home, do some things I was never going to get at home, and do some things that I never did and now know I can live without.  One effect of that is that I'm more content with the humdrum sex I have with Mrs HDB.  The rest of our relationship is pretty solid.

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This might be a bit controversial, but here's a thought.  It's quite possible that my new(ish) punting habit my be contributing to saving my marriage.

 

Lets say I hadn't started punting (about once every 3 weeks for about 6 months now) - perhaps I would have foolishly convinced myself I need to have an affair in order to meet my sexual requirements. The reality is I really don't want an affair, and I'm quite comfortably married at the moment. My sexual frustration and a desire to experiment might have led me to do something foolish and jeopardise my marriage.

 

My relatively moderative punting habit has made me happier, more content, less focused on sex all the time when I'm around women. All in all, I'm more balanced and satisfied in life. And I can honestly say that, sexually, I have done everything I've wanted to, and I've had beautiful moments with gorgeous ladies, and I have no regrets. 

 

Thank heavens I never sought release (and possibly unfulfilling release) in a casual relationship

 

Just a thought.......   

The moralists would say you should stick to wanking. ;)  In my case it was when i did have an affair that my world nearly fell apart as the woman turned out to be a very possessive bunny boiler and i had very stupidly given her my real details. Lesson learned, i shag around anonymously now.

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The moralists would say you should stick to wanking. ;)  In my case it was when i did have an affair that my world nearly fell apart as the woman turned out to be a very possessive bunny boiler and i had very stupidly given her my real details. Lesson learned, i shag around anonymously now.

 

If the wanking strategy had worked, I wouldn't have felt the need to try something else :D

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The moralists would say you should stick to wanking. ;) In my case it was when i did have an affair that my world nearly fell apart as the woman turned out to be a very possessive bunny boiler and i had very stupidly given her my real details. Lesson learned, i shag around anonymously now.

Been there, done that, still protecting the bunny....

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This might be a bit controversial, but here's a thought.  It's quite possible that my new(ish) punting habit my be contributing to saving my marriage.

 

Lets say I hadn't started punting (about once every 3 weeks for about 6 months now) - perhaps I would have foolishly convinced myself I need to have an affair in order to meet my sexual requirements. The reality is I really don't want an affair, and I'm quite comfortably married at the moment. My sexual frustration and a desire to experiment might have led me to do something foolish and jeopardise my marriage.

 

My relatively moderative punting habit has made me happier, more content, less focused on sex all the time when I'm around women. All in all, I'm more balanced and satisfied in life. And I can honestly say that, sexually, I have done everything I've wanted to, and I've had beautiful moments with gorgeous ladies, and I have no regrets. 

 

Thank heavens I never sought release (and possibly unfulfilling release) in a casual relationship

 

Just a thought.......   

 

I couldn't agree more.

 

After a decade in a monogamous relationship, I started punting in Jan '13. I have only had 3 punts so far, all of which were great. Either I was very lucky or I am easily pleased :-) In any case, I'm certainly a lot happier as a result and no longer feel distracted by younger female co-workers for example :-) My home life is also a lot better and I tend to feel more affectionate towards my wife these days, probably because I don't see her as a ball and chain any more :-) An interesting change is that instead of spending time on porn sites, I end up spending it on this message board - so, no gain there - just swapping one vice for another :-)

 

So far, by carefully choosing WGs, I have been able to avoid exchange of bodily fluids (OW, no FK). This is partly out of respect for my wife and partly self-preservation as if I were ever to give my wife an STD, the outcome would be less than ideal :-)

 

I don't feel particularly guilty as I much prefer the person I am now to the miserable git I was last year :-)

 

I am glad that there are other people feel the way I do about this. I haven't spoken to a single person about my new hobby so far. I almost did a few times, but I'm pleased that I didn't as some of my 'friends' are inveterate gossips.

 

As it stands, my latest punt was last week. I am currently content and have no immediate desire to punt in the near future. However, I am sure that my dark passenger will need to be satiated again sooner or later :-)

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This might be a bit controversial, but here's a thought.  It's quite possible that my new(ish) punting habit my be contributing to saving my marriage.

 

Lets say I hadn't started punting (about once every 3 weeks for about 6 months now) - perhaps I would have foolishly convinced myself I need to have an affair in order to meet my sexual requirements. The reality is I really don't want an affair, and I'm quite comfortably married at the moment. My sexual frustration and a desire to experiment might have led me to do something foolish and jeopardise my marriage.

 

My relatively moderative punting habit has made me happier, more content, less focused on sex all the time when I'm around women. All in all, I'm more balanced and satisfied in life. And I can honestly say that, sexually, I have done everything I've wanted to, and I've had beautiful moments with gorgeous ladies, and I have no regrets. 

 

Thank heavens I never sought release (and possibly unfulfilling release) in a casual relationship

 

Just a thought.......   

 

What does your wife think ? :P

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Are you saying that if the possibility of paid sex were not open to you - your marriage would be over?

 

What you don't realise is - your marriage is already over.

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Completely and wholeheartedly agree. I'm sure it prevents tons of marriages from falling apart as it can stop the man/woman from forming a loving relationship with someone else just for the sake of a bit of fun, sexual urges etc etc

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Good morning,

 

i think wg's do save marriages, unfortunately wives do not see it that way but that is down to morals.  Women use sex to get love and marriage, men never equate love and sex as the same thing.  Sex to a man is just hormonal release and desire.

 

I have met gentlemen who adore their spouses but unfortunately sex is no longer there, i have gentlemen whose wives know that they punt and i see clients who although they have a good sex life at home is either too embarrassed to discuss their kinks with their spouse or indulge in them as they do not know what kind of reaction they might get.  But overall yes it does stop you from getting involved in a very sticky situation which ultimately could be very disasterous for your family.

 

but unfortunately there are instances where clients will become enamoured by a wg and vice versa and they start a little secret affair, he tells her he loves her and she believes him. Things do not work out and unfortunately gentlemen you do tend to talk when in the moment, wg has just the information she might need to ruin your life as you have come to your senses and realised that the fantasy is most definately not the reality.

 

It is a double edged sword but thank god that 90% of wg's know where to draw the line and it should never be crossed so in general punting is far safer than a random shag.  And there endeth the sermon!

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As I've often posted here, I certainly believe I would have left my OH if I hadn't found punting.

No doubt she would see it as gross infidelity and leave me if she ever found out but on my part I can survive with a punt now and then when opportunity arises.

I'm eternally thankful to all the lovely ladies in this industry that, in real life, I'd never stand a chance of having some fun with.

I've never even considered an affair, that would be too complicated and I believe harder to cover, besides a punt an occur anywhere opportunity arises whereas an affair would have have a double logistical nightmare assuming the lady was also attached.

DG

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Are you saying that if the possibility of paid sex were not open to you - your marriage would be over?

 

What you don't realise is - your marriage is already over.

That's a bit harsh Lancelot, but I tend to agree in essence.  Once you start punting, you have moved on from something that was exclusive to two people.

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This might be a bit controversial, but here's a thought.  It's quite possible that my new(ish) punting habit my be contributing to saving my marriage.

 

Lets say I hadn't started punting (about once every 3 weeks for about 6 months now) - perhaps I would have foolishly convinced myself I need to have an affair in order to meet my sexual requirements. The reality is I really don't want an affair, and I'm quite comfortably married at the moment. My sexual frustration and a desire to experiment might have led me to do something foolish and jeopardise my marriage.

 

My relatively moderative punting habit has made me happier, more content, less focused on sex all the time when I'm around women. All in all, I'm more balanced and satisfied in life. And I can honestly say that, sexually, I have done everything I've wanted to, and I've had beautiful moments with gorgeous ladies, and I have no regrets. 

 

Thank heavens I never sought release (and possibly unfulfilling release) in a casual relationship

 

Just a thought.......   

Not wanting to be rude, but what makes you think you could just slip into some casual relationship?  Not all women are so shallow that they would want this.  Casual relationships are not something you can just pick up because you feel like it today.  this is why there are so many Internet dating sites.

Punting is a selfish shallow activity and no mistake.  Don't make it sound like the holy grail.  It is not the perfect alternative to a failing marriage my friend.

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I went down the opposite route and had an affair which in effect was the final thing that finished what was left of our marriage, My wife had also had affairs so neither of us were to blame fully.

 

At the time I'd have preferred to stay married and with hindsight the punting route would have probably given me what I was looking for that was missing.

 

Many years later I look back and, again with hindsight, realise that punting might only have been a quick fix for something that was already broken and have had far more fun as a single bloke than I ever did when married.

 

 

.

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wives should send their husbands out happily to visit girls, after all they have shut up shop most of the time yet still want all the benfits of being married. If they sent husband on their way it would m'ake their bond more content bec the husband wouldn't resent the wife then. Don't get some women it's not about them and how they look so why get weird i know guys married to the most beautiful sexy women and they still poke it around.

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Not wanting to be rude, but what makes you think you could just slip into some casual relationship?  Not all women are so shallow that they would want this.  Casual relationships are not something you can just pick up because you feel like it today.  this is why there are so many Internet dating sites.

Punting is a selfish shallow activity and no mistake.  Don't make it sound like the holy grail.  It is not the perfect alternative to a failing marriage my friend.

 

Sarah, thats an interesting response.

 

You seemed to have picked up on the wrong point. My post wasn't about casual affairs. Its about my preference for a 'no strings' satisfaction event as opposed to a 'strings attached potentially bunny boiler' event. I don't see anything in my post that intimates that all women are shallow - I'm sure you will agree that there are women, and men, who engage in affairs. So what was that all about?

 

And who said its a 'perfect' alternative? As has been confirmed by a few of the chaps here, its a 'useful' alternative that can help bring some balance.

 

Is it fair on the OH? No. Is it the lesser of 2 evils? Possibly. After 22 years of marriage, we are still happy, content, travel the world, live the life we dream.Sexually though, we are in different places.

 

I hope your day improves :D      

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What you don't realise is - your marriage is already over.

 

Yep, maybe, but I prefer to have my cake and eat it :-)

 

You never know, time may well prove you right. I guess, we'll just have to wait and see :-)

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Punting is a selfish shallow activity and no mistake.

 

Agreed. But it's fun, right? :-)

 

Ref:

Rand, Ayn. "Introduction". In The Virtue of Selfishness 1964, pp. vii–ix

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So, how would the married men feel if they found out their wife was shagging someone else and not you because she doesn't think you're much good in bed?

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So, how would the married men feel if they found out their wife was shagging someone else and not you because she doesn't think you're much good in bed?

Oddly, fine. Although I think I'm naturally inclined towards an open/swinging type relationship (which ain't ever gonna happen!!).

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Oddly, fine. Although I think I'm naturally inclined towards an open/swinging type relationship (which ain't ever gonna happen!!).

+1

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Oddly, fine. Although I think I'm naturally inclined towards an open/swinging type relationship (which ain't ever gonna happen!!).

Hear, hear!

 

So, how would the married men feel if they found out their wife was shagging someone else and not you because she doesn't think you're much good in bed?

I think that firstly, I'd be intrigued to hear all the details of their encounter. Then, I would aim to outperform the other fella :-) But of course, like someone else said: ain't ever gonna happen!

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Paid sex does not save marriages - as I think most men, if paid sex was not possible - would wank more and watch more porn. Leaving a wife (+child) is quite a thing to do - just for a sex life - and I think most would not do it - I certainly would not. What is does - perhaps - is make it easier to endure an unsatisfactory marriage. But the price of that is money, unfaithfullness, deceipt plus the risk of domestic hell if ever caught out. It is certainly a bum deal but that's how it pans out.

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Not wanting to be rude, but what makes you think you could just slip into some casual relationship?  Not all women are so shallow that they would want this.  Casual relationships are not something you can just pick up because you feel like it today.  this is why there are so many Internet dating sites.

Punting is a selfish shallow activity and no mistake.  Don't make it sound like the holy grail.  It is not the perfect alternative to a failing marriage my friend.

I agree - look at dating sites - all the women stating no casual relationships - no one night stands - no married men.

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So, how would the married men feel if they found out their wife was shagging someone else and not you because she doesn't think you're much good in bed?

 

I think DeliciousMsDee had a point when she said that women find it a lot harder to distinguish between love and lust than men.  We obviously do, but that's also probably why lots of women can't do this either.   With that in mind, I think for a lot of men finding out their wives were playing away would give them free license to go fill their boots even more.

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