SpoksEyebrows

The Bed Life, It's Cot To Go

58 posts in this topic

So there we were, she was on top and we going at it hammer and tongs but all I could think about was whether the bed would hold out. The whole thing seemed to be about to collapse any second. A few weeks previous at another location a similar bed experience almost stole the show.  

 

Now I haven't written this with any intended malevolence so please don't think I've gotten out of the wrong side of the bed. I am curious though, about this most well used of fixed assets and its lifespan within a parlour environment. So how often do the proprietors of such establishments need to replace their beds?

Edited by SpoksEyebrows

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well that depends on how strong the bed is when they buy it. 

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Have been in the same situation myself on a couple of occasions when the bed actually broke during a punt.Once with an indi where we put the bed back together and once in a parlour where we moved to a vacant room.Some parlours I know have bricks and added supports to ensure this does not happen though I resented being sent to the weigh station and signing a pre - punt disaclaimer!  

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well that depends on how strong the bed is when they buy it. 

Who would have thought it.

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For many products, like carpets and ladders, f'rinstance, there are domestic and industrial qualities. I don't however quite hear the conversation at DFS or any other furniture store between the salesman, and the WG, with her asking for an industrial strength bed!

 

Hotel and catering suppliers won't usually supply one-off, and particularly not to private individuals. (A bit OT, but I completely failed to buy "steelite" crockery to equip three holiday lets - the makers simply refused to sell because I wasn't a company!

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I remember when I first starting offering incalls.  I bought a bed from Dreams and within 3 weeks the thing was on the verge of collapsing (and it certainly wasn't over used).  I rang Dreams up, who sent out someone to check to see if the bed was faulty.  They deemed it was and I then had a further FOUR MONTHS of them trying to collect the bed and give me my refund.  It sat in the kitchen in pieces until they finally collected it.  When I bought a better bed from a local manufaturer, he told me that Dreams are the worst for quality and their customer services is a nightmare.  I should have done my research better.  Why do you always find out these things the hard way.

 

So, if you're thinking of buying a new bed don't go to Dreams.  Just check out the terrible feedback they have on Money Saving Expert for proof.:)

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Who would have thought it.

clearly not you despite it being a glaringly obvious answer. You question is like asking how long is a piece of string

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clearly not you despite it being a glaringly obvious answer. You question is like asking how long is a piece of string

If the length of a piece of string is defined as being that portion of string from the start of the string to the end of the string and, then apply a tape measure to this portion, the reading taken from the tape measure will answer the question as to how long is a piece of string.

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If the length of a piece of string is defined as being that portion of string from the start of the string to the end of the string and, then apply a tape measure to this portion, the reading taken from the tape measure will answer the question as to how long is a piece of string.

which confirms my point. Its subjective to the piece of string in hand at the time lol. Same goes for parlour beds. It depends how strong they were when new, the style of the bed, how much use the bed actually gets etc. I have known beds last 2 weeks at a push with not much action at all really and others that are still going strong after 2 years of almost constant one after the other use.

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LOL, I broke 2 within a week of each other.

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LOL, I broke 2 within a week of each other.

Mmm dont you mean 'we'  ;) which brings me onto that other thing, 3 on the bed...knackers the bed

Edited by Chloe Kisses

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LOL, I broke 2 within a week of each other.

 

 

Mmm dont you mean 'we'  ;) which brings me onto that other thing, 3 on the bed...knackers the bed

One of them was my proudest punting moment :D ...  Kudos to you both for being the literal embodiment of 'Keep Calm and Carry On (Shagging)'

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Mmm dont you mean 'we' ;) which brings me onto that other thing, 3 on the bed...knackers the bed

Yeah we broke it, and bobbin on one of those lolz

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which confirms my point. Its subjective to the piece of string in hand at the time lol. Same goes for parlour beds. It depends how strong they were when new, the style of the bed, how much use the bed actually gets etc. I have known beds last 2 weeks at a push with not much action at all really and others that are still going strong after 2 years of almost constant one after the other use.

You are talking rubbish as usual. A piece of string is as long as you want/need it to be just as a bed is as strong as you need it to be. In order to make structures safe we do calculations based on the intended loading and stresses they will undergo.

 

Should one of the beds in one of these parlours collapse and cause an injury they could be sued.

 

I doubt any of them have been risk assessed.

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You are talking rubbish as usual. A piece of string is as long as you want/need it to be just as a bed is as strong as you need it to be. In order to make structures safe we do calculations based on the intended loading and stresses they will undergo.

 

Should one of the beds in one of these parlours collapse and cause an injury they could be sued.

 

I doubt any of them have been risk assessed.

What a load of shit...that must have taken some effort even for you lol x

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You are talking rubbish as usual. A piece of string is as long as you want/need it to be just as a bed is as strong as you need it to be. In order to make structures safe we do calculations based on the intended loading and stresses they will undergo.

 

Should one of the beds in one of these parlours collapse and cause an injury they could be sued.

 

I doubt any of them have been risk assessed.

As long as you want/need it to be.So that means the answer is variable which is pretty much what was stated.As for a bed being as strong as you need it to be.Thats not strictly true.Theres a massive difference in the structural strength between types.Thats why some come with weight warnings.The rest of your post just come across a tad pompous and lacking in your namesakes cold logic,still,at least it made me chuckle

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What a load of shit...that must have taken some effort even for you lol x

Nevertheless, you seem to be hopelessly attracted to it. ;)

Edited by SpoksEyebrows

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An interesting sideline for a parlour perhaps...stress-testing beds for the manufacturers...'yes madam, this is a very durable model, it lasted a full 24 months at our local knocking shop!' :D

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Nevertheless, you seem to be hopelessly attracted to it. ;)

Spok your verbal hair pulling may work on some but wont work on me. 

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So there we were, she was on top and we going at it hammer and tongs but all I could think about was whether the bed would hold out. The whole thing seemed to be about to collapse any second. A few weeks previous at another location a similar bed experience almost stole the show.  

 

Now I haven't written this with any intended malevolence so please don't think I've gotten out of the wrong side of the bed. I am curious though, about this most well used of fixed assets and its lifespan within a parlour environment. So how often do the proprietors of such establishments need to replace their beds?

 

This is the most stupid thread I have seen in a while on this forum.  It is only a tight ,miserly and very miserable person that would be thinking of beds

and how long they last for ?! WTF !! 

 

 

 

 

..........However in real life I can recommend a Tempur mattress- not good for fucking on as you sink right in, water beds make me sick and dizzy,

memory mattress are ok. I prefer a good firm, hard bed, not too hard but just comfortable to drift off to sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (bit like this thread

:lol:  :P )

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This is the most stupid thread I have seen in a while on this forum.  It is only a tight ,miserly and very miserable person that would be thinking of beds

and how long they last for ?! WTF !! 

 

 

 

 

..........However in real life I can recommend a Tempur mattress- not good for fucking on as you sink right in, water beds make me sick and dizzy,

memory mattress are ok. I prefer a good firm, hard bed, not too hard but just comfortable to drift off to sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (bit like this thread

:lol:  :P )

 

Some would say you are dizzy enough already my dear te he he. :blink:

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This is the most stupid thread I have seen in a while on this forum.

 

I get that you are being funny here but the truth is it's one of those old-world MK board threads that have thankfully started to disappear where a handful of girls and a handful of punters (all the usual suspects) retreat into a self-created mutual admiration society which contributes nothing of use whatsoever to the wider board. Still, let them get on with it.

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I get that you are being funny here but the truth is it's one of those old-world MK board threads that have thankfully started to disappear where a handful of girls and a handful of punters (all the usual suspects) retreat into a self-created mutual admiration society which contributes nothing of use whatsoever to the wider board. Still, let them get on with it.

Cupcake isn’t known for her adroitness just as you are not known for your brevity.

 

What I choose as a topic is my business.

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Another pointless thread that has nothing to do with information on the MK scene - can the moderators move it somewhere more appropriate please?

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I get that you are being funny here but the truth is it's one of those old-world MK board threads that have thankfully started to disappear where a handful of girls and a handful of punters (all the usual suspects) retreat into a self-created mutual admiration society which contributes nothing of use whatsoever to the wider board. Still, let them get on with it.

 

As you are such an expert on the punting scene, come on open up and give us the benefit of your vast punting experiences, especially in MK, who's good, who you'd would or wouldn't see again etc, etc, etc. Oh yes and please point us in the direction of your FR's as none appear under your forum name.

 

I await with great interest.

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