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OSFAB

Being Friend With A Wg

96 posts in this topic

So I've gotten to know a great lady this past few weeks. We've met a few times, each time for two hours. We talk a lot, have a lot of similar opinions, and she has said on more than one occasion that she really likes spending time with me. The first time we got together she hugged and kissed me at the door. 

 

I'm sure there are many punters here that have written of a genuine connection. I wouldn't call our relationship that, purely because it's a cliche. But I would say that I really like her company. She makes me laugh and it's always great seeing her. She has given me her private   phone number and her email. I'm done with punting so don't want to see her again in that capacity. Just hang out now and then. 

 

She got in touch yesterday and arranged to have coffee today. She said she had a doctor's appointment early afternoon and after she would call me to meet up. So it's nearly 8pm and I've been waiting for news. She texted late afternoon to say she was waiting a long time at the doctors. She still hasn't got back to me.

 

She has said in passing that another friend she had in her home country (although in another city) was upset with her for not getting round to seeing him. She described her as her best friend. So now I'm getting the feeling that wanting to establish a friendship might just be a whole heap of disappointment.

 

What do you guys think? Should I bother to expect anything in terms of friendship from her? I must add that I have no friends at the moment, and it would be nice to have a few, or at least one. 

Edited by OSFAB

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Oh sweetheart you could be heading for, at best disappointment and at worst heartbreak with this one.  Try and put your personal time with this lady to one side and think about how you would feel if this was a mate that you may have met somewhere like the gym that was letting you down.

 

I don't mean to sound patronising but I'm pretty sure you already know where this is going.  The problem is for a girl/SP, (especially a single girl/SP) at times this world can be very lonely and we can or do cross boundaries we maybe wouldn't normally because of that.  You have intimated that this lady doesn't come from this country so it could be worse for her. 

 

I'm not saying that you can't have a friendship or something may not develop, I'm just saying take it at face value.  If something develops lovely, if it doesn't don't be disappointed and see it for what it is.

 

If it's friendship you seek then its not from a working girl unfortunately.  I know it's easier said than done, but you need to get out there and meet people in normal places.

 

I hope I'm wrong on this one.

 

Hugs H x

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Nothing wrong in being her friend but the feeling has to be mutual. My candid advice is dont come on too strong lest she starts thinking you are stalking her or want a relationship with her. Let it be on her terms and also very important DONT start calling and texting her 20 times a day. Just let things take their natural course.

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Oh sweetheart you could be heading for, at best disappointment and at worst heartbreak with this one.  Try and put your personal time with this lady to one side and think about how you would feel if this was a mate that you may have met somewhere like the gym that was letting you down.

 

I don't mean to sound patronising but I'm pretty sure you already know where this is going.  The problem is for a girl/SP, (especially a single girl/SP) at times this world can be very lonely and we can or do cross boundaries we maybe wouldn't normally because of that.  You have intimated that this lady doesn't come from this country so it could be worse for her. 

 

I'm not saying that you can't have a friendship or something may not develop, I'm just saying take it at face value.  If something develops lovely, if it doesn't don't be disappointed and see it for what it is.

 

If it's friendship you seek then its not from a working girl unfortunately.  I know it's easier said than done, but you need to get out there and meet people in normal places.

 

I hope I'm wrong on this one.

 

Hugs H x

 

Holly, I understand where you are coming from. For her to suggest having a coffee with me and then not even getting in touch to cancel is pretty poor. Just one little text would have been enough. 

 

You're not being patronising at all. And I do understand that it can be lonely being a WG. She even said that she didn't have many friends. 

 

As I've said. She was going to be my very last visit to WG. Which turned into 3 visits. I really am ready to put my punting life behind me but I guess it would be too much to ask to get a friendship out of it. Besides, she moves around a lot, goes on holiday regularly. 

 

I'm pissed off she hasn't gotten in touch tbh and I have a low tolerance for people being like that. Like you say, I need to make friends in the "real" world and I believe I can. 

 

It's just a shame b/c I would have been much more comfortable seeing her outside her work hours. Punting has become really anxiety and shame inducing for me, hence me quitting.

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Nothing wrong in being her friend but the feeling has to be mutual. My candid advice is dont come on too strong lest she starts thinking you are stalking her or want a relationship with her. Let it be on her terms and also very important DONT start calling and texting her 20 times a day. Just let things take their natural course.

 

Good point. I've resisted leaving more than one missed call on her phone. That and a couple of "where are you?" texts. But unless she's lost her phone, she's blown me off (no pun intended) and not given a toss about letting me know. And that's pretty selfish. 

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Where she comes from is important, as cultural norms around these kinds of things could be quite different. And then all individuals are different anyway.

You can be friends with a WG, but chances are its going to be complicated and there is a good chance you are looking for more (been there!) I didn't understand your comment about her friend....

Does she work for an agency? The private email and phone number could be a way to circumvent that. She could think you might be start of 'customer-with-benefits' where the GFE extends well outside an appointment into a facsimile type relationship (like sugar daddy or something?). Usually includes lots of texts, pictures, etc. Or like you said, you just got on well and she wants to hang as friends.

Give her a few days, lay low. Send her a funny link or something. Then see if she wants to grab food one night, try again. If that fails, delete. obsessing is really bad news and unhealthy.

I completely understand about the friends thing. I have lived here many years (now early forties) and don't have a single friend really, nobody to call to go to the pub, etc. sure I know work people but that is very different. I find Brits polite, humorous, well read, sometimes friendly....and completely walled off, almost cruelly. I have tried making friends numerous times, all fails. I would love to say I'm doing something wrong, I've racked my brains about it, but have given up. I had never thought about escorts, but tried it out of a degree of loneliness, sounds dire I realise, but maybe makes you feel a bit better that you surely aren't alone on that front.

And: they can be utterly fascinating people with crazy life experiences and often some unique insights into the male mind. Escorts are often naturally social and attractive, ergo, the profession. It's easy to feel like its genuine but it's often just great service.

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Nothing wrong with it at all, one of my best friends is a WG - guesses as to who on a postcard please! ;)

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Oh sweetheart you could be heading for, at best disappointment and at worst heartbreak with this one.  Try and put your personal time with this lady to one side and think about how you would feel if this was a mate that you may have met somewhere like the gym that was letting you down.

 

I don't mean to sound patronising but I'm pretty sure you already know where this is going.  The problem is for a girl/SP, (especially a single girl/SP) at times this world can be very lonely and we can or do cross boundaries we maybe wouldn't normally because of that.  You have intimated that this lady doesn't come from this country so it could be worse for her. 

 

I'm not saying that you can't have a friendship or something may not develop, I'm just saying take it at face value.  If something develops lovely, if it doesn't don't be disappointed and see it for what it is.

 

If it's friendship you seek then its not from a working girl unfortunately.  I know it's easier said than done, but you need to get out there and meet people in normal places.

 

I hope I'm wrong on this one.

 

Hugs H x

I completely agree with what Holly says here, but would like to add that friendships are something that happen over  period of time, and not something you ever expect really.

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I completely agree with what Holly says here, but would like to add that friendships are something that happen over  period of time, and not something you ever expect really.

 

True. It's just that I was really looking forward to seeing her - believe it or not - with our clothes on. Just talking and relating. It would have made my day :(

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Agreed Sarah, the one I'm referring to is 3 years maybe.

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Where she comes from is important, as cultural norms around these kinds of things could be quite different. And then all individuals are different anyway.

You can be friends with a WG, but chances are its going to be complicated and there is a good chance you are looking for more (been there!) I didn't understand your comment about her friend....

Does she work for an agency? The private email and phone number could be a way to circumvent that. She could think you might be start of 'customer-with-benefits' where the GFE extends well outside an appointment into a facsimile type relationship (like sugar daddy or something?). Usually includes lots of texts, pictures, etc. Or like you said, you just got on well and she wants to hang as friends.

Give her a few days, lay low. Send her a funny link or something. Then see if she wants to grab food one night, try again. If that fails, delete. obsessing is really bad news and unhealthy.

I completely understand about the friends thing. I have lived here many years (now early forties) and don't have a single friend really, nobody to call to go to the pub, etc. sure I know work people but that is very different. I find Brits polite, humorous, well read, sometimes friendly....and completely walled off, almost cruelly. I have tried making friends numerous times, all fails. I would love to say I'm doing something wrong, I've racked my brains about it, but have given up. I had never thought about escorts, but tried it out of a degree of loneliness, sounds dire I realise, but maybe makes you feel a bit better that you surely aren't alone on that front.

And: they can be utterly fascinating people with crazy life experiences and often some unique insights into the male mind. Escorts are often naturally social and attractive, ergo, the profession. It's easy to feel like its genuine but it's often just great service.

 

TBH I had entertained the idea of a relationship, not that me entertaining it would mean it was a possibility. 

 

I'll definitely lay low. I took a walk around the block and feel a lot less pissed off now. And I have enough perspective on things to know when to hit delete, for sure.

 

Completely agree about a lot of the English (not necessarily the Brits), at least here in London. Sorry if that offends anyone here, but it's my perception. There are manners and laughter, but not much warmth and inclusiveness, in my experience. And yup, I've racked my brains about what I'm doing wrong too, and have stopped caring. I can't be bothered about fitting in anymore. That's part of the reason I loved meeting foreign WGs. They were as much an outsider as I was. 

 

P.S. She had mentioned to me when we last met that a friend had got in touch and was annoyed that she met up with him in a long time. This is back in her home country. She seemed a bit stressed about it, but also mentioned that he was her best friend.

Edited by OSFAB

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It's a funny thing this friendship thing...  I have clients that I no longer see because we have become friends, and some clients I still see because we are friends.  i suppose it depends on the level of friendship and the dynamic that exists between you both

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It's a funny thing this friendship thing...  I have clients that I no longer see because we have become friends, and some clients I still see because we are friends.  i suppose it depends on the level of friendship and the dynamic that exists between you both

 

I would have liked to have been her friend only, not a client any more :(

 

As I say, I'm out of the punting game.

Edited by OSFAB

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I would have liked to have been her friend only, not a client any more :(

 

As I say, I'm out of the punting game.

If you find the punting life so distasteful then could you be comfortable as her friend if she still sees clients?  Could you put that part of what you know of her out of your head.

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If you find the punting life so distasteful then could you be comfortable as her friend if she still sees clients?  Could you put that part of what you know of her out of your head.

Yes, I could.

Just to clarify that I don't think punting is a distasteful in general, more that I personally need more "normal" social interaction in my life right now.

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So I've gotten to know a great lady this past few weeks. We've met a few times, each time for two hours. We talk a lot, have a lot of similar opinions, and she has said on more than one occasion that she really likes spending time with me. The first time we got together she hugged and kissed me at the door. 

 

I'm sure there are many punters here that have written of a genuine connection. I wouldn't call our relationship that, purely because it's a cliche. But I would say that I really like her company. She makes me laugh and it's always great seeing her. She has given me her private   phone number and her email. I'm done with punting so don't want to see her again in that capacity. Just hang out now and then. 

 

She got in touch yesterday and arranged to have coffee today. She said she had a doctor's appointment early afternoon and after she would call me to meet up. So it's nearly 8pm and I've been waiting for news. She texted late afternoon to say she was waiting a long time at the doctors. She still hasn't got back to me.

 

She has said in passing that another friend she had in her home country (although in another city) was upset with her for not getting round to seeing him. She described her as her best friend. So now I'm getting the feeling that wanting to establish a friendship might just be a whole heap of disappointment.

 

What do you guys think? Should I bother to expect anything in terms of friendship from her? I must add that I have no friends at the moment, and it would be nice to have a few, or at least one. 

 

Hi, I also don't have many friends (atm just have 2 people I see sometimes for a drink). I've never really had girls as friends. Mostly I stick to one girl (punting), because I don't feel bothered to see other girls (why would I? Sex just for the sex without knowing a person a little bit just feels so empty). I've been friends with a couple of girls in this world, but I've found that it's difficuilt to form a meaningful friendship with them because they are so busy. Some girls have asked me to go to a restaurant/shopping, some even say 'you can be my BF' and things like that, but it'll just leave you empty when it appears she's not serious.

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Hi, I also don't have many friends (atm just have 2 people I see sometimes for a drink). I've never really had girls as friends. Mostly I stick to one girl (punting), because I don't feel bothered to see other girls (why would I? Sex just for the sex without knowing a person a little bit just feels so empty). I've been friends with a couple of girls in this world, but I've found that it's difficuilt to form a meaningful friendship with them because they are so busy. Some girls have asked me to go to a restaurant/shopping, some even say 'you can be my BF' and things like that, but it'll just leave you empty when it appears she's not serious.

Yup. I'm feeling the emptiness right now...

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Perhaps she had bad news at the docs.Maybe she got out really late and presumed  you would have gone home.Yes,it would have been nice to contact you,but without knowing the exact circumstances we don't know whether that was possible.Few times now either my phones gone bandy,or my mates has when somethings come up.Normall wait a bit,if its somewhere with food,sod throwing a strop and leaving,make the most,grab some nosebag then head home.Will normally email when home just to make sure its nothing serious.
If she's a busy lady you might not see her too often,then you have cancellations if a decent booking comes in.This doesnt sound like the kind of friendship you want or are after and could lead to you getting ratty with her which she probably wouldnt want either.Also,i may be wrong but it reads like youre taking this a bit more than a casual friendship.As i've said,me and my mate let eachother down a lot both having some pretty hectic periods.Do we get upset?No.Thats half of what friendship is about

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Perhaps she had bad I'm quitting s at the docs.Maybe she got out really late and presumed you would have gone home.Yes,it would have been nice to contact you,but without knowing the exact circumstances we don't know whether that was possible.Few times now either my phones gone bandy,or my mates has when somethings come up.Normall wait a bit,if its somewhere with food,sod throwing a strop and leaving,make the most,grab some nosebag then head home.Will normally email when home just to make sure its nothing serious.

If she's a busy lady you might not see her too often,then you have cancellations if a decent booking comes in.This doesnt sound like the kind of friendship you want or are after and could lead to you getting ratty with her which she probably wouldnt want either.Also,i may be wrong but it reads like youre taking this a bit more than a casual friendship.As i've said,me and my mate let eachother down a lot both having some pretty hectic periods.Do we get upset?No.Thats half of what friendship is about

You're right. Maybe this isn't something I should pursue.

But for the record i'm quitting punting. I won't be seeing any other girls.

Edited by OSFAB

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Some good friendships are ones where you are pleased to see each other, even if you haven't been in touch for a while.

 

Give her some time and try again for a coffee or a bite eat.

 

An escort I used to see (she was married), enjoyed the odd coffee/cake meet up and chat about various things. Think she was keeping her options open. After a while dropped off the radar and moved away. I enjoyed her company in and out of the bed and have fond memories of her.

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I wouldn't get your hopes up sadly. The friendship is usually within the confines of the booking. I had a working girl arrange to meet me outside of work once but subsequently cancelled with no message, some excuse about losing my number came out when I met her next. More than likely made up. A few weeks later she put her number in my phone during a booking, we sent a few texts, however, I think once she'd thought about it she prioritized keeping a good client (revenue stream) over anything else. I think in a lot of these scenarios the working relationship tends to win. 

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I wouldn't get your hopes up sadly. The friendship is usually within the confines of the booking. I had a working girl arrange to meet me outside of work once but subsequently cancelled with no message, some excuse about losing my number came out when I met her next. More than likely made up. A few weeks later she put her number in my phone during a booking, we sent a few texts, however, I think once she'd thought about it she prioritized keeping a good client (revenue stream) over anything else. I think in a lot of these scenarios the working relationship tends to win. 

 

+1

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Yup. I'm feeling the emptiness right now...

 

 

I remember spending a lot of money on a couple of punts over a relatively short period of time and afterwards I thought 'What in god's name am I doing?'. It was in fact just the same like masturbation (no offence intended to the lovely ladies here, but that was just how I felt). I didn't know the girls, it was so mechanical, it was so boring and unsatisfactory.

 

Just sleeping next to or spending time with a girl you love is worth so much more.

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You're right. Maybe this isn't something I should pursue.

But for the record i'm quitting punting. I won't be seeing any other girls.

 

You're fighting a losing battle, OSFAB - escorts and 'relationships' don't mix.  Escorts don't take up their trade in search of boyfriends and most would be reluctant to turn a client into a boyfriend.  Enjoy them for what they are - lovely women who can give you great pleasure and can even become 'pals' - but don't confuse friendship with love and marriage.  You will hurt them because they will not want to hurt you, but they simply can't afford to fall in love with even their most favourite clients.

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You're fighting a losing battle, OSFAB - escorts and 'relationships' don't mix.  Escorts don't take up their trade in search of boyfriends and most would be reluctant to turn a client into a boyfriend.  Enjoy them for what they are - lovely women who can give you great pleasure and can even become 'pals' - but don't confuse friendship with love and marriage.  You will hurt them because they will not want to hurt you, but they simply can't afford to fall in love with even their most favourite clients.

 

Hey Tiggy what about your Thai GF? ;):D

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