willbred

A Regular- Time To Move On

69 posts in this topic

As a big fan of regulars, I feel I have to write this down, so please bear with me.

 

I am reflecting on a decision made yesterday to move on from a regular of 4 years standing (kneeling, lying down as well!).

 

The reasons behind my decision were:

 

  1. The increasing amount of “untruths” (to be kind) she would come out with. I was aware of this trait more or less since day1 and frankly I tried to ignore it originally. We have always got on well; the sex has been fantastic, inventive and fulfilling. I didn’t think I was under an illusion about the relationship – perhaps I was a bit naïve?
  2. The habit of moving bookings, sometimes hours, other times different days, often at short notice has become increasingly irksome. When I first met the lady, she worked in a parlour, timekeeping was generally OK. She went indie 6 months ago and seems to be struggling to manage bookings. I always book early, often 3-4 days in advance to fit in with work / home life, which she appreciates.

 

The catalyst (often a relatively small issue) was that she asked me to take photos for her AW gallery. I readily agreed and (in hindsight, perhaps naively) purchased a fairly cheap digital camera for the purpose, keeping it at hers. The day of the”shoot”, she texts me to postpone until the next week. The day before the rearranged day - yes cancelled again. No big deal methinks. Until on Monday evening, I go to her AW page to make a booking and there is a full gallery of photos .To be honest, I felt well let down as she hadn’t mentioned anyone else doing it. I was due to see her on Tuesday afternoon and having slept on it Monday night, I decided to call her to end it yesterday morning. I switched on my phone to get 2 texts – one at 05:30 cancelling that evening’s booking, another 10 minutes later asking me if I’d decided whether I would rebook this Thursday!!!

 

 

I made the call, which I found much easier to do than I had expected. I am comfortable about my decision. However, I may feel about this particular lady (great fondness, as it happens) this game we play is a commercially based transaction. We had both blurred the lines between client and provider and in the finish; I didn’t feel I was being treated with respect. Top – quality sex can’t mask that, for me at any rate.

 

So, awake and refreshed again, I intend to spend the next few days “interviewing” for a potential replacement.

 

Thanks for “listening”. I needed to get this off my chest.

 

 

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I'm a big fan of my regulars.  When I first started working my boss told me to look after the regular client because they are your 'bread and butter' clients.

 

I never take my regulars for granted.  I never let them down in this way.  I am not that sort of person - let alone that sort of working girl who treats clients with this level of contempt.  When I read things like this I wonder what planet some of these girls are on.

 

The regular client is a special client.  For this man I constantly strive to reinvent myself in little ways to keep the spice in our 'relationship'.  I want this man to return for lots of reasons - one of which is the familiarity which I love and the safety aspect which I am grateful for.

 

You are so right to move on, and don't be so accommodating next time.  It is our job to please you and not the other way around.  Anything nice you do for us as service providers is a bonus for which we should be grateful.

 

I started a thread up a while back about boundaries and in your case I think the boundaries got smudged over.  Boundaries are good for both parties.  If they are no good for anything else they help to keep up a level of respect which to me is important no matter how well you may think you know each other.

 

Good luck with your research !

Edited by Sarah Summers

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I have a regular, Ive seen her for the last 4 years. Ive tried to wean myself off seeing her because she is at the top of my price range. No pay rises in that time period and everything getting more expensive make this girl a luxury. I must say she hasn't raised her price in all that time.

The reason I keep on seeing her is I know exactly what I will get, a bloody good time, lots of fantastic sex, good conversation and a lot of humour. I have seen a lot of other girls in those years, none bad, some indifferent and most good but none a patch on the whole package that is my regular girl.

Your regular, Im afraid, I wouldn't have entertained, it looks like she took advantage of you.

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   How you gonna get the camera back ?    If I read correctly , you bought the camera and she had another punter take the pics ?    That would make me very angry .   The constant cancelling is that she is too familiar with you and taking you for granted , but you know that . You did the best thing by telling her direct that you wont be visiting anymore . But she wont give a monkeys . Another guy has taken your place  [  and your camera  ] 

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That was naughty of her.  Sounds like this wants her cake and eat it..

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We all have to be on our guard to make sure the boundary is not crossed.  If you want a proper relationship, get a girlfriend.

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I have had a couple of regulars who start to take advantage - one who texted me ten minutes before the meeting to say her kid was ill. After the third time he was ill on the morning of the date, I gave up.

 

One of the others is awesome at responding to requests and obviously like Sarah wants to keep me as a regular because we both have a good time and she feels safe with me.

 

Its a good thing to be a regular as she too reinvents herself for me - schoolgirl, air hostess etc

 

 I also saw a lady a little while ago where I hab been a regular and then not seen her for two years but the chemistry was still there.

 

Its the old adage - you pays your money etc

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We all have to be on our guard to make sure the boundary is not crossed.  If you want a proper relationship, get a girlfriend.

 

That's right. One of the points of punting is you shouldn't have to put up with the sort of shit that regular girlfriends will put you through.

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I think I have a fairly similar situation; what seems to happen with my most regular SP, who I have seen maybe 7/8 times now, is she gets a 'better offer' than my 1 hour booking (which is normally made 2-5 days in advance).

 

she'll cancel with a generic excuse (she's probably racked up nearly as many relatively last-minute cancellations with me as bookings, 5 at least), but lo and behold when i see her feedback etc on AW a day or two later, she's seemingly been a busy girl in that time, but with longer bookings than mine would have been. i have been told/it has been mentioned on here that she only takes one booking per day, so I can understand (if that is the case) that she would want to maximise income.

 

nonetheless, despite the fact that she's a fabulous SP I'm getting a bit cheesed off and probably in search of a new regular.

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I have the opposite experience.

 

My most regular lady builds her trips to London around our bookings and you could set your watch by her punctuality.

 

Another regular has twice changed personal arrangements to spend extra time with me and did not cancel one booking when faced with an immediate probable personal tragedy. She planned not to tell me, but I found out despite her best efforts. I gave her the chance to back out of the intimacy and keep the money but she refused, apologising profusely for being unprofessional in letting me find out. When everything eventually worked out fine and we made another booking, she produced a second bottle of wine to add to mine, saying "Today, we're gonna get drunk together and celebrate."

 

Both are totally professional but their essential humanity also shines though, as well.

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My approach is the same as Sarah's in that I value my regular clients greatly, and I can't understand why anyone would do otherwise. For this reason I also think it's very important to maintain the professional boundaries so that you don't get into an area where either party might think the usual rules don't apply. 

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Another regular has twice changed personal arrangements to spend extra time with me and did not cancel one booking when faced with an immediate probable personal tragedy. She planned not to tell me, but I found out despite her best efforts. I gave her the chance to back out of the intimacy and keep the money

 

Hats off to you - our resident sceptics will be on soon to disagree, but I think that is a really fine move.

 

 

 When everything eventually worked out fine and we made another booking, she produced a second bottle of wine to add to mine, saying "Today, we're gonna get drunk together and celebrate."

 

That's  more than a regular: that's a keeper!

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As a big fan of regulars, I feel I have to write this down, so please bear with me.

 

I am reflecting on a decision made yesterday to move on from a regular of 4 years standing (kneeling, lying down as well!).

 

The reasons behind my decision were:

 

  1. The increasing amount of “untruths” (to be kind) she would come out with. I was aware of this trait more or less since day1 and frankly I tried to ignore it originally. We have always got on well; the sex has been fantastic, inventive and fulfilling. I didn’t think I was under an illusion about the relationship – perhaps I was a bit naïve?
  2. The habit of moving bookings, sometimes hours, other times different days, often at short notice has become increasingly irksome. When I first met the lady, she worked in a parlour, timekeeping was generally OK. She went indie 6 months ago and seems to be struggling to manage bookings. I always book early, often 3-4 days in advance to fit in with work / home life, which she appreciates.

 

The catalyst (often a relatively small issue) was that she asked me to take photos for her AW gallery. I readily agreed and (in hindsight, perhaps naively) purchased a fairly cheap digital camera for the purpose, keeping it at hers. The day of the”shoot”, she texts me to postpone until the next week. The day before the rearranged day - yes cancelled again. No big deal methinks. Until on Monday evening, I go to her AW page to make a booking and there is a full gallery of photos .To be honest, I felt well let down as she hadn’t mentioned anyone else doing it. I was due to see her on Tuesday afternoon and having slept on it Monday night, I decided to call her to end it yesterday morning. I switched on my phone to get 2 texts – one at 05:30 cancelling that evening’s booking, another 10 minutes later asking me if I’d decided whether I would rebook this Thursday!!!

 

 

I made the call, which I found much easier to do than I had expected. I am comfortable about my decision. However, I may feel about this particular lady (great fondness, as it happens) this game we play is a commercially based transaction. We had both blurred the lines between client and provider and in the finish; I didn’t feel I was being treated with respect. Top – quality sex can’t mask that, for me at any rate.

 

So, awake and refreshed again, I intend to spend the next few days “interviewing” for a potential replacement.

 

Thanks for “listening”. I needed to get this off my chest.

 

I have nothing much to say but let this should be a lesson to you. WGs though not all will take advantage of you because they can or because you allow them to. You should not have bought the camera for her.

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Hats off to you - our resident sceptics will be on soon to disagree, but I think that is a really fine move.

 

 

That's  more than a regular: that's a keeper!

 

Thank you,

 

However, we all have to have the mind-set that, one day, things will change. She might retire, or find a new BF or GF (or both!) and move away.

 

Then you celebrate her future during your last booking and let her fledge with your blessing.

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As a big fan of regulars, I feel I have to write this down, so please bear with me.

 

I am reflecting on a decision made yesterday to move on from a regular of 4 years standing (kneeling, lying down as well!).

 

The reasons behind my decision were:

 

  1. The increasing amount of “untruths” (to be kind) she would come out with. I was aware of this trait more or less since day1 and frankly I tried to ignore it originally. We have always got on well; the sex has been fantastic, inventive and fulfilling. I didn’t think I was under an illusion about the relationship – perhaps I was a bit naïve?
  2. The habit of moving bookings, sometimes hours, other times different days, often at short notice has become increasingly irksome. When I first met the lady, she worked in a parlour, timekeeping was generally OK. She went indie 6 months ago and seems to be struggling to manage bookings. I always book early, often 3-4 days in advance to fit in with work / home life, which she appreciates.

 

The catalyst (often a relatively small issue) was that she asked me to take photos for her AW gallery. I readily agreed and (in hindsight, perhaps naively) purchased a fairly cheap digital camera for the purpose, keeping it at hers. The day of the”shoot”, she texts me to postpone until the next week. The day before the rearranged day - yes cancelled again. No big deal methinks. Until on Monday evening, I go to her AW page to make a booking and there is a full gallery of photos .To be honest, I felt well let down as she hadn’t mentioned anyone else doing it. I was due to see her on Tuesday afternoon and having slept on it Monday night, I decided to call her to end it yesterday morning. I switched on my phone to get 2 texts – one at 05:30 cancelling that evening’s booking, another 10 minutes later asking me if I’d decided whether I would rebook this Thursday!!!

 

 

I made the call, which I found much easier to do than I had expected. I am comfortable about my decision. However, I may feel about this particular lady (great fondness, as it happens) this game we play is a commercially based transaction. We had both blurred the lines between client and provider and in the finish; I didn’t feel I was being treated with respect. Top – quality sex can’t mask that, for me at any rate.

 

So, awake and refreshed again, I intend to spend the next few days “interviewing” for a potential replacement.

 

Thanks for “listening”. I needed to get this off my chest.

This is why you should keep it strictly business - pay - shag - go, period.

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Thanks to all for your comments. Looking back, I was naive and have learned a lesson. On a positive note, I have just got back home after a good day's punting. I was going to "interview" a suspect regular or 2 but decided to have some fun with a couple of ladies (separately) I haven't seen for a good while - just what I needed.

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Thanks to all for your comments. Looking back, I was naive and have learned a lesson. On a positive note, I have just got back home after a good day's punting. I was going to "interview" a suspect regular or 2 but decided to have some fun with a couple of ladies (separately) I haven't seen for a good while - just what I needed.

 

Good luck with your endeavours.

 

I certainly believe in establishing a regular escort, because when you click, it's a fulfilling and positive experience.

 

I had a similar "messed about,rescheduling regular" who became irregular and was let go. Excellent shag mind you.

 

My new regular will happily travel down to meet me anytime, and puts in the extra effort with keeping her bookings and times with excellent comms. I treat her with the upmost respect too, so it works both ways. Very passionate lady.

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As a big fan of regulars, I feel I have to write this down, so please bear with me.

 

I am reflecting on a decision made yesterday to move on from a regular of 4 years standing (kneeling, lying down as well!).

 

The reasons behind my decision were:

 

  1. The increasing amount of “untruths” (to be kind) she would come out with. I was aware of this trait more or less since day1 and frankly I tried to ignore it originally. We have always got on well; the sex has been fantastic, inventive and fulfilling. I didn’t think I was under an illusion about the relationship – perhaps I was a bit naïve?
  2. The habit of moving bookings, sometimes hours, other times different days, often at short notice has become increasingly irksome. When I first met the lady, she worked in a parlour, timekeeping was generally OK. She went indie 6 months ago and seems to be struggling to manage bookings. I always book early, often 3-4 days in advance to fit in with work / home life, which she appreciates.

 

The catalyst (often a relatively small issue) was that she asked me to take photos for her AW gallery. I readily agreed and (in hindsight, perhaps naively) purchased a fairly cheap digital camera for the purpose, keeping it at hers. The day of the”shoot”, she texts me to postpone until the next week. The day before the rearranged day - yes cancelled again. No big deal methinks. Until on Monday evening, I go to her AW page to make a booking and there is a full gallery of photos .To be honest, I felt well let down as she hadn’t mentioned anyone else doing it. I was due to see her on Tuesday afternoon and having slept on it Monday night, I decided to call her to end it yesterday morning. I switched on my phone to get 2 texts – one at 05:30 cancelling that evening’s booking, another 10 minutes later asking me if I’d decided whether I would rebook this Thursday!!!

 

 

I made the call, which I found much easier to do than I had expected. I am comfortable about my decision. However, I may feel about this particular lady (great fondness, as it happens) this game we play is a commercially based transaction. We had both blurred the lines between client and provider and in the finish; I didn’t feel I was being treated with respect. Top – quality sex can’t mask that, for me at any rate.

 

So, awake and refreshed again, I intend to spend the next few days “interviewing” for a potential replacement.

 

Thanks for “listening”. I needed to get this off my chest.

I book my punts at times that suit me, so if i kept having the times changed i would be going elsewhere pretty quickly. I hope you locate a good regular replacement. :)

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I book my punts at times that suit me, so if i kept having the times changed i would be going elsewhere pretty quickly. I hope you locate a good regular replacement. :)

That's the best way to be. Obviously something can happen unexpectedly so I'd give the benefit of the doubt at least once but if cancelling became in any way a regular thing, I'd be looking elsewhere.

When I book a wg I've seen a few times now, I tend to give her a couple of dates/times when I know I'll be available. I have to plan in advance, and I let her pick what is suitable for her. Therefore I'd be a bit pissed off if she kept trying to change a date she picked herself! So far she's never been as much as a minute late, so can't complain.

Sorry to hear about what happened willbred, it sounds like she was taking you for granted. Good luck with the interviewing ;)

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I made the call, which I found much easier to do than I had expected. 

 

It mustn't have been easy to make the call. Did you tell her the truth about why you were ditching her? I'd be interested to hear how she reacted, and what she said,

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I don't understand why you purchased a camera for her... did she ask you to do so?

 

Surely she earns enough money to buy her own camera.

 

I used to have several of my regulars take photos of me, and would put the best of them on my website.

 

You state that you 'decided on the Monday night to call her in the morning and end it.'  End what?  It wasn't a relationship.

 

I agree that it isn't nice to be messed around regarding appointments.  Regulars are important clients, however, I get the feeling that she wasn't feeling as comfortable with you since going indie.  I maybe wrong.

 

I also don't understand why she would ask if you had 'decided' whether you would re-book on the Thursday.  Had she mentioned anything about the Thursday beforehand?

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I'm a big fan of my regulars.  When I first started working my boss told me to look after the regular client because they are your 'bread and butter' clients.

 

 

Not just your trade you get that advice.Got the same in mine many moons back.I've helped them book their holidays,with their weddings,tech support,weird and wonderful daily stuff through to helping put them in the ground as it were at the end.

@Willbred.Just out of curiosity,when you say the increasing number of untruths what sort of stuff do you mean?Excuses for not taking bookings or are we talking full on Walter Mitty?

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I don't understand why you purchased a camera for her... did she ask you to do so?

 

Surely she earns enough money to buy her own camera.

 

I used to have several of my regulars take photos of me, and would put the best of them on my website.

 

You state that you 'decided on the Monday night to call her in the morning and end it.'  End what?  It wasn't a relationship.

 

I agree that it isn't nice to be messed around regarding appointments.  Regulars are important clients, however, I get the feeling that she wasn't feeling as comfortable with you since going indie.  I maybe wrong.

 

I also don't understand why she would ask if you had 'decided' whether you would re-book on the Thursday.  Had she mentioned anything about the Thursday beforehand?

No, Louisa, she hadn't asked me to purchase a camera. She had one but it was a geriatric and wasn't fit for purpose. From where I'm sitting now, I shouldn't have bought it, but then in hindsight, I shoudn't have done a lot of things...

Deciding to "end it" - agree, it wsn't a relationship...but obviously I (wrongly) thought it was.

There had been no mention of a Thursday option by either of us. as far as I was concerned the booking had been made for Tuesday.

As regards her feeling as comfortable with me since going indie, I don't think this is the case. There is, however a situation concerning the flat where she now works from, which I feel may be a factor and which I am not prepared to go into here.

Whilst I am a very experinced punter, I have blurred the lines and had feelings for this lady. I have let things go until the final straw has motivated me to take action.

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Not just your trade you get that advice.Got the same in mine many moons back.I've helped them book their holidays,with their weddings,tech support,weird and wonderful daily stuff through to helping put them in the ground as it were at the end.

@Willbred.Just out of curiosity,when you say the increasing number of untruths what sort of stuff do you mean?Excuses for not taking bookings or are we talking full on Walter Mitty?

Mark - don't want to go into too much detail, I'm sure you'll understand. Main examples were reasons for changing / cancelling bookings (which I had proof were not kosher). telling me things in her personal life which then don't stack up because she's forgotten what she told me originally. I actually believe she is a pathological,liar, can't help it. From what she has told me about her childhood / upbringing, that could explain it - that's assuming I'm being told the truth on that!!!

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I have had many regulars over the past, but when you feel it is time to move on, move on.

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