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Somekindagirl

Fellas...do You *turn Off* When You Read Negative Twitter/blog Submissions From Us?

55 posts in this topic

Hi all,my second thread, this one is a lot more light than my first one.

Before I continue, I will say, fellow girls, you are more than welcome to comment :) .

Quick background.

I have blogged, last year,my own blogspot, though deleted as found I was possibly sharing a bit to much *personal* info, like every day thoughts that could be viewed as not relevant to the fabulous world of escorting/punting.

Then I decided to set up a twitter account, I did not tweet sexy photos of me, but instead tweeted quotes from Rolling Stones songs.how erotic!well I thought so;-)

That was deactivated myself little while ago, and to be honest, I did not tweet a lot, some are made for tweeting when they have coughed, or eaten an apple, I just could not get into it to be honest.

However, I do still like to pop on to twitter,check out what others I followed/who followed me are up to, I am not a stalker..honest. :o

 

Okay, to stop wittering and get to my point, I have noticed that some escorts appear to revel in putting down other escorts via their twitter feed, I am wondering if it is a case of the "Emperor has no clothes", meaning, the escorts who appear to enjoy putting others down are not aware that while they of course will still be popular with their faithful, the masses can truly see that they are bordering on bullying others.

Generally accepted until a small voice pipes up in the midst and says, *hey...stop that...bully*.

I am using the Emperor Hans Anderson tale as a metaphor, hope I make sense.

I really dislike bullies, and while accept no one really knows the personal dynamics between people, when some of the dynamics are spread across social media, is this, fellas a turn off or do you think, "not my issue, as long as the girl in question is sexy, I  am fine"?

I read something a few days ago on twitter that was so awful and clearly cyber bullying I am astounded that most seem to let this go as the escort doing the bullying is popular.

 

I may get myself into trouble with this thread, I say this as ...oh, I can not say to much, but...what is taking place against another working gal is nasty, extremely vengeful and makes me wonder why only a very small handful of other working gals have spoken up in defense of this other girl.

I think it is because this other lady could be viewed as a a bit scary,not sure...well I find her so :o  :o  :o

All girls work in a different way, you do not have to like it, but you must let others just live their life.

Going out of your way to ruin them via social media, uploading *mistakes* they may have made is just extreme and beyond cruel.

 

So fellas, thoughts please, and girls..if you do have an issue with another girl do you see the benefit in trying to humiliate her via social media?

 

Bullying can happen in not only childhood, but also in adult hood,and while the bullied may not seem bothered, it can take its toll,this is what I find nasty about what the other girl is doing, they are ..it seems, going out of their way to literally ruin the working/personal life of this other girl.

Some may wonder why I care, well, I have always wanted to stick up for the person who seems the underdog, however in this case, the girl who is being bullied is finally standing up for herself, but still..makes me feel disappointed that girls can not just be a bit more...together.

 

Okay, enough of my mithering, thoughts all :)

 

 

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Good for you honey in standing up.  I absolutely hate that sort of bullying (fell foul of some it myself mega style supporting one of our lovely ladies here).  It's not really bullying though is it?  It's trying to take the competition out most of the time.

 

Hate it so much and hate even more those that run and support the bully (enablers and cowards, but then best support the bully so that she doesn't do it to them is usually the reason right?)..  Pathetic and cruel.

 

One good thing though is Kama, in my experience this sort of stuff normally blows up in the bullies face, then watch what her enablers do... :eek:

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Good for you honey in standing up.  I absolutely hate that sort of bullying (fell foul of some it myself mega style supporting one of our lovely ladies here).  It's not really bullying though is it?  It's trying to take the competition out most of the time.

 

Hate it so much and hate even more those that run and support the bully (enablers and cowards, but then best support the bully so that she doesn't do it to them is usually the reason right?)..  Pathetic and cruel.

 

One good thing though is Kama, in my experience this sort of stuff normally blows up in the bullies face, then watch what her enablers do... :eek:

Ahh...Holly, thanks for your words, I have since submitting this thread worried about it staying up,escorting world is very very very small as we all know!!

However I have been troubled(when am I not troubled by some social situation;-) by stuff I have read on social media and yes you are correct,possibly to prevent other girl making positive moves in her life.

Such negativity scares me, for all my *hunter boots* vibes, I am a pretty much a softie, and just feel bad when I witness/observe others going out of their way to put others down.

Enablers and cowards!

Yes,perfect descriptions!!

Edited by Somekindagirl

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Good for you honey in standing up.  I absolutely hate that sort of bullying (fell foul of some it myself mega style supporting one of our lovely ladies here).  It's not really bullying though is it?  It's trying to take the competition out most of the time.

 

Hate it so much and hate even more those that run and support the bully (enablers and cowards, but then best support the bully so that she doesn't do it to them is usually the reason right?)..  Pathetic and cruel.

 

One good thing though is Kama, in my experience this sort of stuff normally blows up in the bullies face, then watch what her enablers do... :eek:

Yes you are right, better to be on the side of *bully* than on the end of their wrath.

In regards to your own experience, I hope you do not mind me asking,did you have others sticking up for you, or where you left to just fend it off yourself?

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To give further detail.

I do not have an issue with anyone in escorting world, life is way to short for such tom -foolery.

I will not mention names as not right in my mind to do so, but had to give a general outline using an actual situation I have witnessed.

I am just seriously curious at what I have observed, it is about this situation in part, but more so, in general, the effects of social media and what it is used for by us girls who entertain.

To be honest I have butterflies in my stomach, I suspect as the particular social media *war* I have spoken off is between two well known girls, I am after all a very small fish in a rather large pond and worry of ramifications, but hey...one life, be as honest as you can be;-)and if not....bury your head in some soil somewhere and suck it up through a straw;-)

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The wg's putting other wg's down isnt restricted to social media,you see it on the forums as well,normally by people trying to appease the majority of the posters.As for punters,it seems to be the slightly more outspoken ladies who suffer the most which could be down to an attitude that women should know there place which does seem prevalent on some sites.Saying that,the web,as i've said before does seem to breed mysoginy.Quite a few boards i go on,it's always the women that get the abuse first,on one,nearly every female poster has been hounded off the board.
Cyber bullying is about as cowardly as it gets as theres rarely any consequences for the poster.Personally i wont post up anything i wouldnt say to the persons face and tend to tone myself down online.I tend to be slightly more abrasive in person

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To give further detail.

I do not have an issue with anyone in escorting world, life is way to short for such tom -foolery.

I will not mention names as not right in my mind to do so, but had to give a general outline using an actual situation I have witnessed.

I am just seriously curious at what I have observed, it is about this situation in part, but more so, in general, the effects of social media and what it is used for by us girls who entertain.

To be honest I have butterflies in my stomach, I suspect as the particular social media *war* I have spoken off is between two well known girls, I am after all a very small fish in a rather large pond and worry of ramifications, but hey...one life, be as honest as you can be;-)and if not....bury your head in some soil somewhere and suck it up through a straw;-)

Sometimes going in directly can just make things worse.I've found that humour can sometimes work better.Kind of piss taking their posts but not in a way they can really complain about

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The wg's putting other wg's down isnt restricted to social media,you see it on the forums as well,normally by people trying to appease the majority of the posters.As for punters,it seems to be the slightly more outspoken ladies who suffer the most which could be down to an attitude that women should know there place which does seem prevalent on some sites.Saying that,the web,as i've said before does seem to breed mysoginy.Quite a few boards i go on,it's always the women that get the abuse first,on one,nearly every female poster has been hounded off the board.

Cyber bullying is about as cowardly as it gets as theres rarely any consequences for the poster.Personally i wont post up anything i wouldnt say to the persons face and tend to tone myself down online.I tend to be slightly more abrasive in person

Evening Markdee.

Thank you for your reply here.

Cyber bullying is very cowardly,after all, everything you say is via your laptop/pc, and without body language/facial expression to possibly soften the blow, all one is left with is words, typed out in their boldest form.

It is interesting you speak of some of the other boards you visit and it is the females who face more issues first, and on one nearly all females are hounded off.

Why would a site welcome females but then go out of their way to hound them out?

Using humor to take the sting out of a post is the best idea a lot of the times I think, it can make the other think, " yeah..I am acting the plank".

Edited by Somekindagirl

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Evening Markdee.

Thank you for your reply here.

Cyber bullying is very cowardly,after all, everything you say is via your laptop/pc, and without body language/facial expression to possibly soften the blow, all one is left with is words, typed out in their boldest form.

It is interesting you speak of some of the other boards you visit and it is the females who face more issues first, and on one nearly all females are hounded off.

Why would a site welcome females but then go out of their way to hound them out?

Using humor to take the sting out of a post is the best idea a lot of the times I think, it can make the other think, " yeah..I am acting the plank".

It also leaves them unable to retalliate whilst others can see what an idiot they are being :)

That particular forum is actually a music one.It's not the board itself but the posters that seem to have the problem with female posters.Forums can seem to breed a pack mentality.whether its an extension of that old playground mentality of pulling pigtails i dont know,

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I loathe and abhor any kind of bullying :angry: , maybe because I was subjected to the more physical form of this when I was a school boy, many moons ago.

Cyber-bullying seem to be even more complex, and possibly even worse, than the physical kind  :( .

One of my former "Favourite Ladies" told me that she was "got at" so badly by other WG's ( or more likely, their controllers  :eek: ) that she found it quite impossible to find a long term apartment in which she could "work" in her home city.

More recently, I was delighted to see my current Favourite Lady ably and articulately defending herself against some very nasty comments about her from some of the ( I believe ) misogynistic, so-called "punters" on another forum, of the sort which could well be considered to be "cyber-bullying". Good on yer, Girl  :D

Personally, I tend to stay off sites like Twitter and Facebook, as I worry that "putting myself out there" is more likely to make me liable to Identity Fraud and the like  :( . I even believe that being a member of this forum has increased the number of un-solicited e-mails I get offering me various "services".

Thanks, but No Thanks to these, which I "junk", as I prefer to chose my SP's for myself.

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I think the internet is often seen as a 'playground' by many, many people who think they can say whatever they like. Same goes for text messaging and to a much lesser extent the telephone. 

Edited by Strawberry

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I've also seen this kind of catty behaviour on other ladies adultwork profiles would you believe!I was a victim of it myself not so long ago...I wasn't named but knew something nasty on a ladies profile was about me as we had had a very small exchange of words the week before and what she put was quite personal.

I just ignored it. I wouldn't dream of writing about another escort on a profile or my twitter account..it makes the person who wrote it look like a total dick in my opinion and I can imagine a few blokes would be put off with that kind of attitude.

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Yes you are right, better to be on the side of *bully* than on the end of their wrath.

In regards to your own experience, I hope you do not mind me asking,did you have others sticking up for you, or where you left to just fend it off yourself?

 

I wasn't the one being bullied to start with, just saw red when I saw what a clique of so called respected women were doing to another working girl and jumped in with my size nines and big gob.  Almost immediately I got it full force and it was a pretty unpleasant time.  I just ignored what they were trying to do to me and as I worked out in the open, their little outing games and calls to the press were pretty ineffective, the other lady (and others) however went through hell.   

 

This went on over about three years, then all of a sudden a super lovely brave girl decided to out the instigator on her own forum and slowly dozens of girls came out of the woodwork, all telling the same tale of nasty behind the scenes games and all scared of this woman and her friends.  Suddenly surprise surprise, the instigator found herself without friends because they distanced themselves from her or turned against her.  She retired and to my knowledge hasn't come back.

 

As Strawberry said people get brave when behind a computer and unfortunately because this business can be cut throat (and women in general can be bitchy), as unpleasant as it seems you will always have this sort of stuff going on.  Having said that it's nowhere near as bad as it was five or six years ago.

 

Best advice I can give is to do what the wonderful Shiraz did for me.  She just simply rang me and gave me a friendly ear.  I didn't know her at that time, she slagged nobody off or got involved but will be for ever grateful for her kindness.  Maybe this woman will welcome a simple call but I wouldn't get involved with the bitching or the said she said stuff.

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I've also seen this kind of catty behaviour on other ladies adultwork profiles would you believe!I was a victim of it myself not so long ago...I wasn't named but knew something nasty on a ladies profile was about me as we had had a very small exchange of words the week before and what she put was quite personal.

I just ignored it. I wouldn't dream of writing about another escort on a profile or my twitter account..it makes the person who wrote it look like a total dick in my opinion and I can imagine a few blokes would be put off with that kind of attitude.

 

For every one that's appalled by it Bibi there will be one that gets off on it or even encourage it.  Back in the day we called them Whorehags, but they can be worse than the girls sometimes.  If someone feels threatened enough by you to try and degrade you through their twitter account or something like that I'd take it as a compliment, means your probably more popular than they are :)

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You're following the wrong women! I have loads of escorts on my twitter feed and not seen anything bitchiness or putting others down. The tweets a mix of political, feminist, rants about work, funny stories, general observations, personal stuff and cats. 

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I also despise all forms of bullying. To me, cyber bullying is one of the most cowardly and yes it puts me right off the person/persons doing it.

I don't bother with twitter or facebook but have noticed it on some forums, where often the more regular posters can gang up an anyone disagreeing with their views.

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You're following the wrong women! I have loads of escorts on my twitter feed and not seen anything bitchiness or putting others down. The tweets a mix of political, feminist, rants about work, funny stories, general observations, personal stuff and cats. 

I agree. I havnt noticed much bullying of escorts online by other escorts. To be honest I havnt seen any bullying. I have seen people fall out but thats a different thing, takes two too tango.

 

Perhaps not many escorts speak up because they simply dont notice, after all reading a one off comment and thinking "oh dear someones fallen out with someone" doent mean that we all then view the conversation history and trawl through their twitter feeds to get the nitty gritty. I dont anyway unless its someone I personally know and even then only if I know something nasty is going on.

 

I had a few little rants recently on twitter about things that were just building up in my head, some to do with the way escorts are viewed or treated and some had no relation whatsoever to escorting. My followers seem to have shot up, perhaps because I actually had something to say rather than the usual information slotting and flirting. Someone asked me "ah but how many of them have you met". Probably not many but thats not really the issue. The issue is that there were some people who followed me because they found what I had to say interesting...that's good enough for me. 

 

Regarding posting on forums. I still feel that some women are very diplomatic in their postings. I would rather someone book me and have seen my real personality as thats the person they meet in the bedroom. Im outspoken, if a conversation starts up on the pillow I dont just lay there giggling and making pretty noises in agreement. I give my opinion on the topic brought up. I would rather have guys know this than have a cutesy persona online then them get a shock when I actually open my mouth and speak..but thats just me x

 

The fact is that if you see someone bullying someone then you should speak up. I would speak up and theres that old saying "it takes a community' well its the same for bullying. If you let people know that someone is being bullied then you dont have to stand alone because others will be speaking up with you. If its real bullying then you should let the community know who is doing what to whom as its bang out of order x

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I wasn't the one being bullied to start with, just saw red when I saw what a clique of so called respected women were doing to another working girl and jumped in with my size nines and big gob.  Almost immediately I got it full force and it was a pretty unpleasant time.  I just ignored what they were trying to do to me and as I worked out in the open, their little outing games and calls to the press were pretty ineffective, the other lady (and others) however went through hell.   

 

This went on over about three years, then all of a sudden a super lovely brave girl decided to out the instigator on her own forum and slowly dozens of girls came out of the woodwork, all telling the same tale of nasty behind the scenes games and all scared of this woman and her friends.  Suddenly surprise surprise, the instigator found herself without friends because they distanced themselves from her or turned against her.  She retired and to my knowledge hasn't come back.

 

As Strawberry said people get brave when behind a computer and unfortunately because this business can be cut throat (and women in general can be bitchy), as unpleasant as it seems you will always have this sort of stuff going on.  Having said that it's nowhere near as bad as it was five or six years ago.

 

Best advice I can give is to do what the wonderful Shiraz did for me.  She just simply rang me and gave me a friendly ear.  I didn't know her at that time, she slagged nobody off or got involved but will be for ever grateful for her kindness.  Maybe this woman will welcome a simple call but I wouldn't get involved with the bitching or the said she said stuff.

Holly is this me you are talking about?

 

Shiraz also gave me a good telling off talking to and told me to ignore what was happening and that the people involved had black souls and karma would eventually see them off.

 

I'm still here and they are (mostly) gone, so maybe that is the karma?

 

Twitter?  I would not piss on it.  Blogs?  Keep them private when you do this for a living.  I have a blog but only invited people can read it and I post away all sorts of daft stuff - latest blog being about my feet :)

 

I feel another one coming on about my website, but that is for certain eyes only and not for anyone who can use my blog against me as a tool to cause pain to my family.

 

I think - if someone is out to get at you and they have enough followers to do the dirty stuff then in this industry you are alone and basically fucked, but...  eventually they will get bored and go away and let you get on with your life.  Just don't rub your success (or more importantly your perceived success) in their faces

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I agree. I havnt noticed much bullying of escorts online by other escorts. To be honest I havnt seen any bullying. I have seen people fall out but thats a different thing, takes two too tango.

 

Perhaps not many escorts speak up because they simply dont notice, after all reading a one off comment and thinking "oh dear someones fallen out with someone" doent mean that we all then view the conversation history and trawl through their twitter feeds to get the nitty gritty. I dont anyway unless its someone I personally know and even then only if I know something nasty is going on.

 

I had a few little rants recently on twitter about things that were just building up in my head, some to do with the way escorts are viewed or treated and some had no relation whatsoever to escorting. My followers seem to have shot up, perhaps because I actually had something to say rather than the usual information slotting and flirting. Someone asked me "ah but how many of them have you met". Probably not many but thats not really the issue. The issue is that there were some people who followed me because they found what I had to say interesting...that's good enough for me. 

 

Regarding posting on forums. I still feel that some women are very diplomatic in their postings. I would rather someone book me and have seen my real personality as thats the person they meet in the bedroom. Im outspoken, if a conversation starts up on the pillow I dont just lay there giggling and making pretty noises in agreement. I give my opinion on the topic brought up. I would rather have guys know this than have a cutesy persona online then them get a shock when I actually open my mouth and speak..but thats just me x

 

The fact is that if you see someone bullying someone then you should speak up. I would speak up and theres that old saying "it takes a community' well its the same for bullying. If you let people know that someone is being bullied then you dont have to stand alone because others will be speaking up with you. If its real bullying then you should let the community know who is doing what to whom as its bang out of order x

Like you, I do not post on here to suck up to anyone and never have.  I just do not have it in me to be like that.  I have my own opinions about everything and find that very few agree with what I say, but hey - that is life.  

We all have our own 'take' on things and the world would be a poorer place if we all agreed about everything.   

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Holly is this me you are talking about?

 

Shiraz also gave me a good telling off talking to and told me to ignore what was happening and that the people involved had black souls and karma would eventually see them off.

 

I'm still here and they are (mostly) gone, so maybe that is the karma?

 

Twitter?  I would not piss on it.  Blogs?  Keep them private when you do this for a living.  I have a blog but only invited people can read it and I post away all sorts of daft stuff - latest blog being about my feet :)

 

I feel another one coming on about my website, but that is for certain eyes only and not for anyone who can use my blog against me as a tool to cause pain to my family.

 

I think - if someone is out to get at you and they have enough followers to do the dirty stuff then in this industry you are alone and basically fucked, but...  eventually they will get bored and go away and let you get on with your life.  Just don't rub your success (or more importantly your perceived success) in their faces

 

Wise words from a very wise lady. 

 

I was thinking about you yes, but there were others, like the young woman (not mentioning names) that had cancer and was called a fantasist/liar and allsorts of things across the forums whilst all the time she was genuinely very ill.  Another very beautiful woman burst on the scene 'and I mean stunning', wasn't long before that beauty was being ripped to bits in the private rooms (mind you all they could bitch about were her expensive tastes in handbags and hair extensions).

 

I disagree with your last statement though.  Its not like it was back in the day and there are some fantastic genuine women out there now that are not scared to out this sort of thing and nip it in the bud.  Nobody should be bullied just because they are maybe prettier, have smaller waist's, bigger boob's, better marketing skills or a larger client base.  It's bad enough having to cope with other stuff within the business without the women trying to hurt each other too.

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Like you, I do not post on here to suck up to anyone and never have.  I just do not have it in me to be like that.  I have my own opinions about everything and find that very few agree with what I say, but hey - that is life.  

We all have our own 'take' on things and the world would be a poorer place if we all agreed about everything.   

 

+1, Sarah.   :wub:  :D

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Im of an older generation than cant see the point of facebook, twitter, etc. My kids sometimes show me what their friends and members of our family, cousins, nephews and nieces, put on facebook, is nothing private anymore.

For me the jury is still out on mobiles, very good for punting but their use is so invasive. They should be banned from the workplace, my job involves teamwork and the amount of times you have to stop while someone answers their phone, frustrating, and its usually something that could have waited. And of course we have the phone equivalent of the mate who ties he shoe laces on the way into the pub or goes to the toilet to miss buying a round, at work when the heavy dirty jobs come round, out comes the phone while muggings cracks on. The age gap is really noticeable at meal and tea breaks, the 40+ guys are all sat round chatting while the apprentices are bent over their phones, not saying a word. The trains I use have quiet zones, phones, ipods, etc are banned, totally ignored. grrr. 

Im just waiting for evolution to kick in, you know how flat fish eyes have moved to just one side of the body, well what with everyone walking round bent over their phones, I think natural selection will favour peoples whose eyes migrate to the top of their foreheads while the rest will be killed off by walking under a bus, off a cliff, falling down an open manhole, crashing their car while texting.

How did people manage before mobiles.

Sorry for going off subject, slightly.

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Im of an older generation than cant see the point of facebook, twitter, etc. My kids sometimes show me what their friends and members of our family, cousins, nephews and nieces, put on facebook, is nothing private anymore.

For me the jury is still out on mobiles, very good for punting but their use is so invasive. They should be banned from the workplace, my job involves teamwork and the amount of times you have to stop while someone answers their phone, frustrating, and its usually something that could have waited. And of course we have the phone equivalent of the mate who ties he shoe laces on the way into the pub or goes to the toilet to miss buying a round, at work when the heavy dirty jobs come round, out comes the phone while muggings cracks on. The age gap is really noticeable at meal and tea breaks, the 40+ guys are all sat round chatting while the apprentices are bent over their phones, not saying a word. The trains I use have quiet zones, phones, ipods, etc are banned, totally ignored. grrr. 

Im just waiting for evolution to kick in, you know how flat fish eyes have moved to just one side of the body, well what with everyone walking round bent over their phones, I think natural selection will favour peoples whose eyes migrate to the top of their foreheads while the rest will be killed off by walking under a bus, off a cliff, falling down an open manhole, crashing their car while texting.

How did people manage before mobiles.

Sorry for going off subject, slightly.

 

I really can't see the point in it other than it keeps Jeremy Kyle in work.

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Twitter is OK when used in the right context. I don't use it personally neither do I use other forms of social media like Facebook etc.

What I will say is Twitter is used by quite a few on here for advertising, which is perfectly acceptable, but the same individuals use it for gloating and slagging people off and that's where it is less acceptable.

If not used carefully and constructively it can be a dangerous tool

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I really can't see the point in it other than it keeps Jeremy Kyle in work.

 

 

So there's no point at all then, Holly ?  ;)

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