tomenglish1958

Has Anyone Been Found Out?

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Has anyone been found out they are/were using WG's by their partners?, my wife has and although it's early day's I think she wants to leave me!

A warning to my fellow punters, be careful!

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How did she find out?

Do you really think he is going to dare log on for a while? 

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She couldn't possibly gave picked up his mobile or opened his laptop and saw this site or aw?

No chance that she had a tracker on his mobile.

I note that WGs sensibly don't wear perfume so that's not what gave him away.

He's surely not daft enough to have failed to delete aw hook up txts.

Or left a raincoat in his pocket.

Or could it have been the teeth marks round his cock.

No she would never look there.

He must talk in his sleep.

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Has anyone been found out they are/were using WG's by their partners?, my wife has and although it's early day's I think she wants to leave me!

A warning to my fellow punters, be careful!

Indeed, making it a top priority not to be caught has been my lifes work when in relationships. Not happened in 30 years but i wont ever be getting complacent.

 

I hope you can sort things out to your satisfaction.

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Has anyone been found out they are/were using WG's by their partners?, my wife has and although it's early day's I think she wants to leave me!

A warning to my fellow punters, be careful!

Sorry to hear this, hope you manage to work things out.

It's so easy to slip up. Thinking all the online and phone side of things are safe, but then only recently I found a hotel check out receipt in a coat pocket - which had been there for weeks. Not a crumpled up till receipt, but an A4 sheet of paper folded up! No damage done fortunately - none that I'm aware of anyway......

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Almost got caught yesterday... Parking ticket on windscreen from a city miles away... When to my mrs knowledge I was round corner at work. Would have been very hard to explain. Luckily I remembered it and took it off before mrs saw. Couldn't believe I had been that stupid.

So easy to slip up.

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Has anyone been found out they are/were using WG's by their partners?, my wife has and although it's early day's I think she wants to leave me!

A warning to my fellow punters, be careful!

 

If she's convinced youve been unfaithful and you still hold out some hope that she may not leave, whatever you do dont tell her you punt  :eek:  :eek:

 

Most women would be far more horrified to discover that you actually pay professionals for sex (WHAT...YOU MEAN YOU PAY PROSTITUTES :angry:  :blink:  :eek:  !!!!!!) rather than finding out that youve been 'having an affair'

Edited by BillGoldberg

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If she's convinced youve been unfaithful and you still hold out some hope that she may not leave, whatever you do dont tell her you punt  :eek:  :eek:

 

Most women would be far more horrified to discover that you actually pay professionals for sex (WHAT...YOU MEAN YOU PAY PROSTITUTES :angry:  :blink:  :eek:  !!!!!!) rather than finding out that youve been 'having an affair'

Really?

I would have thought it would have been the other way round.

You have entered a intimate relationship with another women... Or .. Your use paying for sex. It's just about the sex.

I think she would be more hurt that you are giving time and love to some other women. I think a lot of women could understand just the sex. Se might be more disgusted with you for visiting wg but more hurt about an intimate affair... I hope I am making sense.. Anyone agree?

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I would be horrified because the fact that my 'man' could have cold, unemotional sex with a stranger would tell me that he's, well, bestial. A dirty dog. Sorry but that is how I would look at it. I couldn't help but see him in a different light. The fact that I've done it myself is neither here nor there - that was business and as far as I'm concerned, in the past. If he was still having sex with me and I found out, I would feel insulted and probably want to kill him, would definitely throw him out. I'm trying to look at the situation through a wife's eyes...

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If he was still having sex with me and I found out, I would feel insulted and probably want to kill him, would definitely throw him out. I'm trying to look at the situation through a wife's eyes...

Fanny, let's assume he still wanted to, but for whatever reason the two of you didn't or couldn't have sex. Would you feel any different if you found out he'd been seeing prostitutes?

I'd be genuinely interested in a woman's perspective, not trying to create an argument....

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I would be horrified because the fact that my 'man' could have cold, unemotional sex with a stranger would tell me that he's, well, bestial. A dirty dog. Sorry but that is how I would look at it. I couldn't help but see him in a different light. The fact that I've done it myself is neither here nor there - that was business and as far as I'm concerned, in the past. If he was still having sex with me and I found out, I would feel insulted and probably want to kill him, would definitely throw him out. I'm trying to look at the situation through a wife's eyes...

 

This sort of self righteous hypocrisy and double standard no longer surprises me (assuming that you, fannyhill, are indeed a woman and an ex wg ?)

Edited by BillGoldberg

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It's not double standards at all Bill. I used to do escorting, some years ago and no longer do. If I had a partner and he told me he had seen prostitutes in the past, I would be ok about it but if he continued to see them while he was with me and I found out, he would not remain my partner. What in Heavens name is wrong with my reckoning?

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Fanny, let's assume he still wanted to, but for whatever reason the two of you didn't or couldn't have sex. Would you feel any different if you found out he'd been seeing prostitutes?

I'd be genuinely interested in a woman's perspective, not trying to create an argument....

Absolute honesty here? If I was with a man and we weren't having sex I would have to seriously rethink the relationship. I did not want sex with my ex and we shared almost nil life together so I sat down and thought it out, and long story, left. I am not a bad person and also not the type to live off a man and withhold sex. If you are not enjoying a sex life with your wife, then it is your decision to stay or leave, or discreetly use prostitutes. I would not judge you for that. I'm talking about the chaps who use WGs and have sex with their partners simultaneously - I don't agree with that, sorry. I believe in integrity within a relationship. I am entitled to my opinion surely?

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Do you guys feel very lucky or satisfied? Have a possible happy unsuspecting partner at home and countless wg's satisfying your every fantasy and need as often as you want. Or do you do this hobby because things are not as rosy at home?

 

I just wonder as a lot of guys who do this have long term partners or significant others in their life.

 

I don't have a significant other in my life, I suppose to busy messing around.

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A rather naive OP posting - of course men have been found out and of course they should be careful.

 

Interesting follow up comments tho and gives an insight into the complexity of couples living lives together.

 

I was with an SP for just the second time yesterday and we over ran to double time talking about relationships and if living together was easier/better than living alone.

 

She didn't agree with me that my way of seeing wonderful girls for sex was just easier than the worries of keeping a relationship going and having to cover up for habits not approved of by other half whatever that was.

 

Obviously huge amount missed by not being in happy fulfilled relationship inc family but not all cut out for that and if it broke down that would have destroyed me.

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This sort of self righteous hypocrisy and double standard no longer surprises me (assuming that you, fannyhill, are indeed a woman and an ex wg ?)

Not really. Are you seriously saying that just because a woman has escorted at some point in her life she is no longer entitled to a faithful partner? If you are saying that then no man who has ever punted so much as once in his life is entitled to a faithful partner either.

 

I do hope I read your post incorrectly and you were only referring to the rather over the top language that fanny used. 

 

Yes as escorts or ex escorts we should be understanding of why a guy would seek sex elsewhere and I dont agree with Fannys choice of descriptives but we are women too, do you really think all the words fanny used wouldnt be going through a womans head, ex escort or otherwise, if she found her partner cheating with anyone, prostitute or not?

 

To be honest I would probably be incredulous as well as hurt, others pay me for sex yet mine goes elsewhere and pays someone else. Its rather ironic I know but there you go, at least escorts or ex escorts are more aware of how likely a man is to punt, something that is probably classed as "virtually impossible" in the mind of a civvie lady unless faced with the truth.

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A rather naive OP posting - of course men have been found out and of course they should be careful.

 

Interesting follow up comments tho and gives an insight into the complexity of couples living lives together.

 

I was with an SP for just the second time yesterday and we over ran to double time talking about relationships and if living together was easier/better than living alone.

 

She didn't agree with me that my way of seeing wonderful girls for sex was just easier than the worries of keeping a relationship going and having to cover up for habits not approved of by other half whatever that was.

 

Obviously huge amount missed by not being in happy fulfilled relationship inc family but not all cut out for that and if it broke down that would have destroyed me.

I think you can get stuck in a rut regarding avoiding relationships. You get lazy, cant be bothered, start to think "who would have me" or "jeez I couldnt really let someone into my personal space as they would find out what a fuck up I really am", well, that sort of thing goes through my head anyway. 

 

I get you though, a lot of guys feel the same way as you or at least do for a time. I have seen several divorced guys recently who have no wish to get into another relationship as they have had their fingers burnt already and one guy who just stood there in my bedroom and said to me "but how do you even do it? How do you date at our age?" which rang so bloody true to me. 

 

When you are young you have a free and easy lifestyle, you go out, party, meet people so its sooo easy to meet someone new. Roll the clock forward 20 years and its "errr, errr, speed dating? Dating websites? err , errr" really, I just dont think its that easy unless you still have a huge friends group and socialise a lot.

 

Its exhausting just thinking about how you would even go about trying to meet someone nowadays. fuck that

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Fanny, let's assume he still wanted to, but for whatever reason the two of you didn't or couldn't have sex. Would you feel any different if you found out he'd been seeing prostitutes?

I'd be genuinely interested in a woman's perspective, not trying to create an argument....

 

Indeed my view on this, from my admittedly limited understanding of the female psyche ;), is that being caught out paying a WG would not be as disastrous has being caught in a full blown affair, after all being grown up about it the relationship with the WG can be rationalised as a transactional activity, there is no emotional content, the OH is unlikely to ever ask the question "do you LOVE her?" but when it comes to an affair there is the distinct possibility of emotional attachment, maybe it's my sociopathic tendencies showing through but that seems to be reasonable enough to me.

 

As for the OP I would suggest that the longer he doesn't login the more likely it is that his OH has not left him yet!

 

So my question to Chloe, Fanny and anyone else interested in responding is not would you react badly to finding out (that's a given) but which is worse a "civilian affair" or paying for it?

 

I'll admit now to being somewhat dissociated from the mental processes of the rest of humanity in did along time ago learn to completely compartmentalise my life, there I've said it so no one else has to :P

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"So my question to Chloe, Fanny and anyone else interested in responding is not would you react badly to finding out (that's a given) but which is worse a "civilian affair" or paying for it?"

 

 

I think that depends entirely on the woman who makes the discovery.  One can claim that it is better for the marriage to have anonymous sex with a wg rather than an affair, but I doubt that will cut much ice.  Even though there may no longer be conjugal relations within the marriage, I think it would take a very open-minded wife to accept that her husband is having his "bit on the side."  Discovery is not that difficult for a woman, no matter how clever we males may think we are.  They are far more perceptive and intuitive than we are and incredibly adept at picking up vibes.  Also, as noted by a couple of contributors above, we are sometimes amazingly bad at covering our tracks.

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As for Tomenglish, who started this conversation, good luck to you but don't be surprised if she walks.  Unless everything else in your relationship is absolutely perfect and you have an awfully good excuse, you could well be on your own soon.  You can console yourself, perhaps, with the awareness that you are just one among many in the same boat.  Ultimately, it comes down to a question of risk vs reward.

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"So my question to Chloe, Fanny and anyone else interested in responding is not would you react badly to finding out (that's a given) but which is worse a "civilian affair" or paying for it?"

 

 

I think that depends entirely on the woman who makes the discovery.  One can claim that it is better for the marriage to have anonymous sex with a wg rather than an affair, but I doubt that will cut much ice.  Even though there may no longer be conjugal relations within the marriage, I think it would take a very open-minded wife to accept that her husband is having his "bit on the side."  Discovery is not that difficult for a woman, no matter how clever we males may think we are.  They are far more perceptive and intuitive than we are and incredibly adept at picking up vibes.  Also, as noted by a couple of contributors above, we are sometimes amazingly bad at covering our tracks.

 

The implication of your statement is that more of us don't get found out because their OH doesn't want to know / face the truth!

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Now please remember I'm speaking from the point of view of the 'wronged' wife. Both scenarios would hurt me but ok, my man seeing a prostitute would affect me badly because I know what men get up to with WGs. For example, my friend found out her husband was frequenting bukkake parties and to say she was mortified is putting it mildly. From her point of view, she could not come to terms with the fact that hubby wanted to be with a bunch of blokes who enjoyed humiliating women by taking turns to cum all over their faces! What wife in her right mind can understand that? Would a man understand his wife going out and taking part in gang bangs? As an ex wg, I can barely get my head round this schoolboy fantasy and I find it quite repulsive, but hey ho, each to their own. Another lady I know discovered that her husband liked to eat shit and visited ladies who shat all over him. If I found my husband getting into all that stuff, frankly I'd run a mile.

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I would be horrified because the fact that my 'man' could have cold, unemotional sex with a stranger would tell me that he's, well, bestial. A dirty dog. Sorry but that is how I would look at it. I couldn't help but see him in a different light. The fact that I've done it myself is neither here nor there - that was business and as far as I'm concerned, in the past. If he was still having sex with me and I found out, I would feel insulted and probably want to kill him, would definitely throw him out. I'm trying to look at the situation through a wife's eyes...

It makes you a hypocrite in my view, so is very much here and there. When i punt its business as well. Its all cheating and lying if a partner isnt aware.

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It makes you a hypocrite in my view, so is very much here and there. When i punt its business as well. Its all cheating and lying if a partner isnt aware.

Er, you've missed one vital bit which makes your hypocrisy argument invalid: I didn't have a partner all the time I was escorting as I'm not comfortable with lying.

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