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How Many Of You Would Still Punt If Your Wife Put Out?

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Probably the main reason I punt is because my wife at age 42 has completely and utterly lost all interest in sex. What used to be a good sexual relationship has become just a day-to-day drudge and my sex life now is a completely autonomous affair. So really what choice do I have? Accept that my sex life lasted about 20 years of the (hopefully) 80 or so I'm on this planet for and spend the next 20 or so when I can still get it up giving myself elbow tendinitis? Or go to someone who also takes my money but at least has sex with me?

 

I'm assuming there's a good portion of married men on here. From what I've heard from my still somewhat limited experiences married men are quite common customers so it would follow. Would you do it if you had a wife/partner who still had a healthy interest in sex? And I don't mean those people still in the "loved-up" stage, I mean years down the line, you've seen bits of each other only doctors should look at, and there's kids around putting a general damper on anything about.

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There are certainly loads of married punters. I really don't know whether they are in the majority or not - no doubt the ladies on here can say.

 

I'm in much the same position as the OP. In my case sex was never a significant part of our relationship. If Auntie suddenly 'came to life' sexually I rather think I'd be a bit miffed as I'd probably have to miss out on the variety and excitement of punting.

 

Had Auntie felt able to maintain or even increase her initial sexual arousal during our otherwise very happy marriage then punting would not be a feature of my life now I suspect.

 

Uncle Pokey

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I wouldn't. Punting involves too much planning, effort and complication. I'd prefer a simpler (and cheaper) life if I could have it.

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I'm not married but my partner & I don't (as in can't) have sex.

I wouldn't punt if we still had a sexual relationship.

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Probably the main reason I punt is because my wife at age 42 has completely and utterly lost all interest in sex. What used to be a good sexual relationship has become just a day-to-day drudge and my sex life now is a completely autonomous affair. So really what choice do I have? Accept that my sex life lasted about 20 years of the (hopefully) 80 or so I'm on this planet for and spend the next 20 or so when I can still get it up giving myself elbow tendinitis? Or go to someone who also takes my money but at least has sex with me?

 

I'm assuming there's a good portion of married men on here. From what I've heard from my still somewhat limited experiences married men are quite common customers so it would follow. Would you do it if you had a wife/partner who still had a healthy interest in sex? And I don't mean those people still in the "loved-up" stage, I mean years down the line, you've seen bits of each other only doctors should look at, and there's kids around putting a general damper on anything about.

Never been married but have always punted whether in a relationship or not and that wont be changing. I require variety so being a selfish arsehole lie and cheat on a regular basis, its never had anything to do with not getting sex from a partner.

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This is a massive and deep subject.  The question lends itself to so many subsections.  Nothing in life is cut and dried is it?

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I wouldn't. Punting involves too much planning, effort and complication. I'd prefer a simpler (and cheaper) life if I could have it.

Reading my previous post, it sounds like I'm saying I have something against punting.

That's not true. Certainly, I would never have started unless I had to. Largely because of ignorance.

And I'm now getting to the age when many things are harder work than they used to be.

But I am enormously glad that I discovered the hobby, and I've had many of the best times of my life in its practice.

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I was going to say that if I were married it would depend on who she was putting it out with.

 

But I realised that would be to belittle Sarah's comment.

 

I do think in its basics it's a reasonably straightforward situation though.

 

Some married (or long established partnered) men have sex outside that relationship paid or otherwise and some wouldn't.

 

And some who do would not if their wife still participated in a sexual relationship at all or other than from a sense of duty.

 

I can see some of Sarah's subsections making themselves known but there still seems to be a yes or no divide that is at the heart of this question.

 

I am not, obviously, taking any account of the deep emotional background to anyone's  decision one way or the other. Just too deep for me.

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I punt for variety.That's all! Variety is supposed to be the spice of life, after all.

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Ha - I misread this - thought it was "if your wife put you out"

 

Well mine does "put out" horrid phrase though - and I still do it. Why? I just don't find our sex life, what there is of it - interesting enough to remain faithfull.

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My marriage ended four years ago but had become pretty much sexless long before that.  In the last six years of our relationship I doubt we had sex more than a dozen times.  Thing is it never occurred to me during that time to look for sex elsewhere, either paid for or unpaid.  I can't really explain why - I'm certainly no saint or white knight or even an unusually moral person.  Part of it was certainly that I don't think I could have handled the deceit.  But surely most married punters aren't doing ti just as a substitute for sex in their marriage, there must be other reasons.  As smiths said above the appeal of variety must be pretty strong too, even if you have a healthy sexual relationship with your wife/partner?

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My marriage ended four years ago but had become pretty much sexless long before that.  In the last six years of our relationship I doubt we had sex more than a dozen times.  Thing is it never occurred to me during that time to look for sex elsewhere, either paid for or unpaid.  I can't really explain why - I'm certainly no saint or white knight or even an unusually moral person.  Part of it was certainly that I don't think I could have handled the deceit.  But surely most married punters aren't doing ti just as a substitute for sex in their marriage, there must be other reasons.  As smiths said above the appeal of variety must be pretty strong too, even if you have a healthy sexual relationship with your wife/partner?

I think so too - I don't really believe married chaps who cite their other half not putting out as the reason - how convenient

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I think so too - I don't really believe married chaps who cite their other half not putting out as the reason - how convenient

Convenient, and true in some cases, not in others.

;)

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Ha - I misread this - thought it was "if your wife put you out"

Well mine does "put out" horrid phrase though - and I still do it. Why? I just don't find our sex life, what there is of it - interesting enough to remain faithfull.

+1

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The one thing you can rely on in this context is that the reasons that people give for punting can't be relied upon.

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This is a massive and deep subject.  The question lends itself to so many subsections.  Nothing in life is cut and dried is it?

 

This is very important, I think many of us WG do not see ourselves as wife substitutes but as women who offer experiences that are not common to most women. However I am also aware that there are some WG who do supply some sort of substitution service. 

 

I would hope that even the most happily married man enjoying a full sexual life would still find something different and congenial in me. Hopefully something he could take home to his wife and encourage her with. 

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Wives make excuses not to have sex.  They are many and varied.  I have heard some of them - especially the medical ones which don;t hold water, but seem to satisfy the guy sitting with me.

 

Oh dear...........  if some wives told their husbands the truth in the first place.................

 

"I don't want to kiss you because you have bad breath.. you never brush your teeth..  you hardly ever shower, you fart in my face when you get up to leave the room..  you get into bed stinking of BO and expect me to suck your pissy cock?  I wash your underpants - I see the skid marks.." 

 

I could go on but it's just not nice is it?

Instead they say they can't do this any more and invent some nonsensical medical clap trap.

 

Some wives get to a certain age and feel unattractive.  They have problems with weight and can't seem to lose it.  They don't feel sexy any more.  They see their husband looking at girls and it destroys their self confidence and it makes them even more entrenched in a self propagated sexless life.

 

Some wives just don't fancy their bloke any more, and some wives just don't feel like having sex now.

 

Some men are so horrible to their partners - why should she give it up just because he wants it?

 

Some wives are equally if not more horrible.............  either way there is usually a reason lost in the passing of time.....

 

Communication is a wonderful thing and could be the answer :)

 

If not there's always a 'paid for' fuck available, and that is another thing - it's too easy to get the paid for shag and in some cases easier than sorting your marriage out.

 

Sorry folks x

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Wives make excuses not to have sex.  They are many and varied.  I have heard some of them - especially the medical ones which don;t hold water, but seem to satisfy the guy sitting with me.

 

Oh dear...........  if some wives told their husbands the truth in the first place.................

 

"I don't want to kiss you because you have bad breath.. you never brush your teeth..  you hardly ever shower, you fart in my face when you get up to leave the room..  you get into bed stinking of BO and expect me to suck your pissy cock?  I wash your underpants - I see the skid marks.." 

 

I could go on but it's just not nice is it?

Instead they say they can't do this any more and invent some nonsensical medical clap trap.

 

Some wives get to a certain age and feel unattractive.  They have problems with weight and can't seem to lose it.  They don't feel sexy any more.  They see their husband looking at girls and it destroys their self confidence and it makes them even more entrenched in a self propagated sexless life.

 

Some wives just don't fancy their bloke any more, and some wives just don't feel like having sex now.

 

Some men are so horrible to their partners - why should she give it up just because he wants it?

 

Some wives are equally if not more horrible.............  either way there is usually a reason lost in the passing of time.....

 

Communication is a wonderful thing and could be the answer :)

 

If not there's always a 'paid for' fuck available, and that is another thing - it's too easy to get the paid for shag and in some cases easier than sorting your marriage out.

 

Sorry folks x

 

 

Fair enough Sarah but that's all rather one-sided isn't it?  Many reasons why sex may have come to a stop in a marriage but basically in the majority of cases it comes down to being the man's fault?

Edited by bean57
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Wives make excuses not to have sex.  They are many and varied.  I have heard some of them - especially the medical ones which don;t hold water, but seem to satisfy the guy sitting with me.

 

Oh dear...........  if some wives told their husbands the truth in the first place.................

 

"I don't want to kiss you because you have bad breath.. you never brush your teeth..  you hardly ever shower, you fart in my face when you get up to leave the room..  you get into bed stinking of BO and expect me to suck your pissy cock?  I wash your underpants - I see the skid marks.." 

 

I could go on but it's just not nice is it?

Instead they say they can't do this any more and invent some nonsensical medical clap trap.

 

Some wives get to a certain age and feel unattractive.  They have problems with weight and can't seem to lose it.  They don't feel sexy any more.  They see their husband looking at girls and it destroys their self confidence and it makes them even more entrenched in a self propagated sexless life.

 

Some wives just don't fancy their bloke any more, and some wives just don't feel like having sex now.

 

Some men are so horrible to their partners - why should she give it up just because he wants it?

 

Some wives are equally if not more horrible.............  either way there is usually a reason lost in the passing of time.....

 

Communication is a wonderful thing and could be the answer :)

 

If not there's always a 'paid for' fuck available, and that is another thing - it's too easy to get the paid for shag and in some cases easier than sorting your marriage out.

 

Sorry folks x

Excellent, articulate post. A lot of insight there, which would be supported with a visit over the fence to Mumsnet. :)

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Fair enough Sarah but that's all rather one-sided isn't it?  Many reasons why sex may have come to a stop in a marriage but basically in the majority of cases it comes down to being the man's fault?

I think you misread the post slightly; she did say it can be the woman who makes up BS excuses because she may simply feel unattractive and instead of communicating honestly she attributes it to something else. I think the point she was making is that communication and open honestly can make all the difference to a healthy sex life (forgive me if I interpreted wrong).

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Fair enough Sarah but that's all rather one-sided isn't it?  Many reasons why sex may have come to a stop in a marriage but basically in the majority of cases it comes down to being the man's fault?

What I posted was from a woman's point of view - a woman who does not want to have sex any more.  I am sure there is a man's view but then I am not a man.. or at least I wasn't when I last looked :)  Like I said this is a deep subject and I just opened up Pandora's box..  or showed you the reason why it is locked x

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What I posted was from a woman's point of view - a woman who does not want to have sex any more.  I am sure there is a man's view but then I am not a man.. or at least I wasn't when I last looked :)  Like I said this is a deep subject and I just opened up Pandora's box..  or showed you the reason why it is locked x

True.  I was probably just being a bit touchy

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True.  I was probably just being a bit touchy

It's good to debate things.  How else would we learn?

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If women knew how many men decide to get sex elsewhere if she stops putting out, or if she doesn't bother to initiate sex or explore their sexuality or make any effort to be loving then they would probably try a bit harder. 

 

Harsh, but true. 

 

Likewise, I know many women have been unfaithful for similar reasons, except women rarely pay for sex because there are plenty of willing men out there who will do it for free!

 

Sarah is right, it's all about communication in the relationship. 

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If women knew how many men decide to get sex elsewhere if she stops putting out, or if she doesn't bother to initiate sex or explore their sexuality or make any effort to be loving then they would probably try a bit harder. 

 

Harsh, but true. 

 

Likewise, I know many women have been unfaithful for similar reasons, except women rarely pay for sex because there are plenty of willing men out there who will do it for free!

 

Sarah is right, it's all about communication in the relationship. 

 

 

true, but in many a relationship there comes a point where communication has broken down beyond repair.  In such cases sex is a side issue.  Let's face it, it's not a deal breaker in a relationship whether you're male or female.  It's a physical urge - a true relationship goes much deeper than that alone

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