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Sarah Summers

Could Prostitution Ever Be A Viable Provider In A Stable Society

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If the rules of engagement were relaxed and we were encouraged to think that sex is a healthy part of life and not something restricted to individuals bound together  by marriage, would this help people?

 

When a man who no longer has sex with his wife  and is left wondering is this what it's going to be like for ever,  visits a prostitute for the first time and has a great time, and walks away unscathed, that is a sort of an epiphany for him.  I know of men who have told me that to visit ladies like me is a life saver for them and they had no idea what it was like and now wish they had done this sooner.

 

Too many people feel they are morally tied to this other person because they made marriage vows and feel like they are letting the other person down by having sex with a service provider.  

If the way society looks at sex was a little more relaxed, then maybe - just maybe the tension that exists between couples would be a little less and the man might feel less inclined to visit someone like me, or - the taboo of doing this would be less of a hurdle a mental boundary to cross?

 

I'm thinking of changing the wording on my profile to make it clearer to the punter that this is an experience only.

Edited by Sarah Summers

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If the rules of engagement were relaxed and we were encouraged to think that sex is a healthy part of life and not something restricted to individuals bound together  by marriage, would this help people?

 

When a man who no longer has sex with his wife  and is left wondering is this what it's going to be like for ever,  visits a prostitute for the first time and has a great time, and walks away unscathed, that is a sort of an epiphany for him.  I know of men who have told me that to visit ladies like me is a life saver for them and they had no idea what it was like and now wish they had done this sooner.

 

Too many people feel they are morally tied to this other person because they made marriage vows and feel like they are letting the other person down by having sex with a service provider.  

If the way society looks at sex was a little more relaxed, then maybe - just maybe the tension that exists between couples would be a little less and the man might feel less inclined to visit someone like me, or - the taboo of doing this would be less of a hurdle a mental boundary to cross?

 

I'm thinking of changing the wording on my profile to make it clearer to the punter that this is an experience only.

Never in this society as it is because the powers that be have a fixed and unmoveable view that our society is about a couple committed to each other some of whom have kids, get jobs, take out a mortgage and behave themselves being good citizens, thus contributing finanically to society and doing as they are told. WGs give men especially another no strings option, that goes down like a warm bowl of sick to the powers that be that include the church and other moralists. Of course throughout our history its always been a case of do as i say, not as i do, as some of these moralists were doing as they wished with whom they wished, surpreme hypocrites.

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Never in this society as it is because the powers that be have a fixed and unmoveable view that our society is about a couple committed to each other some of whom have kids, get jobs, take out a mortgage and behave themselves being good citizens, thus contributing finanically to society and doing as they are told. WGs give men especially another no strings option, that goes down like a warm bowl of sick to the powers that be that include the church and other moralists. Of course throughout our history its always been a case of do as i say, not as i do, as some of these moralists were doing as they wished with whom they wished, surpreme hypocrites.

I posted this because I listened to something on the radio this morning, and it seemed like a brilliant concept, that if society changed it's 'not so much rules, but it's way of looking at those rules', then future generations could live with less guilt attached to sex.

 

People who are abused sexually as children grow up damaged and have massive sexual hang-ups.  Some of them go on to repeat the abuse they experienced.  I wonder if it is because sex is considered something secret, and therefore used as a power tool by damaged people, to hurt others through learned behaviour?  If sex was seen as a fun activity instead of something we do behind closed doors, could we break down the barrier of 'taboo'

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I'm thinking of changing the wording on my profile to make it clearer to the punter that this is an experience only.

To answer the question posed in the thread title, yes - in an ideal world it could.  But it would require such a massive change in mind shift in our current society that I can't see it ever happening.  For a start you would have to separate the physical act from the emotional side and that's not something many people can readily do - which is presumably why you are thinking of making the above change to your profile.

 

With regard to marriage there is also the commonly held belief that once you are married you should somehow flick a mental switch and lose all interest in the opposite sex other than your partner.  It's absurd of course.  Being attracted to other people is a natural urge in all of us.  You don't lose it just because you marry, even though you may not act on it.  I was married for over 20 years and never played away from home.  Doesn't mean I didn't "fancy" other women and even enjoy a tiny bit of flirtatious banter now and again.  In my wife's eyes that would have been a heinous crime, a betrayal even.

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To answer the question posed in the thread title, yes - in an ideal world it could.  But it would require such a massive change in mind shift in our current society that I can't see it ever happening.  For a start you would have to separate the physical act from the emotional side and that's not something many people can readily do - which is presumably why you are thinking of making the above change to your profile.

 

With regard to marriage there is also the commonly held belief that once you are married you should somehow flick a mental switch and lose all interest in the opposite sex other than your partner.  It's absurd of course.  Being attracted to other people is a natural urge in all of us.  You don't lose it just because you marry, even though you may not act on it.  I was married for over 20 years and never played away from home.  Doesn't mean I didn't "fancy" other women and even enjoy a tiny bit of flirtatious banter now and again.  In my wife's eyes that would have been a heinous crime, a betrayal even.

The last thing I want to do is mislead the punter.  I think this happens because of the way we view sex.  It's secret and unless it is done in the marital bed with the wife it is dirty.  People need to realise sex is natural and only dirty in the mind :)

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The scandinavian nations are traditionally far more open about sex than the uk but look what has happened there. I dont think its lack of openness about sex, its the assumptions that go with sex for money. Until trafficking is stamped out we will always be associated with it in general society regardless of how open they become about sex in general.

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Sex is such a wonderful thing especially when you are doing it with a willing adventurous partner.  The words that surround the subject of sex are a complete opposite !  Anxiety, unfaithfulness, cheating, lying, unreliable - now that's another.  If a man has sex with someone like me is that a divorce-able offence  It shouldn't be because he is not exactly being unfaithful is he???

 

LOL

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 It's possible , and it would have to start in schools  . To educate that sex can be fun , not just for reproduction and not teach any religion whatsoever . Big hill to climb though .

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 It's possible , and it would have to start in schools  . To educate that sex can be fun , not just for reproduction and not teach any religion whatsoever . Big hill to climb though .

Indeed, and at home with parents also being more open about sex. Is it going to happen anytime soon, sadly not in my view. Too many people have been brought up to view sex as dirty and prositution as disgusting and wrong.

 

I have always looked to find out things for myself and think for myself, its why at 17 i was sleazing around Soho and then punting at 19.

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I will throw in my two pence worth here;  you may be surprised but there are (or were) tribes where childred see or saw there parents making love openly although I have no idea where.  The Japanese have a different view of sex - that it something natural and in some instances they can be far more open than westerners.  In bygone days in Japan women feeling lonely and the urge would dress up hoping for a roll in the hay with a passing stranger!   I don't know if I can suggest a book here but 'Pink Samurai' by Nicolas Bornoff is a good read (not for the faint-hearted in parts the bit on SDM is to me vile).  A problem in many western countries is the teaching or meddling of the Church, while prostitution or fornification may be considered immoral, depraved or whatever such views will not stop it happening.

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...

 

Too many people feel they are morally tied to this other person because they made marriage vows and feel like they are letting the other person down by having sex with a service provider.  

If the way society looks at sex was a little more relaxed, then maybe - just maybe the tension that exists between couples would be a little less and the man might feel less inclined to visit someone like me, or - the taboo of doing this would be less of a hurdle a mental boundary to cross?

 

...

 

It might just become an acceptable paid-for service if it ever came down to the same price as a physio or hairdresser or personal trainer, but while the price is about 5 times as high, I suspect many wives would have serious objections on the financial side, not just the moral one.

Edited by Barry Cade
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It might just become an acceptable paid-for service if it ever came down to the same price as a physio or hairdresser or personal trainer, but while the price is about 5 times as high, I suspect many wives would have serious objections on the financial side, not just the moral one.

Leaving the moral side out of it - the cost of a punt is a subject all of it's own!

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I will throw in my two pence worth here;  you may be surprised but there are (or were) tribes where childred see or saw there parents making love openly although I have no idea where.  The Japanese have a different view of sex - that it something natural and in some instances they can be far more open than westerners.  In bygone days in Japan women feeling lonely and the urge would dress up hoping for a roll in the hay with a passing stranger!   I don't know if I can suggest a book here but 'Pink Samurai' by Nicolas Bornoff is a good read (not for the faint-hearted in parts the bit on SDM is to me vile).  A problem in many western countries is the teaching or meddling of the Church, while prostitution or fornification may be considered immoral, depraved or whatever such views will not stop it happening.

I think you hit the nail on the head where the Church comes into the equation.  marriage is a man made institution after all..   created when the life expectancy of the average adult was about 45.  It is around this age that a lot of men seek the services of a prostitute so what does that tell you?

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We need to understand that sex is used for different purposes and means a number of things, What would be so nice if paid recreational sex could simply be seen as paid recreational sex. Unfortunately sex is so loaded with diverse political, spiritual and social meanings and taboos we are constantly burdened by the fears and hysteria of others. 

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Leaving the moral side out of it - the cost of a punt is a subject all of it's own!

 

Maybe we should have a thread about that some time? :lol:

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Maybe we should have a thread about that some time? :lol:

That would be a novelty for sure  :P

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I'd like to say these issues are not just for married men of course.

 

I think as others have said, if you could simple seperate out the physical and emotional there may be a possibility of taking away all the other aspects of sex that load it with compleixity, morality, religion, trust, equality issues and so forth. However, it seems unrealistic in general terms this is possible. I must admit 12 months ago I thought you could, but the reality seems to me sexual contact changes emotions and flows from that the other issues mentioned.

 

Taking a step back, does anyone believe this world actually attracts what many would consider as "outsiders" from society? So the client who feels his marriage isn't all he would wish? The shy client? The lady who works for financial hardship issues? Yet there are people in these catergories who don't move fully into this world, so I'm left to wonder what is the driving factor to make some decide to cross and others not? I think those who cross into this world have a more liberal view of it and the issues on sexuality, whether these be right or wrong. However, perhaps if we could define what makes some cross into this world (and others not) then we may be able to focus on how you take that to create a more liberal society in regards to views on sex and towards what Sarah suggests in her OP?

 

What made me take the step was really looking at the arguments closely and how that fitted in with how I felt and what logic I had. So for example, the sexual feeling and hitting a low was not enough. I wasn't religious, so this was not an issue for me. I looked at equality issues, yet ultimately felt if a lady is of free choice this really wasn't a factor. Was I hurting myself or another person, again my answer was no. So ultimately I felt no harm would come from my action, only positives as long as my choices were sensible.

 

I do wonder why others took the step though?

Edited by nntt

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I got into it to fulfil a physical need.  Sexless marriage ended, spent several more years without sex (other than the self inflicted variety) And couldn't manage any longer without the human warmth that should go with sex - plus I missed the feel of a woman's naked skin against my own.

 

I do sometimes wonder though what the balance really is with me between paying purely for sex and paying for female company

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I'm left to wonder what is the driving factor to make some decide to cross and others not?

 

There are so many plausible reasons depending on who and where you are and what one's financial/social position might be.  Some may find it hard to believe but there are women in the world who have no choice - sell yourself or suffer!   A few paragraphs from 'Global Woman' give a good insight into the problems many women face both in the sex industry and elsewhere. 

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Would love to run seminars for married ladies........listen ladies you have a fab guy a fab Father for your kids you love each other, you wont have sex with him anymore but you still receive al the trinkets so just chill out and send him on his way for an hour with his milk and sandwiches. 

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Would love to run seminars for married ladies........listen ladies you have a fab guy a fab Father for your kids you love each other, you wont have sex with him anymore but you still receive al the trinkets so just chill out and send him on his way for an hour with his milk and sandwiches.

If only mine was like that. I ask lots of times and when you work out how long this goes on for if she would have let me have it it would have been over with way before the pestering would have lol. 30 mins of moaning for 5 mins action and all done roll over and go to sleep lol.

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There are so many plausible reasons depending on who and where you are and what one's financial/social position might be.  Some may find it hard to believe but there are women in the world who have no choice - sell yourself or suffer!   A few paragraphs from 'Global Woman' give a good insight into the problems many women face both in the sex industry and elsewhere. 

 

Check the privilege, I know how the Devadasi were described as immoral "prostitutes" by the Raj, and so our temples, lands and trust funds were confiscated until Devadasi women and girls were compelled to sell themselves for a bowl of rice. 

 

Economic systems that reduce women and girls to selling sex for survival have little to say about sex work but are an awful commentary on the failure of economic systems to allow women and girls in emerging economies to have sustainable livelihoods.

 

The problem is not the sex industry but unfair trade. 

 

If the only thing between me and my children starving is sucking some UN soldier's cock then I will do it without hesitation. But do not try and pretend this is a sex work issue when European companies and governments are doing business with the various militias to acquire raw materials at the lowest prices.

 

I come from a country that can pay for nuclear weapons but it cannot ensure female literacy in my home village nor a safe birth. 

 

Therefore I am going to sell sex in the UK until as a woman, not a government, I can provide these things for my village, and frankly I can put up with all the nonsense I experience because I know that by doing this I will make a difference. 

 

Do not make an issue of us selling sex to survive, make any issue of why we are in such poverty !

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Check the privilege, I know how the Devadasi were described as immoral "prostitutes" by the Raj, and so our temples, lands and trust funds were confiscated until Devadasi women and girls were compelled to sell themselves for a bowl of rice. 

 

Economic systems that reduce women and girls to selling sex for survival have little to say about sex work but are an awful commentary on the failure of economic systems to allow women and girls in emerging economies to have sustainable livelihoods.

 

The problem is not the sex industry but unfair trade. 

 

If the only thing between me and my children starving is sucking some UN soldier's cock then I will do it without hesitation. But do not try and pretend this is a sex work issue when European companies and governments are doing business with the various militias to acquire raw materials at the lowest prices.

 

I come from a country that can pay for nuclear weapons but it cannot ensure female literacy in my home village nor a safe birth. 

 

Therefore I am going to sell sex in the UK until as a woman, not a government, I can provide these things for my village, and frankly I can put up with all the nonsense I experience because I know that by doing this I will make a difference. 

 

Do not make an issue of us selling sex to survive, make any issue of why we are in such poverty !

 

I hope no one is going to get silly 

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Reading the last few posts doesn't seem to answer the questions in my mind, however.

 

Of course financial hardship can be a major factor in a lady deciding to escort, yet all ladies in financial difficulty don't turn to the world of escorting. In the same way not all married men whose physical relationship has gone look towards an escort, I'm sure. Or dare I say every virgin doesn't look to visit an escort.

 

So while we can all have major contributing factors, I am still left to question what factor or series of factors causes some to cross into the world and some not? Is there a set of common values or experiences that trigger it? Perhaps if you can answer that then you can tackle the wider issue.

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"Taking a step back, does anyone believe this world actually attracts what many would consider as "outsiders" from society?"

 

Yes, in many cases. If you met me you'd probably think I was a regular guy. However, get to know me better and I am very unconventional in many ways. I have never been interested in doing the 'normal' things such as marriage. What is normal to people in 2013 might seem bizarre to people in 2113. The same way we sometimes shake our heads at how previous generations lived.

To me, life is an adventure and that includes sex with a wide variety of extraordinary women who you would simply not meet in normal life. Hence punting.

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