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PeterHoping44

Is It Time To Retire?

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Despite one or two good punts, I just don't really get the full enjoyment from it due to a wide number of issues like ED, stress and other worries. Maybe I'm not attracted to people you pay for companionship. I feel I am attracted to women, but it's too awkward due to my disability and lack of money to keep seeing them and 9 times out of 10, I don't think I click with certain people and we've all been unfairly conned or mislead at some stage. I think this is partially why I fail at every turn. The only reason I do it is because I am unlucky with women, for actual dating. I feel like a dork. My esteem must be low.

 

I recently caught genital warts. I suppose there's worse things I could have ended up with, but it's still annoying. I'm gonna have to get treatment. I think the reason I caught it is because of my foreskin being too bunched up, as you know I'd never engage in bareback. My doctor seems unwilling to help. All he did was prescribe me Viagra and said to await a letter from the GUM clinic. I hear they have to use nitrogen to freeze away the warts, or there are just slower methods they can try.

 

The thing that bugs me though is that when I go on relationship type sites for advice about sex or other lady issues, many of the users replying in the threads are just being sarcastic and rude. Half of them may be young, so it's partly why they are that way. It's like they read a few lines and just think what the hell is this crap? It's hard to get an image of what problems Person A has from Person G when you don't know them personally.

 

I try not to let things get to me. But I feel I could have done better punting wise if I had waited. I also opened my mouth too much to my support workers about everyone I slept with. They didn't need to know about me bringing women to my flat from the beginning. Part of the issue with autism is blurting out your feelings into the open because it's like therapy to 'reveal all' when it's on your mind and I think an ordinary person could learn to stay hush on the matter. That just gets you tagged by the higher ups. Because they don't believe it's legal to stay in their housing and have people over. Although I feel more in my zone at home. If you get my meaning. Elsewhere, I felt kind of desperate so it made me feel unhappy and lowered my sex drive.

 

What do you think? Is it game on, or game over?

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Peter

I can't offer too much in the way of advice, but I will offer this. If you are not enjoying something, especially something that costs a lot of money then you seriously need to consider taking a break at the very least. A 10% success rate on punts is not good and considering how crap I feel after a bad punt, I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now.

I would take that break. Sort the medical issues out (warts), address the things that cause you stress and see how the ED progresses (you may be amazed what a few months of not beating yourself up about poor performance might do to your self esteem. Once that lot is straight in your mind, evaluate what you want in life. If it is a long term relationship then punting won't give you that. In fact it will probably make it harder to achieve. If it's short term, guilt free relief, then contemplate a return, but tread carefully. Perhaps a return to one of the successful 10% SPs might be in order.

What ever you decide, best wishes from me.

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You may have to take an enforced break anyway Peter because it's advisable to get the warts sorted before you see anyone else.

 

Hugs Holly x

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You're not the only one. I'm considering either packing it [escorting] in or just taking the trip to Edinburgh to visit a Sauna. Getting a booking for me is getting to be more trouble than it's worth.

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Take a nice long break. Then if you still feel like punting put plenty of effort into research. Don't just punt for the sake of it

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Well, one thing that bugs me currently is that I fancy my main key support worker. I doubt she loves me in that way, but she does care about me. You know, a "real" woman is way better than a pretend partner, no matter whether you are granted a great service or not. Not that I mean that in a negative way, here, but I meant that with a girlfriend, this means you have a proper relation with that person. Unfortunately, there are rules about dating support workers, so their job is to help me get into social groups to meet people, which is okay. That sucks though if you have a thing for someone assigned to help you and you know nothing else will come of that. You cannot even send them friend requests on social networking sites like Facebook or Twitter. 

 

Of course I can see why that law is in place, but it's still annoying. I was already (most likely) kept away from this other woman for the same reason. To this day, they maintain I'll be working with her again at some point, despite me asking her out ages ago, but it's never happened. They gave me one shift with her at a party at the place where I and others have support, probably just because of all the people present, and when I asked her about going to Real Foods with me to buy health drinks, she dissuaded me from going there. My mother thinks she just didn't want to go too far with me, so she made an excuse to stay nearer to Number 6 that evening. And since I asked her out months ago, I've never had a one to one support shift with her again for some reason, so I guess it does not pay to open your mouth about certain things. I already know they're off limits for relationships, so it's pointless to try my luck anymore. They'll just grass you up to their superiors anyway. I think they are all snooty where I live. I've got no chance with a support person whatsoever! :(

 

Even if they were to one day leave the job too, I think that rule still would apply because they draw a line under what they are / were to you. I'm not really good at being social around strangers, although people always compliment me, because well, they would be accused of not doing their job if they said you were a failure or a screw up. Eh?

 

I'm autistic, so I think that makes it extra hard to mingle with ordinary people. But as far as escorts go, I think they are really expensive, at times. Of course I also believe you only get what you pay for, so I guess if you pay for a bad service, you can bet your bottom dollar you should have paid for a better service. I've had some great experiences in the past and I was happy with my choice, but usually that's when I had the spare money and she was around at my place. I was worried in the past about being caught out if someone opened the door to the staff flat and seen her. Plus, my buzzer jams a lot, so imagine if someone come and pressed it, and it got stuck, then the whole flat would be disturbed by the noise. However, as long as I didn't reveal who I was seeing, nobody would have any right to pry or ask me questions. One confession about my sex life and it's goodbye to my home. :P

 

Then again, they aren't dumb. They would know who she was, even if I told fibs. I could just lock my door and leave the big key in the door. If they got the keys to my flat, that's a violation. They can only do that if you weren't seen in days. That would be merit for doing it. Coming in to see if you are getting it off with a call girl is considered to be an invasion of your privacy.  ;)

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It seems to me as the world becomes more interconnected there are an element of people who become more disconnected from that world.

 

Personally I think we see more gents posting here who are maybe pushed from the mainstream. Sadly for me it now seems much of modern culture doesn't want to embrace difference, but rather try and make you conform to the mainstream.

 

Specifically on what peterhoping44 has said I would say you need to evaluate closely what you are doing. Firstly don't do anything that is making you unhappy. Secondly, understand what you are looking for and the reality of what you can expect from visiting an escort. It also sounds to me if you find a lady you have had a good visit with, stick with her as long as you don't feel you are becomming too involved. Perhaps also explaining yourself a little to a lady may also help if you have autism.

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Was the site offline today? Anyway, I agree with your points. Especially about the stuff about not doing anything that causes financial upset or anxiety. Like I just wasted money on some DVDs which could have waited until later this month. I'm a collector, but at times I tend to buy things that aren't necessary.

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Was the site offline today? Anyway, I agree with your points. Especially about the stuff about not doing anything that causes financial upset or anxiety. Like I just wasted money on some DVDs which could have waited until later this month. I'm a collector, but at times I tend to buy things that aren't necessary.

 

Peter we all do that in all walks of life so I don't think you need to worry your head about that.  The best bit of advice here so far has been to stick with the girls that make you happy or that you have enjoyed the most.  If they are understanding of your needs you may find that rather than trying new girls all the time those that you have enjoyed will be even better.  Just be very careful you don't get attached.  Have you looked at the ladies on TLC?

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I'm autistic, so I think that makes it extra hard to mingle with ordinary people. But as far as escorts go, I think they are really expensive, at times. Of course I also believe you only get what you pay for,. . . .

I'm being selective in quoting you here Peter, but hopefully you'll still see some validity in my points.

1) Being autistic is what gives you the money to pay for escorts. Don't knock the prices they charge, you don't have to pay them if you don't want to, especially when autism is the reason you can afford them in the first place.

2) It's hard to mingle with ordinary people because you do not do the things that ordinary people do ( oo, oo ooh, common people ) . Musical references aside,  the majority of people who are over 16 and under 65 do something that you do not do - they are ( for the most part willingly, I must admit ) working and paying for a system that pays you to be able to afford what you do, and then they pay for the things that they would like to do themselves out of what is left.

 

I've never once read you say something like 'Do you know what, thank you to the welfare state, and to the people who pay for me just because of who I am to have the choice whether to carry on punting or to retire from punting, which is the choice that I'm considering'. That's a great choice to have and one which millions of people do not have.

 

My advice fwiw - retire.

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I'm being selective in quoting you here Peter, but hopefully you'll still see some validity in my points.

1) Being autistic is what gives you the money to pay for escorts. Don't knock the prices they charge, you don't have to pay them if you don't want to, especially when autism is the reason you can afford them in the first place.

2) It's hard to mingle with ordinary people because you do not do the things that ordinary people do ( oo, oo ooh, common people ) . Musical references aside,  the majority of people who are over 16 and under 65 do something that you do not do - they are ( for the most part willingly, I must admit ) working and paying for a system that pays you to be able to afford what you do, and then they pay for the things that they would like to do themselves out of what is left.

 

I've never once read you say something like 'Do you know what, thank you to the welfare state, and to the people who pay for me just because of who I am to have the choice whether to carry on punting or to retire from punting, which is the choice that I'm considering'. That's a great choice to have and one which millions of people do not have.

 

My advice fwiw - retire.

 

Do you know what!!!!  In all the years I have been here I have NEVER EVER read a post I have been more horrified at!    Do you seriously think that Peter or anyone else in his position chooses to be there?  You I think need to take a long hard look in the mirror and think 'There but for the grace of god go I'!  Horrified and sick at this post.....  Seriously I am!!!!!

 

 

I seriously suggest you go do a bit of research into Autism and other mental health issues before you post again..

 

One very cross Holly.  :angry:  :angry: :angry:  

 

That will go right over Peters head.......               not clever.

Edited by Holly Maddison
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Do you know what!!!!  In all the years I have been here I have NEVER EVER read a post I have been more horrified at!    Do you seriously think that Peter or anyone else in his position chooses to be there?  You I think need to take a long hard look in the mirror and think 'There but for the grace of god go I'!  Horrified and sick at this post.....  Seriously I am!!!!!

 

 

I seriously suggest you go do a bit of research into Autism and other mental health issues before you post again..

 

One very cross Holly.  :angry:  :angry: :angry:  

 

That will go right over Peters head.......               not clever.

Yes I agree that it is " but for the grace of god/family genes/sheer luck" that we are able bodied and minded to be able to look after ourselves but all Peter does is bitch, whinge and complain, usually about the people who have built their career (not that well paid half the time either) to looking after him and others who are not able to look after themselves. Just because you are mentally, socialy or bodily disadvantaged does not mean you shouldnt show a bit of basic gratitude to the state and people who do look after you, in some countries there is no state, its family or nothing. 

 

We should all be grateful for what we have, if that means grateful that we are able to earn a living so be it and if it means grateful to the people who provide for us then so be it. 

 

Peter, you are already on a sex break as you have genital warts therefore not fit physically to have any sort of sexual contact with another person till they are fully healed and gone.

 

Sorry Holly, i know this subject is close to your heart but your post came across rather like the people who tell others they are rude for pointing out to someone in a wheelchair that they have just knocked their child over when speeding on the pavement. They are able enough to get out and about in their wheelchair but seemingly not to have their totally shite awful bad manners and sense of self entitlement pointed out by an agrieved mother with an injured child.

 

Peter has managed to not only find this forum but also get himself escorts booked, sneaked them into his accomodation etc. He isnt a baby. If he can be so critical of others then he can take it too.

Edited by Chloe Kisses
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Ha! Well, to be honest, I'm undergoing 'personal' anger management lessons to improve my way of thinking, so it wouldn't fly over my head, Holly. When somebody says something on forums nowadays that is probably meant to rile me up, I don't really entertain them with a reply anymore. Trolls are Neanderthals.

 

To be honest too, it's not even the first time someone has pointed out that I'm potentially leeching off government welfare. Although would it make a difference if I used my work wages to do this? I don't see the relevance with an explanation of the technical side of money management. You either pay the money for a shag or you don't. Where it goes to or comes from in the first place is a bit irrelevant. It's a private transaction between you and whoever.

 

However, I have stated before that if I had a choice between them and a real girlfriend, I'd gladly have a real girlfriend. We're all nice people, I'm sure. However, it can be hard to impress people for to gain a relationship, so maybe we feel stuck in a rut we want out of. It's the same for women who are call girls. People never seem to think they have kids or something, or that guys are just horny, lonely or desperate. Since we're all on a punting board, I guess that rings true. We're all on here because we either want customers or punts.

 

Sorry for ranting this early into the AM, folks. :)

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Yes I agree that it is " but for the grace of god/family genes/sheer luck" that we are able bodied and minded to be able to look after ourselves but all Peter does is bitch, whinge and complain, usually about the people who have built their career (not that well paid half the time either) to looking after him and others who are not able to look after themselves. Just because you are mentally, socialy or bodily disadvantaged does not mean you shouldnt show a bit of basic gratitude to the state and people who do look after you, in some countries there is no state, its family or nothing. 

 

We should all be grateful for what we have, if that means grateful that we are able to earn a living so be it and if it means grateful to the people who provide for us then so be it. 

 

Peter, you are already on a sex break as you have genital warts therefore not fit physically to have any sort of sexual contact with another person till they are fully healed and gone.

 

Sorry Holly, i know this subject is close to your heart but your post came across rather like the people who tell others they are rude for pointing out to someone in a wheelchair that they have just knocked their child over when speeding on the pavement. They are able enough to get out and about in their wheelchair but seemingly not to have their totally shite awful bad manners and sense of self entitlement pointed out by an agrieved mother with an injured child.

 

Peter has managed to not only find this forum but also get himself escorts booked, sneaked them into his accomodation etc. He isnt a baby. If he can be so critical of others then he can take it too.

 

I've not seen him being critical just struggling to cope and understand.  I was OTT last night *must stop posting when cross* and yes maybe I have a better understanding than most with regards to Peters condition, (personally I think he should stay the hell away from forums altogether because of it), but that post of Bongo's came across as if he resented the fact that Peter is punting at all on benefits that riled me as I'm pretty sure Peter and the many other disabled punters out there would much rather be in Bongo's shoes.

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I don't see anywhere in this topic that has justified, in my view, the comments towards the OP.

The comments towards him from Bongo and Chloe Kisses seem to be along the lines of you are on benefits (which I'm not actually sure how people know that from this topic?) and you should be grateful to the point where you cannot have or express a view.

My belief is just because you are on benefits you are still entitled to a view. If Peter thinks, for example, escort rates are too high he is no less entitled to that view because he is on benefits than a multi millionaire banker.

Even worse the comment "Being autistic is what gives you the money to pay for escorts" is utterly as foolish as it is insulting to many, no doubt. Would people suggest a lady having breast cancer is something she should be grateful for because it enables her to have time off work, for example? The logic of such a comment is totally obsurd. Regardless of wealth or status if you have a difficulty in life or an illness it is an issue for you, it gets you down, I'm still quite shocked people don't appear to believe mental health issues are as valid as cancer, heart disease, etc.

Actually if you look at autism, for example, I'm sure you will find many people with it are far from a "drain on society". I know some thinkers on the subject are actually of the belief the world around us is being shaped by people on the autistic spectrum, many of whom are well above average intelligence and earnings within the internet, finance sectors, etc.

Finally I just wanted to return to the wider issue of benefits and how this country has dealt with austerity over the last few years in a brief manner and the effect is seems to be having on some. I think the austrity agenda has actually been very successful in turning people against each other and exposing the nasty side of people's characters.

What does a person get on benefits, £60 a week? Are there people out there who would actually begrudge someone £60 a week to live on? Lets just get that in context, for less than an escort could earn in a 30 minute appointment that is what some have to home, clothe and feed themselves per week.

 

This to me is classic being "strong against the weak" but you will often find such people are "weak against the strong" in society, they have no comment or a vested agenda about big companies or individuals not paying millions in tax or avoiding tax to the tune of millions. Surely if we all fall into such spite against the people living on the very basic in society we are heading for an awful future. No doubt you will find people so against a person getting basic benefits being someone who regularly uses the NHS to a much greater degree than £60 a week, for example, so maybe I consider them as scroungers for doing that, although that would no doubt offend them and they would object? And what has equally puzzled me is if you work hard you are actually working hard on having the benefit of your own money. If you are actually begrudging paying tax because you want more yourself, then surely there are bigger targets than welfare, the armed forces, for example. Equally, if you look at the stats last I was aware the majority of benefits go to pensioners, and actually mistakes account for more lost money than fraud within the system.

Basically I'm asking why have such a large ground of people lost their human compassion in exchange for a nasty view of the world which seems almost solely focused on attacking the very weakest in society because they are an easy target? Are people really proud to be of that nature?

 

I think our country and we as people are ultimately judged by how we look after the less strong in society, that is how we are judged. That is why I believe in the NHS, I believe in welfare, although there are always reforms to be made, we should only judge ourselves by compassion and fairness, not by hate, spite or jealousy.

Edited by nntt
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I don't see anywhere in this topic that has justified, in my view, the comments towards the OP.

The comments towards him from Bongo and Chloe Kisses seem to be along the lines of you are on benefits (which I'm not actually sure how people know that from this topic?) and you should be grateful to the point where you cannot have or express a view.

My belief is just because you are on benefits you are still entitled to a view. If Peter thinks, for example, escort rates are too high he is no less entitled to that view because he is on benefits than a multi millionaire banker.

Even worse the comment "Being autistic is what gives you the money to pay for escorts" is utterly as foolish as it is insulting to many, no doubt. Would people suggest a lady having breast cancer is something she should be grateful for because it enables her to have time off work, for example? The logic of such a comment is totally obsurd. Regardless of wealth or status if you have a difficulty in life or an illness it is an issue for you, it gets you down, I'm still quite shocked people don't appear to believe mental health issues are as valid as cancer, heart disease, etc.

Actually if you look at autism, for example, I'm sure you will find many people with it are far from a "drain on society". I know some thinkers on the subject are actually of the belief the world around us is being shaped by people on the autistic spectrum, many of whom are well above average intelligence and earnings within the internet, finance sectors, etc.

Finally I just wanted to return to the wider issue of benefits and how this country has dealt with austerity over the last few years in a brief manner and the effect is seems to be having on some. I think the austrity agenda has actually been very successful in turning people against each other and exposing the nasty side of people's characters.

What does a person get on benefits, £60 a week? Are there people out there who would actually begrudge someone £60 a week to live on? Lets just get that in context, for less than an escort could earn in a 30 minute appointment that is what some have to home, clothe and feed themselves per week.

 

This to me is classic being "strong against the weak" but you will often find such people are "weak against the strong" in society, they have no comment or a vested agenda about big companies or individuals not paying millions in tax or avoiding tax to the tune of millions. Surely if we all fall into such spite against the people living on the very basic in society we are heading for an awful future. No doubt you will find people so against a person getting basic benefits being someone who regularly uses the NHS to a much greater degree than £60 a week, for example, so maybe I consider them as scroungers for doing that, although that would no doubt offend them and they would object? And what has equally puzzled me is if you work hard you are actually working hard on having the benefit of your own money. If you are actually begrudging paying tax because you want more yourself, then surely there are bigger targets than welfare, the armed forces, for example. Equally, if you look at the stats last I was aware the majority of benefits go to pensioners, and actually mistakes account for more lost money than fraud within the system.

Basically I'm asking why have such a large ground of people lost their human compassion in exchange for a nasty view of the world which seems almost solely focused on attacking the very weakest in society because they are an easy target? Are people really proud to be of that nature?

 

I think our country and we as people are ultimately judged by how we look after the less strong in society, that is how we are judged. That is why I believe in the NHS, I believe in welfare, although there are always reforms to be made, we should only judge ourselves by compassion and fairness, not by hate, spite or jealousy.

 

This + 1  Thank you.

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The fact Peter's income is benefits based isn't the issue, however he has said on more than a couple of occasions that he can run quite close to the bone with his finances, and paying the fees of ladies he's booked puts him under extra stress which has affected experiences during bookings.

 

I am now going to say something Peter will probably hate, and it happens to all of us but it is common to feel attraction for carers, or those in authority. She may have experienced this with other clients of hers and the rules are there for good reason. Similar rules exist in a lot of other situations, even with what you'd consider to be consenting 'adults'. Doesn't always stop them but her job will be worth more than considering anything else.

 

I just wish there was something we could say to stop Peter feeling so frustrated about life and relationships with women.

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The fact Peter's income is benefits based isn't the issue, however he has said on more than a couple of occasions that he can run quite close to the bone with his finances, and paying the fees of ladies he's booked puts him under extra stress which has affected experiences during bookings.

 

I am now going to say something Peter will probably hate, and it happens to all of us but it is common to feel attraction for carers, or those in authority. She may have experienced this with other clients of hers and the rules are there for good reason. Similar rules exist in a lot of other situations, even with what you'd consider to be consenting 'adults'. Doesn't always stop them but her job will be worth more than considering anything else.

 

I just wish there was something we could say to stop Peter feeling so frustrated about life and relationships with women.

 

But sadly Strawberry there isn't.  I'm not sure whether Peter has a councillor or not, but if he has then that's the place he should be talking about these issues not on here.  I can understand why he's here though.  One of the hardest thing my son had to deal with following his illness was that he could no longer function in a so called normal world, he was a young man with all the bodily functions and needs that his peers had.  He would see the way they were living and wanted that too, but couldn't grasp that he simply did not have the tools anymore to deal with the emotions attached (lack of emotion and understanding of others needs mainly, didn't even appear to feel for his brothers death in the way the rest of us did) but he still wanted to belong, wanted to feel *hate using this word in this context* but for want of a better one 'normal' and part of a normal world.

 

Having spent sometime conversing with Peter elsewhere, my advice would be to look about him for a male figure, perhaps a male carer or councillor and discuss all these issues with him and that includes the crush on his carer, the difficulties and extreme bullying he has suffered on various forums, the problems with the ex girlfriend and the problems he's had with sex and SP's in general and not come here with it because it's doubtful he will receive the understanding or answers here.

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What's those red negatives I see on some of my postings when someone disagrees with my escorting comments? Is that like the feedback thing they have on vBulletin forums for reputation building? If so, I think that feature tends to get abused a lot for the sake of it. If people disagree with any post that a member adds, the reply button is there for people to voice their thoughts about it.

 

That is all! :)

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What's those red negatives I see on some of my postings when someone disagrees with my escorting comments? Is that like the feedback thing they have on vBulletin forums for reputation building? If so, I think that feature tends to get abused a lot for the sake of it. If people disagree with any post that a member adds, the reply button is there for people to voice their thoughts about it.

 

That is all! :)

 

This Thread explains all:

 

http://www.punternet.com/forum/index.php/topic/31749-voting-posts-up/

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If you are unhappy doing something then you need to take positive steps to try and deal with that unhappiness otherwise it will untimately deal with itself and probably in a way that is not to your liking.     That's a general observation and not just specific to your problem.

 

I started punting 18 months ago and went at it full speed.  I was not prepared to wait for an opportunity to arise.   i manufactured opportunities.    All this did was to have the effect that in the first year, although I had some really good punts, I also had a lot of dissatisfaction.     I have now steadied down and, if as a result, I only end up with a handful of punts in the coming year that's fine.    I'm sure that my satisfaction level will have increased.  

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Yeah. I think next time, I'll wait and do my research properly.

 

While I'm here, are the saunas all gone by now? They were handy at least. I live near one and would just pop in if I was around.

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