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Pinkrose

The Client From Hell

44 posts in this topic

I joined AW in 2011 and within a couple of months of being on the site i was contacted by a guy who turned into a regular. Over the months he became increasingly possessive and intrusive and i realized he isn't as 'nice' as he likes to portray himself.  It became clear that he wanted a lot more than i was prepared to give him and he began stalking me, watching what i'm doing and so forth. 

 

He wanted me to come away from the sex industry and said he would 'look after me' financially, i nicely explained that i was happy in my job and did it of my own free will and not because i'm desperate for money. I respectfully recommended he chose another lady to see because i weren't happy with the intrusions. 

 

By this point i was sick of it, he was creeping me out and i wanted to be left well alone - i told him not to contact me any more as i didn't appreciate the way he was behaving and i didn't wish to see him again. 

 

He'd buy me expensive presents, for example a brand new laptop, a digital camera, pricey shoes etc. Then he would use these gifts as an excuse to contact me saying he wants them back. Instead of agreeing to meet him face to face i paid for the items to be sent to him as to avoid having to see him like he'd hoped i would. He received his presents back then got in touch again saying he'd like to give me them back. I said i didn't want any presents and again asked him to leave me alone.

 

It became apparent that his mental health was unstable and he could be real aggressive so i distanced myself from him all together, changing my number, moved address and blocked his numerous accounts on the site. I'd hoped i wouldn't hear from him again but that was just the beginning.

 

From then on, whenever i took a booking or received any feedback from web camming he'd go into a jealous rage and make threats, harass my profile and make attempts to contact and abuse innocent clients who'd left me feedback. I've had to get in touch with several clients through the site and apologize for this mans conduct which was extremely embarrassing and damaging to my business. 

 

Somehow which is beyond me, he has has managed to locate where i live - or at least the area which is frightening

He is hell bent on ruining my job and won't tolerate me seeing anybody else, the reason i'm so angry now is because its starting to affect my work. I could sit here until next Christmas telling you of all the different things he's done and continues to do to stop me working.

 
It has gotten to the point where i'm extremely hesitant to work at all. I have taken all my photo's down and no longer update my blog which was apparently pretty popular with my clients, my profile is like a blank canvas with positive feedback - nobody is going to be interested in booking somebody if they can't see what they look like right? no matter how good their feedback may be. 
 
I've recently found out he did something very similar to another WG who has now left the area entirely. He says he isn't bothered about the police however - i am. Due to circumstances in my real life i simply cannot afford to have police logs crop up involving my name as it would be damaging to a separate part of my life which means a damn site more to me than some ass hole demanding attention. He knows this. 
 
I don't know what i'm going to do, i don't speak to my family or know anybody in the area i live in yet so i'm not sure what i can do put an end to the situation without informing the police. Involving the police would do more harm than good for numerous reasons, one of them being he would then be told my real name. (He has found out my real first name but not my second). I'm 19 and he's in his late forties/early fiftes - i don't have a boyfriend or male friend i could get to see him off before anybody suggests that either. It appears that my hands are tied. 
 
Any advice will be good advice - just please don't say go to the police - i can't do that.
 
Thank you in advance 

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Sorry you're going through this.

 

Can I ask though, why can't you go to the police ? This man isn't going to stop by the sounds of it. 

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Read ur post, can see your problem, if you can't go to the police/get the heavies on him, the only other response is doing it yourself.

Guessing meet in a public place and ask him straight up what he really wants, marriage/kids/grow old together, what...if its just to fuck you on tap, then your not now as he fucked that up,, with his stalking/bad action.

In regards gifts/taking anything from him DONT as this will lead him on and matters worst. Also regarding ur buzz have u thought about booking a hotel / working out of that away from where ever u usually work so you have money to pay bill etc

PS when meeting in public please take a friend along just in case but make sure she hided in the background, for their safety.

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......meet in a public place and ask him straight up what he really wants, marriage/kids/grow old ......

 

Doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

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Doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

 

Meeting him definitely sounds like a really bad idea.

 

This might sound a bit extreme, but perhaps you could change your name by deed poll and then use that new name to contact the police (if you get a passport in your new name).  You can then change your name back at a later date.

 

I'm not sure whether this approach still works, but I had a friend who did something similar to circumvent a problem they were having (although a very different problem).

 

Perhaps one of the other members here has some legal expertise and can offer more advice.

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Is there really nobody in real life who could help you? You know, a big, rugby playing mate who could pose as your boyfriend? Also - what do you know about him? Can't you turn this around? Where is he getting all the money for the gifts? Is his business squeaky clean? All his taxes paid up? Licenses up to date, that sort of thing?

In your situation I would make it my business to find out as much as possible about him - we all have something to hide. And depending on what you find, an anonymous tip off may work just fine. Another thing to consider is to publish any contact means he gives you in places where he will end up getting so much junk mail / so many dodgy phone calls, it will effectively cripple his account / number. You know, put an ad on craigslist or something like that. If you are sending him stuff, you know his name and address - how about a shed-load of magazine subscriptions? For embarrassing stuff? Be sure not to leave a trail back to in doing this.

Mind you, he may relish the attention... I had a guy of that age range pretty much obsessed with me when I was your age, thankfully he never got past the excessive gift stage - when he tried to bribe a taxi driver he'd seen drop me off at work to tell him where I lived, my (very scary, very male) 'boss' had a word with him. That was the first and only time I got that sort of help from my 'boss' (aka the owner of the parlour) btw, somehow he decided it was not his problem after a girl made up a big lie to try and get his sympathy a few weeks after my incident. But when my boss confronted him, his first reaction was to be thrilled that I talked about him. Bloody nutjob.

Can you not at least anonymously ask the police for advice? Why would they tell him your name? How unstable is his mental health? Can you get him sectioned? Would this other girl be prepared to report him?

Edited by Vin DaLoo
Redacted
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Sounds like a nightmare, sorry to hear you're going through this.

I can't think of much to say, apart from the obvious which you say you can't do. I'm pretty sure the Police would not give any details whatsoever about you to this low life - and they would take what is happening to you extremely seriously.

Can you not report him to AW and at least get him off your case that way?

Plus if it's any consolation, I've booked a wg who was having issues with people messing with her profile - she had little feedback and no photos but there was something about the way her profile was written which intrigued me enough to make an enquiry, and she was so professional in the way she dealt with things leading up to the booking I had no doubt she was genuine, and so it turned out.

Don't know what others would think and I'm not really a fan of them anyway but are there any reputable agencies you could join up with near you and dump your AW profile completely? Then you wouldn't have to deal with him getting in touch, as the agency would deal with your bookings - and he may not find you on the agency site? Just a thought.

Good luck and I hope you manage find a way of getting this scumbag to leave you alone.

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Adultwork won't give a tin shit, for starters. And I can't be the only person here who thinks this particular MO sounds familiar, either.

 

OP, if you don't want to go to the police directly you can contact your local sex work project and ask them; many have local Ugly Mugs schemes and all should have a member of staff who is used to liaising with the local police and can support you if you do decide to make a report (including taking it as a third party report and passing it on for you). You can also report anonymously to National Ugly Mugs and if you give them as much information as you can then other ladies can be alerted. IN the meantime, don't engage with this man at all.

 

If you're not sure where your local project is or who to contact, you can look on the UK Network of Sex Work Projects site or please PM me and I can help :). Vulnerable witnesses are protected, especially in cases such as this - the projects can explain how the whole thing works so you can make an informed choice.

 

Don't know what others would think and I'm not really a fan of them anyway but are there any reputable agencies you could join up with near you and dump your AW profile completely? Then you wouldn't have to deal with him getting in touch, as the agency would deal with your bookings - and he may not find you on the agency site? Just a thought.

Good luck and I hope you manage find a way of getting this scumbag to leave you alone.

 

It's up to her, but I can't see how the OP dumping a business she's worked hard to build up and employing a pimp instead is going to help her or anybody else. If this man wants to find her he will, and reinforcing the idea that she's helpless by doing nothing but leaving him to get on with it will just mean it takes him a bit longer to keep it going, that's all.

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It's up to her, but I can't see how the OP dumping a business she's worked hard to build up and employing a pimp instead is going to help her or anybody else. If this man wants to find her he will, and reinforcing the idea that she's helpless by doing nothing but leaving him to get on with it will just mean it takes him a bit longer to keep it going, that's all.

Yeah probably not the greatest idea, was just trying to think of some kind of alternative if the OP definitely won't go to the Police which really is the best option available.

With regards AW I do actually know someone who got the profile removed of someone who was being shall we say a nuisance - although I know AW can be hit and miss to say the least. I won't post it here but I have the email address the person used to make contact with AW and I know they got a response from it.

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Sounds like a lovely bunch of coconuts. You do get them, unfortunately. That's why I suggest you block him and alert the authorities.

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Yeah probably not the greatest idea, was just trying to think of some kind of alternative if the OP definitely won't go to the Police which really is the best option available.

With regards AW I do actually know someone who got the profile removed of someone who was being shall we say a nuisance - although I know AW can be hit and miss to say the least. I won't post it here but I have the email address the person used to make contact with AW and I know they got a response from it.

 

The trouble with that is he'll only start a new one, and then she risks him booking her without her knowing. At least his current one is there where she can see it (and if he's haranguing people including punters on the site itself, then it's maybe worth reporting him as long as she doesn't get her hopes up).

 

The projects are the best bet IMO - if nothing else they can offer support, and that in itself can make her feel a bit more in control. I would certainly be interested to know if it's the same person I think it is, too.

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Any advice will be good advice - just please don't say go to the police - i can't do that. Thank you in advance

Hello Pinkrose and welcome to the forum.

It makes my blood boil when I read of guys behaving like this. It is truly criminal (in all senses of the word) and I hope he rots in hell.

For what it is worth, early in my punting days I was a regular of a young lady who had simiar issues. I did my best to offer advice but it still devastated her and I wish I could have done more to help. Here are my thoughts

1) Don't go through this alone. Find someone to support you. Amy has made a great suggestion above. Use the contacts you have to talk about the issue and share ideas and advice on the way forward. You don't have to be alone here.

2) Try not to let this twat affect your business. I can see that a natural reaction is to hide, but taking your photos down on adultwork is not going to help. All it will do is mean that you'll see less guys which is what he wants.

3) Be firm in your correspondence with him. Tell him that he is hurting you, that you want him to leave you alone and that if he doesn't stop there will be consequences (he doesn't have to know you don't want to go to the police). The girl I mentioned above asked me to read some mail he had sent her and I clocked a few of her replies which were unintentionally wishy washy. I could see how a deluded punter may read between the lines and come to the wrong conclusion. If you are in contact with him, be firm, business like and brook no nonsense. That is hard when you are 19, but be strong.

4) Despite the above, don't engage in email tennis with him. I think it is a good thing to contact him and be very clear that he has to stop his behaviour and that you never want to see or hear from him again, but after that block him completely. Do not read the drivel he sends you and block him from calling you and texting you.

5) Keep a log of his harrasments. I know you don't want the police involved, but it may help if things begin to escalate.

6) Never accept any gifts from him. If he sends you them, and you know his address, return them. Consider returning or disposing of everything he has bought you to date. It's not as if you want anything to remind you of him is it?

7) Remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. He will eventually move on and find someone else to intimidate if you show him that you are having none of it. It may take a while but be strong. And use whatever support you can find.

8) Consider sharing what you know with the Ugly Mugs people (Amy will help). This may stop him from repeat offending.

9) The guy is a low life of the lowest order. Do not let him control your life or business. Do not however feel that any of this is your fault. He is the one behaving badly, not you. He is fifty, you are 19. I bloody well know who should know better. You don't deserve any of this and it is NOT your fault.

Well done for coming on here and sharing. I hope it helps and you get a quick resolution to the problem.

Edited by Kantos Kan
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The trouble with that is he'll only start a new one, and then she risks him booking her without her knowing. At least his current one is there where she can see it (and if he's haranguing people including punters on the site itself, then it's maybe worth reporting him as long as she doesn't get her hopes up).

 

The projects are the best bet IMO - if nothing else they can offer support, and that in itself can make her feel a bit more in control. I would certainly be interested to know if it's the same person I think it is, too.

It's a difficult one - he could start a new profile anyway without too much trouble...but would have no kind of feedback at least initially. It may be worth the OP being a little extra vigilant about accepting bookings from people with little or no feedback.

Obviously you wg's are far better placed than us punters to help the op - let's hope she gets the help she needs to get it sorted.

Final dumb idea ;) would saafe be of any help with something like this?

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Taking what the OP has posted at face value, why is this matter being discussed on the Public Board? Hardly discrete or smart.

 

If all this is true, the OP has done a very good job at being profiled by such a man, if he were to read this forum.

Edited by drzhivago
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Taking what the OP has posted at face value, why is this matter being discussed on the Public Board? Hardly discrete or smart.

 

If all this is true, the OP has done a very good job at being profiled by such a man, if he were to read this forum.

Have to agree with this.Reading this could make him a whole lot worse.

As for advice.Read Amy's post,thats best way to go about it.If you want him gone/handled then it has to be the police.Whatever you do,don't even consider the get a mate to warn him off.Firstly,he can then have you nicked and there goes your privacy.The other thing is,crazies don't always theaten well.He may be the type to brick it and scarper,or he could be the type it'll just trigger to a whole new and far nastier level.

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Have to agree with this.Reading this could make him a whole lot worse.

 

If this man is a prolific punter who has done this before, it's more than likely he's a member of punting forums (including this one) anyway, and since nobody here can possibly be verified as Type #1: Not A Nutter, putting it on a very-slightly-harder-to-see board is unlikely to do any good and could actually have the opposite effect by creating a false sense of security for the OP and encouraging her to post more information than she should. If it's here, there's also a chance that other WGs affected by the protagonist or others like him might see it  :).

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Sorry to hear that you getting this shit.I have no idea if Crimestoppers might be of any use.

 

Another alternative might be to go to your Citizens Advice Bureau. They are completely confidential and non judgemental. If they don't have any positive help they might be able to point you at some place who might.

 

I wish you luck in getting this idiot out of your life.

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I hate pricks like this. I hope the OP sorts it out peacefully.

Who breeds these people?

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Pinkrose,

 

I have sent you a couple of PMs. I don't wamt to post the information on here in case the stalker is following this thread.  He might just be. The procedure I have outlined may provide you with a solution.

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If the stalker is following I hope that by now he has realised that a) his 'affections' are completely unwanted, b ) we all think he's a nasty, disturbed person, c) people know, d) he will more than likely find it hard to punt in future and e) it's looking like things will get unpleasant for him sooner rather than later. I am unfortunately in a different country so I can't do much but I've helped a friend with a similar issue here. It did not involve any heavies, just someone who is 'very good with computers', if you get my meaning. However, I think AdorableAmy's suggestion is the most sensible and most likely to be effective without causing additional risk or hassle to the OP.

Sadly this sort of thing happens quite a lot, especially as some men get taken in by a good GFE - they seem to forget they've bought the girl's time and that it's not real. Some men are just not mentally stable or rational enough for punting. I mean, apart from a few cases of a teenager scoring a multi-multi-millionaire or where there is a bit of a psychological issue with the girl - other than occasionally enjoying an experienced lover who is hopefully still in decent shape, why on earth would this man manage to delude himself that a teenager would want anything more than an economically beneficial 'relationship' from him? He's old enough to be her grandfather, sure, I've had some great experiences with men that much older than me but I would never want a relationship with one.

Edited by randombird
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He's a 50 something pen deck oh (Spanish inaccurate spelling for "A" hole). Probably has a thing for young birds. If he knows your area, you'd do best to not work alone. And report him anyway.

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AdorableAmy is coming with the best solution.  I would highly recommend her advice.  Remember, you are the victim and you have done nothing wrong in being a sex worker.  You will not be put on the PNC system as you are the victim of a stalker and therefore protected.

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there are a lot of weirdos in this world, go to the Police they wont judge you just help you.

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Reading the account my view would be there certainly needs to be an intervention in this matter.

 

I can understand why Pinkrose doesn't want the police involved, but the behaviour of this individual sounds worrying in the extreme and for me the police need to be involved. If someone were to intervene (non police) on behalf of Pinkrose I can see this could further inflame the situation with this gent. It may work, but if as suggested this individual has done this before he could move on to another lady and who knows with worse behaviour.

 

I'm sure the ladies and establishment owners have faced similar issues before so I would hope Pinkrose would recieve help in confidence from them.

 

I do hope the matter is resolved with a good outcome and I would say to Pinkrose (and others going through similar events) don't let it get you too down.

 

I would also believe adultwork have a duty of care so if serious concerns are originating from their site at very least they should be looking into the matter, I'm sure they will have supporting IP logs, etc.

Edited by nntt
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Many years ago I knew a working lady who was experiencing similar, but not identical, issues.  She felt strongly that she couldn't visit the Police for fear of exposure to family, friends and kids.

 

I asked her for a copy of some of the emails, cropped out all the personal details but kept the main body.

 

A while later I approached a local beat bobby, explained what was happening, showed him the emails and explained why the lady couldn't walk into the Police Station and make a complaint.

 

He fully understood and said that he would look into it quietly, took down some details from the emails (not in his notebook) and we parted, shaking hands.

 

Within two days all contact stopped, a week later I passed the beat cop, as I crossed the road to speak to him he held up his hand, gave me a big smile and a "thumbs up" and walked off.

 

Nothing was ever said and I have no idea what he did, if anything, but the harassment stopped, so if it was some Police action it must have put the fear of God into the guy.

 

A small downside, she would never meet me again for a "social coffee" in case the policeman saw us together and started adding 2's.

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