raylondoner

Spanking - Why?

43 posts in this topic

Probably been done before, apologies if this is the case.

 

I don't see the enjoyment in spanking - neither as the spanker nor definitely the spankee - I'm limiting this to the spanker scenario though.

 

Yes, I love to fondle and massage a nice tight bum, who wouldn't, but why spank it instead of just gently caressing and maybe "accidentally" slipping a finger into the pussy?

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Maybe it's the sound of the squeals the woman makes ?

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Presumably the enjoyment of spanking depends on whether you're a bit of a sadist (spanker) or a bit of a masochist (spankee).

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Because it's fun, and different people like different things?

A fair number of ladies don't like/allow fingering, so your 'accidental' alternative wouldn't make you very popular with them, would it?

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Agree with the original poster who posted at the same time as me. And when a current favourite pushed me to do it to her I did so without any enthusiasm and also found it hard to get the timing right for her bum to sting very briefly which is what she wanted.

 

happy to please people whenever I can but the idea of paying just or paying more to add doing this is a no no to me as uninteresting to me as joining a bukkake party.

Edited by vivluvsme

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And I don't see the enjoyment in slipping a finger into a pussy. Why would you do that, unless she asks for it? To each his own.

 

But since you asked: spanking makes the skin more sensitive, and brings its own set of sensations. Variety is the spice of touching.

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And I don't see the enjoyment in slipping a finger into a pussy. Why would you do that, unless she asks for it? To each his own.

 

But since you asked: spanking makes the skin more sensitive, and brings its own set of sensations. Variety is the spice of touching.

 

fraid I am with raylondoner on this one.

 

but each to their own

 

however, the odd playful slap can be fun.

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And I don't see the enjoyment in slipping a finger into a pussy. Why would you do that, unless she asks for it? To each his own.

 

But since you asked: spanking makes the skin more sensitive, and brings its own set of sensations. Variety is the spice of touching.

He's right y'know :)

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Probably been done before, apologies if this is the case.

 

I don't see the enjoyment in spanking - neither as the spanker nor definitely the spankee - I'm limiting this to the spanker scenario though.

 

Yes, I love to fondle and massage a nice tight bum, who wouldn't, but why spank it instead of just gently caressing and maybe "accidentally" slipping a finger into the pussy?

 

There have been several times when in the heat of the moment a lady has shouted at me to slap her arse.  It's always been in doggy and at a point where the action is building.  This has happened with several different ladies, so there must be some pleasurable sensation for a percentage of the population.

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It's the naughty girl syndrome. Who can resist role playing that one.

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There is no point unless both the spanker and spankee enjoy it, in fact I would go further and say it is wrong unless both parties enjoy it and have agreed limits etc.

 

 

Presumably the enjoyment of spanking depends on whether you're a bit of a sadist (spanker) or a bit of a masochist (spankee).

 

I think to see it in terms of S & M is to misunderstand spanking.  Like all activities it ranges over a wide spectrum from light to brutal.  I have no interest in the latter, but the former can be fun ime.  I would not classify myself as a sadist, my enjoyment derives from seeing the recipient get aroused from the spanking.  That is why for me there is no point in indulging in this with a recipient who does not enjoy it.

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There have been several times when in the heat of the moment a lady has shouted at me to slap her arse.  It's always been in doggy and at a point where the action is building.  This has happened with several different ladies, so there must be some pleasurable sensation for a percentage of the population.

Yep same here. Its not particularly my bag but i am happy to oblige. The fact is some people like Spanking or being Spanked perhaps both, its their bag.

 

Before the net i used to see English Spanking and Caning Videos being sold out of Loot or in then unlicensed sex shops for £40+, that told me there was a market for it. Later the satellite channel Sex View that i had showed a series of these English films and some were just light spanking, but some were very hard spanking which left the women with very red sore arses. The canes left weal marks on the women, a big turn-off for me as was the hard Spanking. I have no doubt such stuff is a big turn-off for some people though of course.

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Before the net i used to see English Spanking and Caning Videos being sold out of Loot or in then unlicensed sex shops for £40+, that told me there was a market for it.

 

There used to be a shop on Old Compton Street in Soho, Janus I think it was called, catered entirely for that sort of stuff :D  It didn't sell any "normal" porn!!

 

Not my thing either, but we are all different.

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Probably been done before, apologies if this is the case.

 

I don't see the enjoyment in spanking - neither as the spanker nor definitely the spankee - I'm limiting this to the spanker scenario though.

 

Yes, I love to fondle and massage a nice tight bum, who wouldn't, but why spank it instead of just gently caressing and maybe "accidentally" slipping a finger into the pussy?

 

Warning! This reply contains "trigger" words not suitable for those of a nervous or sensitive disposition!!

 

Ray I had to go the the British Library, and look this one up. But I got the answer, it's to do with sexual fetishism. Specifically it's to do with  the process by which mental "energy" gets attached to certain things, via various memories and thoughts,and which then gets released by acting  out:

 

Freud continued the analogy between his psychological hypotheses and those of physics by speaking of the quantum of psychic  energy with which a particular object or person was invested. For this concept Freud used the German word Besetzung, which has been translated into English by the word "cathexis." The accurate definition of "cathexis"  is the amount of psychic energy which is directed toward or attached to the mental representation of a person or thing. That is to say, the drive and its energy are considered  to be purely intrapsychic  phenomena. The energy cannot flow out through space and cathect or attach itself to the external object directly.  What are cathected of course are the various memories, thoughts, and fantasies of the object which comprise what we call its mental or psychic representatives. The greater the cathexis, the more "important" the object is, psychologically speaking, and vice versa. (Charles Brenner, An Elementary Textbook of Psychoanalysis, 1957, p.28 emphasis mine.)

Edited by TheCrow7

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I've received light spanking before but never full on "Miss Whiplash makes your bum scarlet red"

I think its horse for courses...............either it appeals to you or it doesn't!

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There is a very fine line between pain and pleasure and sometimes a little pain can definitely increase pleasure.

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There is a very fine line between pain and pleasure and sometimes a little pain can definitely increase pleasure.

Absolutely accurate observation Holly. Some pain can be pleasurable. Very pleasurable.

I've visited both wg's and mistresses and being hit by a cane is not pleasurable. Not for me anyway. I have been told that after a dozen strokes with the cane endorphins kick in and the pain becomes pleasurable. I'm not prepared to go through that amount of pain for any amount of pleasure.

I have, on several occasions, experienced a mistress (i.e. Someone who really knows what she's doing) using a riding crop on my rear and found it very enjoyable. The first time it happened I couldn't believe that there were no marks despite the fact that she really made me jump. The cane hurt but the crop was an exhilarating experience.

I have discovered that many wg's get a lot of pleasure from having their arse slapped whilst fucking them doggy.

To properly enjoy it, and there are a lot of variations, you need to be sharing the experience with an expert not just some who wants to make the list of services as long as follows.

Edited by William Bonney

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I was caned quite often at school, there is no doubt that it was a sexual turn on for the various men who did it, I didn't enjoy it, cos ive a very soft arse, but can see the appeal of spanking as part of role play and ritual, rather than s +m.

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Warning! This reply contains "trigger" words not suitable for those of a nervous or sensitive disposition!!

 

Ray I had to go the the British Library, and look this one up. But I got the answer, it's to do with sexual fetishism. Specifically it's to do with  the process by which mental "energy" gets attached to certain things, via various memories and thoughts,and which then gets released by acting  out:

 

Freud continued the analogy between his psychological hypotheses and those of physics by speaking of the quantum of psychic  energy with which a particular object or person was invested. For this concept Freud used the German word Besetzung, which has been translated into English by the word "cathexis." The accurate definition of "cathexis"  is the amount of psychic energy which is directed toward or attached to the mental representation of a person or thing. That is to say, the drive and its energy are considered  to be purely intrapsychic  phenomena. The energy cannot flow out through space and cathect or attach itself to the external object directly.  What are cathected of course are the various memories, thoughts, and fantasies of the object which comprise what we call its mental or psychic representatives. The greater the cathexis, the more "important" the object is, psychologically speaking, and vice versa. (Charles Brenner, An Elementary Textbook of Psychoanalysis, 1957, p.28 emphasis mine.)

 

i.e. conditioning

 

BTW I like a bit of spanking but much more giving than receiving

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Because it's fun, and different people like different things?

A fair number of ladies don't like/allow fingering, so your 'accidental' alternative wouldn't make you very popular with them, would it?

 

Yes.

 

Just why do so many people struggle to accept that some people like different things to them??

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Yes.

 

Just why do so many people struggle to accept that some people like different things to them??

 

Because we can all only go by our own experiences.

 

All aspects of sex are different for everybody, it's not just spanking.  For example I've known men almost cum through having their nipples played with, whilst others have shot across the room if you so much as try too lick those nipples and really don't like it.  Some men like you to carry on licking and sucking long after completion during a BJ whilst others can't bear to be touched as soon as they have cum.

 

With regards to spanking/pain, personally I would not enjoy it 'either giving or taking' unless extremely turned on.  If very aroused however it's an entirely different thing and does enhance the experience whether giving or receiving for me at least.

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Because we can all only go by our own experiences.

 

 

 

But, surely part of everybody's experience would give them a few clues that different people prefer different things in practically every aspect of life.

 

Growing up… unless you're completely self absorbed… you notice some friends prefer certain foods, some prefer certain types of music, some pursue different hobbies, etc.

 

Then you notice some guys prefer certain types of women, and indeed some prefer other guys. And when time comes you find some people prefer some sexual practices… by then… it really shouldn't be a surprise.

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But, surely part of everybody's experience would give them a few clues that different people prefer different things in practically every aspect of life.

 

Growing up… unless you're completely self absorbed… you notice some friends prefer certain foods, some prefer certain types of music, some pursue different hobbies, etc.

 

Then you notice some guys prefer certain types of women, and indeed some prefer other guys. And when time comes you find some people prefer some sexual practices… by then… it really shouldn't be a surprise.

 

You would think so wouldn't you, but lots of people are completely ignorant intolerant with regards to other peoples experiences, you find that a lot on forums, it's not happened to them so therefore it can't possibly have happened to others.. 

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Of course it all depends on who you're with, what is happening and how it happens. I personally want to thump anyone who gives me a surprise for slap across the arse when shagging me from behind, It just makes me feel like a slow cow at market and not remotely erotic and I blame stupid porn for this, 

 

However, in a roleplay situation and I am being 'punished' it really can work for me. Built up to, turned on and consensual it is very different, 

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 I personally want to thump anyone who gives me a surprise for slap across the arse when shagging me from behind, It just makes me feel like a slow cow at market and not remotely erotic and I blame stupid porn for this, 

 

That Genuinely made me laugh out load. I've spurted Coffee all over my KeyBoard. :D

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