Hank Chinaski

Have You Ever Punted By Mistake ?

22 posts in this topic

Is it ok if I take the piss out of myself ?

 

A long time ago I was living in Greece Teaching English to Greeks. I didn't know any English people which was ok so I used to get this English newspaper every day The Athenian Herald or something.anyway I noticed this add in the back pages. (you know where this is going right  :lol: )

 

English Girl would like to meet nice gentleman for night out nice meal and possibly going to see a movie.

Call this number xxxx xxxxx xxxxx  if you would like to meet me.

 

I'm not normally the type of person who rings up personals out of a newspaper but this advert had been in this paper for weeks now and I thought maybe this Girl is lonely ?lol 

Also I desired to hear my Mother Tongue and do You know what I had to loose ? Diddley squat that is what I had to loose so I rang the Girl up.

 

The conversation started off nice and Relaxed.

 

Me:Err Hi I'm Hank and I'm responding to that add you placed in the Athenian Herald.

Her :Hi Hank How are you ?

 

(She sounded very nice.)  ;)

 

Me :I'm fine thanks. So do you want to go out for a drink or catch a Movie or something ?

Her :Sure I would love to go out for a drink or catch a movie or something with you.

Me :Cool when would you like to meet up ?

Her :Anytime you want babe !

 

Very friendly that babe bit ! Only been talking to her for a couple of minutes and she's calling me Babe ! Yessssss Look's like I'm in here. lol

 

Me :How does Tomorrow evening grab you ?

Her :Tomorrow Evening sounds Great but It will Cost you 60,000

Me :  :blink: 

Me :Excuse me ?

Her :It will cost you 60,000 Drachma

Me :60.000 Drachma for what may I ask ?

Her :For Sex of course.

Me : :eek: 

Me : :blink: 

Me : :unsure: 

Me : ;) 

Me :Errr Errr lol Err Tell you what babe can I call you back later ?

Her :Of course you can, When you are feeling Sexy give me a call ok.

Me :ok

 

I put down the phone and was a little bit shocked. Was I really this Naive ? I thought that I was the Coolest Cat in my street obviously I'm not. As the afternoon wore on you can guess what I was thinking about.

Fuck it  I thought I'm Horny so I rang the Girl back up seeking her services.

 

This was the Deal I was instructed to go to this hotel where you pay by the hour which she would deduct from her gift. When you paid for the room you was given a Key a remote control for a Television and a Dressing Gown.

 

When I got in the room I saw that there was an old fashioned Telephone at the side of the King size double bed after a few minutes the phone rang and I heard a familiar voice on the other end of the line. She told me to get in the shower and she would be up shortly and then we can Relax together.

 

After I exited the shower there was a Knock on my door and there she was.

 

She was very nice to look at nice long Legs a Beautiful Body long blond hair and pretty face in her early 30's at a guess, she had on a mini skirt and when she plonked herself down on the bed I saw she as wearing red panties and the gusset didn't cover her privates. She looked like a California Blond but she told me that she was from Manchester. 

 

She said oooh your good looking and seemed a bit puzzled as to why I was seeking such services so I explained my Naivety and the desire to hear my mother tongue with which she laughed. She told me that her client base was mainly old Arab men and that she wasn't really used to seeing younger men. I was 26 at the time.

 

​I said "Fucking Hell your gorgeous I bet you make a killing out here" she said " Yes I don't do too bad, Sex i good business out here, you aught to try it yourself!" What do you mean ?Well you toddle along with your little bag of massage oil etc and put yourself out as a Masseur there's plenty of Old Ladies". 

 

I didn't feel awkward giving her her gift funny thing was that when you are in a foreign country because of the currency I always had loads and loads of coins in my pockets which I emptied onto the dressing table they literally covered it she laughed and said are you going to pay me in coins lol. Naturally I paid her in notes I'm not a Philistine for God sake !

 

I wont go into the Gory details as that's beneath me on here but I will mention a couple of thing's. When she saw my Erection she Gasped looked up at me and said "You have not had sex for quite some time have you ?" she seemed Genuinely suprised. It kind of put me on the spot for a few seconds where I felt I had to explain myself I said that I hadn't had Sex for a few months but in reality it was around 2 years what puzzles me is how could she tell ? I'm not abnormally large just average. When I came she said "Jesus christ I thought that was going to shoot off like a Rocket" meaning the Condom. lol

 

I think the only thing that I did wrong was Kiss her I think she didn't kiss her elderly Arab Clientele. I thought I want my mouth on that mouth so instinctively went for the Kiss and I noticed a slight hesitation at first but then she gave in and kissed me back. She should have said really shouldn't she if she didn't permit kissing.

 

Best mistake Ive ever made in my life. :D 

 

Anybody have any similar interesting Anecdotes with which they would like to share ? Or are you too cool for School ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I don't have a "punt by mistake" story but I do have an "almost punted by mistake" story. Many years ago, when I was much younger and quite naïve, a friend of mine and myself walked into a bar, late at night in a Spanish coastal resort. This must have been over twenty odd years ago, in the early 1990s. We had been sat down with our drinks for less than a couple of minutes when two girls suddenly appeared and sat down beside us. One was a Spanish girl and the other was a Scandinavian blonde. She might have been Finnish, if I remember rightly. Rather naively, my friend and I- we were 18/19, wet behind the ears- believed we had actually managed to pull and these girls genuinely fancied us.

 

We talked to them for a bit, bought them drinks (ha!), the blonde was making eyes at me and I'm thinking "I'm in here!" But when I suggested going back to our hotel.... "that's going to cost you X" I realised what it was. I was tempted, my friend attempted to talk me into it but wasn't brave enough or willing to pay himself, and I just thought fuck it- I'm not going to let him persuade me here. My 'mate' was hoping I'd pay for both of us and then if anything bad happened he could say it was my idea. I was still a virgin, at this time by the way. I said to him, it's too expensive, let's go. Do I regret it? It might have been an interesting experience but we might have ended up being stitched up, robbed, or whatever. Also that 'mate' turned out to be a bit of an arsehole in the end after all, so I wouldn't want him having the knowledge that we'd paid for sex in this place.

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This reminds me of the times when I had no clue what punting was about.  I remember an evening at uni when I was out with a mate in Soho...typical routine of paying extortionate prices to get a table at the latest popular club and maybe get lucky with one of the single ladies.  So after no luck we were walking through Soho on the way home and my mate stopped me at some point and asked if I wanted to come up to this place he knows for a quick massage.  I thought wtf is he on about...this massage place won't be open anyway at this time of night but whatever.  So I was quite suprised when we went to some flat with ladies sitting around in a room and then it finally clicked where he took me.  I wasn't ready to start punting at the time so excused myself and left...telling him to have fun...but I was tempted (just morally hadn't thought about it enough if I was ok with it).  He is now 'happily' married but I'm almost certain he's a seasoned punter in secret because (no suprise) he often complains about getting very limited sex from his wife...feel tempted to drop an acromyn like HOD or LMP next time I see him and see if he reacts and is willing to chat about puntin.

 

Another time on rugby tour in South America (I thought) I picked up this hot Brazilian lady at a club and we were kissing and everything.  After at least 2 hours of playing around in the club, I asked her if she wanted to come back to the hotel...to my suprise, she gave me a price...big dent in my ego...should have done it - we had a good connection and the sex would have been fantastic.  Well - there is plenty of time to make up for missed opportunities!

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Two years ago I was working in South Africa and staying in a very nice hotel. I was working long hours during the week so Fridays were a great opportunity to go out and hit the bars and I did, meaning every Saturday was a long lie in. One Saturday I was dead to the world until the sound of loud knocking stirred me, it was housekeeping. I yelled "not now" but the door opened and a young girl walked in and stood at the bottom of my bed. "Do you want housekeeping?" she asked? I replied no but she repeated her question. I shook my head, "Can you come back later?" "Later?" she repeated? "Yes, come back this evening." "When, what time?" I shrugged. "After 6, I'll be going for dinner, then." She smiled and left the room and I went back to sleep. 

 

That afternoon I went to the gym, then went for a long lunch. I knew the evening would be another booze up so thought a nap would get me sorted, I went back to my room and slept, then waking up refreshed I jumped into the shower. After a minute there was a knock on the bathroom door, someone was in my room. I grabbed a towel and opened it nervously, There she was. The maid from earlier dressed to the nines, full make up and obviously borrowed high heals. I asked her what she wanted. "We're going to dinner" she laughed. I didn't know what to say, I stammered a sorry. "You asked me to come back this evening, for dinner." I didn't know what to say. I was tempted to just take her out, just to be nice, but our bosses might see us together and we'd been warned off this sort of thing. I apologised. "I'm sorry, I've had to cancel dinner. I'm staying in tonight, Is that ok?" She looked sad. I pointed to a pile of notes on the desk, "Look, you have a good time on me, take that, please." she smiled again and I closed the door and got back into the shower.

 

When I finished I walked out of the bathroom, towelling my hair and whistling. As I looked over my shoulder I saw something that made me spin around in shock. She was sat in my bed, naked and smiling. She asked I I was happy. Before I could reply she'd crawled to the foot of the bed and started wrapping herself around me. My bosses' warnings of AIDS and other horrors swam through my head but down below interests were pushing these further away.

 

We spent a good couple of hours together, fully protected of course, and I saw her a few times during my visit. It turned out that she was a student midwife, paying her tuition by housekeeping and occasionally escorting for European hotel guests, most of the maids were doing it apparently.

 

I went back to the hotel last year and when I asked about escorts it turned out that one of the junior managers was now running a mini agency in the hotel but with 5 Eastern European girls.

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On the night before my wedding I went out on the piss with my best man. We returned to the hotel we were staying in and had a last one in the bar. We got chatting to two women at the bar and one finally said in semi coy words that they were escorts and available!

I was all noble and said thank you but I was getting married in the morning.

One of the women said something like "Oh, you poor bugger. Fancy a last night of freedom, on the house!"

Again I nobly refused and my mate and I went off.

Looking back from here, I wish I had gone with her

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Loving these stories! 

Great topic! 

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Not quite along the lines of what others have said above, but when I was quite young :o and also quite a few years before I started punting I often had cause to walk through an area where quite a few streetgirls touted their trade.  The street scene was I think very different back then as there was no internet etc.  My recollection of it was that there was a much more diverse and vibrant scene back then.  That is not to say that the street scene did not cause a few problems.  I do recall a colleague's wife coming to the office early one evening and saying that she had just been propositioned :eek:  She seemd to be quite unruffled by it :cool:

 

More than once as I walked past late in the evening on my way home I was offered "business luv?"  I always politely declined and rarely got a negative reaction to that, there seemed to be quite a bit of camaraderie and banter.  The scene now to an outsider like me looks very different, and to be honest has a more desperate air about it :(

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When I was working my office was at Kings Cross. Coming home from lunch in a pub at Argyle Square a (not too young) lady came up to me and said, so I thought "What's the time". I told her it was 1.45 when she turned round to me and said "No I said would you like a good time?". I declined on the basis that I had to get back to work. (business before pleasure. :D )

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It wasn't punting, but I had an enlightening experience in my late teens in 76 when I went back packing in Greece and then onto the middle East. Now first of all you've got to remember that I was a fairly young Lancashire lad from a small Northern town, although I had had sex, done some drugs etc, my experience of cities was Manchester or Blackburn etc to see bands. Athens was amazing, sleeping on the beach on the islands, then Istanbul, next Syria. We spent a week or so so in Aleppo then moved down to Damascus, a beautiful city in those days. Also quite international and very secular in those days, plus we found quite a few nice bars to spend our afternoon and evenings in. There was one where everyone was really friendly to us, especially the very attractive women. It was only on I think our third visit that we clocked that the 'women' weren't really. Come on you've got two young lads from a small Lancashire ill town, we'd never even hear of 'gay' bars, well there was a pub in Blackburn, but that was a city, where evidently 'puffs' went. Nothing ever came of it it and it was a nice bar, just rather an eyeopener at the time. Now I spend many a night out down Manchester's famous Village and often reflect on how much the world has improved over the years in so many ways :)  

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After I got divorced I was at a bit of a loose end with what to do with my holidays and I had never punted before. The idea of sitting on a beach by myself for a week didn't appeal so I headed off to Hong Kong for a week long city break, I also had hoped to pull a Chinese girl for a bit of a holiday romance. After jetting into Hong Kong from London I decided to hit the bars as soon as I had checked into the hotel. So a few bars in and a few beers I had been trying to scope out the action without much luck, until I headed to a another bar.

In the next bar I got speaking to a philapina girl who seemed friendly, she was dressed casually and a bit chubby and I thought its worth seeing where this will go. At the same time I also got chatting with a couple of English guys who were living and working in HK they were keen to adopt me for the night for their pub crawl, however I declined to pursue the philapina girl and said as much, one of them said in reply, 'you can do much better than her, mate'. However there was a meaning here that I totally missed.

So the girl and I stayed in the bar until closing time, because of the time difference I wasn't tired, so we headed for a club in wan chai that she knew, here we spent another 2 or 3 hours drinking with table service, I was well oiled by this point but I still managed to suspect my bills were being padded. However being in a strange city and half cut I wasn't about to cause a scene over the bill. So time to head back to the hotel accompanied by my new friend.

Back in the room we're having a good snog on the bed and I make a move to start undressing her when she stops me and asks me how much I'm going to give her. I'm totally gobsmacked, it's going through my head that I've been buying her drinks all night, she's not even that good looking :P and now she wants money for sex!!!! Wtf

I then start to think about the bill padding and suspect she had been in on that too (with hindsight I'd been played but it hadn't been huge amounts) so very annoyed I chucked her out of my hotel room. Looking back on it I think she was almost as naive as I was expecting me to know what the game was, we'd both made assumptions that were very wrong.

The next night I headed out to the bars in wan chai were it was blindingly obvious what was going on anyway this time I made sure we discussed the money upfront and the girl was good looking and I didn't buy her a load of drinks when I didn't need to.

So my plans for a genuine holiday romance were well out the window but I'd discovered a new hobby, and the holidays have been great ever since too.

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I've gone on holiday by mistake. 

 

"Of course he's the fucking farmer"

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When I was a younger, better-looking guy, I met this striking young lady in a club. We hit it off immediately and as the drink flowed, the flirting got serious and she suggested we go to her place. Result! I thought and with my pack of three in my pocket and hard on in my boxers, off we went. We had a night of debauched amazing sex and both fell asleep around 5am. When we both awoke on Sunday, bleary eyed and hungover, I looked around her bedroom and was surprised to see no furniture, just the bed we were lying on. I went to the bathroom where there was just a towel, nothing else. I peaked into what I thought was a living room - one chair and one coffee table. When my lady friend awoke, I asked where we were. "Oh, this is where I work" she said. "I don't live here." Being young and naive, I questioned her more. "Well," she said, "this is where I bring my clients... you know, for 'fun'" Then the penny dropped - I'd pulled a WG inadvertently and got a free session. Funny thing is, I would have paid her - she was amazing!

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Back in the late 90's when Soho was still a bit lawless I used to hang around there a lot, in and out of the pubs, the odd punt here and there, maybe just out on the streets mingling with the characters and taking in the scene... there was always stuff going on, plenty of action...

 

I remember a young girl about 17 or 18 (which didn't seem that young as I was only in my early 20's myself) had been hanging round all night scrounging cigarettes and talking to passers by, scrounging small change off drunken queers, giving them a sob story about getting home to Peckham... I had seen her down by Leicester square, up at Tisbury Court, all over the place

 

I had been for a punt in that charring cross road walk up that after hours used to double as a speakeasy and then went for a drink in the spice of life... walking through gay town I saw her again and began chatting to her, some Turkish or Arab guy was following her and she used me to shake him off...

 

We made our way across Soho towards Oxford Street where we both had a bus to catch, she was scrounging from queers all the way - she wasn't homeless or anything, just resourceful, she was from Peckham and had "come up west" with a group of lads who had decided to turn nasty on her so she was on her own and getting up to no good... she had made a small fortune out of her scrounging... she kept complimenting me on my looks and good nature compared to the Peckham bad boys she was used to... In those days I would chat to girls all the time and thought nothing of taking a stroll with her... she was a very pretty working class girl with a charming London accent, nice mannerisms and lots of council estate street slang... An English Rose from the wrong side of the tracks... she told me that she knew the guys that killed Damilola Taylor, this was before they were arrested or known to the press, it was a big story at the time...

 

Anyway, seems she was on a roll but the scrounge cash wasn't enough because up on Berwick street she came right out with it:

 

"you've got nice eyes, would you like me to suck your cock?"

"errrrr, alright then."

"Will you sort me out so I can get a cab?"

"errrrr, alright then."

 

She had no idea that I was a punter (unless she guessed because she had seen me in Soho, but I don't think so) I had £20 in my pocket which seemed about right...

 

I asked if she had done it before:

 

"oh noooooooooooooo..." she says all innocent and points out a secluded corner...

"its too cold out here..." I say

"everyone says that" she complains, then realises her blunder, looks embarrassed and to change the subject quickly asks

"where then?"

 

There used to be a fast food joint, Mcdonalds or Burger King or something on oxford street, dead opposite Berwick street and I take her there, I think it must have been a Sunday because it was dead and we sat downstairs by the toilets, waited until the coast was clear and went into the mens where I gave her the twenty quid and she sucked me off nicely...

 

After the deed was done, I carefully opened the cubicle door but at the same time the main toilet door swung open and a rasta stood there in our way, looking at us both with a knowing, bemused look... she panicked and tried to close the cubicle door sandwiching me... but the guy just came in and didn't say anything... we sneaked out and jumped back into our seats as if nothing had happened...

 

We had a little chat, then I walked her to oxford circus where she jumped on a bus to Peckham... as it pulled away I could see her talking to some guy on the top deck...

 

A couple of years later I was walking up near Marble Arch when I pass a nice looking young lady by a bus stop... we look at each other in recognition... she seems embarrassed and looks away... I cant place her and keep walking... then later in the day I think I remember who it was but i'm not 100%... on my way back I check the bus stop... and sure enough... it went to Peckham.

Edited by ralhar
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Back in the late 90's when Soho was still a bit lawless I used to hang around there a lot, in and out of the pubs, the odd punt here and there, maybe just out on the streets mingling with the characters and taking in the scene... there was always stuff going on, plenty of action...

 

I remember a young girl about 17 or 18 (which didn't seem that young as I was only in my early 20's myself) had been hanging round all night scrounging cigarettes and talking to passers by, scrounging small change off drunken queers, giving them a sob story about getting home to Peckham... I had seen her down by Leicester square, up at Tisbury Court, all over the place

 

I had been for a punt in that charring cross road walk up that after hours used to double as a speakeasy and then went for a drink in the spice of life... walking through gay town I saw her again and began chatting to her, some Turkish or Arab guy was following her and she used me to shake him off...

 

We made our way across Soho towards Oxford Street where we both had a bus to catch, she was scrounging from queers all the way - she wasn't homeless or anything, just resourceful, she was from Peckham and had "come up west" with a group of lads who had decided to turn nasty on her so she was on her own and getting up to no good... she had made a small fortune out of her scrounging... she kept complimenting me on my looks and good nature compared to the Peckham bad boys she was used to... In those days I would chat to girls all the time and thought nothing of taking a stroll with her... she was a very pretty working class girl with a charming London accent, nice mannerisms and lots of council estate street slang... An English Rose from the wrong side of the tracks... she told me that she knew the guys that killed Damilola Taylor, this was before they were arrested or known to the press, it was a big story at the time...

 

Anyway, seems she was on a roll but the scrounge cash wasn't enough because up on Berwick street she came right out with it:

 

"you've got nice eyes, would you like me to suck your cock?"

"errrrr, alright then."

"Will you sort me out so I can get a cab?"

"errrrr, alright then."

 

She had no idea that I was a punter (unless she guessed because she had seen me in Soho, but I don't think so) I had £20 in my pocket which seemed about right...

 

I asked if she had done it before:

 

"oh noooooooooooooo..." she says all innocent and points out a secluded corner...

"its too cold out here..." I say

"everyone says that" she complains, then realises her blunder, looks embarrassed and to change the subject quickly asks

"where then?"

 

There used to be a fast food joint, Mcdonalds or Burger King or something on oxford street, dead opposite Berwick street and I take her there, I think it must have been a Sunday because it was dead and we sat downstairs by the toilets, waited until the coast was clear and went into the mens where I gave her the twenty quid and she sucked me off nicely...

 

After the deed was done, I carefully opened the cubicle door but at the same time the main toilet door swung open and a rasta stood there in our way, looking at us both with a knowing, bemused look... she panicked and tried to close the cubicle door sandwiching me... but the guy just came in and didn't say anything... we sneaked out and jumped back into our seats as if nothing had happened...

 

We had a little chat, then I walked her to oxford circus where she jumped on a bus to Peckham... as it pulled away I could see her talking to some guy on the top deck...

 

A couple of years later I was walking up near Marble Arch when I pass a nice looking young lady by a bus stop... we look at each other in recognition... she seems embarrassed and looks away... I cant place her and keep walking... then later in the day I think I remember who it was but i'm not 100%... on my way back I check the bus stop... and sure enough... it went to Peckham.

£20 For a blowjob in a toilet, ma, by the way are you always so homophobic?

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LOL

 

not the most glamorous sexual encounter but when you are young this stuff happens... saying the word queer isn't exactly homophobia... not if it isn't said in malice... and I doubt there are any errrrr, "homosexuals" on this site to take offence... unless you are?

 

Are you always so uptight, critical and boring?

 

You went as far as Damascus and the best you can come up with is you saw a gay bar? Your post isn't worth reading to be honest.

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Back in the late 90's when Soho was still a bit lawless I used to hang around there a lot, in and out of the pubs, the odd punt here and there, maybe just out on the streets mingling with the characters and taking in the scene... there was always stuff going on, plenty of action...

 

I remember a young girl about 17 or 18 (which didn't seem that young as I was only in my early 20's myself) had been hanging round all night scrounging cigarettes and talking to passers by, scrounging small change off drunken queers, giving them a sob story about getting home to Peckham... I had seen her down by Leicester square, up at Tisbury Court, all over the place

 

I had been for a punt in that charring cross road walk up that after hours used to double as a speakeasy and then went for a drink in the spice of life... walking through gay town I saw her again and began chatting to her, some Turkish or Arab guy was following her and she used me to shake him off...

 

We made our way across Soho towards Oxford Street where we both had a bus to catch, she was scrounging from queers all the way - she wasn't homeless or anything, just resourceful, she was from Peckham and had "come up west" with a group of lads who had decided to turn nasty on her so she was on her own and getting up to no good... she had made a small fortune out of her scrounging... she kept complimenting me on my looks and good nature compared to the Peckham bad boys she was used to... In those days I would chat to girls all the time and thought nothing of taking a stroll with her... she was a very pretty working class girl with a charming London accent, nice mannerisms and lots of council estate street slang... An English Rose from the wrong side of the tracks... she told me that she knew the guys that killed Damilola Taylor, this was before they were arrested or known to the press, it was a big story at the time...

 

Anyway, seems she was on a roll but the scrounge cash wasn't enough because up on Berwick street she came right out with it:

 

"you've got nice eyes, would you like me to suck your cock?"

"errrrr, alright then."

"Will you sort me out so I can get a cab?"

"errrrr, alright then."

 

She had no idea that I was a punter (unless she guessed because she had seen me in Soho, but I don't think so) I had £20 in my pocket which seemed about right...

 

I asked if she had done it before:

 

"oh noooooooooooooo..." she says all innocent and points out a secluded corner...

"its too cold out here..." I say

"everyone says that" she complains, then realises her blunder, looks embarrassed and to change the subject quickly asks

"where then?"

 

There used to be a fast food joint, Mcdonalds or Burger King or something on oxford street, dead opposite Berwick street and I take her there, I think it must have been a Sunday because it was dead and we sat downstairs by the toilets, waited until the coast was clear and went into the mens where I gave her the twenty quid and she sucked me off nicely...

 

After the deed was done, I carefully opened the cubicle door but at the same time the main toilet door swung open and a rasta stood there in our way, looking at us both with a knowing, bemused look... she panicked and tried to close the cubicle door sandwiching me... but the guy just came in and didn't say anything... we sneaked out and jumped back into our seats as if nothing had happened...

 

We had a little chat, then I walked her to oxford circus where she jumped on a bus to Peckham... as it pulled away I could see her talking to some guy on the top deck...

 

A couple of years later I was walking up near Marble Arch when I pass a nice looking young lady by a bus stop... we look at each other in recognition... she seems embarrassed and looks away... I cant place her and keep walking... then later in the day I think I remember who it was but i'm not 100%... on my way back I check the bus stop... and sure enough... it went to Peckham.

Hmmm, you said this story was back in the late 90s and the girl knew Damilola Taylor's killers. Damilola Taylor was killed in late 2000!!! 

 

Did you have a time machine?

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Sitting in the bar, at a surviving hotel in Beirut, my bodyguard and local employer around me discussing my invoice and the possibility of there being any flights the next day that they could get me onto.

 

After a few more beers a large Arab invited me to join a group at a table to play poker.

 

Poker is poker, but some of the betting was strange.  I had never been raised "a goat" before but having found the goats value I called the bet.  Not long after the large guy placed his "girlfriend" in the pot, this time I called and raised, mentioning that this was a new aspect to playing table stakes!  Another hand went to me and his girlfriend sat down on my lap, whispered in my ear that I should fold and go back to my room with her now that I has won her :) Well after six weeks in the barren lands of the Lebanon I agreed readily, desperately that I had understood her poor French correctly.

 

The next morning we went down for breakfast and she just walked off back to her boyfriend, I was gutted :(

 

My employer appeared, paid my invoice but with deductions.  When I queried the deduction he informed me that he had paid my bar bill, cashed in my chips and paid for my evening entertainment!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

I guess that qualifies as punting by mistake.

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youknowmyname007, it was over a decade ago, 2000/2001 can easily be misremembered as 1998/1999. The story I was more sceptical about was steviex00 (not saying it's untrue! just more sceptical) yet ralhar's post seems pretty convincing to me because of the detail he gives. I thought it was the best anecdote of the lot.

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No but i once sucked a man off by mistake.. it was a terrible incident involving a banana skin and a curling tong.. What a todo! Oh well, onwards and upwards

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The story I was more sceptical about was steviex00 (not saying it's untrue! just more sceptical) 

 

All true, I promise. I've no need to make things up. But when I look back on it now, I can hardly believe it either so I understand your scepticism!

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When I was about 19 I was approached by a women who was about 50 asking for a lift to the bus station, there was a sob story about being stranded after visiting her brother in prison etc, well after some discussion as I was at a loose end and a gent I offered to actually give her a lift home.

As a young naive lad, I got quite exited when she arranged her mini skirt so I could see the top of her stocking thinking wow I'm in here. When we got to her place she asked me if I wanted to come in..nervously (as let's just say I didn't have that much experience of women and she looked let's just say very experienced) I followed her in.

Long story short we go in, conversation then quickly turns to how she does a bit of escorting and explains charges, then she undid my trousers and I was introduced to the world of Punting.

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