6upxxx

Punting and Self Esteem

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OK this will probably only really apply to guys like me, who if it wasn't for punting would be unlikely to be getting much sex if any.

Do you guys think punting helps your self esteem in that you get sex and the girls convince you your not that bad or does it reinforce your low self esteem in that you know that without the money you would not get anywhere cos you are basicaly not attractive to the girls in that way?

Have your views altered over the period you have been punting?

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OK this will probably only really apply to guys like me, who if it wasn't for punting would be unlikely to be getting much sex if any.

Do you guys think punting helps your self esteem in that you get sex and the girls convince you your not that bad or does it reinforce your low self esteem in that you know that without the money you would not get anywhere cos you are basicaly not attractive to the girls in that way?

Have your views altered over the period you have been punting?

I makes me feel great and I've met some delightful ladies who have genuinely made me very positive about myself. Also I've got some very happy memories, not just sexual, and so yes it's very beneficial for my self esteem. That's not to say I am a negative self doubting person otherwise, it's just that this side of life really adds something to the whole thing. :D

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I think it's a bit of both - I certainly don't get a lot of sex without having to pay for it and I do tend to get a bit down when I'm constantly being rejected and reminded by the fact that I can only have sex when I pay for it. on the plus side, I've been lucky with most of the ladies I've seen in that I've got on wit them so well, that it rarely ever feels like a punt.

Edited by spidey
spelling

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... who, if it wasn't for punting, would be unlikely to get much sex, if any?

If not for punting, I'd get no sex at all. I can't be arsed with one-night stands, I don't want a girlfriend, and tbh I don't like women much - they whinge all the time.

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OK this will probably only really apply to guys like me, who if it wasn't for punting would be unlikely to be getting much sex if any.

Do you guys think punting helps your self esteem in that you get sex and the girls convince you your not that bad or does it reinforce your low self esteem in that you know that without the money you would not get anywhere cos you are basicaly not attractive to the girls in that way?

Have your views altered over the period you have been punting?

It depends to an extent on why you do it.

If you do it primarily BECAUSE you can't get any girls then it probably would.

For me it is mixed. I'm married and do it because I have no sex at home.

It has increased my sexual confidence and therefore self esteem; I think I'm marginally better now than I was before I did this. Maybe gone from crap to so so.:D

However, I think it has damaged my self esteem regarding my integrity. Up until now I have always considered myself basically honest but now I have to practice deceit to do this. And the sad thing is I get a kick out of the subterfuge.

Also, I think it eats away at my general self esteem too. The girl I see likes me but the bottom line is that without the cash I wouldn't be there.

I cannot see how that can help anyone's self esteem, even if it doesn't damage it.

Detached sex does not sit well with me and so because I can never really have loving sex in this kind of scenario there will always be a little sense of loss I suppose. I do it with a feeling of sadness in a way.

Filling one gap - the no sex one - opens others.

And self esteem gets all mixed up in that I think.

I do think there is a lot of hidden vulnerability amongst punters in general that is not talked about - a man thing. And when it does appear it gets ridiculed at times.

On the upside I think it has enabled me to take greater risks - that may be good or bad:rolleyes:. I am braver now because this has shown me that risk taking can be positive - and fun - so in other aspects of my personal life my self esteem is higher because I have done things I would not have done before - not that it was very low previously:rolleyes:

Probably a more complex answer than you were expecting but sex affects all other aspects of our lives even if we don't talk about it much on here.

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It depends to an extent on why you do it.

If you do it primarily BECAUSE you can't get any girls then it probably would.

For me it is mixed. I'm married and do it because I have no sex at home.

It has increased my sexual confidence and therefore self esteem; I think I'm marginally better now than I was before I did this. Maybe gone from crap to so so.:D

However, I think it has damaged my self esteem regarding my integrity. Up until now I have always considered myself basically honest but now I have to practice deceit to do this. And the sad thing is I get a kick out of the subterfuge.

Also, I think it eats away at my general self esteem too. The girl I see likes me but the bottom line is that without the cash I wouldn't be there.

I cannot see how that can help anyone's self esteem, even if it doesn't damage it.

Detached sex does not sit well with me and so because I can never really have loving sex in this kind of scenario there will always be a little sense of loss I suppose. I do it with a feeling of sadness in a way.

Filling one gap - the no sex one - opens others.

And self esteem gets all mixed up in that I think.

I do think there is a lot of hidden vulnerability amongst punters in general that is not talked about - a man thing. And when it does appear it gets ridiculed at times.

On the upside I think it has enabled me to take greater risks - that may be good or bad:rolleyes:. I am braver now because this has shown me that risk taking can be positive - and fun - so in other aspects of my personal life my self esteem is higher because I have done things I would not have done before - not that it was very low previously:rolleyes:

Probably a more complex answer than you were expecting but sex affects all other aspects of our lives even if we don't talk about it much on here.

Actualy that is a very good post. I hadnt really though about the self esteem and how it relates to other areas such as trust, risktaking etc. Will give it some thought. I think the bits I show up in bold pretty much sums up the way I feel in general about punting.:)

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I punted in my 20s; then I think it boosted self-esteem. Returning a quarter-century on I find it neither boosts nor damages.

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I pay for sexual services so that I get to leave before the whingeing starts.

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I'd guess like many it's a bit of both. Since I started punting, I feel more confident in myself and alos a little more comfortable talking to gilrs and now would probablye pluck up the courage to ask one out whereas pior to this I wouldn't have. I agree though that without the cash, no sex would make veritas a frustrated young man.

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There's nothing help personal self-esteem like a good shag. Personally, the more sex I have the better I feel :D

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Does it not take a certain amount or self esteem, confidence and self belief to arrange and actually go through a date with an independent or agency working girl?

I've found very few men, who have the confidence to actually go ahead and book, have any glaring personality issues.

Apprehension however does often show but then isn't it just a seasoning that making the main dish all the better? :D

I'd guess guys with "self" issues would prefer the less personal approach to services and take more easily to a quicker wham bam type sexual fix

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i punt for easy sex (well when they tell the truth) and if anything it makes me feel a whole lot better about woman as im not chasing them for sex

does that make sense if not blame the man flu:o

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I had very low self-esteem to start with, so punting could not have made it worse. Also, thankfully my marriage is not sexless - just not as often as I would like.

I don't know if it's self-esteem as such, but after a good session I do feel on a real high, for up to a couple of days after; those occasions are so well worth the money.

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Do you guys think punting helps your self esteem in that you get sex and the girls convince you your not that bad or does it reinforce your low self esteem in that you know that without the money you would not get anywhere cos you are basicaly not attractive to the girls in that way?

Punting is my only source of sex and I want no other source, when punting esteem (self or otherwise) is just about the last thing on my mind, what others think of me is of no interest to me and is their problem, that holds good if I am not punting BTW.

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Does it not take a certain amount or self esteem, confidence and self belief to arrange and actually go through a date with an independent or agency working girl?

Curiosity and sexual need can overcome a lot. I don't think the original poster was talking about guys with absolutely no self esteem. And besides he was asking whether it had CHANGED.

I've found very few men, who have the confidence to actually go ahead and book, have any glaring personality issues.

Just like the girls most of us aren't going to sit there baring our souls. A lot will remain hidden. We are there to escape personal issues if anything.

Apprehension however does often show but then isn't it just a seasoning that making the main dish all the better? :D

Now that's totally different:)....and so true.

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Ive been punting for nearly a year now and after the first punt I had very mixed emotions, happiness, relief and guilt. I felt guilty for me, for what I had done and guilty for the girl to be in that situation. Now, a bit older and not much wiser and with punternets help, I know different. In fact Im happier now than Iv'e been far a long time and it has made my home life happier too.

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It depends to an extent on why you do it.

If you do it primarily BECAUSE you can't get any girls then it probably would.

For me it is mixed. I'm married and do it because I have no sex at home.

It has increased my sexual confidence and therefore self esteem; I think I'm marginally better now than I was before I did this. Maybe gone from crap to so so.:D

However, I think it has damaged my self esteem regarding my integrity. Up until now I have always considered myself basically honest but now I have to practice deceit to do this. And the sad thing is I get a kick out of the subterfuge.

Also, I think it eats away at my general self esteem too. The girl I see likes me but the bottom line is that without the cash I wouldn't be there.

I cannot see how that can help anyone's self esteem, even if it doesn't damage it.

Detached sex does not sit well with me and so because I can never really have loving sex in this kind of scenario there will always be a little sense of loss I suppose. I do it with a feeling of sadness in a way.

Filling one gap - the no sex one - opens others.

And self esteem gets all mixed up in that I think.

I do think there is a lot of hidden vulnerability amongst punters in general that is not talked about - a man thing. And when it does appear it gets ridiculed at times.

On the upside I think it has enabled me to take greater risks - that may be good or bad:rolleyes:. I am braver now because this has shown me that risk taking can be positive - and fun - so in other aspects of my personal life my self esteem is higher because I have done things I would not have done before - not that it was very low previously:rolleyes:

Probably a more complex answer than you were expecting but sex affects all other aspects of our lives even if we don't talk about it much on here.

I think in life in general I am quite a high risk taker so I guess punting is just another form of risk taking. Whilst to be found out by my partner would be devestating its a risk that I will continue to take for the sex that I get.

I would rate myself as fairly honest so on that score punting does not always sit well.

In general punting has improved my self esteem, in that I feel comfortable with most of the girls, enjoy the sex and the fleeting company. I think what most punters refer to as "the clicking" factor is when a slightly deeper attachment takes place. However like you sex and emotional disattachment does not sit easily with me and so ultimately punting is unfullfilling in that area, this reinforces the negative aspects of ones self esteem to an extent, in the realisation that above all it is still a business transaction.

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OK this will probably only really apply to guys like me, who if it wasn't for punting would be unlikely to be getting much sex if any.

Do you guys think punting helps your self esteem in that you get sex and the girls convince you your not that bad or does it reinforce your low self esteem in that you know that without the money you would not get anywhere cos you are basicaly not attractive to the girls in that way?

Have your views altered over the period you have been punting?

What I find interesting here is the general recognition by punters [ regularly re-inforced by many of the ladies on this forum ] that the WGs are acting, putting on a performance, in the words of the OP convincing us that we are not that bad------ and yet at the same time, we as men congratulate ourselves after a punt when we feel we have in fact " performed " well and sexually satisfied the lady in some material way. something wrong here.

In their posts , by and large, the ladies scorn the idea that there is any real sexual " chemistry " in day to day punting. yes, maybe on the very,very odd occasion when a whole set of factors come together, they will admit to being truly sexually satisfied and yet regularly we come away from a punt believing that , in our particular case , we succeeded. I'm not saying it doesnt happen,but I am saying that it probably happens only a fraction of the time. therefore ,why do we want to be fooled, why do we feel good and congratulate ourselves, when deep down we know the reality points in the other direction.??

if a guy believes that he is so unattractive that he cannot sexually attract or satisfy a woman in civillian life, how then can he convince himself that he succeeds with WGs in the punting world ? when you think about it,how can his self - esteem be increased , when he is being fooled most of the time.?

now if punters believe they are not being fooled and the sexual gratification of the WG is real most of the time, then we are into a totally different discussion.

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No worries here:

I like the physical pleasure of a good sexual encounter and I value the interplay with the girl/lady concerned in conversation.

I find quite simply that the ladies generally like a client who is both a bit sex hungry and yet who is able to have a conversation and share a moment of humour and pleasure.

Uncle Pokey

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If not for punting, I'd get no sex at all. I can't be arsed with one-night stands, I don't want a girlfriend, and tbh I don't like women much - they whinge all the time.

You meanie poop! WHAT do you mean, we whinge too much!! :D

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Apprehension however does often show but then isn't it just a seasoning that making the main dish all the better? :D

Not when apprehension affects potency.. as it is bound to unless one is at the peak of the curve.

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No issues between punting and self-esteem.

Ok then, perhaps a little guilt.

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I recently had a situation when I booked a lady abroad and agreed for how long and how much I am willing to pay. It was clear and all in black and while.

She arrived. Very nice girl and beautiful. Few drinks at the bar and then to my apartment. Ok, we spend a long time in the bar and we chatted a lot before and after. So what? She is in charge of the time. What can I do if she seems to be having a good time and ordering drinks.

When it is time for her to go, I leave the agreed money discreetly on the table and she picks it up and leaves.

The next day I get an email from her saying that I am stingy and that all her customers pay her more. So when I referred her to our agreement she comes back with a series of other insults me with personal things and tries to make me feel bad.

What does that do to your self esteem? It made me laugh and in a way I felt sorry for this girl as it seems the trade she is in has really messed with her head. She was really talking about an insignificant amount which I would have happily paid as tip. She must be a total head case. She continued these emails and I received some 12 of them.

I just cannot believe how she can have such double personality. She was perfect lady at the bar, real whore in the bedroom and great company in between. The next day she is a nasty and petty person.

thats a nasty experience mike. leaves a real bad taste in the mouth and I can understand how that would affect your confidence going forward as it seems you spent a considerable amount of time with her, presumably bought her all her drinks, believed you had a good time and paid the ageed fee. ! I dont think you would get that sort of treatment punting at home.

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My sympathies, Mike. The aftertaste of a bad punt lingers for longer.

My requirements are slightly different (weird) and I never leave pretending I've satisfied her sexually. The whole reason I punt is to satisfy my own sexual predilections and if those conditions are met then yes, the resulting buoyant mood will significantly improve my self-esteem.

I cannot speculate about what the girls think, but my favourable ratings on the other place would indicate that I must be doing something right. Perhaps they're just being kind but I really don't care so long as I leave happy. That's what it's all about for me. My enjoyment is paramount and if she's had a laugh too it's all good.

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I just cannot believe how she can have such double personality. She was perfect lady at the bar, real whore in the bedroom and great company in between. The next day she is a nasty and petty person.
Not at all. I understand her totally.

sort of have me a bit confused there mike :D:confused:

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