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TatlTael

Dating/relationships

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I hope that I'm posting this in the right section, but I'm wondering how "escorts"/"sex workers"/"prostitutes" (someone who accepts payment for explicit sexual acts with a client; sorry, I'm not sure what terminology is most preferred) feel about dating/relationships while they're in this line of work.

 

Do you look for "romantic" partners? If so, how do you go about this? And how far into it do you tell the other party about your line of work?

I'm assuming that many people in this field do still seek out emotional intimacy, as I have no reason to presume that they would desire/crave such intimacy any less than someone working in any other field. Though, I would be curious to know how you feel your work effects your sex drive/potential for sexual frustration; do you feel it lowers it (outside of your work)? Or does it not affect it? I'm aware that many girls practising such work don't sexually enjoy their sessions, or are somewhat numb to it, if this is the case for you, do you seek out fun-only partners outside of your work?

 

Do you think that there are many fallbacks to your line of work with regard to developing emotionally satisfying, and stable, romantic relationships? If so, what are these? If there are many, explain the most significant to you.

 

In case you're wondering what's making me ask these things, the past few days I've been pondering over the idea of dating a girl in this field, not a specific girl (I have never been involved with such a person in any manner), and would wonder how girls in this field deal with relationships. (For those interested, I've been considering the thought in a positive light, I can see quite a few potential benefits, which, for me at least, would way the potential downfalls; while profession is not a major consideration for me in relationships, I thought there'd be no harm in collecting opinions/thoughts/feelings from the other side, so enlighten me!)

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

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I hope that I'm posting this in the right section, but I'm wondering how "escorts"/"sex workers"/"prostitutes" (someone who accepts payment for explicit sexual acts with a client; sorry, I'm not sure what terminology is most preferred) feel about dating/relationships while they're in this line of work.

 

Do you look for "romantic" partners? If so, how do you go about this? And how far into it do you tell the other party about your line of work?

I'm assuming that many people in this field do still seek out emotional intimacy, as I have no reason to presume that they would desire/crave such intimacy any less than someone working in any other field. Though, I would be curious to know how you feel your work effects your sex drive/potential for sexual frustration; do you feel it lowers it (outside of your work)? Or does it not affect it? I'm aware that many girls practising such work don't sexually enjoy their sessions, or are somewhat numb to it, if this is the case for you, do you seek out fun-only partners outside of your work?

 

Do you think that there are many fallbacks to your line of work with regard to developing emotionally satisfying, and stable, romantic relationships? If so, what are these? If there are many, explain the most significant to you.

 

In case you're wondering what's making me ask these things, the past few days I've been pondering over the idea of dating a girl in this field, not a specific girl (I have never been involved with such a person in any manner), and would wonder how girls in this field deal with relationships. (For those interested, I've been considering the thought in a positive light, I can see quite a few potential benefits, which, for me at least, would way the potential downfalls; while profession is not a major consideration for me in relationships, I thought there'd be no harm in collecting opinions/thoughts/feelings from the other side, so enlighten me!)

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

 

It is difficult to form relationships when you're in this line of work. You have to think of all the downfalls..lets face it a guy is either going to run a mile at the thought of a potential girlfriend working in the industry. Equally, as a lady you have to be equally careful that the guy is not just interested in you for the sex.and possibly see it as a chance to do all the things they have ever wanted to do with the added thrill of knowing they are not paying..most guys would run a mile to be honest..its also going to have the added fear on the girls behalf of if she keeps it secret she has to worry that she is not going to get outed... been there done it own the t-shirt....

 

Relationships can be difficult at the best of time without the added stress of being secretive and being found out if work continued....or for the guy the added stress of not knowing who there partner is sleeping with.

 

Sex can also be a touchy subject no you don't feel anything different some people find it easy to separate but as a working girl you are less inclined to just jump into bed with someone you have just started dating..

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If you are pondering the idea of dating a working girl, but 'not a specific girl' then you are profiling basically and already off to a bad start. That means you are trying to seek out a working girl because of that factor, and you should think carefully as to why you would want to do that. A) because we know the deep negatives involved, you must be seeking the positives, like free sex from an experienced practitioner. That's wrong on several levels. B) you think you can 'save' her and be a prince and in return get some hot tottie--eh, even if you have good intentions, also a bit wrong. C) you are en emotional predator and seeking some kind of complex interaction that somehow a WG would be suited towards. Very wrong.

If you are really serious, and this will prove if you are, book a girl that you fancy and don't have sex with her. Take her out on a walk, talk go to the pub, whatever (if she agrees beforehand, don't show up and surprise her like that, could be creepy). See if you click and ask for her number. She will think you are weird of course, because few do that, but hey, you might be 1 in 20 and she genuinely likes you/feels a click. I know one that did with a popular former wg, and it worked (he booked her 6 times, no sex! They ended up married...but it's not so happy actually). But she will likely say 'thanks for your compliment but I prefer to keep work and personal life separate' which is code for 'not interested' if you need help there.

Oh, important point to add beyond the anguish you will feel after getting involved and discovering again some caked come in her hair from the last customer (a regular) who just insisted on a big porno facial, is that if things work out and she eventually quits (almost has to really)...what is she going to do? many WGs are of course qualified to do plenty of things, but particularly the immigrants, well not so much. And very hard to replicate the income. Many find their way back to the job, even a la carte. Can you live with it?

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Hmm, so you just want to date sex worker on the basis they are a sex worker?!

 

You know we're not mad keen on being fetishised in this manner?! We're just women with the same feelings and emotions as everyone else! And if you're under the impression we will be regaling you with stories about the exotic kinky sex we have with clients or are horny 24/7 then you're sorely mistaken! 

 

Trust me, those who are overly excited about the sex worker part of a woman are as annoying/frustrating as men who can't cope with the job.

 

Oh and sex workers meet partners in the usual ways! Some are in relationships when they start, some meet non clients through other work, friends, dating sites, the internet and so on. Some date clients (which is a whole pile of complicated) and you can't manufacture it. Most of us aren't interested in dating clients and if we do it's after much thought and often more trouble than it's worth! 

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If you are pondering the idea of dating a working girl, but 'not a specific girl' then you are profiling basically and already off to a bad start. That means you are trying to seek out a working girl because of that factor, and you should think carefully as to why you would want to do that. A) because we know the deep negatives involved, you must be seeking the positives, like free sex from an experienced practitioner. That's wrong on several levels. :cool: you think you can 'save' her and be a prince and in return get some hot tottie--eh, even if you have good intentions, also a bit wrong. C) you are en emotional predator and seeking some kind of complex interaction that somehow a WG would be suited towards. Very wrong.

If you are really serious, and this will prove if you are, book a girl that you fancy and don't have sex with her. Take her out on a walk, talk go to the pub, whatever (if she agrees beforehand, don't show up and surprise her like that, could be creepy). See if you click and ask for her number. She will think you are weird of course, because few do that, but hey, you might be 1 in 20 and she genuinely likes you/feels a click. I know one that did with a popular former wg, and it worked (he booked her 6 times, no sex! They ended up married...but it's not so happy actually). But she will likely say 'thanks for your compliment but I prefer to keep work and personal life separate' which is code for 'not interested' if you need help there.

Oh, important point to add beyond the anguish you will feel after getting involved and discovering again some caked come in her hair from the last customer (a regular) who just insisted on a big porno facial, is that if things work out and she eventually quits (almost has to really)...what is she going to do? many WGs are of course qualified to do plenty of things, but particularly the immigrants, well not so much. And very hard to replicate the income. Many find their way back to the job, even a la carte. Can you live with it?

 

You seem to have made quite a lot of assumptions about my character. I have not said that I am seeking to date a working girl, I merely stated that I have been pondering the subject, and my views are of a positive light (opposed to negative); I specifically stated that profession is not an important factor for me in such emotional involvements.

I do not want to use a girl for sex, nor do I assume she's going to want to do lots of kinky shit; quite the opposite is true, I have a somewhat low sex drive, and do not have sex within relationships until I've been with the person for an extended length of time, hence, my thought that although a working girl may not enjoy the sessions with her clients, it still prevents sexual frustration, if true, would be one of the benefits for me, and as it's only work (without emotional involvement with the clients) that wouldn't really make me jealous.

I don't want to "save" someone from a line of work that they have chosen themselves, that's their choice, not mine, nor yours.

I don't wish to pay someone for a date, that's implying that my time is less valuable than theirs, such that I have to pay them for a date. I can understand if they're providing a service, but I don't see getting to know a person to see if there's a potential connection as being a service, and any attempt to make it so could lead to misinterpretations and just complicate matters, not to mention that I'd be paying to spend time with a person that I know nothing about, more than likely there isn't going to be a "connection" with person I choose out, again, I doubt this really matters to most "punters" as that's not what you're paying for.

 

 

 

it is difficult to form relationships when your in this line of work. You have to think of all the downfalls..lets face it a guy is either going to run a mile at the thought of a potential girlfriend working in the industry.Equally as a lady you have to be equally careful that the guy is not just interested in you for the sex.and possibly see it as a chance to do all the things they have ever wanted to do with the added thrill of knowing they are not paying..most guys would run a mile to be honest..its also going to have the added fear on the girls behalf of if she keeps it secret she has to worry that she is not going to get outed... been there done it own the t-shirt....

Relationships can be difficult at the best of time without the added stress of being secretive and being found out if work continued....or for the guy the added stress of not knowing who there partner is sleeping with.

Sex can also be a touchy subject no you don't feel anything different some people find it easy to separate but as a working girl you are less inclined to just jump into bed with someone you have just started dating..

 

While a fair percentage of guys might "run for the hills", I don't think this would be true in all cases, especially if you get to know them first, so that they see you for who you are, rather than just what you do. I can understand that guys who want to use you for sex might be a concern, but perhaps in that case it's best to take things slow? Get to know them a lot before things become physical, to see if they're genuinely interested in you as a person, before confiding in them about your profession.

Have you had any experiences at all with dating or relationships while you've been in this line of work?

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Hmm, so you just want to date sex worker on the basis they are a sex worker?!

 

You know we're not mad keen on being fetishised in this manner?! We're just women with the same feelings and emotions as everyone else! And if you're under the impression we will be regaling you with stories about the exotic kinky sex we have with clients or are horny 24/7 then you're sorely mistaken! 

 

Trust me, those who are overly excited about the sex worker part of a woman are as annoying/frustrating as men who can't cope with the job.

 

Oh and sex workers meet partners in the usual ways! Some are in relationships when they start, some meet non clients through other work, friends, dating sites, the internet and so on. Some date clients (which is a whole pile of complicated) and you can't manufacture it. Most of us aren't interested in dating clients and if we do it's after much thought and often more trouble than it's worth! 

 

Again, I haven't stated that I wish to date a working girl, merely that the thought occured to me a few days ago that in this line of work relationships might be an issue; I began giving it consideration, thinking of potential benefits and fallbacks, and viewed it (from my perspective) mostly as positive. That doesn't mean that I fetishise working girls, or wish to date one specifically, and, again, profession isn't much of a consideration for me in relationships.

 

I hope that this isn't just going to be people making almost insulting assumptions about me. I just want to know people's thoughts/views/experiences on the subject, and discuss it in a mature, rational way.

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it is difficult to form relationships when your in this line of work. You have to think of all the downfalls..lets face it a guy is either going to run a mile at the thought of a potential girlfriend working in the industry.Equally as a lady you have to be equally careful that the guy is not just interested in you for the sex.and possibly see it as a chance to do all the things they have ever wanted to do with the added thrill of knowing they are not paying..most guys would run a mile to be honest..its also going to have the added fear on the girls behalf of if she keeps it secret she has to worry that she is not going to get outed... been there done it own the t-shirt....

Relationships can be difficult at the best of time without the added stress of being secretive and being found out if work continued....or for the guy the added stress of not knowing who there partner is sleeping with.

Sex can also be a touchy subject no you don't feel anything different some people find it easy to separate but as a working girl you are less inclined to just jump into bed with someone you have just started dating..

Great point , the pitfalls of forming a relations

hip while being a wg. That is, there is a risk the guy will do a runner....BUT equally theres just as much uncertainty with respect to a man who overtly wants and hungers for a relationship with a wg, just in case theres a possibility he's only seeing the sex side and the whole scenario is a turn on rather than meeting someone and connecting on personality, chemistry, values, outlook.

What you need is an enlightened switched on man whos at ease....

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Ive had two long term relationships whilst working and a handful of shorter relationships... ive never told them and theyve never found out.

What i have got my from my relationships is ENTIRELY different from even the best sex ive had with clients. In short its nothing to do with sex but so much more.

I havent felt guilty because it has always felt seperate and I can draw the line between sex and love.

Some im sure would question this but it maybe comes down to individual personality and views/morals.

I would never date a client - I would not want to be in a relationship with a man who punts as I would never trust that they wouldnt still do it as 90% of clients ive seen have been in relationships! I enjoy the fact that two people meet, have a thrilling and exciting time together, then close the door and go back to their normal lives/families/relationships. I could never be in a relationship with someone who knew i was or ever had done escorting. Its my secret to take to the grave ;-)

But thats just me :-)

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Youve been pondering dating someone in this filed but no one specific.Hmmm.You're either some kind of student looking at what affect sex work has on the ability to form relationships/attachments  or someone who just likes the idea.as previosuly said,the so called "perks"sex on tap,money,personal kink etc.Personally i'm hedging towards the former.
For anyone saying about go and see  a lady and see how you click,ask for her number etc.To me,the request is as odd as asking how would i date an air hostess,maintanence man,plumber(insert any occupation you can think of here).Surely you either like someone or you don't,what difference does the job make?

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a lot of the girls I have been with have fucky buddies but dont want relationship as dont want to hurt any partners

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True, lots of girls have fuck buddies but we are all different and some women chose to 'cut the crap' and stick to investing in a relationship.  Although nowadays is pretty difficult in understand what a man wants.  You meet him in a date, you have a great time then he insists to take you home but you never hear from him again.  Then you realise he wanted to take you home because he was pushing his luck to get into your pants whilst wifey was waiting with the kiddies.  What is wrong with being honest?

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True, lots of girls have fuck buddies but we are all different and some women chose to 'cut the crap' and stick to investing in a relationship. Although nowadays is pretty difficult in understand what a man wants. You meet him in a date, you have a great time then he insists to take you home but you never hear from him again. Then you realise he wanted to take you home because he was pushing his luck to get into your pants whilst wifey was waiting with the kiddies. What is wrong with being honest?

That's sad to read, but true. You sometimes wonder if peeps with a good heart are in the minority, besides being honest at the off-set should be paramount imho...saves a lot of troubles down the road...

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I personally have experienced both sides of the coin, young and foolish, started being a SP when I was in a relationship and engaged.. Got found out and of course he was mortified and ran a 100 mile... Then when a "notorious" agency got busted, my pic was in the paper and another guy found out.. He reacted really badly at first but them accepted it.. Never respected me again and slept about claiming if I could do it, so could he. Needless to say the relationship disintegrated pretty quickly...

These days I try not to get involved. But that's not always possible.. I met a guy 4 years ago, quit the industry, and was honest with him about my past (not too honest with numbers or working name) we lived a happy life until we just drifted apart last January.. I came back into the industry in July...

One thing I can say though. A SP who is an SP or an ex SP can never win.. She is honest about her past, the guy treats her like shit, calls her all the names under the sun and doesn't respect her even though she's out of the industry...

Or she can lie, and her past always catches up, fact of life

Xx

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I think the OP is going to find it VERY difficult to date a WG without making a booking first!

 

I am one of the lucky ones to have found my life partner when he booked me 10 years ago (I was his first Escort btw). He is my best friend, I can be totally open with him about everything, he knows what makes me tick and we are happy.  But if he emailed me "wanting to get to know me" or "take me out on a date" before I'd met him well I'd have told him to jog on. No chance, no way.

 

I am not aware of any dating site for Escorts!?! ;-)

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Hm, very dubious about this approach. Sounds a bit of an ego trip - "I know, I'll date a WG, so I'll get for free what everyone else has to pay for, and she'll do all sorts of exotic stuff in bed". :mad:

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Never respected me again and slept about claiming if I could do it, so could he.

 

Of course if you could do it, so could he. Why such double standards? You do it for money, he does it for something else. Amusingly, I have read comments by escorts saying that they couldn't deal with their partners doing the same job.  It tells us something about how (some) escorts don't want their relationships to be between equals.

 

To the OP: don't fantasize about a relationship with an escort.  What an escort looks like during a booking can be nothing like she is in private. Escorting can be a stressful job: you could have to act like an emotional tampon way more than with civvie, and indeed this is what some men who have been involved with escorts (or strippers) have reported.  And you could lose in the bedroom as well: someone who has had sex all day long -- no matter what quality -- won't be as hungry at the end of the day as someone who hasn't had any.

 

There will always be exceptions, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

 

These are my 2 cents. Best of luck.

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The short list that would guarantee a guy didnt get a date with me

 

peodo

rapist

murderer

sex worker dater

Halitosis

Various skin complaints

 

 

Hope that helps mr sex worker date seeker. If I did date a guy who seeks out sex workers for relationships it would be rather platonic for rather a long period of time…probably till our wedding night actually  :lol:

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I am not interested in conventional relationships at the moment... I am not monogamous and enjoy the spice and adventure that safe, consensual fun brings. I've got a lovely group of friends around me for moral support, I don't want for anything more :)

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I hope that I'm posting this in the right section, but I'm wondering how "escorts"/"sex workers"/"prostitutes" (someone who accepts payment for explicit sexual acts with a client; sorry, I'm not sure what terminology is most preferred) feel about dating/relationships while they're in this line of work.

 

Do you look for "romantic" partners? If so, how do you go about this? And how far into it do you tell the other party about your line of work?

I'm assuming that many people in this field do still seek out emotional intimacy, as I have no reason to presume that they would desire/crave such intimacy any less than someone working in any other field. Though, I would be curious to know how you feel your work effects your sex drive/potential for sexual frustration; do you feel it lowers it (outside of your work)? Or does it not affect it? I'm aware that many girls practising such work don't sexually enjoy their sessions, or are somewhat numb to it, if this is the case for you, do you seek out fun-only partners outside of your work?

 

Do you think that there are many fallbacks to your line of work with regard to developing emotionally satisfying, and stable, romantic relationships? If so, what are these? If there are many, explain the most significant to you.

 

In case you're wondering what's making me ask these things, the past few days I've been pondering over the idea of dating a girl in this field, not a specific girl (I have never been involved with such a person in any manner), and would wonder how girls in this field deal with relationships. (For those interested, I've been considering the thought in a positive light, I can see quite a few potential benefits, which, for me at least, would way the potential downfalls; while profession is not a major consideration for me in relationships, I thought there'd be no harm in collecting opinions/thoughts/feelings from the other side, so enlighten me!)

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

 

Different SP's do different things. Some don't want a romantic relationship. Some are in one with a partner who knows what they do and accepts it. Some lie to their partners and never tell them.

 

I am not looking to get married but I wouldn't mind having a sweetheart - that is, someone I was close to and cared about and who cared about me. However, I wouldn't lie to anyone and I don't expect men to be open to a relationship with me because I'm an escort. What I generally do is have sort of casual sex with people in my social circle. There is one guy who has told me that he likes me and doesn't care about the escorting: "That's what you *do* and not what you *are.*" He's a lovely person and a friend but I am not really interested in him romantically (nor does he seem particularly hung up on me.)

 

How does it affect me sexually? Well, I still enjoy recreational sex. However I probably want it less often than a "normal" girl would if she were in a relationship. I don't have a whole lot of personal time due to family commitments in addition to work, but I think I'd like to have someone I spoke to/texted on a nearly daily basis and slept with maybe once a week or once a fortnight. I enjoy sex very much but I I don't actually want to be up all night fucking because, you know, I don't want to be sore for the next three days. LOL.  I'd just like for someone to really care about me and fancy me and be fun to be with, but I wouldn't have a whole lot to offer such a person. Maybe a long-distance-sorta relationship would be cool.

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Many do.  And why not, they are human also.

 

But what they do is comparmentalise.  For them sex in a relationship is different to sex in work.  And let's be honest, there can be no love in sex with us clients.  they only get us off so they get their money and the likelihood of return lol.. well it's true, just like in any other economic activity.

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Many do.  And why not, they are human also.

 

But what they do is comparmentalise.  For them sex in a relationship is different to sex in work.  And let's be honest, there can be no love in sex with us clients.  they only get us off so they get their money and the likelihood of return lol.. well it's true, just like in any other economic activity.

 

You're probably right and any idea punters might have to the contrary is likely to be wishful thinking. I do wonder if your speculations about 'them' are fully justified though

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If a WG has sex with her bf/husband, then surely this is more meaningful and loving than with a client, even if he's a long time regular. 

 

That said, I think clients dating WGs is rare, though to say it never does or can happen is not true.

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I don't get this EE vs UK women thing.  Not to be crude, but isn't a boob a boob, a BJ a BJ, and pussy a pussy?  So where the WG comes from IMO is immaterial, provided she is good at her job and looks attractive.  I guess if somebody has a preference for UK WGs, fine, but to me I guess a woman is a woman and her nationality and/or ethnicity does not matter or mean much. 

 

The difference exists, yet it may fly over a punter's head if he cares only about the raw physical side of the booking. If instead he notices more subtle things, then he will quickly realize that escorts from different countries can act differently, or at least send a different vibe. For instance, humour is a local phenomenon, and even if a foreign escort is fluent in your language, your humour could be incomprehensible to her, and hers to you. Hence, if you enjoy banter during a booking, a foreign escort could be less of a match.

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I am not interested in conventional relationships at the moment... I am not monogamous and enjoy the spice and adventure that safe, consensual fun brings. I've got a lovely group of friends around me for

moral support, I don't want for anything more :)

ahhhhh fantastic, just the way it is with many people, civilian or wg.... So lia fancy a date this weekend...I know a real nice..... Lol

....

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There should be no issues with a relationship if both parties love, trust and respect each other...i rest my case as life is simple, why complicate it...

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