bethom

Would You Give Up Punting If You Wanted To Enter A Relationship?

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I'm in love with this woman, and want to ask her out, but then I have been punting for several years now.  I have been more focused to be honest on moving countries, career, etc. but now it's different. 

 

I couldn't cheat on her and to be honest going to a parlour/escort would be destroying to her, and I couldn't do anything to hurt her.  

 

So, should things go to plan and we become serious, should I spend years possibly away from parlour and escorts?  I know only I can make this decision, but I was interested what people thought as this must be a common scenario for punters.

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Horses for courses and all that,and as you said," I know only I can make this decision".With that in mind i will just give you my personal stance which as you may guess is purely for me.Would i stop? Yes.There are several reasons why which would purely be waffle so i wont go into them.Will say however that it is purely academic as with certain personal situations,the possability of a relationship is some way off.

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Yes definitely

Can't say how long that would last though

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I'm in love with this woman, and want to ask her out, but then I have been punting for several years now.  I have been more focused to be honest on moving countries, career, etc. but now it's different. 

 

I couldn't cheat on her and to be honest going to a parlour/escort would be destroying to her, and I couldn't do anything to hurt her.  

 

So, should things go to plan and we become serious, should I spend years possibly away from parlour and escorts?  I know only I can make this decision, but I was interested what people thought as this must be a common scenario for punters.

Your opening statement suggests that you want a first date with a lady you fancy.  If this is the case then it is too early to call it love.  Stop paying for sex for now; ask her out; see how you get on.  If you grow fond of each other and it becomes a loving relationship then concentrate on nurturing what you have together.  Punting would be a distraction and, in any case, you have said that you could not cheat on her.  I wish you all the best!

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Softee ......... has you never fallen in love with a woman that way?

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My answer would be yes, just the way many escorts give up because they meet a man they think they will be forever with.  Bottom line everything can turn sour but ultimately you have to think about long term happiness.

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Unrequited love from afar is still love. Not saying this will be unrequited but still, if you have known someone for a while love is still love even if they dont know they are loved x

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Softee ......... has you never fallen in love with a woman that way?

A very good answer, Frank, and I should know better because when I first saw my wife, it was love at first sight, at least on my part!  But let's be honest, at that stage I was only attracted to her physically.  Love is very difficult to define and it can take many forms - we love our parents, our children, our close friends, our pets, music, food ............ and so on.  But my advice to you still stands; you won't know till you try.

By the way, my wife and I have been married for 30 years and she's still as beautiful as the day we first met.

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i think i would give up punting if I got into a relationship, although that hasn't been put to the test yet.

 

i suspect, also, that if the sex started to wane within the relationship, I would be a prime candidate for a 'relapse'! I've been having it too good.....

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Softee ..... you really are aren't you ;-)

And Chloe well put. I have never got over, nor ever will, my love for a woman I never more than hugged and kissed on the cheek, made worse by fully believing that she loved me too

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tried and it didnt last, went back to punting after a month oh well

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If I'm with someone then I don't look elsewhere. If and when I become single again, I can choose to visit escorts.

 

I know some on here are married and have their reasons for seeing SP's, but from my perspective I'd not like to find out my lady had been seeing male escorts.

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I've knocked punting on the head, when Ive been in relationships. I found stopping punting easy, however stopping looking at forums like this - i found to be harder! haha

 

If you develop a strong relationship then you'll never miss punting (at least I didnt). We're all different though - you wont know until you try it :)

 

For me, the guilt would of been to much to handle :mellow:

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I'm in love with this woman, and want to ask her out, but then I have been punting for several years now.  I have been more focused to be honest on moving countries, career, etc. but now it's different. 

 

I couldn't cheat on her and to be honest going to a parlour/escort would be destroying to her, and I couldn't do anything to hurt her.  

 

So, should things go to plan and we become serious, should I spend years possibly away from parlour and escorts?  I know only I can make this decision, but I was interested what people thought as this must be a common scenario for punters.

I hope it works out as you want it to. I would continue to punt although maybe not in the initial honeymoon period of not being able to keep our hands off each other.

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Softee ..... you really are aren't you ;-)

 

I'm not sure what you mean, Frank.  Do you mean I really am in love? 

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If I met a woman who would sleep with me I would stop punting. When I was with mrs Lessingham her complete indifference to sex drove me up the wall and destroyed my sexual confidence. Punting is a fantasy world I enter where the woman makes me believe in myself again for a hour. A relationship that gave me the feeling in reality would make punting redundant

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Softee ..... you really are aren't you ;-)

 

While I was on the train earlier today it occurred to me that maybe you meant I am exactly what my name says - a softee!  If so, then you're dead right.

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I hope I would have the integrity to stop it. So far the point is moot.

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I can't quite reconcile being in a love with a woman and wanting to punt

 

when I have been in love in my life - I have been so focused on the woman that sex, in a way, ceased to have any appeal - expect with that woman I was in love with

 

but I am not in love now - so my mind is always on every babe I see

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I have done the opposite: I have given up having a relationship for punting. Or rather, punting has lessened the need for a relationship enough that I feel free to pursue other goals that would be incompatible  I have female friends, but that is it.

 

How old are you, Bethom?  Maybe it is just "family rabies"... I caught it when I was about 35.  How long could it last? For me, it was a few years, but I wasn't a punter then.

 

In any case, I wish you all the best.

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Ok everyone, just talkinf about ones' self here and not commenting on anyones relationship whether thats wg or punter. But I dont punt in relationships, not just because of cheating factor...but also the respect when it comes to exposure to stds.

I guess punters take it on board that any activity comes with risk, you accept, know the score and carry on -fine. So indulging in a punt every month with a bit of gfe, owo, o, etc etc, would increase ones exposure to stds...im talking probability here and comparing that to being monogomous (and not engaging in sexual acts with wgs or other women)

But punters and wg accept that exposure and enjoy ouselves and the lifestyle continues - thats the choice that people freely make. BUT the wife or gf at home hasnt made that choice so for that reason amongst others it'd be a no no....but thats just meeeee

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Your opening statement suggests that you want a first date with a lady you fancy.  If this is the case then it is too early to call it love.  Stop paying for sex for now; ask her out; see how you get on.  If you grow fond of each other and it becomes a loving relationship then concentrate on nurturing what you have together.  Punting would be a distraction and, in any case, you have said that you could not cheat on her.  I wish you all the best!

 

Haven't been online for a while and remembered this thread. 

 

Well love or any emotion to me is not that logical, but then I haven't been punting regularly as I want to prepare myself for lulls as it were (well if I have sex with her I don't need to go to a parlour/indie).  But thanks anyhow. 

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I have done the opposite: I have given up having a relationship for punting. Or rather, punting has lessened the need for a relationship enough that I feel free to pursue other goals that would be incompatible  I have female friends, but that is it.

 

How old are you, Bethom?  Maybe it is just "family rabies"... I caught it when I was about 35.  How long could it last? For me, it was a few years, but I wasn't a punter then.

 

In any case, I wish you all the best.

 

I am 34.  

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I hope it works out as you want it to. I would continue to punt although maybe not in the initial honeymoon period of not being able to keep our hands off each other.

 

I guess everybody is different, and we all have our own ethical standards.  To me though, I don't think I could be comfortable punting in a relationship, but then we're all different as said.

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