hellogorgeous

Infatuation

78 posts in this topic

Hello all

 

This week I saw a lady for the first time.  Honestly, it was the most affection anyone has ever shown me in my life and I felt extremely rewarded by the meeting.

 

Unfortunately I now feel very infatuated with the girl I saw.  Obviously I know on a concious level that whatever took place only happened because of an exchange of money, but my sub-concious clearly doesn't appreciate that.  I can't stop thinking about the lady and I have a deep feeling of loss that I have only experienced a handful of times before.

 

I want to see the girl again so much, although I know that may well be a mistake.  In any case, even if I wanted to I could not fund the amount of lust (?) I have right now even for a few weeks - and I am acutely aware of the boundaries of a client/lady relationship.

 

Anyway, I wondered if any of you had ever experienced similar feelings before, and how you overcame them or rationalised them?  Did you see the lady again?  Does it get easier as you see more ladies?

 

I am probably an unusual case as I have never been very successful with women in the past (I am totally undateable) but I would really appreciate your thoughts.

 

x

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You need to remember that she's only in it for the money. Her job is to show you affection and trick you into thinking that she really is your girlfriend. 

 

Sounds like she did a very good job of it.

 

Almost certainly she doesn't have any feelings for you whatsoever and has possibly forgotten you already.

 

Sorry if that comes across as harsh but thats the reality in my opinion. You don't want to get too attached to her - in my opinion don't see her again.

 

You think you're undateable? A friend of mine who previously described himself as 'undateable' recently got married and is as happy as I've ever seen anyone with his lady. There really is somebody for everyone out there. Mostly all you need with women is a bit of confidence (but not arrogance) and just be genuine with them. Don't try too hard mate, it'll happen if you want it to.

 

I'd suggest doing something - anything really - to take your mind off it. Go and have a beer or two with mates, play footy, golf, x box, whatever floats your boat. I like to get out and do something personally.

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I feel for you as the same happened to me four years ago and I am still not over it.  In my case,  I took it a stage further and spent two weeks with her in exchange for a small sum of money, as she had only just got into the 'game' and wanted to get out of it.  She made it clear that we would spend time together, which was fabulous in every way, but at the end she would return to her country and I to mine.  I still treasure those memories and think of her every day. 

 

I cannot advise you as in many ways I am glad I did what I did. Others will tell you to to walk away.

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My first couple of punts were a bit of a disaster. I then came across a very good wg who, in retrospect, I did develop feelings for. Not infatuation but she was so nice to me that I did think she genuinely liked me for me rather than for my money. That's not the the case. WG's are in it as a business. I would think that the majority of them also happen to like sex but probably very rarely get to shag a guy they actually want to. So enjoy it for what it is which is a business transaction which is probably more enjoyable for the punter than the girl.

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Hello all

This week I saw a lady for the first time. Honestly, it was the most affection anyone has ever shown me in my life and I felt extremely rewarded by the meeting.

Unfortunately I now feel very infatuated with the girl I saw. Obviously I know on a concious level that whatever took place only happened because of an exchange of money, but my sub-concious clearly doesn't appreciate that. I can't stop thinking about the lady and I have a deep feeling of loss that I have only experienced a handful of times before.

I want to see the girl again so much, although I know that may well be a mistake. In any case, even if I wanted to I could not fund the amount of lust (?) I have right now even for a few weeks - and I am acutely aware of the boundaries of a client/lady relationship.

Anyway, I wondered if any of you had ever experienced similar feelings before, and how you overcame them or rationalised them? Did you see the lady again? Does it get easier as you see more ladies?

I am probably an unusual case as I have never been very successful with women in the past (I am totally undateable) but I would really appreciate your thoughts.

x

Good post, OP. It's nice to see a serious issue being raised. It sounds like post-coital melancholy. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_petite_mort Edited by TheCrow7

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Heya.....Assume you're a guy? the 'x' you signed off with confused me!?

Hate to say it, but it may just be a case of the girl being good at her job. You're in a situation where you're paying a girl for her undivided attention. Some girls are very tacticle, and it can be easy to think there is more to it than there is. When a pretty girl makes you feel good about yourself it's an amazing feeling, so understandably you want to believe the feeling is mutual.

I can get quite easily attached to people, and I'm conscious of this, so always remind myself that it's just a service and the reality is that I'm probably not the only guy leaving feeling that way. It's a great feeling coming out of a booking and getting the added bonus of thinking 'wow, she actually like me!'. Any girl who knows the value of repeat business should aim to make you feel this way.

How does the thought of her seeing other clients make you feel? If you feel jealous then you're probably already too emotionally involved and it might be better to step back. There's a line between being friendly with a girl and becoming obsessive.

If you can't keep your emotions in check, then you do need to think more rationally about the situation. You also have to think about it from her position, any guy getting too emotionally close could come across as a bit scary. As you say there are boundaries, and crossing them may make her feel awkward.

Good luck with whatever you decide :)

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This week I saw a lady for the first time.  Honestly, it was the most affection anyone has ever shown me in my life and I felt extremely rewarded by the meeting.

 

Do you mean that it was your first booking ever?  If so, then...

 

Does it get easier as you see more ladies?

 

...yes, it does.

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I've been infatuated with a few girls I've seen.

Going from getting myself in debt so I can keep seeing one every week and even thinking I had seriously fallen for one when she suggested we see each other outside of work (which completely fell apart within days of being suggested).

I've fallen in 'love' with at least one girl I've seen.

The only thing I can suggest, even though at the moment it may seem impossible to you, is to see another girl as soon as you can. More than one.

After you've seen maybe a half dozen other girls, go back and see the first one again.

You'll get just as much physical pleasure again as the first time, but your head will probably be in a better place with regards to the emotional side of it.

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get rid f the infatuation quikcly, go see some more women, as it is not healthy

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It is a dangerous game we play. I would humbly suggest that when we book sessions longer than 30 minutes we are paying for more than sex and emotional satisfaction is looked for as well. Most punters and working girls are able to close down these feelings at the end of the session leaving a warm glow and good memories. Sometimes this does not happen and infatuation blooms. It never ends well. Either the girl will drop the boom and never see you again or you will bankrupt yourself chasing a butterfly of fantasy. Take the advice of the people above and walk away a punter with happy memories.

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I defend myself by having four ladies I see on a basis of fairly strict rotation. Two of them have birthdays this week.

It feels like affection with all of them from my perspective. It's just a matter of finding girls you feel comfortable with.

C

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Heya.....Assume you're a guy? the 'x' you signed off with confused me!?

 

 

Hmm, I noticed that in their first post too :)  Waiting for the amazing woman to be named.

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Hi HG, welcome to the forum.

The road you have started on is a dangerous one. Are you by nature an obsessive person ? If so, my advice is to not see this girl again. She is simply good at her job and won't have any feelings for you whatsoever, beyond wanting you to feel you got VFM from the booking. The last thing she will need is a clingy client who can't sort out the difference between punting and dating.

You say you are aware of the client/prostitute boundaries and that is good. If you feel you can stick to them, perhaps another booking might get it out of your system, but I doubt it.

My best advice echoes the others. Go and see some other ladies and file your encounter with this wonder girl in your memory bank as one of life's treasured (but not to be repeated) memories.

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Oh don't worry this infatuation will go eventually. I'm also what may be called " infatuated" with few of my clients, which makes it so much more enjoyable ( when I think about it, gives me a good, warm feeling inside). Offcourse,you have to be sensible and keep the boundaries.

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Yesterday I became 'infatuated' with two dresses although I did not get out of the house to buy anything but hey, they looked nice, classy and elegant, in black, can be worn in the office and they were not expensive either.  I do not need them as I have lots of classy dresses which I seem to buy for many years but they have those 'modern' touches, plus I noticed my athletic body looked nice when I unzipped them up to my bottom........  I will wear them several times per year, they will be forgotten for several years and probably after I will further adjust them to match the fashion in some 4-5 years' time.  And no, they will not be forgotten however squashed they will be on their hangers between other dresses.

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I don't want to pour cold water on what was obviously a good experience for the OP, but we hear this so often on here and we all know that whilst the lady probably did enjoy the encounter (can't see how she could make any man feel like that if she was just going through the motions) but I can guarantee she will kiss him out of the door and start to look forward to the next fun experience and he will be forgotten until the next time if there is one.  She definitely will not be giving him a second thought.

 

Sorry hun.

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Sorry, but I disagree, we are not all the same.  I have such a great memory, I might not remember somebody unless he had a face change but I might remember every single details of our meeting: some time ago I met a Swiss guy with his friend and there came a Kazach girl.  Long after the 2h finished the friend of 'my guy' called and only then I learned that he stayed with that girl some one hour only, whereas we could not get enough of eachother.  I remember until now his 'thingie', his energy!!!!!!

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It is a dangerous game we play. I would humbly suggest that when we book sessions longer than 30 minutes we are paying for more than sex and emotional satisfaction is looked for as well. Most punters and working girls are able to close down these feelings at the end of the session leaving a warm glow and good memories. Sometimes this does not happen and infatuation blooms. It never ends well. Either the girl will drop the boom and never see you again or you will bankrupt yourself chasing a butterfly of fantasy. Take the advice of the people above and walk away a punter with happy memories.

I agree with the sentiment about the danger. If we are honest, we all know that we are playing with fire, which is part of the attraction but we still do it. The way I look at it is to draw a parallel with psychotherapy. You pay to see a therapist, perhaps as often as two or three times a week, and in that context there is a huge amount of emotional exchange, and trust. The process is called transference (patient projecting all their needs and insecurities on to the analyst), and (counter-transference) the analyst drawing on their own inner emotional resources to support the patient. Analyst and patient get on with their lives outside the consulting room, and the emotional intensity is contained within the "form" of the analytical relationship which, like escorting, is commercial and has its own code of conduct.

So, by analogy, what happens on a booking can be emotionally real, sometimes for both parties, but the form is what keeps both parties out of harms's way. The trick for happiness is to accept what happens in a booking (which can sometimes be mindblowing in many ways) but then to just let it go.

I would endorse other suggestions like seeing other ladies to displace the agony, and suggest setting a budget is wise. Play around a bit, then go back after, say, a month and see how it feels. You may well then wonder what all the fuss was about. There's also a whole load of stuff I could get into about mindfulness and non-attachment, but I'll leave that for another time.

Sometimes, if you are very lucky, you can end up in a regular long term arrangement with a particular lady where you both look forward to seeing each other. That takes a lot of trust and is something that happens over time, if at all, and it would be emotional suicide for you if you were to even consider building that kind of relationship on the basis of one meeting, and I would imagine pretty disconcerting for her too. If she gets a sense that you are after more than she is prepared to offer, she will let know you in no uncertain terms.

Finally, although we are none of us immune from the lightning strike, it can help being very honest with yourself about exactly what you are looking for in a punt, including your own emotional needs, fears and insecurities. At least that way your will know where you are vulnerable and take appropriate care.

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Thank you all for the kind and helpful responses.  This post seems to have generated a lot of interest so I'm sorry I can't reply to every one of you (but I have read all your guidance).

 

I am definitely an extremely obsessive person, especially with women, but over time I have learnt to control this to avoid frightening them away.  The girl I saw was amazing in every imaginable way and certainly made me feel as if we were in a genuine relationship - we were extremely passionate towards each other.

 

Regardless of whether it is in my best interests emotionally, I absolutely want to see the lady again - but I will certainly take your advice and see someone else in between.  I think that will give me a better emotional perspective on the situation.  For all I know she won't want to see me again anyway...

 

This experience has very much shown me how important sexuality is to my life, so even if I am exposing myself to danger I fel it is too late to turn back now.  I can only refer to the anecodotes you've given and be very careful when making decisions in future.

 

@BoyMK: Yes, I am a guy.  I don't feel jealous of her being with other men, however it is very hard to make that link anyway (it feels very intangiable having never seen her with someone else).

 

@Danish Pia: Discretion works both ways of course - I wish I could tell you, but if she ever saw this I am certain I would not be welcome again.

 

Thanks all.

 

x

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I saw one lady 3 days in a row . Is that infatuation ?  I felt protective of her and kept up an occasional link with her when she returned to her own country . Still look in on her site every now and again. 

 

I am in a very loving relationship anyway, so this really prevents any escalation of feelings.

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I saw one lady 3 days in a row . Is that infatuation ?

Nah, that's pure greediness :D.

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I experienced strong feelings for a wg still do but not so intense.   I used to think about her all of the time. It wasn't healthy.  She is very good at her job, very attractive, very good at getting me to part with my Wonga but I still regard her as a friend rather than a wg now!  However, seeing some other nice ladies made it much easier so I am not  so hooked on the one!  Perhaps suggest seeing a few more girls so not so dependent on one may help?

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................

 

There's also a whole load of stuff I could get into about mindfulness and non-attachment, but I'll leave that for another time

 

..........................

 

 

Yes, probably best; it was a good post until you mentioned ‘mindfulness’.  

 

Now I want to kick puppies through a ceiling fan.

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Don't you dare Nero!......   If you do I'll have to kick your balls bloody hard.  Mind you knowing what I know you would probably enjoy that. :angry::D

Edited by Holly Maddison

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I always have it clear in my mind that no matter how friendly an escort is (which often will be genuine) and now loving they might appear it is just because they are very good at what they do.

I have met some really lovely lasses over the past few years but having this clear in my mind means that I have never become attached to anyone. I suppose it is easier said than done.

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