solentmag

No Fool Like An Old Fool

57 posts in this topic

Yesterday was my 61st birthday and booked, as my birthday treat, an hour with a beautiful mature woman who I have seen twice before although it took some time to do what a man needs to do. She is the only professional woman I have seen and was I looking forward to it?

 

I had one hell of a day at work and altough I am on own with 5 kids and still have a 13 and 10 year at home who were playing up as soon as got home because they knew I was going out. I am a diabetic and very up and down without being very careful and was not feeling great. It took me ages to get to the appointment and was I stressed?

 

I flopped big style. No matter what she could do for me, I just could not get an erection. Not the womans fault at all and she was great about things but my hour just consisted of kisses and cuddles and was glad when it was over. I went home dumped my car and went to my tennis club and watched my football team TV get stuffed.

 

I have never felt so old and past it and I admit that when I left the club, I was close to tears.

 

Had to deburden myself and say it.

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Hey, if you're looking after 5 kids on your own then you can't be past in - no wonder you get knackered sometimes!

Let's hope next time makes up for it. Worth investigating the obvious medication perhaps, or is that a no-no for diabetics?

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Hi, well done for talking about it, trust me it helps. Have a chat with your Doc, hope some better luck comes your way soon. :)

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I can't say that's ever happened to me. But, stress is easily responsible for loss of performance. Don't beat yourself up.

 

What I would do in your circumstances is to get back in the saddle as soon as possible--the best advice following a fall. If finances allow, contact the lady again--she seems a reasonable sort of person from what you say in your post--she knows exactly what happened to you and will understand why. Explain to her that the last visit left you depressed, and you want to get it out of your system. Agree an appointment with her that you can cancel if your stress levels are high. Try and have a relaxing time before you go, and only go if all is well. You don't want a repeat non-performance. You will probably realise it was a one-off last time and have a great hour.

 

The sooner you get the memory erased from your brain the better. Conversely, the longer you leave it, the more difficult it will be, and the more likely a repeat of last time because you will be stressing about whether you can perform.

 

I bet, and hope, this will cure the problem.

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at least you had a mature woman that understood

and sometimes its not all about the sex for the punter or the wg some punters just like some   female company

im glad she understood and don't think you let her down because shes there for that hour or so just to please you not herself

iv had punters that have spent most of the time they booked  just talking about their problems and say they feel better now they have had someone to talk to

not all the men come just for the sex some come for the understanding company as well

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Hi Solentmag.  Your honesty and courage to speak openly about this are not only admirable but what this forum is all about. As others have suggested, your lifestyle must surely be a contributory facor.  Even so, you must certainly visit your GP in the first instance because help is available as I did. 

 

All the best and keep us updated. 

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In my lurid past I worked in a Diabetes Resource Centre.  Stress is one of the key factors in sending your blood sugar levels out of kilter.. Even the visit to the clinic can send your blood sugar toxic.

 

I realise it was your birthday, and that probably in itself contributed to your feelings of not feeling too good.

 

All I would say to you is - next time you want to see a lady for fun, make sure you reduce the stress to yourself - or at least lessen it.  I don't know your circumstances but I do know that children of all ages can be an absolute pain at times, though you may dearly love them :)

 

Plan it a little better next time and be kind to yourself because it looks like nobody else will be.  *I am a member of that particular society*

 

Take care x

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Hi Solentmag

There have been many debates here about ED medication but Levitra is generally accepted to be the best treatment for a diabetic.

Don't buy mail order generic, sounds obvious but you should see you GP given your underlying diabetes.

I believe as a registered diabetic you'll get a certain number of pills on your NHS prescription rather than have to buy an expensive private prescription.

I haven't checked but I doubt the Lloyd's online Dr will supply a diabetic if you declare it.

See your GP and book another lady soon.

DG

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Buy a blue pill, (100mg)  cut it into 4 equal pieces, take a 1/4 of the pill, and within 20 minutes, you will feel 30 years younger.

 

It tastes a bit bitter, it can give you a red face, and a slight headache, but no more ED problems.

 

The effects can last for 2-3 days, so be prepared for stirrings a-midship.

 

If you are good at pill cutting, 1/8 can work for about 1-2 days. 

 

I had the same problem with a stunning blonde at Steam and Sun in Kings Cross. She was naked and lying in front of me, and nothing happened. I thought if she cannot make it happen, I need pharmaceutical help. They had some pills at the entrance counter. That was many years ago, and I have had no problems since. BTW we are comtemporaneous. 

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Happy Birthday by the way.

I too am getting to your age and sometimes wonder when the last shag is going to arrive. Every erection is examined for signs of weakness and I fret it will last.

Everybody flops, ask Steve Gerrard! The trick is to get up and give it another go without dwelling on the flop.

You seemed to have had a good time with what sounds like a wonderful woman, concentrate on that. So, you did not get to the main event, maybe next time eh? From what you say, I doubt most men could not rise to the occasion of the day you had. And I hope at least one of those five kids bought their dad a great card!

I hope your next punt is hassle free and full of great sex.

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Even the most healthy fit young man can sometimes not get get it up for a variety of reasons whether it be tiredness, nerves, stress, alcohol or just one of those things. The penis has a mind of it's own very often!

 

Don't let one experience of not getting hard worry you, in fact worrying about it next time will probably make matters worse so you really have to not get into a cycle of fretting.

 

It might help to go next time without any expectations of full sex, and just enjoy what your escort has to offer. If you go in thinking about your hard on and then spend spend too much time focusing on getting it hard then it's less likely to happen. I find with men not getting hard the best thing to do is to stop playing with the cock but do something else. Once the cock thinks he isn't getting attention he'll be all hard and shouting me me me! Touch me! (not literally obviously!) 

 

Whilst all the advice is well meant I wouldn't resort to pills just yet, it was a one off and you also need to remember that many men then can not come once they have taken Viagra (or similar) which is just as frustrating.

 

If it keeps happening then yes a trip to your GP is in order. Any decent GP wouldn't give you a prescription based on one failing anyway. 

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Congratulations for having the courage (I nearly wrote "balls") to post about your non successful punt. Part of me thinks that you gave it too much of a build up in your head; that can happen to all of us from time to time.

 

I realise that opportunities may be hard to come by without a good deal of planning on your part, but if the chance arises for an unplanned punt I would grab the chance and see if you are less affected by the build up

 

Good luck.

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I agree with Paul, sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves and it can end up having the opposite effect.  Sounds to me like you need a little bit of help maybe with those kids  (I had a hoard too so know what it's like), as Sarah said you need some me time, pamper yourself and look after yourself.

 

Medication for Diabetes can cause ED so maybe you need a little chat with the doc and next time plan better and make sure your leaving some distressing time before you meet your lady.

 

Huge belated virtual Holly birthday hug coming your way xxxx

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Solentmag, I can sympathise with your position. Not the first time for me. As others have said, the stress was probably the main cause of your problem. Because my problem is becoming increasingly regular, I try to find other ways to ensure I have a good meeting. Sometimes ensuring the lady has a good time, can a. lift your spirits and b. give you a pleasant surprise before leaving. If you take your mind off of your body, and focus on the lady, you will probably enjoy more. If you are able a good talk with your GP will also help get you back to winning ways. Relax, do not worry and enjoy your next meeting, just forget about the previous one.

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In general terms i would not beat yourself up over what occured on Monday. But one small change could make a huge difference to your quality of life and mental well being - stop supporting Newcastle United.

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All I'd like to add is that you've got the title of this thread all wrong. No-one who posts with such honesty and self knowledge can possibly be described as a fool. 

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Apparently even when you've had viagra you can still loose your erection...because it happened to me! I try and work on having the right attitude and realise iam a human being at the end of the day and not frickin superman! Just like sps can have a bad day, then so can I...I keep going to my punts and try my best that's all I can do.

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Its all been said above, but to the OP I will add, don't beat yourself up over this. Late middle age, stress, single parenthood and diabetes is a hefty burden to bear and the odd performance issue is inevitable. I was exactly10 years younger than you when my first failure to rise to the occasion occured. I have successfully had sex a few hundred times since :D.

The key is not to dwell on it and turn a temporary physical reaction into a big mental block. I would try again at a more relaxed time and see how you go. If the result is similar, then perhaps investigate the GP/little blue pill options but if you have managed without them to date, you may have a lot more left in the tank. Best of luck.

Edited by Kantos Kan
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Happened recently to me too. Felt awful as well and I really wanted that punt to go well. :mellow:

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Buy a blue pill, (100mg)  cut it into 4 equal pieces, take a 1/4 of the pill, and within 20 minutes, you will feel 30 years younger.

 

It tastes a bit bitter, it can give you a red face, and a slight headache, but no more ED problems.

 

The effects can last for 2-3 days, so be prepared for stirrings a-midship.

 

If you are good at pill cutting, 1/8 can work for about 1-2 days. 

 

I had the same problem with a stunning blonde at Steam and Sun in Kings Cross. She was naked and lying in front of me, and nothing happened. I thought if she cannot make it happen, I need pharmaceutical help. They had some pills at the entrance counter. That was many years ago, and I have had no problems since. BTW we are comtemporaneous.

I don't doubt your experiences with Viagra, but this doesn't match mine and according to what I have read doesn't match that of most people either.

For a start it only has an effect on about 70% of men (I believe it is less in diabetic men). And it's effects last only 2-4 hours for the majority of users (which is my experience), not 2-3 days. You are incredibly lucky Zzzorro for 25mg of Sildenafil have that effect on you.

If the OP is considering ED meds, he should go and see his GP first and get checked out as well as discuss the viable options.

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Can I make one more suggestion, which is the third way as it were. Have you considered something different? For example save up to increase your budget to add a third party. This could be to have a second lady to form a bisexual duo or find a lady who has another man. You could then share the experience of having all the foreplay fun, and watching her get fucked either by a guy or a girl with a dildo or strap on, whilst she sucks or wanks you off. The extra party may excite you naturally to be able to finish inside of the lady yourself. By having the third party there the pressure is off you to perform, you are there to participate and have fun.

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Its all been said above, but to the OP I will add, don't beat yourself up over this. Late middle age, stress, single parenthood and diabetes is a hefty burden to bear and the odd performance issue is inevitable. I was exactly10 years younger than you when my first failure to rise to the occasion occured. I have successfully had sex a few hundred times since :D.

The key is not to dwell on it and turn a temporary physical reaction into a big mental block. I would try again at a more relaxed time and see how you go. If the result is similar, then perhaps investigate the GP/little blue pill options but if you have managed without them to date, you may have a lot more left in the tank. Best of luck.

Oddly enough I was exactly 10 years younger than the OP when I experienced an equipment malfunction during a punt! Looking back I know exactly why, and although there were no medical reasons to contend with it was definitely down to a combination of anxiety, stress and generally having a shit of a day leading up to the punt.

Definitely have a word with your GP before going down the route of ED medication and see what he recommends.

For the next punt after my "flop" I took a Levitra beforehand as I didn't want to risk any more issues. I also did everything I could to ensure the day leading up to the punt was as stress and worry free as possible - easier said than done when you have a young family to look after I know. The punt went like a dream, I still have 3 of the 4 Levitra tablets left after a couple of dozen or more punts since but I always take them along just for peace of mind! I tend to prefer longer bookings so if things look like they're not going to happen I'd still have time to take one and rescue the punt.

Don't beat yourself up about it, and I hope everything works out next time - certainly don't give up just yet. Good luck!

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As you will have seen, I am new to this forum (and visiting professional women).

 

I am so glad I posted my message because who can a man share a problem like mine with?

 

Yes, you can talk to your doctor and mine is great. However, I am staggered by the quality of reply, understanding and advice given. Not one stupid or negative remark. Obviously, some of you men have experienced my problem or have the attitude of "I hope it does happen to me". Obviously, some you you professional women have seen it and heard all before and appreciate my problem. I have read every comment and have noted each considered point to help me not to experience this problem again. You lot have really got a grip on what I am talking about,.

 

Mind, there was a great analogy for me and that was Big Johns comment about Newcastle United because they are flopping at the moment!

 

Perhaps its a girlfriend I need but it would be the end for my two youngest if I brought a woman home and its not blackmail, just insecure kids. Ironically again, Sarah Summers, my second eldest is a doctor who studied at Leeds (shared a flat by The Armouries and could have been your neighbour, now doing voluntary work in South Africa), and would love to be able to talk to her but never will or can about this. The thought of never being fully intimate with a woman again horrifies me. Time does not seem to be on my side but have to and will try again.

 

I will let you all know what happens.

 

Anyway, thanks to every one of you who took the time (as at Autosave last night) to reply:

Vin DaLoo

Sammy Milf

georgem

jiily

softee

Sarah Summers

Diamond Geezer

Zzzorro

Lessingham

MinxyLydia

porker paul

Holly Maddison

grateful gentleman

bigjohn9

Bewilderbeeste

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If a woman doesn't get excited, nobody gets upset but when a man doesn't, there's an Inquest !   I think people, men in particular, think that they should automatically  get a boner if they see a naked woman and if not, then they are either gay or need counselling !  

 

I think one can't under- estimate the influence of the WG here. The approach of the lady in the booking can be crucial, at least for me it is. A WG can be very pleasant, look great, be prepared to do this and that but if the client feels a certain 'distance' or a vibe that things are  off kilter , it can have a significant effect on how he client feels and his performance. I suspect every client here knows what I am talking about.

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If a woman doesn't get excited, nobody gets upset but when a man doesn't, there's an Inquest !   I think people, men in particular, think that they should automatically  get a boner if they see a naked woman and if not, then they are either gay or need counselling !  

 

I think one can't under- estimate the influence of the WG here. The approach of the lady in the booking can be crucial, at least for me it is. A WG can be very pleasant, look great, be prepared to do this and that but if the client feels a certain 'distance' or a vibe that things are  off kilter , it can have a significant effect on how he client feels and his performance. I suspect every client here knows what I am talking about.

 

Indeed. We, at any rate, feel we have an obligation to fuck anything that moves. I've never quite understood if this is our pathetic male self-images that are driving us, or if women feel genuinely cheated if they haven't succeeded in making us come - or even maintaining our stiffy.

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