NonVanilla

That Darned Bank Statement

70 posts in this topic

I've recently been on a bit of a silly Punting spree.

As such, when my bank balance arrived, explaining why I need nearly a grand in cash over a month was quite difficult, especially when I haven't come home with either a wardrobe worth of brand new clothes or a 90'' TV.

Thankfully explanation was excepted - I think, but I was wondering if the more experienced punters have had to have similar conversations with the other half.

Do you just dispose of statements before she can get at them?

Do you use a more discrete way of withdrawing your funds that I haven't worked out yet?

I'm contemplating a trickle effect, of taking out bits and bobs rather than the full fee at once, hopefully this would also stem my frequency of punts as I got a tad trigger happy.

Your thoughts gents?

Edited by NonVanilla

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The trickle effect works well. Get cash back every time you go to the supermarket (and throw away your till receipt!).

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You need to be careful now Vanilla, after seeing this bank statement  your wife may develop an interest in your next one too.

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Do you just dispose of statements before she can get at them?

You still receive paper statements? Do you still write cheques and have a savings book ;)

Drag yourself in to the digital revolution.....online statements are your friend.

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You still receive paper statements? Do you still write cheques and have a savings book ;)

Drag yourself in to the digital revolution.....online statements are your friend.

Perhaps in a way but they can't be disposed of like paper ones can, if his wife asked to look at an online statement he couldnt pretend he had lost it. The best thing is to have nothing to show on the statement in the first place

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Open up another bank account and have your mail delivered to your work (if they allow it). Simples. 

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Separate bank accounts, everything online, tell no-one your password. Simples!

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It makes you think there must be a market opening for a 'Punting Fund' with an emphasis on UK stocks expected to 'grow' run by a management company called 'Fidelity'. It would be classed as a SIPP fund ( Sex In Private Places ) and you could draw down 25% tax free on reaching the age of 55, with annuity purchase after that.

For a 0.75% annual fee, you set up the monthly Direct Debit, but rather than wait till retirement you can collect whatever is in there at the counter of TSB in Milton Keynes anytime you like.

Statements would be paperless and annual.

 

Investors in this fund are left with the once only task of explaining why their retirement fund is empty, rather than the monthly game of hiding financial evidence.

 

regards

H. Bongo BA, MPhil, Head of Equities Product Development, Fidelity.

:)

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The simplest way of getting your hands on cold cash is to use your debit card for loads of transactions and get £20 cash back every time. There will be no trace on any statement!!

 

Failing that, open a new account fed from your current account and call it your "Tax Savings Account". In other words you are keeping that cash for the inevitable tax bill from HMRC which will hit you in due course.

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The simplest way of getting your hands on cold cash is to use your debit card for loads of transactions and get £20 cash back every time. There will be no trace on any statement!!

Failing that, open a new account fed from your current account and call it your "Tax Savings Account". In other words you are keeping that cash for the inevitable tax bill from HMRC which will hit you in due course.

Yes, that would work Paul - if the OP is married to a simpleton !!!

Some of the posts on here seem to assume that the women in marriages today still operate in 1950s mode. Back when I was wed, my wife and I ran a joint bank account and she had equal access and management rights over it to me. Truth be told I did all the work, but she could (and did) log on at any time to peruse the household accounts.

"Losing" £1000 in a month would have been hugely noticeable as it would have been a significant proportion of my monthly income. The OP was really unwise to blow such a large amount in such a short time, but I guess he knows that now.

My advice to the OP is to open a seperate, secret current account that you can operate entirely online. The only problem with this is that they will need to send your debit card to your home address. Only you will know if this is a problem.

Then you need to get some income into it. Skimming £20 here and there on other transactions is a start, but won't give you £1000 per month to spend. What you need to do is then maximise input to that secret account. Have you any shares? Can you get the dividends paid into the secret account? What about work expenses, can these be paid to you by cheque or straight into the secret account? Maximise opportunities for other people to pay you by cheque (e.g. Take over organising your annual lads golf weekend - or equivalent). Back to those shares, can you sell some and get the proceed paid into the secret account? If you ever sell things on ebay, siphon your paypal funds into the secret account. Etc, etc.

Finally, don't assume your wife is stupid. She WILL notice if you aren't careful and you must treat yourself as if in last chance city. I would knock the punting on the head for a month or two and use the methods above to build up a fund before starting again.

Best of luck.

Edited by Kantos Kan
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Separate bank accounts, everything online, tell no-one your password. Simples!

Easy said, but if the OP has been running a joint account for many, many years, asking to revert to seperate accounts would sound really fishy. So not so simples really !

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Another suggestion for the OP. Join a cashback site like Quidco. On many online purchases, you will build up a small amount of cashback, which you can get channelled into your secret account. It won't be much money, but every little helps.

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by the way, what was your explanation for the extra spending?

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Thanks for the advise - it was my personal acct under scrutiny, I'm stupid but not stupid enough to use the joint acct.

She wanted to have all the bills moved to the Joint so checked what was coming out of my acct, and it would have looked worse if I had refused to let her see it.

The excuse - company expenses - to get it paid back - gulp?

Luckily I have a bonus, which he is unaware of- which is what I usually use to fund myself,

I think the self imposed ban for a few months is well needed.

(Punting 12 times in a month can't be healthy)

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(Punting 12 times in a month can't be healthy)

 

Absolutely! You'd definitely be at risk of incurring your wife's wrath if you don't temper your activities.

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Thanks for the advise - it was my personal acct under scrutiny, I'm stupid but not stupid enough to use the joint acct.

She wanted to have all the bills moved to the Joint so checked what was coming out of my acct, and it would have looked worse if I had refused to let her see it.

The excuse - company expenses - to get it paid back - gulp?

Luckily I have a bonus, which he is unaware of- which is what I usually use to fund myself,

I think the self imposed ban for a few months is well needed.

(Punting 12 times in a month can't be healthy)

Yes, 3 times a week does seem exceptional to me and I can see how £1000 would go missing very quickly. In my post about taking the odd extra when using a debit card I was assuming that the odd £20 or £30 could be squirreled away without discovery, and placed in a separate account, or even hidden under the mattress!

 

Cl]early that MO is not feasible in this case and I feel a spell of abstinence may be in order.

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(Punting 12 times in a month can't be healthy)

 

Healthy, healthy, what's healthy? And if you went once and spent the rest of the month fretting and brooding over your desire to return? Would that be healthy? There's a story about one of the Greek philosophers - which I can't remember, but not Diogenes, I think, though it's also characteristic of him: he was reproved by someone who saw him coming out of a brothel, and replied that he should only be rebuked if he left his mind behind in the brothel.

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A slow trickle is less noticeable than a flood, gently does it.

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The trickle effect works well. Get cash back every time you go to the supermarket (and throw away your till receipt!).

This is what I've been doing for years.  It works well because I'm retired so I do most of the shopping.  My wife & I have only one account now which is joint. Statements have been paper-free for years and she leaves everything to me.  I call myself the domestic secretary!   She takes whatever cash she needs out of my wallet which is always in the same drawer when I'm at home

I get cashback less and less now.  I have a hiding place where I simply put small amounts occasionally.  I limit my spending much more than the OP and try to stick to a punting budget of no more than £80 an hour every 2 weeks. 

Bugger me, I hope she's not punting!

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This is what I've been doing for years.  It works well because I'm retired so I do most of the shopping.  My wife & I have only one account now which is joint. Statements have been paper-free for years and she leaves everything to me.  I call myself the domestic secretary!   She takes whatever cash she needs out of my wallet which is always in the same drawer when I'm at home

I get cashback less and less now.  I have a hiding place where I simply put small amounts occasionally.  I limit my spending much more than the OP and try to stick to a punting budget of no more than £80 an hour every 2 weeks. 

Bugger me, I hope she's not punting!

Only with me!! and in deference to you, I am keeping the rate low :)

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Thanks for the advise - it was my personal acct under scrutiny, I'm stupid but not stupid enough to use the joint acct.She wanted to have all the bills moved to the Joint so checked what was coming out of my acct, and it would have looked worse if I had refused to let her see it.The excuse - company expenses - to get it paid back - gulp?Luckily I have a bonus, which he is unaware of- which is what I usually use to fund myself,I think the self imposed ban for a few months is well needed.(Punting 12 times in a month can't be healthy)

It doesn't really matter whether its a joint account or a personal account if your wife has scrutiny over the outgoings. You need to do something to get your punting expenditure out of visibility.

Also, I wouldn't assume that your wife totally bought the work expenses story. £1K in cash on work expenses in a month is mighty odd. Expect to be under the microscope (and for her to expect recompense from your employer in the next few weeks) for a while yet, so be very, very careful.

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(Punting 12 times in a month can't be healthy)

 

good lad.

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I run the house solo, my OH doesn't even see the utility bills let alone my bank statements.

Fortunately what's mine is very much mine along with all the bills.

DG

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Not keen on threads like this; all about deceit and concealing dishonesty. Rather ugly to me.

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Not keen on threads like this; all about deceit and concealing dishonesty. Rather ugly to me.

sums up punting for me!

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