steveyg1984

How To Stop Punters From Coming To My Door

65 posts in this topic

For the last few months, almost every evening I am in (particularly weekends), someone rings my doorbell. When I answer, it's always a nervous looking man, and they usually either run off immediately, or say something about me not being who they were expecting and then run off, or run off and get on the phone to someone. It took me ages to clock onto what they were after (at first I thought drugs).

 

Whilst at first it was mildly amusing - they pull some funny faces when a beardy fat bloke opens the door - I've now grown tired of the interruptions.

 

I live in an area that is poorly represented by most satnav systems, in particular it's easy to get my address xx street A mixed up with xx street B - due to the way the road bends and the flats are set back, our doors are more or less opposite each other. Anyway, I thought that was the most likely candidate so I went round. An eastern european chap answered the door, his english wasn't great, not sure we really understood each other. Anyway it didn't work, still people are coming round to mine. So either he was the wrong guy, or he was the right guy and didn't understand, or he was the right guy and didn't care.

 

So, solutions?

 

I've got no idea where they are getting the wrong address from. And nobody who is willing to engage in conversation. Is there way to phrase "who were you planning on shagging tonight?" that will get them to answer?

 

Should I go back to the other address? I'm not fond of confrontation and there is the off-chance I am wrong and someone else is misdirecting them, I'm likely to get punched by him if I ask "y'know that girl you live with I asked you about before, are you absolutely certain she's not a prostitute?"

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Well depending how long you have lived there, could it have been a previous tenent?

Or Someone is having a lark and has posted your address in a shop window or toilet wall.

 

What to do? Rent out a room to a WG as she would have a steady flow of clients with out advertising (sorry but someone is going to say it!)

 

Or you put up a name plate next to the door bell, just write  "Mr. Fred Bloggs does not entertain or encourage cold callers, salesmen or canversers at any time"

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I was about to say the same thing but would not give a name or be at all open to misinterpretation.

 

Please note: This is a private residence. Check the location you are looking for with the person you are visiting.

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Previous tenants were young newlyweds, and I've been here three years or so now... so I'd be surprised.

 

Don't look like the sort of guys who read a number on a bog wall, they're all groomed and reasonably well dressed. And the way they are straight onto a mobile makes me think they've made an appointment. Plus if someone is fucking with me they're playing a very long con, it's been going on months.

 

I'll have a go with a note, but it's a block of flats with a single communal entrance - couple of dozen buzzers bunched together, not much room. And even if you noticed it, would a note saying "no cold callers etc.", stop you if you thought the address was correct? 

I'm a bit reluctant to be more direct about it, don't want to explain to everyone who comes round and all my neighbours why "JOE BLOGGS AT NUMBER XX IS NOT A PROSTITUTE" is written in green felt tip, laminated and stuck to the front door of the building.

 

I've thought about opening the door with camera in hand to capture that moment of panic (I am a part-time photographer)... Is this a bad idea? I figure it's likely to get people to complain which will spur whoever give better directions in the future. But I also figure it's likely to get people thinking I'm going to try to blackmail them and shitting through the proverbial letterbox.

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Previous tenants were young newlyweds, and I've been here three years or so now... so I'd be surprised.
 
Don't look like the sort of guys who read a number on a bog wall, they're all groomed and reasonably well dressed. And the way they are straight onto a mobile makes me think they've made an appointment. Plus if someone is fucking with me they're playing a very long con, it's been going on months.

I appreciate you're an innocent party in this, but feel it would be helpful if the next time a well-groomed punter turns up, tell them they've got the wrong gaff but also ask them if you can have a quick polite chat. And ask them how they came to you and the mobile number they are about to ring to sort out the correct directions. They'll almost certainly tell you.

 

Call the number ( run it through google first ) and tell the agency / manager they need to sort out the issue.

 

If it carries on, then call the police.

 

Visiting with prostiutes who consent should be legal in most peoples view and also the eyes of the law, but it should be discreet ffs. Whatever you do, please don't try to give the impression you might be blackmailing them.

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Communal entrance not what i assumed the arrangement was.

 

However, what about actually putting an explanatory note into the other block residents' letterboxes and let them know? You have nothing to be ashamed of and then a sign would not make them wonder what you are up to.

 

If it is not a sociable place at present, people might actually start talking to each other.

 

It would also be worth trying to speak to one of the visitors who likes the right sort and in a friendly way explain and ask him if he minds telling you where he got the address from.

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Possibly just a little sign saying "Warning, hairy bloke with big dog..do not knock" or even "warning, big bloke with hairy dog..knock at your peril' 

Edited by Chloe Kisses

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Perhaps a red flashing light in the window saying CLOSED and/or a skull.

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  or answer the door wearing a skirt and say ,    "   well .... hello   "

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I think that Bongo's got it....you'll have to get one of the callers to chat for a few minutes and get the info from them, then follow it up.

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It is a bit of a bugger. The punters who arrive and do not get the welcome they are expecting might be a bit skittish and more likely to bolt than hang around for a "little chat"

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Well depending how long you have lived there, could it have been a previous tenent?

Or Someone is having a lark and has posted your address in a shop window or toilet wall.

 

What to do? Rent out a room to a WG as she would have a steady flow of clients with out advertising (sorry but someone is going to say it!)

 

Or you put up a name plate next to the door bell, just write  "Mr. Fred Bloggs does not entertain or encourage cold callers, salesmen or canversers at any time"

Yes, that's always a possibility. It happened with the Paddington massage place Kharma. Barbara,the manageress, used to own a flat in a very grand building indeed in a fine square, but then moved on. Some time later, happening to stroll by, I noticed a very irritated note indeed had been fixed by the door bell. I mentiond it to her the next time I saw her and she said that actually everybody in the building was fully aware of her activities when she was there, but just resigned themselves to it.

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I appreciate you're an innocent party in this, but feel it would be helpful if the next time a well-groomed punter turns up, tell them they've got the wrong gaff but also ask them if you can have a quick polite chat. And ask them how they came to you and the mobile number they are about to ring to sort out the correct directions. They'll almost certainly tell you.

 

Call the number ( run it through google first ) and tell the agency / manager they need to sort out the issue.

 

If it carries on, then call the police.

 

Visiting with prostiutes who consent should be legal in most peoples view and also the eyes of the law, but it should be discreet ffs. Whatever you do, please don't try to give the impression you might be blackmailing them.

I don't know about this. How exactly do you do it?  I tried searching for my own mobile then landline but no results.

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I don't know about this. How exactly do you do it?  I tried searching for my own mobile then landline but no results.

Because your own numbers are not in an online advert.

 

Presumable the establishment or independent will have an online add, so their number would be connected to this add via google.

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Put a sign on the door saying anything that suits your circumstances and leave it there for weeks to come as the slow ones will still bother you for a long time.

 

I heard situations like this where girls have been working at certain premises for years meeting all kind of guys, who then thought they can keep coming whenever is convenient for them.  Not nice.

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It is usually the clients who don't listen to the address correctly. Or who don't write it down, no matter howany times the person on the phone tells them you will always get people getting it wrong. Just put a note near the door lnell Something like if you are looking for 57b blah blah you are at the wrong address .

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It is usually the clients who don't listen to the address correctly. Or who don't write it down, no matter how many times the person on the phone tells them you will always get people getting it wrong. Just put a note near the door bell Something like if you are looking for 57b blah blah you are at the wrong address .

Edited by heather
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Have to admit I've knocked at the wrong door once or twice. Once there was no excuse - I'd simply got the number wrong, and we prefer not to write these things down, Heather, as it can be dangerous, If we're forgetful about numbers, we can also be forgetful about throwing numbers away afterwards. In that particular case, I knew the lady had pefectly good relations with her neighbours, and no damage was done: I goggled helplessly at the chap who opened the door, and he grinned back and said he thought perhaps I had the wrong number.

Otherwise, my errors have been with some London basement addresses. One can sometimes get confused as to which basement belongs to which number.

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This reminds of when I went to a massage parlour (sounds lovelier than brothel!) that I'd not been to for a long time.  As I approached I could see they'd had the front entrance refurbished which confused me and I walked into the terraced house next door.  Fortunately the room I was in was empty but the door to the room ahead was open and there was a kiddies party going on.  I beat a hasty retreat! But from further down the street I looked back and a woman had come to the door to see which weirdo was trying to gatecrash! 

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I have also knocked on the wrong door, when I mentally transposed 12 to 21.  Bloke opened the door and without a blink said, "You want the house nine doors down, messy garden and green front door, have fun!"

 

As to the OP's problem;

 

Get on Ebay and get yourself a blue lantern.

Stick a sign by your bell saying "Sorry rates have been increased to £500 per hour!"

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This is why I text my address then full instructions from their parking spot to my front door once they are here. If you have a text to look at there is zero excuse for getting lost other than you are looking right at the place  you need to be but simply not seeing it. Had one guy a few weeks ago standing staring at my building asking my which building and when I told him "its the one you are staring at right now" he turned around and looked behind him..I mean COME ON guys.

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Asked some lady friend to open the door and ask them who they are looking for. if the woman open the door they may be less scared. I recon there is some escort lady working close to you, maybe next door and they keep going wrong place. I experienced this by myself in the past . For whatever reason a few of my clients went to the neighbor living on the other side of the road. I still can't understand why they gone there whilst they had given by me the full address and directions.

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There is a street in central London whose name escapes me (Meard Street?) and one house was a brothel but it stopped about 30+ years ago. It still has the sign saying it is now a private residence.

 

Just last week I was invited to go to the house of a working girl I had met in a parlour. I got the address and google mapped it. from the address showing in google maps it appeared she lived on one side of the road in what looked like a new block of flats.

 

It turned out she lived in a terrace house on the other side and google had pointed me at an old people's home.

 

Victoria, the possibility of being able to find a female friend to act as a non-receptionist strikes me as unlikely, I'm afraid.

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