The Happy Punter

The 10 Commandments Of Punting

70 posts in this topic

To me there is a kind of 'pool of wisdom' on PN - a kind of distillation of years of experience and insight into the punting world, both from punter and SP POV - I am relatively new to be honest (just a couple of years under by belt) and so I wondered if drawing on the experience that is here if it was possible to draw up a kind of 10 Commandments of Punting.

 

If I had read something like that before I dipped my toe in the water (so to speak) that would have been really helpful - but even now I learn all the time.    

 

I can see a more serious list coming together and then a piss taking one because that is the nature of a forum I guess and indeed the question invites it - but I think both would make very interesting reading.

 

For example my first commandments is:

 

Always read the ladies website or profile thoroughly - I know it sounds obvious but invariably on a decent website or AW profile the key information is mainly there and they have answered most of my questions.

 

Another one I have is: 

 

Don't take myself or the situation to seriously - when I started punting I used to be terrified but over time I learn to relax and really enjoy it and I find a light hearted approach helps as both just want to have a good time.

 

OK another one is:

 

Be clean and hygienic - I probably expressed that badly but I work hard at making sure I am tip top condition from that point of view.

 

One more: 

 

Don't haggle over price - this makes me probably super Fluffy but I just wouldn't dream of it - the price is the price and I get this sorted pretty quickly if not immediately and then relax into the meeting.

 

I have more little commandments of mine which have served me well but I would enjoy hearing if any other members had their own and whether what emerged were some key one's - a top ten as it were.

 

If this has been asked before or done to death I am sorry - but it down to my inexperience! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If using AW, don't take feedback for granted. Check it back a couple of generations - ie feedback of the people leaving feedback.

Search the field reports section by entering the ladies name, don't just rely on links on her profile. Bad reports won't be linked! Also check other punting sites for reviews there.

Don't pay anything up front!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For me it would be if you find a good one (or two) don't be in a big rush to look at the green grass over the fence.

 

Good sex isn't a numbers game and and often in life less is more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Always remember it's a business relationship. You might encounter the most amazing booking with a stunning lady who makes you feel like you're the only man on earth she wants to be with. Until time's up. Then get on with your life until next time - she's not your real girlfriend!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Following on from Burty don't get too emotionally involved as this can screw you up!!  Even if you buy the lady gifts and the sex is good and you get on like a house on fire remember what it is a bit of fun and for an hour or two you can pretend you are living in a bubble but always come back down to reality. 

 

  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

don't take anything to the punt you don't need there.

 

OK there is some risk of the lady nicking your stuff, but I dont think thats really a problem.  More the problem of leaving stuff behind and having to go back for it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Following on from Burty don't get too emotionally involved as this can screw you up!!  Even if you buy the lady gifts and the sex is good and you get on like a house on fire remember what it is a bit of fun and for an hour or two you can pretend you are living in a bubble but always come back down to reality. 

 

  

 

quite.  Remember - your punt doesnt matter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

it's addictive, so set your budget and stick to it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Following on from Burty don't get too emotionally involved as this can screw you up!!  Even if you buy the lady gifts and the sex is good and you get on like a house on fire remember what it is a bit of fun and for an hour or two you can pretend you are living in a bubble but always come back down to reality. 

 L

  

Even for someone who knows all these things, emotions can sometimes be very powerful things and creep up when we least expect them... :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like that one - Thou Shalt Always Remember Its a Business Transaction - and also I like that if you find a regular don't be in to much of a hurry - I guess that's Cherish your Regular - the or thy grass is not always greener.on the the side.'

 

It seems so obvious when they are spelt out like this - keep em coming - if we keep this up were going to be like Moses coming down the mountain with a new tablet of stone - I am so lovin that - the alternative 10 Commandments - at last one for the unrighteous!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ahhhh.... but is it the man's fault or do many girls encourage it?

 

I must confess that the first girl I booked was out of this world and although I'm good at keeping a grip I did struggle with thinking about her and wondering whether she really enjoyed my company. My answer to that was to book another cracker to settle myself down.

 

The outcome... now I'm thinking about two of them! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. Thou shalt brush your teeth, shower (wash ya knob, esp. under the foreskin if you have one!) deodorise & wear at least fresh underwear (socks & pants)

2. Thou shalt bring the right amount of money and pay before session start, bring a little more in case you want to go longer or fancy an extra service in the moment ;)

3. Thou shalt be polite and attentive at all times

4. Thou shalt compliment the SP if she's great looking.

5. Thou shalt not cum in her gob without warning.

6. Thou shalt not laugh when fanny farts occur (I always try not to, but trying always makes things worse)

7. Thou shalt not stick your finger up her arse, without testing the water first

8. Thou shalt not see a booking through if she is not the SP advertised.

7. Thou shalt not make pre-dated booking payments.

8. Thou shalt not be sneaky with the condom!

9. Thou shalt not ask her to marry you

10. Thou shalt not spend your entire months wages just because you fell head over heels in love with her.

 

:)

 

El diablo strikes again. :D

 

Anyone for tea?

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1. Thou shalt brush your teeth, shower (wash ya knob, esp. under the foreskin if you have one!) deodorise & wear at least fresh underwear (socks & pants)

2. Thou shalt bring the right amount of money and pay before session start, bring a little more in case you want to go longer or fancy an extra service in the moment ;)

3. Thou shalt be polite and attentive at all times

4. Thou shalt compliment the SP if she's great looking.

5. Thou shalt not cum in her gob without warning.

6. Thou shalt not laugh when fanny farts occur (I always try not to, but trying always makes things worse)

7. Thou shalt not stick your finger up her arse, without testing the water first

8. Thou shalt not see a booking through if she is not the SP advertised.

7. Thou shalt not make pre-dated booking payments.

8. Thou shalt not be sneaky with the condom!

9. Thou shalt not ask her to marry you

10. Thou shalt not spend your entire months wages just because you fell head over heels in love with her.

 

:)

 

El diablo strikes again. :D

 

Anyone for tea?

Number 7 ....................the first one... as you appear to have 2   :wacko:

 

hmmmmmm ........  not sure which water you refer to but usually water is tested by dipping your elbow in.................

 

other than that...... out of curiosity how would you ask the lady if she will receive said digit up said arse?

Edited by Lynn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours ass

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here is another one:

 

Listen to her instructions about when/how to contact her to confirm and don't question her security processes!

 

If you are not given an exact house address before the meeting it's for good reasons not because she is being whimsically mysterious. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thou shall re read the text with explicit instructions if lost and not resort to standing outside the door you suspect it to be due to the right location, colour and number on it and call her then strop off cos she doesnt answer as you are standing right outside her front door and she already knows you are loud on the phone

Edited by Chloe Kisses

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Number 7 ....................the first one... as you appear to have 2   :wacko:

 

hmmmmmm ........  not sure which water you refer to but usually water is tested by dipping your elbow in.................

 

other than that...... out of curiosity how would you ask the lady if she will receive said digit up said arse?

HAHAHA, whoops, someone had too much wine last night ;)

 

I guess the first commandment should be: though shall learn to count to 10.

 

re: 7.1 yes elbow, right up there! I've always tested water by dipping a toe in :P I have a magical sense when a lady likes to be touched in that area she's normally cool to insert. ;) When you're grabbing ass you can try some ap, which is always done tentatively....

 

You don't ask, you test the water first, if she slaps your hand away, you know. NO Entry. :)

 

:ph34r:

Edited by earlgreyman

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Punt as often as you can afford, you never know when your hard-on will go for good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here is one: make sure you do not send a person you met many times in the past an email once in a while not leading to anything and then disappear again for several months: you might come across as a stalker.  The past is the past and the present is the present.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thou shalt not pay with £1 coins, even if you have conveniently bagged them in those little plastic envelopes the banks give you.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here is one: make sure you do not send a person you met many times in the past an email once in a while not leading to anything and then disappear again for several months: you might come across as a stalker.  The past is the past and the present is the present.

I like that 'Thy Shalt Remember that the Past is the Past, the Present the Present'  - I wouldn't dream of contacting a lady outside of a meeting other than to make an appointment to make another meeting - Jesus, its not like your our real girlfriend :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Thou shall not fart in the presence of a working lady.  Did it once and not nice I can tell you.  Spoils the occasion!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

Thou shall not fart in the presence of a working lady.  Did it once and not nice I can tell you.  Spoils the occasion!

 

I don't want to lower the tone but I am glad you shared that to be honest because although I have my macro commandments - two of my micro one's but no less important and I feel I can share this here with some degree of understanding is -

 

Make sure you have a shit and a shave (not necessarily in that order I hasten to add) - or Thy Shall Make Sure Thy Has a Shit and a Shave (S&S)  because mother nature can be so cruel and so inopportune a times - red and tooth and claw that she is!

 

I would be truly mortified if I let one go - having said that and I know a fanny fart is a different natural release - harshly referred to as a 'fanny fart' when I think if I am not mistaken it is technically a 'quiff' (so much more ladylike a quiff than a fart).

 

And on shaving - being a bit of a blue beard too - I do like to be as smooth as I can - so much so now that to be honest I now bring a travel shaving kit just in case I need to spruce myself up - I am talking 3pm shadow here,

 

God there is so much to think about it isn't there...anyone would think we are just fronting up for a shag - but no there is a right science to it. :)

 

I know I know but devil in the detail.....

 

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The first commandment is that there are no commandments!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thou shalt not pay with £1 coins, even if you have conveniently bagged them in those little plastic envelopes the banks give you.

 

i had a £70 punt once. went to bank machine.  only £20 notes.

 

went to shop, bought something i didnt want to get change.

 

'sorry mate, no tenners', and gave me £80 in £1 coins.

 

so she got three tenners and 10 £1 coins.  she didnt care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now