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Lynn

Would I Lie To You?

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It is one of my favourite guilty pleasure television shows..... so funny!

 

..... but after posting something silly a little while ago on here it gave me an idea..... and a question for you lot of retrobates ....

 

Can you recall the most outrageous or unbelievable lie you have told a wg (or anyone!) or been told to you......

 

not sure if this is off topic as it mainly refers to wg/punter situations..... 

 

I will start off:

 

a man lying next to me stated that he worked undercover for some secret organisation and not only had two loaded guns in his vehicle but had to travel in a very ordinary type of car..... I watched him as he left and I would say his transport was anything but inconspicuous!

 

Emblazoned on the side was "Fred's Fruit and Veg"  (slight name change there to protect a man on a mission) 

 

The man was deadly serious when he told me....  oh dear......

 

 

 

So come on..... spill!

 

 

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It is one of my favourite guilty pleasure television shows..... so funny!

 

..... but after posting something silly a little while ago on here it gave me an idea..... and a question for you lot of retrobates ....

 

Can you recall the most outrageous or unbelievable lie you have told a wg (or anyone!) or been told to you......

 

not sure if this is off topic as it mainly refers to wg/punter situations..... 

 

I will start off:

 

a man lying next to me stated that he worked undercover for some secret organisation and not only had two loaded guns in his vehicle but had to travel in a very ordinary type of car..... I watched him as he left and I would say his transport was anything but inconspicuous!

 

Emblazoned on the side was "Fred's Fruit and Veg"  (slight name change there to protect a man on a mission) 

 

The man was deadly serious when he told me....  oh dear......

 

 

 

So come on..... spill!

"Fred's Fruit and Veg" ?  He must've been a plant!   :cool:

Edited by The Bear

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Lynn, but he'd saved his meat and two veg all for you ;-)

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A client I have known a long time and who has a law degree met a lady who informed him she was studying law..... she was not aware of his background or profession.

 

He showed interest in her studies and quizzed her politely on one or two things.....

 

she didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

 

oopsie!

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I visited one lady who had been off the scene for a while.  She claimed I was her first client since her return.  I didn't believe that as she had been advertised for perhaps 10 days before I saw her and had been a popular lady before her break but I regarded it as a pretty standard lie that a WG tells her clients.  It became outrageous later when she claimed that not only was I her first client since her return but I was also the first guy she had had sex with for several months as, though she had had a boyfriend, he was a recovering sex addict and his treatment programme meant that, while they could do some sexual things together, they were not allowed to have full sex lest he suffer a relapse!  I don't know for certain that was a lie, in fact it is so ridiculous that I suppose the only thing that might explain it is that it may actually have been true, but it is the tale that sprang first to mind when I saw this topic.

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Being told that the WG was going to quit the business after some arbitrary date (in order to get a cash grab of several bookings with her regulars in swift succession, no doubt) but wanted one last hurrah before she quit.

 

She reappeared on AW a month later. LOL.

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have lied to girls saying i'm an accountant or work in IT - not true!

 

once saw a girl after a year of no sexual activity so i told her i was a virgin - also not true, i just didn't want her to know i was inexperienced and it was nearly a year since my previous sexual encounter!

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I told a girl that I was an actor and was playing a vampire in a new TV series that would start next Sept.  (which isn't true - I am only a cameraman and it is about zombies and it wont start until next Jan earliest.  And she wasn't an escort, it was MP Luciana Berger who I picked up in a bar.  Was a crap night as MI5 stopped us right after OWO and RO but before full sex. Sorry, you got me in a fib, it was OW).

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During a post punt chat whilst both getting dressed I told a girl that I had just got out of prison for murder... her eyes went wide and she nervously asked who I killed so I said a working girl that was asking too many questions... she went quiet for a second then decided I was winding her up and shood me out...

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The great thing about being a millionaire and living on 500 acres of Berkshire's finest is that no one believes a word of it on the internet.

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Last week I was apparently and schoolboy, and the wg I was with was a headmistress. I think at least one of us may have been slightly ecomnomical with the truth. What I will say is parhaps she was really a head master, well she was certainly a master of giving head.

 

I'll grab my coat now :unsure:

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The best ones are ones who lie to you about something and then when you see them again have forgotten what they have told you and churn out a whole set of new fibs!

 

As if I really care what they do for a living! 

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