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solentmag

In Vino Veritas

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Every month I see my regular Working Girl who is terrific. Every so often I see other WG's mainly when away on business. I have some excellent experience and one or two not so especially when I first started Punting. But this has happened...  

 

I did some work for a single woman acquaintance who I know through a friend. It was an easy job although it took half a day to do. I volunteered to do it because I knew she having trouble getting someone in. I didn't want payment, just enjoy helping someone out and I wasn't playing the hero either.

 

The payment question still came up though and I refused to accept money, so she offered to cook me dinner, which was last night. I am 4 years a single dad, got 5 with 2 still at home and am out of practice dating.  Got suited and booted and was up for it. I think I still scrub up well for a 62 year old mind! I turned up at 7.00 and she opened the door and she looked beautiful. 

 

Food great, wine great, she's great. She interesting, have a laugh and have a very mature conversation with her. We talked about every thing but we meandered towards man/woman stuff. She told me that she likes to have a man in her life and then asked me why I have got not a woman. I tell her all the various reasons and that I have had only a few dates, which were platonic. In true "In Vino Veritas" style, she asked me if I have had sexual intercourse since being on my own, which took me completely by surprise. 

 

I went very quiet. She prompted me to give her an answer and I wasn't quick enough to tell her with a smile on my face that she was nosey and to mind her own business, so I lied by saying no. I could hardly tell her the truth and tell her that I see Working Girl's

 

We go very quiet again and then with all sincerity she asks me to stay the night. Look, I love women and as I say, she is great. I would love to stay the night but I have lied to her. She thinks that I am paragon of virtue after I have given her my life story but I have seen my regular WG only a week ago! I couldn't do it to her and take her to bed, just not right. Mind, I mad with myself because I felt I had ambushed myself by not maneuvering to a safe place.

 

Her bottom lip started to go and I told her that I don't know her well enough to be physically intimate with her and that I am a bit old fashioned with this kind of thing. She wanted and needed a hug, we settled with that and she composed herself. 

 

The evening ended in embarrassment; I couldn't look her in the eye because I know one lie is one lie enough. I want to see her again and want to phone her but I don't know how to right the wrong. 

 

 

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I can relate to that a bit as a single guy in my fifties who is actually perfectly happy in his single status for reasons that I'm sure most people on this forum will be able to relate to (ie regular sex with a variety of different gorgeous females). But I do quite often get asked why I am single, on the seeming presumption that l must be unhappy if I'm not in a regular relationship ( little do they know ! ). I'm sure your friend is a lovely person and all the rest of it, and this might sound harsh, but at the end of the day she hasn't got any rights over you, you're entitled to remain single, you don't have to go to bed with her. I guess the thing is that you feel bad about lying to her : well if you told her the truth, there's every chance that the lovely person might turn into a not so lovely person ... don't go there. And if you had gone to bed with her, just imagine what complications that might lead to if you weren't actually committed to things going any further. So, in vino veritas, I say hold your ground. Your body, your life, you do what you want with it. 

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To the op

 

I suppose she was shocked that you turned down her enticing offer.  There can't be many women who are told no when offering themselves so openly.

 

You were a naughty boy though..... letting her think you are chaste and romantically old fashioned........ she may also think you regard her as a bit of a tart now.

 

If you were both a little lightheaded from the bottle of Veritas ( a cheeky little number .... reminiscent of lace table cloths and rich tea fingers )  ..... then she may be feeling foolish and regretful ....... 

 

you now have two choices..... phone her and say why don't we forget the awkward moment and stay friends with a view to perhaps an evening out some time and take it from there......

 

or call round one evening.... yank her drawers down and give her what for.

 

 

 

you never know how it may turn out...................  :)

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Lying is one of the first things that young children learn. It makes us human.  If for you, lying and not telling the truth are different then it is difficult.  For me it is the same.  I choose not to tell others my business.  Sometimes I need to lie to avoid telling the truth.   I think your lie was like that.  So relax is my view.  Bad lying is fraud, making out you are something you are not -- crazy stuff.  Saying you did not have sex at all, when the truth is you had sex with prostitutes,is just keeping your private life private. A (untrue) statement that is protecting your privacy, is not the same as lying to little old ladies about a pension product, or other bad lies.

 

So step one reflect on this.  Everyone lies.  Most do it for privacy or to be kind ('that haircut is fine' 'sure I like your cooking' 'yes I vote green' 'no I dont have sex with escorts'). 

 

So step two: call her up.  Take her out.  Go with it.

 

Step three: you dont have to tell us about step 3 - lies are sometimes fine.

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Lies make the world work.  We lie to those we love and call them white lies designed to prevent hurt.  You could maybe even tell her you're sorry but you lied because you were embarrassed, not actually a lie and you don't need to elaborate.  You would feel better and unless she was only offering out of pity, which doesn't seem likely, it all might work out.

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She's probably feeling embarrassed, but I don't think your lying about escorts is the issue as much as would you want to have a relationship with her? If not, just steer clear. If you might, then where's the harm in a few dates?

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You fool - there are loads of single guys here who see hookers and are at the same time looking for a g/f - they keep mum about their private life - who would ever find a g/f if you just exposed what you get up to

 

dont look a gift horse in the mouth

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 One thing you should prepare for  . When you do have sex with her it won't be as fantastic as with your reg .  wg 

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If you do want to carry on seeing her send her a text or an email and tell her you were so taken aback by her offer to stay the night you panicked and said no but really regret it but you'd love to see her again. Offer to take her out and then go from there .

 

Don't worry about the white lie about escorts , I don't think many men would actually tell a potential shag/girlfriend they have been seeing escorts and sometimes a fib if the best thing all round, we all do it!

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The escorts should be a non issue to you, if you have a relationship with her then stop seeing them when it starts. There is noneed to mention them, and don't bring the subject up yourself. In my eyes the only time you would be lying is if she asked you outright, and that's unikely to happen, so don't worryabout it.

 

We all have a previous sex life, and it's never a good idea to discss it with you current partner, it only stirs the green eyed monster and creates problems when none are necessary.

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 One thing you should prepare for  . When you do have sex with her it won't be as fantastic as with your reg .  wg 

Rubbish! Non sex working women can be great at sex too, and for some men not paying for it is a preference that outweighs the quality of sex! 

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I can relate to the OP, folks seem to think you are unhappy because you don't have a partner or a regular girlfriend and by inference assume you are not getting any sex.

 

Having been single for a while and a punter I think the last thing to make me happy would be having a partner to keep an eye on what I do.  I got the t-shirt a long time ago and don't want another.

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In the cold light of sobriety, the moment may have passed for good.

 

But, there is no (public) shame in trying a follow-up call. I would. However, I'd only refer back to it here if the outcome was positive!

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In the cold light of sobriety, the moment may have passed for good.

 

But, there is no (public) shame in trying a follow-up call. I would. However, I'd only refer back to it here if the outcome was positive!

my mum once warned me a woman only gives one chance (wish I had listened to her advice and taken so many of them)

 

the op doesnt really say how she measures up - ok she's interesting to talk to - we've nearly all had offers of sex from frumpy lookings women

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my mum once warned me a woman only gives one chance (wish I had listened to her advice and taken so many of them)

 

the op doesnt really say how she measures up - ok she's interesting to talk to - we've nearly all had offers of sex from frumpy lookings women

 

Ah, yes indeed. One problem with 'in vino veritas' is the distorting effect it has on perception. Many's the woman I've thought looked great and seemed fascinating when I've been under the influence only to find (mixing metaphors) that the princess turns into a frog once the drink wears off.

 

I hasten to add that the obverse is equally true - women friends tell me it happens with men also!

 

The phenomenon was well stated in Father Ted years ago: "Drink; Girls; Feck"!

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Tell her you don't want to get into a relationship/commitment and if she is fine about this.

 

Then see her again and give her a night  to remember :cool:

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I didn't think the OP lied as such....he was being economical with the truth, there is no way on God's sweet mother earth that I would release the information that I enjoy the pleasure of WG's - that is why it is called a secret life.....

 

He could have had a nice time with the lady etc etc but that old dictum is so true isn't it - the difference between sex for free and paid sex is that paid sex costs a lot less and not just financially.

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This situation is just part of a much wider problem if your a single man who punts, my closest friends know what I do but for casual aquantances, work colleagues even neighbours the status of your sex life can be a source of interest often leading to them making assumptions, your celebate a closet gay or just undateable. I wouldn't advise telling the truth in your situation but I don't necessarily think jumping straight in is the right thing either, you have to think about where this may lead and what you both want from it, to you it may be just a shag maybe to her as well but if you decide to see each other again your going to have to make a decision about whether or not to continue punting, not telling the truth initially is no big deal as none of us ever blurt out the truth when these questions come up as it's nobody else's business, but if you continue to punt and see this woman you will have to lie and lie again.

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Thanks for your replies.

 
I went to see her last night with your advice in mind.
 
I have said to her that the way I want to go is to get to know her in a relaxed way. Told her that she caught me by surprise and really it wasn't a fair question about my sexual history. It's not appropriate. I have a past and she has a past and I won't be nosy, if she won't. Thanks MinxyLydia.
 
Someone wrote to me with a PM and told me to toughen up, be assertive and be a man to her. Told me to get on and put the lie out of my mind, which is still a problem but I will.
 
I told her that I would love to see her again. 
 
She is still game and was still quite coital - she was very flushed and her body language was easy to read and yes Lynn, I could have just "yanked her drawers down and give her what for" on the sofa, there and then. I was ready for her but didn't. Your expression did cause my mind to lustfully wander a bit. 
 
We are are away camping in The New Forest next week for the kids school holidays, so I will catch up with her when I get back. Catch up; an euphemism for sexual intercourse perhaps!

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To the OP - does said lady need any other easy jobs doing?

 

CG

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To the OP - does said lady need any other easy jobs doing?

CG

Well you know who she is as there's a queue a mile long with plumbers, electricians, builders and IT experts forming an orderly line...

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She is still game and was still quite coital - she was very flushed and her body language was easy to read and yes Lynn,
 
 

Whaat?

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 I lied by saying no. I could hardly tell her the truth and tell her that I see Working Girl's
 

 

Never tell anyone. 

 

Never. Ever. Tell. Anyone. Ever. 

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