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cumandgo

What Would You Do ?

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Had a punt recently. Door opens, this mature lady was  very welcoming , nice atmosphere etc. Hand over the fee and then have the shower.

 

Very early in the punt the lady explains that she is new to all this . She is EE and says that she has chosen to do this because she needs to 'get out of a problem' and is looking forward to stopping 'doing this '  ( i.e .sex work ) as soon as she ever can. I asked was she happy to continue with the booking and she said yes, so I duly did !

 

This is a lady clearly not embracing her sex work but going through the motions necessary to keep the fees rolling in. Did I do right or wrong by continuing ?

 

 

 

 

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Had a punt recently. Door opens, this mature lady was  very welcoming , nice atmosphere etc. Hand over the fee and then have the shower.

 

Very early in the punt the lady explains that she is new to all this . She is EE and says that she has chosen to do this because she needs to 'get out of a problem' and is looking forward to stopping 'doing this '  ( i.e .sex work ) as soon as she ever can. I asked was she happy to continue with the booking and she said yes, so I duly did !

 

This is a lady clearly not embracing her sex work but going through the motions necessary to keep the fees rolling in. Did I do right or wrong by continuing ?

She explained her reason for doing this, and you made the decision @ the time to continue.  Nothing wrong with that, so nothing to worry about.

 

Cumandgo, there is 'no' right or wrong.  Only you can decide based on 'your' own morals.  This 'might' make things easier in the future, should you find yourself in a similar situation again during a meet.

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Had a punt recently. Door opens, this mature lady was  very welcoming , nice atmosphere etc. Hand over the fee and then have the shower.

 

Very early in the punt the lady explains that she is new to all this . She is EE and says that she has chosen to do this because she needs to 'get out of a problem' and is looking forward to stopping 'doing this '  ( i.e .sex work ) as soon as she ever can. I asked was she happy to continue with the booking and she said yes, so I duly did !

 

This is a lady clearly not embracing her sex work but going through the motions necessary to keep the fees rolling in. Did I do right or wrong by continuing ?

I'd only consider it 'wrong' if you believed the girl to be forced by someone into working against her will. Very different IMO to how you portray the meet as you mention her choosing to do it. I choose to do my job as it's probably the best chance for me to earn what I do, but I can't say I enjoy it and given the option I'd do something else.

Personally it would have killed the mood for me as I have to at least believe the wg wants to be there and is happy to see me but that's just me - I don't think you did anything wrong.

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You weren't wrong for continuing as she said it was okay to. But she said it was okay to because she needs the money not because she enjoys the job.

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She explained her reason for doing this, and you made the decision @ the time to continue.  Nothing wrong with that, so nothing to worry about.

 

Cumandgo, there is 'no' right or wrong.  Only you can decide based on 'your' own morals.  This 'might' make things easier in the future, should you find yourself in a similar situation again during a meet.

 

Doing the right thing cant always be left up to the individual. Some things are objectively wrong.  

 

However, in this particular case I would do the same thing again. I really cant be researching into the motives of each lady I see. 

 

 

 

I'd only consider it 'wrong' if you believed the girl to be forced by someone into working against her will. Very different IMO to how you portray the meet as you mention her choosing to do it. I choose to do my job as it's probably the best chance for me to earn what I do, but I can't say I enjoy it and given the option I'd do something else.

Personally it would have killed the mood for me as I have to at least believe the wg wants to be there and is happy to see me but that's just me - I don't think you did anything wrong.

 

Funny enough it didn't. If we think about it, the answer probably is that most WGs don't 'want' to be there. They have made a decision to do it and they get on with it. Some find it easier than others. That's the way I see it anyway.

 

I justify it by liking to think that I am one of the more easy clients they will have to service. I may well be very wrong. 

 

 

 

You weren't wrong for continuing as she said it was okay to. But she said it was okay to because she needs the money not because she enjoys the job.

 

 

No doubt about that. Interestingly, I got the sense that she felt comfortable  saying this to me. She was quite talkative about her situation and unrequested, showed me a picture of her child back home etc 

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Doing the right thing cant always be left up to the individual. Some things are objectively wrong.

However, in this particular case I would do the same thing again. I really cant be researching into the motives of each lady I see.

Funny enough it didn't. If we think about it, the answer probably is that most WGs don't 'want' to be there. They have made a decision to do it and they get on with it. Some find it easier than others. That's the way I see it anyway.

I justify it by liking to think that I am one of the more easy clients they will have to service. I may well be very wrong.

No doubt about that. Interestingly, I got the sense that she felt comfortable saying this to me. She was quite talkative about her situation and unrequested, showed me a picture of her child back home etc

Well it's great that she felt comfortable, I think it would've been better for her if she didn't mention how quick she wanted to get out of this job though lol!

But if she was happy to proceed and you had a great time, then you didn't do a thing wrong at all :) x

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Doing the right thing cant always be left up to the individual. Some things are objectively wrong.  

 

However, in this particular case I would do the same thing again. I really cant be researching into the motives of each lady I see. 

 

I'm incredibly grateful for the 'valuable' advice I've been given by many people over the years.  When I've tried to specifically copy someone regarding how I live my life, I've always found myself in trouble.  What I've learnt is take the 'important' advice from others, but modify it as much as needed to fit my life.  Some things have taken me years to adjust, so it fits me.  I never stop learning, also. 

 

If I myself was in the same situation as you, personally, I would've cancelled the meet after what she'd said.  The fact that she let me know ultimately, she 'didn't' want to be there would be enough for me to stop it immediately!  When I look for girls, I try to find girls that 'enjoy' what they do.  If I'm convinced 'enough' she is right for me overall, then and only then do I make the booking.

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I'm incredibly grateful for the 'valuable' advice I've been given by many people over the years.  When I've tried to specifically copy someone regarding how I live my life, I've always found myself in trouble.  What I've learnt is take the 'important' advice from others, but modify it as much as needed to fit my life.  Some things have taken me years to adjust, so it fits me.  I never stop learning, also. 

 

If I myself was in the same situation as you, personally, I would've cancelled the meet after what she'd said.  The fact that she let me know ultimately, she 'didn't' want to be there would be enough for me to stop it immediately!  When I look for girls, I try to find girls that 'enjoy' what they do.  If I'm convinced 'enough' she is right for me overall, then and only then do I make the booking.

 

Easier said than done but yes your approach is probably best. I suppose I concentrate more on the physical attributes of the ladies. 

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Funny enough it didn't. If we think about it, the answer probably is that most WGs don't 'want' to be there. They have made a decision to do it and they get on with it. Some find it easier than others. That's the way I see it anyway.

 

I justify it by liking to think that I am one of the more easy clients they will have to service. I may well be very wrong

You could well be right, but me knowing she didn't really want to be there is what would put me off. I've only experienced it once and we agreed to cut the booking short. I'm as convinced as it's possible to be that the wg's I've seen most often are perfectly comfortable both with what they're doing generally and with seeing me. I've mentioned it before but I asked one girl on her last night before she stopped working and was going to live abroad if she knew then what she knew now whether she'd have ever started escorting. She said she definitely would - and I believe she meant it.

You are perfectly correct in what you say about justifying why you stayed. Best all round that she sees someone who is easy going and easy to get along with, rather than someone less desirable.

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Seems like an odd way for her to behave towards a paying client. I'm sure there are plenty of women who are doing it who don't really want to, hell, I expect all escorts have days and clients they'd rather not be doing it with, but you just don't actually say it...

 

I wonder if she is very naive and non business minded (I suppose if she was new that would explain it) - she won't get many repeat visits if she tells everyone this or if (cynically) if its a way to get men to feel sorry for her and pay but not have her shag them...

 

Cumandgo- Did you tell her about Saafe? Maybe if you want to do something that would be constructive you could point her in that direction? It might make help her feel more supported...

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I was just going to say that it would have been best if she had kept that to herself,  it's her business and she shouldn't load it on her clients shoulders.

 

Then I realised that I'm talkative and nosey to boot so I'm bound to hear stuff I'd rather not know occasionally.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

I would have carried on, she has made a personal decision which suits her.  Lets face it loads of girls are doing this just for money like most jobs.

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She was upfront and honest about her situation. Most girls are better actors, I don't believe for a second that any of the girls I see would be interested when the meter's not running. As long as both parties got what they wanted out of the transaction then that's the best outcome really.

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First things first. No, I do not believe that you acted wrongly.

You seem capable of analysis, that of yourself and of others.

There is a concept called 'multi-precarity' which you might light to reflect upon.

Precarity is when one lives a 'precarious' life.

Ones life might be made 'precarious' by factors such as:

- not having a work visa

- not having the right to be in the UK

- not having any qualifications

- being in debt

- having dependents

- having an addiction

- suffering from a mental illness

Multi-precarity is when more than one of those factors is present. It is important because multiple factors makes the individual vulnerable to exploitation by others who use knowledge of the persons vulnerability to their own end.

We can only guess as to what may be going on in that lady's life.

I think what we can say is that you did nothing wrong because you did not exploit her situation.

... Perhaps she opened up to you because she sensed that you were kind?

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Seems like an odd way for her to behave towards a paying client. I'm sure there are plenty of women who are doing it who don't really want to, hell, I expect all escorts have days and clients they'd rather not be doing it with, but you just don't actually say it...

 

I wonder if she is very naive and non business minded (I suppose if she was new that would explain it) - she won't get many repeat visits if she tells everyone this or if (cynically) if its a way to get men to feel sorry for her and pay but not have her shag them...

 

Cumandgo- Did you tell her about Saafe? Maybe if you want to do something that would be constructive you could point her in that direction? It might make help her feel more supported...

Im wondering if she feels the need for the guys she meets to know that she is not a "real whore" for some reason. It seems odd to me too and yes, I would put my money on naive and not understanding the business yet

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This is part of the reasoning of femminists when they say all women are forced into prostitution. A pressing financial need forcing them to work is the same as a pimp forcing them.

On the other side, my wise old dad used to say there were about 50 people who love their job. Everyone else forces themselves to work some time. On a wet winter's day, bin men are doing it only for payday and bills to be paid. I'm sure a high percentage of wgs are lying back and thinking of how to spend the fees. Luckily most are wonderful actresses and offer up a great gift to us.

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Had a punt recently. Door opens, this mature lady was  very welcoming , nice atmosphere etc. Hand over the fee and then have the shower.

 

Very early in the punt the lady explains that she is new to all this . She is EE and says that she has chosen to do this because she needs to 'get out of a problem' and is looking forward to stopping 'doing this '  ( i.e .sex work ) as soon as she ever can. I asked was she happy to continue with the booking and she said yes, so I duly did !

 

This is a lady clearly not embracing her sex work but going through the motions necessary to keep the fees rolling in. Did I do right or wrong by continuing ?

 

Hi 

 

its a shame that the lady is in that predicament but she clearly wasnt being coerced or I'm sure she wouldnt have been welcoming nor told you her situation.. Her naivety in the job was probably why she told as thats not really the done thing. I doubt any woman starts escorting just for the love of sex or else they'd be giving it away.

I dont think you were wrong in staying although I can imagine if I was a guy & it happened to me it would of put me off.

Natalie x 

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Do you know how many people would rather not be doing the job they're doing at the moment but it's the best alternative for them at that point of time.  So they do it  And their employer pays them.  Why should it be different with sex work?  As long as she did a good job, she doesn't have to enjoy it.  she's an escort, not a girlfriend.

 

I also can't help wondering how that came up in conversation.  Are you the kind of punter that feels he has to interrogate a lady, either for small chat, or to be nosy, or to be a worrier. She clearly is new to this and hasn't mastered the art of just giving the guy asking questions that aren't any of his business a soft standard reply to change the subject.  Because when a lady answers truthfully, the punter may not like the answer. Or worse, come to a public forum and start to share her story there.  Or even worse, share it with another working girl.  Actually, the next time a client starts prying, I'm going to tell him, with a straight face, that I'm being trafficked by some make believe pimps.

 

When you're punting, keep your punting head on.  Don't pry into the lady's business.  I can't believe she started out of the blue telling you her life story.  Unless she looks obviously trafficked, why wonder why she's there but be pleased that she is to give you what you need for that time.

 

 

Had a punt recently. Door opens, this mature lady was  very welcoming , nice atmosphere etc. Hand over the fee and then have the shower.

 

Very early in the punt the lady explains that she is new to all this . She is EE and says that she has chosen to do this because she needs to 'get out of a problem' and is looking forward to stopping 'doing this '  ( i.e .sex work ) as soon as she ever can. I asked was she happy to continue with the booking and she said yes, so I duly did !

 

This is a lady clearly not embracing her sex work but going through the motions necessary to keep the fees rolling in. Did I do right or wrong by continuing ?

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Im wondering if she feels the need for the guys she meets to know that she is not a "real whore" for some reason. It seems odd to me too and yes, I would put my money on naive and not understanding the business yet

 Or she may be playing the punter and hoping he has "saviour's complex" and will want to rescue her from the game.

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 Or she may be playing the punter and hoping he has "saviour's complex" and will want to rescue her from the game.

That's always a possibility.  Every now and then some punter may say "How much do you need to 'get out of your problem'  "

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Im wondering if she feels the need for the guys she meets to know that she is not a "real whore" for some reason. It seems odd to me too and yes, I would put my money on naive and not understanding the business yet

 

 

Yes, she as good as said that to me.

 

 

 

Hi 

 

its a shame that the lady is in that predicament but she clearly wasnt being coerced or I'm sure she wouldnt have been welcoming nor told you her situation.. Her naivety in the job was probably why she told as thats not really the done thing. I doubt any woman starts escorting just for the love of sex or else they'd be giving it away.

I dont think you were wrong in staying although I can imagine if I was a guy & it happened to me it would of put me off.

Natalie x 

 

Perhaps she was a bit naïve but that can be attractive in its own way.

 

 

 

Do you know how many people would rather not be doing the job they're doing at the moment but it's the best alternative for them at that point of time.  So they do it  And their employer pays them.  Why should it be different with sex work?  As long as she did a good job, she doesn't have to enjoy it.  she's an escort, not a girlfriend.

 

I also can't help wondering how that came up in conversation.  Are you the kind of punter that feels he has to interrogate a lady, either for small chat, or to be nosy, or to be a worrier. She clearly is new to this and hasn't mastered the art of just giving the guy asking questions that aren't any of his business a soft standard reply to change the subject.  Because when a lady answers truthfully, the punter may not like the answer. Or worse, come to a public forum and start to share her story there.  Or even worse, share it with another working girl.  Actually, the next time a client starts prying, I'm going to tell him, with a straight face, that I'm being trafficked by some make believe pimps.

 

When you're punting, keep your punting head on.  Don't pry into the lady's business.  I can't believe she started out of the blue telling you her life story.  Unless she looks obviously trafficked, why wonder why she's there but be pleased that she is to give you what you need for that time.

 

No I never ask any searching questions . I cant remember how it cropped up but probably something like  " how long have you been here " or " do you like it here in .... " ?

 

Without any prompting whatsoever she showed me a picture of her child.

 

 

 Or she may be playing the punter and hoping he has "saviour's complex" and will want to rescue her from the game.

 

 

That thought did cross my mind .

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Had a punt recently. Door opens, this mature lady was  very welcoming , nice atmosphere etc. Hand over the fee and then have the shower.

 

Very early in the punt the lady explains that she is new to all this . She is EE and says that she has chosen to do this because she needs to 'get out of a problem' and is looking forward to stopping 'doing this '  ( i.e .sex work ) as soon as she ever can. I asked was she happy to continue with the booking and she said yes, so I duly did !

 

This is a lady clearly not embracing her sex work but going through the motions necessary to keep the fees rolling in. Did I do right or wrong by continuing ?

 

Many people work simply to raise money rather than anything else.

 

In that situation I definitely would have continued.  

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Maybe I shouldn't recount this but I will.

 

One girl had a picture of a small child in the room.  I didn't ask but it seemed odd.  After while we were relaxing and chatting she said that it was hers (which I had assumed) and then told me that the father had been killed a couple of years before!   I didn't know what to say.  It may have been true or not but if she had said that earlier I couldn't have carried on.

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