cumandgo

Secret Lives

17 posts in this topic

Keeping sex work a secret must be difficult much of the time but I wonder are there many moments when you ladies actually knock great fun out of the knowledge of what work you do unbeknownst to others  ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes when I am out with my friends and a guy starts chatting me up I will say something like, you can have me if you can afford me, the girls think it's so risqué. Once a friend of mine was showing us a short vid of her and her husband opening a bottle of champaign for a intimate celebration, she was giving a running commentary on the proceedings, her voice was amazing, so sexy. I told her (tongue in cheek) she could make a fortune on the chat lines and could she teach me how to talk like that. Another time out with a bunch of friends of a friend we were in a gaol museum and there was an apparatus for tying convicts to for flogging. As we passed it I nonchalantly said, oh we have one of those in the club I go to, I instantly had an audience agog wanting to know the ins and outs if this club, this was post 50 shades of grey books. They must have all read them.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The last comment regarding 50 Shades of Grey is very telling of my friends outside the industry. They thought the book was some kind of sexual awakening it would seem. I read two chapters and put it down, mainly as I found it very vanilla compared to work not to mention it read like a 16 year old girl had written it. 

 

Most people's mindset to the industry is still sadly very stereotypical. They either treat with disdain or wonderment, both born out of ignorance. 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you about the author's style, without the titillating content that book would never have been published.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It aint just the ladies.  One of the attractions for me is keeping the secret of over 25 years of regular punting from the wife and friends.  A comment about a place, or some reflection on 'wicked' behaviour and I am secretly amused in memories of what I have done, with whom, and where.  I am seeing a petite black girl half my age tomorrow - this I will undoubtedly enjoy very much, but both before and afterwards I am cheered in the thought oif having a secret life.  I imagine many other men feel the same - the only people with whom I share my punting are the participants!

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The last comment regarding 50 Shades of Grey is very telling of my friends outside the industry. They thought the book was some kind of sexual awakening it would seem. I read two chapters and put it down, mainly as I found it very vanilla compared to work not to mention it read like a 16 year old girl had written it. 

 

Most people's mindset to the industry is still sadly very stereotypical. They either treat with disdain or wonderment, both born out of ignorance. 

 

I have no interest in seeing that movie or reading the book but if its as poor as people say and yet its such a huge best seller, then one can understand why so many people might hold sex work in wonderment. Mind you , having punted for many years, there is a vanilla flavour to practically all of my punts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would personally much rather be completely honest about what I do, as I am not remotely ashamed and I hate lying! I'm not sure I get much thrill out of keeping it a secret. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It aint just the ladies.  One of the attractions for me is keeping the secret of over 25 years of regular punting from the wife and friends.  A comment about a place, or some reflection on 'wicked' behaviour and I am secretly amused in memories of what I have done, with whom, and where.  I am seeing a petite black girl half my age tomorrow - this I will undoubtedly enjoy very much, but both before and afterwards I am cheered in the thought oif having a secret life.  I imagine many other men feel the same - the only people with whom I share my punting are the participants!

 

Mostly , it is when I am travelling around , I look at a building in god knows where and think 'jeez, I know what goes/went on there'.

 

You are lucky with 'half your age '  . I'm very close to one-third !!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would personally much rather be completely honest about what I do, as I am not remotely ashamed and I hate lying! I'm not sure I get much thrill out of keeping it a secret. 

 

 

I can well understand that SS. Respectability and acceptance of your work would be very welcome I am sure. That is one reason why it must be very hurtful to be treated badly by a client.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can well understand that SS. Respectability and acceptance of your work would be very welcome I am sure. That is one reason why it must be very hurtful to be treated badly by a client.  

 

One of many reasons I'm afraid! I'm still hopeful on the respectability and acceptance part. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of many reasons I'm afraid! I'm still hopeful on the respectability and acceptance part. :)

 

Is it genuinely respected and accepted in any  society in the world ?   Women in civvy st will always feel threatened by you and men are generally very possessive about their women.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it genuinely respected and accepted in any  society in the world ?   Women in civvy st will always feel threatened by you and men are generally very possessive about their women.

 

Some cultures are a lot more accepting (like Thailand) than others. The disdain is very Western in nature, if I'm not mistaken.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It aint just the ladies.  One of the attractions for me is keeping the secret of over 25 years of regular punting from the wife and friends.  A comment about a place, or some reflection on 'wicked' behaviour and I am secretly amused in memories of what I have done, with whom, and where.  I am seeing a petite black girl half my age tomorrow - this I will undoubtedly enjoy very much, but both before and afterwards I am cheered in the thought oif having a secret life.  I imagine many other men feel the same - the only people with whom I share my punting are the participants!

as a punter (albeit currently out of action for nearly 2 years) I have never taken much satisfaction from having a secret life - it was never what I wanted. The only time I ever smiled at it was when walking through London one day with my family we passed a pub/bar called "Lancelot" yesterday I smiled too - as we went punting on the river near where I live - my son did the hard work and I had to smile when my o/h said to him with pride "you're a first class punter" -  that was funny - though I do hope he never has to pay in his life and I doubt if he will given the amount of female attention he gets when we are out and around

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a client

 

I can deal with the secrecy. I try very, VERY hard to make sure it stays a secret. I use an old phone with a PAYG sim. Which I bought in a busy shop with a fake name and address. I delete all texts and calls on that phone after a booking. And the phone gets turned off and put back in the box it came in, which lives out of sight. I used to not take my main phone with me on bookings. But having sat in a park waiting for 30mins cause I was too early once. I now bring it to pass the time.

 

I talk with disdain about guys who pay for sex (I'm sure that makes me hypocrite! Or maybe full of self loathing for needing to see Escorts in the first place! HAHA) I pretend I have no idea at all about all this. And if I'm ever off to see an Escort everyone who would be interested gets told it's a night out down the pub with the lads. And as a result I only tend to see girls when it fits with a cover story.

 

The only people I ever talk about all this with is the escorts themselves. (Well we're hardly going to talk about our real lives) I have a story I tell when the girls ask my what I do for a living. (in fairness it's a job I had 10 years ago so I can still talk about it with knowledge) I do tell them where I live (well nearest large town) And if I see them more than 3 times I will tell them my true first name. Only maybe 3 have got that far in 6 years. And I felt it appropriate given those ladies had also told me their real names (well what they said anyway. Who knows for sure)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it genuinely respected and accepted in any society in the world ? Women in civvy st will always feel threatened by you and men are generally very possessive about their women.

I don't even think it's civvy women feeling threatened I feel as though it's them trying to look down on us or turning their nose up at what we do.

I remember having a chat with a few works friends when I worked in retail and a girl had been reading a magazine about another girl who had secretly been a prostitute and was telling her story. She was very critical stating how it's degrading and disgusting that women would "lower" themselves to be paid for sex. I saw that another girl didn't agree and said something such as "if they can get paid for it why not? It's similar to porn" and I smiled.

What makes me laugh is those people who look down on escorts for sleeping with men for money yet have no opinion when it comes to promiscuous civvy women who just sleep around for the fun of it, for free. We are just clever being paid for something enjoyable (most of the time! ;))

My escorting is mostly secret my two best friends know and my two cousins who I am incredibly close to know, I would love to tell people about it and how much I enjoy it but I hate the instant judging that it brings.

But I'm starting to think it's not as secret as I think, I went out a few days ago to a booking and I remember the day after I had the cash in my purse (it was late couldn't go to the bank) and I was paying for Wine in the shop for a birthday and my mom said to me "Have you been giving blow jobs to earn that cash" in a jokey way, I just laughed and carried on, I have a feeling she has an incline because it's not the first time she's made such a comment! But I won't be telling her "Yes mom I give blow jobs, rimming, CIM, OWO, protected sex etc for all this cash" haha! :D

Edited by TightYoungEbony

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think society's changing quite rapidly, nowadays. People will eventually come round to thinking paying for sex is normal - I guess with this recent spate of tv and radio docs, people are curious about why men pay for sex. It's not rocket science, I have to say! I think porn has a lot to do with these attitudes changing, especially in the way we consume all things sexual on our laptops, mobiles, etc. All freely and openly available with no real consequence.

 

Remember, it wasn't that long ago where it was frowned upon to have sex out of wedlock, being gay or having a mixed raced relationship - the general public attitude, they didn't accept these things go on. Nowadays gay marriage is pretty much fully accepted in the UK, plus lots of things have changed, and for the better, I should add!

 

A lot more guys I've met are preferring to stay single. It's a simpler life, they have more cash to spend on themselves - albeit more selfish perhaps. The western world has a more free and yes, cavalier attitude to sex; we're bombarded with it on a daily basis, whether online, in the press, music videos. Most still don't admit to seeing WGs, though...myself included :P

 

I'm quite old school, growing up and getting into this industry fairly young in the mid 90s, I still feel I need to keep it a secret - even if I don't really have much family to keep it a secret from any more. I don't think i'd ever own up to friends, even best friends. That's just me, i'll probably die holding the knowledge, and i'm ok with that. People think I'm normal, I've had normal relationships - yet having experienced a 'normal ish' life, I still prefer the single life and getting my oats the least complicated way possible, is fun.

 

This, I know could change at any minute if I met the 'right' woman. My friends tell me this. I hope so, but I don't think it'd bother me too much if it didn't.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I suspect I am like a lot of guys who have a punting persona who only comes out when engaged in punting. The rest of the time I am the guy who my colleagues know as a hard worker etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now