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worldpunter

The Pick Yourself Up, Wank Yourself Off,and Get Back On The Whores Bangkok Trip Report

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  Bye Bye Love  ,................... Everly Brothers .

======================================

 

   I thought I'd have another crack at Healthland , Ekkamai , the only straight massage chain I know in Thailand. Only now it isn't . After about 6 visits and not getting so much as a brush of the back of her hand tonight I got lucky  . Sort of  .

 

    Healthland is a massive building much like a hotel with reception area , cool water to drink and magazines to browse while waiting to be collected by your  " therapist " and shown up flights of wooden stairs , long corridors , and into a private room with shower . Very clean place , as you would expect for 950 baht for 90 mins. oil massage .

 

     She leaves the room while you shower , pat yourself dry and put on the black bikini briefs supplied to keep your cocky out of sight .She knocks the door , re enters and a first class massage follows .

 

    When it gets to the bit where I've turned over and she has a face towel covering my eyes , she massages my lower stomach area . I make a few groans and twitch around on the table , she asks me if I like it  , then her hand goes into my tiny tight stretched bikini . She starts to slowly wank me and I make a grab for her arse and my hand goes up under her blouse [ they all wear standard uniform her, black slacks and white short sleeved top  ]

 

    She's 33 years old  [ one of the young ones in this place as other readers who've been may know ] Her name is Bye and she wears a padded bra . Married 12 years and no children . I ask her to massage my balls as I roll her nipple through my fingers of the breast that I have released from her white bra .

 

    The 90 mins is almost up and in truth she only does a half hearted job  with one eye on the clock .She's telling me all the time how the  " therapist "  don't get paid , only a cut on each job and rely on tips .  I hope she's not relying on my tip . I only give her 300 baht as my spunk doesn't hit the ceiling  Maybe next time .

 

    I tell her when I return I will ask for her by name  [  Bye name  , geddit  ?  ]    She looks over her shoulder going down the stairs , where you get a complimentary cup of China tea , and says   "  up to you  "  , which in Thai speak means , please yourself , you tight fisted farang bastard , I wont get rich from clients like you .

 

   She's having a bad week , it's rainy season  , I was only her second customer of the day .

 

     I walk out across the car park and say thanks to the car park attendent . I don't know why  ,I don't have a car  . I don't even spend money on the BTS to get back home . I set off to walk the 40 minute journey and hope we don't get another downpour .......

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Cool, this year's installment begins.

I have a strict policy, no wanking in thailand.

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   Wet Dream  , ............ Max Romeo  

 ===================================

 

  You have to hand it to the Japanese , for convenience did they invent the horizontal shower  ?

 

      Here I am in a Japan style health massage shop  ,  Sazanka  . 02 391 7879    Thong Lor ,  @ soi 6  having my first horizontal shower .   Laid out on a waterproof bed while a young lady holds a hand held shower over my body , followed by a body scrub , then doused in water from a tub nearby . A new kind of watersports .

 

  Must get one of these installed in my condo then when I'm too lazy to make the few steps over to my on -suite I can just shuffle over onto the wet bed and call in my housemaid to assist .

 

    Two hours with the delightful Ja Ja  for 1,550 baht   [ £ 30  ]+ tip for getting her naked later on the massage table where I feasted on her body . Under her short top and tiny skirt she had the sweetest titties and a pum-pum I had been looking for all my life . Not the usual , well worn flapper pum -pum  but a sweet , cute point of entry between her open thighs , where I had to push hard to get my tongue inside her .

 

   A smile on her face said she was enjoying herself but she insisted that we keep the noise down as the rooms are only separated by thin partitions that don't quite reach the ceiling .

 

     She covered me in hot towels and massaged my body until I dropped off to much needed sleep .  Vertical assisted showers will never satisfy me after this ..........

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That's less than a quarter of the price for a soap land in Tokyo, though that one would include sex. I need to check how they call the non-sex services.

 

There are "arb-ob-nuad" (fish bowls you call them?) that includes sex in the price you have paid, with good quality shower/bath but probably not in Central Bangkok.

 

-W

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   Backstreet Girl  ,  .............   Rolling Stones     , 

 =======================================

 

                You can tell what kind of place you are in  when you notice that you both have to share the same towel .  Ok  ,  she lets you use it first  , that's ok at the start of the punt but when you finish you get to use the still wet towel again .

 

   The one she used to wipe the sperm off her leg that you left as you pulled out quickly , whipped off the condom  and shot across her  . 

 

    The same towel she used to quietly clean her bush before you got down to her . The same towel that dried your face after coming out of the shower . The shower that had no warm water . The shower that had no shower head , only a silver hose connected to a cold water tap  . The shower that had no tiles on the wall higher than six inches above the tray and the rest , grey plaster  .

 

     That's when you realize where you are .  Back on Soi 23 in the 30 degree heat , with the rats in the gutter , and the shit smell rising from the grated sewers .

 

     But would you rather be anywhere else  ?    Not fcuking likely   ........

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great stuff WP....

 

keep um coming (so to speak)

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It's all gone quiet,

A quickie from me in a graphic style.

So I have found myself back in the LOS for the 2nd time this year.

One thing I like about Bangkok is the oily massage places there is several of these around soi 24 that specialise in PSE although it being Thailand it always pays to check you're getting what you're paying for.

So for my first Thailand punt I head off to tulip massage which is actually at Thong Lor BTS and not soi24 area, there is a girl there who normally sorts me out no problem. However I arrive unanounced and she isn't there, bugger. The mamasan lines up the available girls for my perusal. There is probably an age range from 20 to 40plus, but this is a service type of shop not just young cuties. I ask the mamasan, who does anal and she replies, they all do. Not helpful. I still find this slightly embarrassing, but I need to ask the assembled selection of about 15 girls who likes a-levels, and watch their facial expression in order to make a choice.

One or two shy away while trying not to look like they are shying away, such is the game, I go for an enuthistaic looking girl who isn't ugly. I will learn that just because she looks keen doesn't mean that she will be all things a-level. I go for 2 hours which is 800bht for the room and 1500 for the girl.

Anyway I've picked a girl called Boom who is not too slim and has a bit of baby damage, but she is keen. Turns out while she will give anal a good go it isn't really her thing. She does try and distract me with some impressive deep throat but it's her arse I'm after, anyway after pop one I realise anal isn't her thing and we still have a while to go so we go back to what she obviously prefers, oral.

This girl is an oral star she made me come twice in a row with her mouth without taking a break, deepthroating repeatedly, she appears to have no gag reflex, and she looked well pleased with herself after she got the 3rd pop out of me. I reckon she could probably go the bulk of the full 2 hours with a cock in her mouth.

Oh and at no point was a massage required, offered but not taken. I prefer a fluffy cuddle after my arse banging.

200bht tip and I go bouncing off down sukhumvit to later barfine a sexy as hell gogo dancer from nana plaza for 600 bht barfine and 2000bht ST for her but even though she does kiss she is only a step above being a starfish, but did I mention she is sexy as hell, and 23.

Thailand is great :)

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     Magic Moments  , ............ Perry Como 

   =====================================

 

    Nothing magical about this place  . Magic Table VIP bar , Soi7/1 , Suk   , directly to the right of Dr . BJs .

 

     Well you could say , now you see it , now you don't  when the girl dancing on the table top above your head lifts her black micro skirt to show her pussyhole to you . Or bends over , and you get to see her bumhole for a flash .

 

    No smoke , but lots of mirrors .  Another girl places a menu on our table to suggest a bj for 1,000 baht or a two girl bj for 2,000 . There is a VIP room up the back near the toilets to get blown in private .

 

    But we like the public bj s , don't we  . A girl was trying to pull a rabbit out of a guys pants with her hand in his zip fly seated to our left . My wingman was enjoying the show  . But he got cold feet and they both moved off to a more private area .

 

    We only had one drink and when our beers disappeared we paid our bill , 130 for beer chang here .  I put 150 in the pot and it was quickly whisked away by a dancer .  I never saw any change returned , think I fell for the 3 card trick ....... 

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Magic Moments  , ............ Perry Como 

   =====================================

 

    Nothing magical about this place  . Magic Table VIP bar , Soi7/1 , Suk   , directly to the right of Dr . BJs .

 

     Well you could say , now you see it , now you don't  when the girl dancing on the table top above your head lifts her black micro skirt to show her pussyhole to you . Or bends over , and you get to see her bumhole for a flash .

 

    No smoke , but lots of mirrors .  Another girl places a menu on our table to suggest a bj for 1,000 baht or a two girl bj for 2,000 . There is a VIP room up the back near the toilets to get blown in private .

 

    But we like the public bj s , don't we  . A girl was trying to pull a rabbit out of a guys pants with her hand in his zip fly seated to our left . My wingman was enjoying the show  . But he got cold feet and they both moved off to a more private area .

 

    We only had one drink and when our beers disappeared we paid our bill , 130 for beer chang here .  I put 150 in the pot and it was quickly whisked away by a dancer .  I never saw any change returned , think I fell for the 3 card trick .......

Should of asked the cheeky bint where your change had gone.

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Had a lady order herself two lady drinks, a tequila and a coke. Almost caused an international incident.

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Got hand it to those thai girls they know how to work it

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  Tangled Up In Blue  , ................ Bob Dylan 

 ======================================

 

      I had heard blueruin was heading for Pattaya . I had to try to get to her first .  blue would have an advantage over me  , he had seen her before . I didn't need to worry . Coconut Bar Noi takes on all newcomers as old friends . Such a sweet professional lady .

 

      I called her number  . Her LINE account was out of action . I expected after a couple of rings to hear that message ,  ,   "   you are being held in a queue , you are number 341 , your estimated waiting time will be 7 months, 3 days ,and 5 hours , we do value your call  "

 

    Where in the queue was blue  ? 

 

     She surprisingly picked up . She could see me at 8 pm  . Could I call her back then  ?     No doubt blue had got to her and she had to clean up before getting over to see me .   

 

   7.45 my phone rang, she could come over now , would take a motosyke taxi , on her way , minutes later .

 

        In the room she she stepped out of her shoes and dropped the top of her black dress to show her boobs in my hotel room mirror . Silicon valley . Lovely . A body Venetian painters would have immortalized on canvas .

 

      She stepped out of her dress and posed across my bed , her tiny panties left on my dressing table .   With her arse in the air she showed me some tricks ,controlling the muscles of her bum and pussy .  Ignoring the smell of blue's aftershave on her butt cheeks I plunged in and made up for the dessert I didn't have at dinner earlier .

 

      All this and more for 1,000 baht ST has to be one of the delights of Pattaya  . And her fingernails were painted blue ........... 

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Thought that was aftershave did you? :P

 

She is a great girl.

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Still in patts, probably you're that guy I seen in windmill with a girl on each hand everynight :)

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20 baht you skinflint

It don't matter if it was 2 baht or 2000b, it shows a lack of respect, do you think she'd try that on a Thai customer?

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  Going Up The Country  ,  ...............    Canned Heat  ,

=======================================================

 

    When the shortage of TG in London gets too much for you  , try hopping over to Bangkok for a while . When the high prices of Bangkok get too much for you  , take a trip north to Udon Thani 

   Here the action starts after dark on Sampantamit Road in the Day and Night beer bar complex , where I met Tit [ that's the name she gave me , honest ]  300 baht BF and 1,000 ST ,   2,000 LT  . 

    You can try another place called , Nutty Park  , nearby in the next soi but the prices are the same .   Two bars I remember are Flower bar and Oasis , where there's a shortage of punters and you can have your choice, take your time selecting ,cheap drinks  , no LD pressure , a relaxing atmosphere  to sit and chat to the ladies of Udon , who I have to say , seem to be the friendliest I have met so far in all my time in Thailand..........

 

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oooohh, those LBFM's of Udon make my heart race

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Here's a piece of disturbing news for you, WP - fresh from the BBC this morning but you probably have heard the same thing locally already:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/35003912

IS v Russia showdown on Walking Street?  The two are welcome to have it out with each other but NOT in our playground!

Or is this just a ploy by the junta to help bolster their sagging image and justify some of their recent 'improvements' in Thai security?

 

 

 

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23 hours ago, worldpunter said:

 

  Going Up The Country  ,  ...............    Canned Heat  ,

=======================================================

 

    When the shortage of TG in London gets too much for you  , try hopping over to Bangkok for a while . When the high prices of Bangkok get too much for you  , take a trip north to Udon Thani 

   Here the action starts after dark on Sampantamit Road in the Day and Night beer bar complex , where I met Tit [ that's the name she gave me , honest ]  300 baht BF and 1,000 ST ,   2,000 LT  . 

    You can try another place called , Nutty Park  , nearby in the next soi but the prices are the same .   Two bars I remember are Flower bar and Oasis , where there's a shortage of punters and you can have your choice, take your time selecting ,cheap drinks  , no LD pressure , a relaxing atmosphere  to sit and chat to the ladies of Udon , who I have to say , seem to be the friendliest I have met so far in all my time in Thailand..........

 

Many Thanks WP . The best Breaking News to come out of LOS for a long time . 

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    Sandy , ........... John Travolta 

   ================================

 

    I felt the soft cushion of her pussy against my cheek through her blue and white cotton panties , while taking a sniff at her pum pum and we were not even in the room yet . 

   "  you funny  "  , she says  , as I hitched up her skirt to show the maid on the floor her delights while we waited for the room to be cleaned  . Take a tip from me , never be shy with TG  .

             In the bath together in the room that same pussy was displayed to me as she supported herself against the water with her legs opened as wide as she could , her pink clitty for my attention .

      This is Sandy , her number given to me by pm before I left London and it had taken me 2 months to get around to calling on her . A Chiang Mai girl , who gives the best body to body massage since the days of Bing Bing .  90 minutes for 2,300 baht and worth every baht , I can still see her magnificent enhanced boobs in my mind as I write this. 

   Another one on the list of regulars for sure , I was even tempted to give her 1,000 baht tip but then remembered I'm a mean bastard so I passed her 500 ,

    " Twenty baht ok for me  " , she says   , " I'm not with you for the money  " 

            Here is a girl who does and says all the right things and when she can earn 1,000 baht an hour in Thailand , with a string of bookings daily , not one to go work in the uk .............

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    Bat Out Of Hell  , ........... Meatloaf  , 

 ====================================

 

 A vision of Laos  . Notice pinned on wall in hotel room ,

   " visitors will not be allowed to bring a guest in the room  [ especially ] sex woman , in emergency care please ask for permission from the hotel staff "   6th May  2013 

   Where everyone is a millionaire , [ you can draw 1,000 , 000   kip out at an ATM   ]  Where it's illegal for foreigners to  have sex with Lao ladies,  where a riverside lady will go for 200 , 000 ST or will accept 1,000 thai baht plus  50,000 kip for the room .

    If you ever travel 24 kilo south east of Ventiene there is a place called Buddha Park , it's a man made concrete sculpture park , in there is one mans vision of hell .  You walk in through the jaws of the devil and find yourself in a circular cave like hollow with skeletons and bones of whores past .

      The final resting place of The Beach Road Whore , Coconut Bar Noi  , Brioney , Cherry, and other perverse service providers  .

      Try as I may I could not resist the temptation of making contact with The Beach Road Whore again after vowing to lay her to rest .   You can climb the concrete circular steps to reach heaven and the sun and air above you, but alas I couldn't make it  . The Beach Road Whore was pulling on my shirt tails dragging me back down into hell .

     My phone was ringing .........

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   Stairway To Heaven  , ...........   Led Zeppelin  , 

==========================================

 

       I'm sure there must be something wrong with my eyes . When walking into Soi8 Sukhumvit , the big sign , with an arrow pointing right , read Boom Boom Massage  But when I go through the street level door and up the stairway , I realized it was Bamboo Massage . I was handed a menu with the pics of ladies by the reception / mamasan  

   "  anyone here do watersports  ?  "   , I asked  

     "  you want water   ?  have water , have beer , have juice , what you like , sir  "

    " no thanks  , I mean pee pee  "

     "  she not work here sir  , look the lady , 2,000 baht , one hour , include service  "

     I gave up with that, took a random choice and thought better to bring up the subject in the room  . After an intro and a shower , I had Ne Ne  sitting over my face trying to relieve herself for me . No can do .  Not even a fart  . Settled for a massage and a bbbj , where she pulled her head away at the point of cumming and with one finger up my bum , she wanked me to a finish .   No tip . 

   Another shower to get the oil and cum off my chest and back to the search , vowing to get back into school next year to brush up on my thai .........

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23 minutes ago, worldpunter said:

 Not even a fart  .

That's it - Bangkok surely has hit rock bottom - I am cancelling my trip plans. :(

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